Mr. Resetti's Diary
January 1st
The Reset HQ crew thinks that it would be good for me to take anger management classes at night. They said that I'm causing "fear in people's hearts". Yeah, that's what they said.
Course the doc said I had to go there too, and I guess what she says goes. So now I'm part of this dumb class.
But these classes reek! All we do there is sit and talk about our emotions. It's supposed to make us feel better, or something. It just makes me want to punch that punk Abby's lights out.
First there was this cat named Monique who's so stuck up that she hisses at everyone when she talks. It's "pffft" here and "pffft" there. I wish for once that she'd just meow like a normal cat.
And then there's this guy named Bob who wears pink and breaks out with water works every time he tries to tell us about how he gets mad at his teddy bear named Joe. Yeah, it's that bad.
What's worse is we have to keep this journal and read aloud our entries every meeting. It's supposed to let out the anger by getting it off our chest, but I hate writing. I failed English three times. Makes my hand hurt.
I guess I'll see how the next meeting goes.
January 3rd
Today was that punk Abby's birthday, so I couldn't yell that hard when she reset. She even invited me in for cake and ice cream with some other animals. I recognized that frog kid, Prince, who was as reset-happy as Abby.
When I read my journal entry aloud at AMC (Anger Management Class), stupid Bob and Monique got all ticked and started yelling at me. Then the teacher told doth of them to just take deep breaths. Then she told me to go to the room across the hall and sit until class was done.
I felt like I was in Mole School again, getting in trouble for trying to demonstrate the proper resetting technique to the class and yelling at the ignorant human. School was such a drag when I was a kid, but I'm glad I went through it. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to deal with that punk Abby.
Tomorrow's a new day, which, I'm sure, will be full of resetting.
January 7th
Argh!
You wouldn't believe what that punk Abby did last night! She reset at one in the morning!
Of course, it couldn't be one of the other moles who went and lectured. No, it had to be me! I went to the doc today, and she told me I should start eating more fiber. It would make me release anger better, and it would control my blood pressure.
My blood pressure has always been higher than most people's, but as of late it's been sky rocketing. Doc's pretty worried, I can tell. Her eyes give it away. Plus I can smell lies. That's right. Smell 'em.
So now I've been eating fiber. Fruit ain't so bad. Thing is, the yogurt I buy is no good, so I've gotta make some from scratch.
That's right. Yogurt from scratch.
Spicy meatball yogurt? Not good. I had to wash my mouth out three times after that.
Anyway, AMC is tomorrow night. I guess I'll talk about my feelings there. Wee.
January 8th
I think AMC is just making my anger management skills worse.
Tonight we got these doll things named Stan. When we get mad, we're supposed to punch him and let the anger out. I would like to punch him just for that expression on his face. It's a cross between "I'm a geek" and "please kill me". Heck, little Timmy Mole in Mole School used to wear a similar expression, and everyday he had three new bruises and a black eye.
Today Abby reset again, as usual. I'm sick of saying that stuff to her. In one ear, out the other. She probably thinks I'm some kind of broken record. Well, I've learned to be one, after dealing with punks like her.
I'm beat. I'm thinking about watching one of my favorite movies: "A Few Good Moles". Then I'll hit the hay.
But, I'm serious. That punk is a real piece of work. I've never had to deal with anyone like her. I can tell she giggles behind my back. I can smell giggles. Just like lies. They've got a rotten stench, too. It's like an old tomato and spicy meatball yogurt mixed together. Ugh.
January 10th
Note to Self: Lay off the fiber.
Today I think I upset that punk Abby. Good. Got what she deserved. I think now she'll think twice before trying to reset again.
I even showed that punk what I was dealing with by showing her Stan. Big mistake. I think she was scarred for life. Oh well, not my problem.
AMC is as horrid as ever, what with Monique's annoying hisses and Bob's teary, dramatic speeches. Oh, yeah, he and Joe apparently made up today. I think that kid should go to issues class instead of AMC.
Don's got this bug, so now he's sick with something. Now I have to take over his resetting routes. No, it can't be that lazy bones Millie Mole. It's gotta be me. Big shocker.
I'm getting so mad, that today I ripped Stan's head plum off. That's right. Stuffing covered the floor.
Course then, when I showed up at AMC without Stan, I had to pay for the little booger. I had to fork over 500 Bells. I'm chargin' that punk Abby next time she resets.
