Sitting in my room listening to "Come as you are" By Nirvana on Repeat. "Kind of Ironic Title" I thought, smiling to myself, I don't know why I thought it but I did. Suddenly there was a tap at my window. I hoped it'd be Max but it wasn't. Max didn't come around much since Kyle and I slept together. I stood up and walked over to the window. "What are you doing here?" He didn't say anything. He just looked at me. Not really at me, but through me. He did that a lot "Wanna come in?" I said nonchalantly, as I walked away from the window don't know why I asked it…I knew he would. He climbed in. I sat back down on my bed. He took a chair and sat down. This had oddly become a routine between us. He would show up and sit down in the chair next to my window. Sometimes we'd talk. Sometimes he'd talk and I listened or sometimes neither of us would really say anything. It all depended on the mood. Tonight was one of those nights.
"Never really figured you for a Nirvana fan," He said as he looked around my room. "Well there's a lot you don't know about me kid." I said in teasing tone not even looking up from my sketch. "Whatcha working on now?" He sat up in his chair. "What do you care?" I snapped back at him. "Just wondering." He said nonchalantly as he slouched back into the chair not even letting the last remark faze him. I felt bad about that last comment but not really. Last time he was here he was way harsh to me. At the time he was going through some problems but that didn't give him the right to take it out on me. He got comfortable in his chair and pulled out some papers. "Mind going over these for me?" He asked not looking up from them. "Sure." He brought them over to my on the bed and sat down next to me. I folded my legs Indian style and he stretched his out. "What are they for?" I said reading over them. "Some stuff I've been working on." He answered running his hands nonchalantly through his dark hair. "They're pretty good." I could feel his warm breath on my neck as he read over my shoulder, every so often looking at my face for some expression to see what I thought about it. "Yea? Honestly?" "Honestly." I gave back his papers.
When his breath was no longer on me I began to feel cold and I shivered slightly. He sensed it and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders…nonchalantly. He didn't get up from the bed. As a matter of fact he scooted closer to me…nonchalantly. I looked down at him from my journal and smiled…nonchalantly. He looked back up and smiled. Then he sat up and kissed me. Naturally I kissed him back. Then he dropped his papers onto the floor and took my notebook out of my lap and put them on the floor. Then he pulled my legs out and pulled me under him. Then I leaned up and kissed him. Then not so nonchalantly he kissed into me. Hard…passionate. Not so nonchalantly I took his shirt off. Not so nonchalantly he ripped mine off. Not so nonchalantly I unbuttoned his pants. Not so nonchalantly he pulled my sweats off. Then not so nonchalantly I pulled him down on top of me kissing him hard, kissing him hungrily. Like I had been starved from him for too long.
He runs his hands over the curves of my body. I run my hands over his chest. I feel his muscles tense. Then I feel the bulge appear in his boxers. He looks down at it, then at me…sheepishly. I giggle at him, and then kiss into him. As I kiss I sense everything he's been feeling.
Suddenly flashes. Flashes of him and I talking. Flashes of him and Max both looking at me but him nonchalantly look away as I catch them. Flashes of the way he feels about me. Everything I saw, I also felt. The way he felt when he talked to me, the way he felt when he'd see me. The way he was feeling right now. But out of the blue I felt a pang of guilt towards Max. "What if he comes tonight and sees this? What if I never have him again? What if….what if…what…" My mind was blank. My thoughts shot out of my head till I was overwhelmed by the touch, the smell, the sense of him. I couldn't stop. I didn't want to stop. Nothing else mattered now. Nothing else mattered until I got what I wanted. And after 2 hours I got exactly that.
After that night the late night visits nonchalantly stopped. Our friendship nonchalantly dwindled down to nothing. Eventually Max and I nonchalantly got back together. But every so often Michael and I see each other and we both nonchalantly smile at each other.