January 14th
That punk Abby wasn't awake when I got there. But hoo boy was she awake when I started pounding on her door.
She claimed she hit her "alarm button", but I know she was lyin'! She was cold-blooded, red-handed, caught-in-the-act lyin'! I made her pay, too. I made her pay the 500 Bells for Stan, and another 500 for gettin' me up at five in the morning. Stupid kid.
I went to the Doc again today, and now she's got me on some medicine. She said it would make me relax and lower my blood pressure. She didn't warn HOW it would make me relax, though. I fell asleep during one of my lectures to some crazy resetter. Not good on my record.
Gah. I've got a headache. I wish I could just take a vacation or something for just a little while. But with Don still recovering, I can't. Plus I know that no one would be able to deal with that punk Abby the right way. People like that need some serious lecturing. And I'm serious. The next time that punk resets, she's gonna be sorry.
January 17th
Today in AMC, Bob brought Joe to the meeting. I think this anger management stuff is really for nut jobs. So, of course, Bob broke out in tears, and Joe…stared blankly at the wall. Monique hissed sarcastically, and I banged my head on the table. I wish these classes would be cancelled or something.
Mysteriously, Abby hasn't reset at all in the past few days. The Doc said that my blood pressure was starting to look better. Go figure. Maybe I'll pay the punk a little visit and see what's up. With all this free time I have, maybe I'll kick back and finally read Mole Monthly.
Don's back at the resetting business, made a full recovery. That's good. Anymore catering to him, and I would have blown a gasket. Sheesh, the guy acted like he couldn't make a can of chicken soup.
Well, enough writing for now. Time to enjoy my time off from that punk and finally get some serious shut eye.
January 20th
Abby started resetting. Again.
My blood pressure started sky rocketing. Again.
Bob and Joe are fighting. Again.
I don't know why I even bother.
Why can't I just live a normal life, without all these health problems? Going to confront that punk is bad for my health, I'm tellin' you. The Doc is sayin' that my blood pressure problems are stress related. I can tell you a source of stress right off top of my head.
That's right.
Also, note to self: medium-rare steak yogurt is not good. It's worse than spicy meatball yogurt. Guess I'll try something else to keep my health problems at a minimum.
January 22nd
Instead of yogurt, I'm trying to eat more fruit and junk like that. It's easier, and it doesn't involve a lot of creativity,
But, of course, it wouldn't matter if I swallowed a fruit basket whole; that punk Abby just won't let me try to keep my blood pressure down. I'm tellin' you, that punk IS gonna learn to save before I (or she) die, because the next time she resets, it is GO TIME! No more Mr. Nice Mole for me.
AMC is just getting worse. Bob and Joe supposedly made up, but Monique keeps talking about how she gets angry at her friend, Purrl. Apparently this cat is even more stuck up than Ms. Hiss. Course the teach' just HAS to hear every detail, so now we're into this long conversation between Monique and the teach'. I just sit there, twiddling my thumbs.
I'm goin' to The Doc tomorrow, so maybe she'll tell me other ways to try and keep my blood pressure in line.
January 23rd
Doc said to relax when I get really ticked. She said that listening to classical music would help. But, man, is it annoying. If I ever hear a violin again, it'll be too soon.
That punk Abby WILL learn to not reset. I promise you that. She has made the list. She's charged me Bells. She's caused health problems. I get a headache just thinkin' about her. She's forced me to taste-test spicy meatball yogurt.
A new guy joined AMC. His name is Pedro. He's some kind of freak on the verge of going completely insane. Even the teach' is scared of him. Heck, even Monique is scared of him. Bob just cries. Crybaby.
No one else has ever, in all my days in the resetting business, reset as much as that punk. Hoo boy, next time she resets (which I'm sure will be tomorrow) she's gonna be sorry. You watch.
January 25th
Well, the Reset HQ has hit a cold spell. It's freezing down here. They even cancelled AMC because of snow. Yes!
Today, I think I will no longer have a problem with that punk Abby resetting ever again. When I popped up out of the ground, I stayed there yappin' until lunch time. And even then, I only left because my voice was starting to go out and I was hungry. But it had to be done sometime or another. Hee hee!
And now it's time for some serious R&R. Sure, I still have a couple resetters, but they're nothing like that punk. And if they get that bad, they'll get the same treatment: a visit from this crazy mole.
I'll write later. Right now, I need sleep.
January 29th
I thought I was in the clear. I thought my high blood pressure and angry, bitter days were over. I even thought this stupid cold spell was over.
Then she reset again.
That's right. That punk reset. Again.
RESET RESET RESET!!! She just couldn't stop! But no, she had to push it! PUSH IT RIGHT OVER THE LINE!!
That's it. The kid gloves are coming off. The "I'll forgive you, but no more" days are over. It is GO TIME! Seriously. I'm not kidding now. If that human resets one last time, she's gonna regret it for the rest of her life. I'm gonna hit her reset button until her entire world is deleted. I'm sick of her. Drastic times call for drastic measures. And she won't be able to get a word in edgewise.
Time to crack my knuckles and get down to business.
February 2nd
…I couldn't reset her world into oblivion.
I couldn't. It would have been against every moral value I've ever been taught. The Resetti name would have been tainted for life. Oh, but I was this close from doing it. This close.
It's been freezing down here, but up above the ground it's blue cold. I almost freeze to death every time I go up there. I'm even starting to get sick, I think. Maybe I can take a couple of sick days and take a break from work. I need one, too.
That new guy in AMC has us all scared to death. What's his name? Pedro. Yeah. He's like a madman on the very edge of a cliff that leads to breaking everything in sight and becoming a full psychopath. Monique stopped coming. Well, at least I don't have to hear hisses 24-7.
Oh, and today was Groundhog Day. I got a letter from the mayor of that punk Abby's town, inviting me to see my shadow or somethin'.
Right. That's gonna happen.
February 4th
I'm stuck in bed with a remote and a couple of "Mole Monthly" magazines. I'm really sick. Guess I caught somethin' that Don caught. I KNEW he should have made his own chicken soup! Little bug.
Only problem is that I don't have anyone to fill in for me on my resetting route. So, every three hours or so, the sirens go off in my room like they're havin' a fiesta. Ah well. That punk can reset herself into oblivion, if she keeps hittin' that button.
I'm missing AMC too. I hope the teach' ain't mad. What am I sayin'? Who cares if she gets mad? I'm the one sick in bed sufferin', not her.
Aw, for the luvva dirt…
I'm sick of writing.
I'm gonna watch TV.
February 7th
My cold's gotten better, I think. Doc says that I should be able to go back to work in a couple of days. Woo.
Don better be nice to me for a while, cause he didn't have to lift a finger for me. Hear me? Not a finger. Hmph.
Sheesh, I wish that punk Abby would stop hittin' reset. Those sirens are startin' to get on my nerves. Not that they don't anyway, but at least I'm usually able to get my tail up there and lecture her.
I never noticed it before, but she's got real hypnotic eyes…yeah…kind of relaxing. Course, they're not relaxing when they're full of sass. Stupid punk.
February 9th
Well, it's back to the old grind. I've got another resetter on my list now; her name's Rita, but at least she looks sincere when she apologizes to me. That's more than what I can say for that punk Abby.
It's always the girls who turn into resetters. You never see any SANE guys resetting. I don't understand why the girls just don't stay in bed while the guys do all the work.
More AMC tonight. Yay. I can hardly contain my excitement.
February 10th
The most wonderful thing happened!
That punk Abby moved!
Yee-ha!
It's finally true! All my prayers have been answered! Now, finally, for one day in my life, I can finally take a nap without worrying! I can finally watch TV for hours on end! I can finally…
…
The reset alarm sounded. Hm. Better go see who it is.
[Mr. Resetti left to see who the resetter was, and then wrote in the same entry later.
I can't believe it. It was Abby. Again.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! I THOUGHT THAT WHEN SHE MOVED, SHE GOT ON SOMEBODY ELSE'S RSET ROUTE! AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!
Aw, for the luvva dirt…
I give up. I'm through. I'm gonna stay in bed for the rest of my life, if the stupid reset alarm doesn't keep me awake.
February 12th
Today I sent the boss my resignation letter. I'm done with this business. I figure tunnel somewhere else, away from this stupid job. Away from that punk Abby.
I dunno what I'll do for Bells. I figure I'll get some other mole job, rather than work with the resetting business.
This'll no doubt be the last journal entry. I'm done with AMC and Pedro, Bob and the Teach'. Time to pack my things and see where life brings me next.
February 12th was the last journal entry in Mr. Resetti's diary. After getting a home under a large rock, he lived a disdainful life after realizing he moved to the same town that Abby, Prince, Monique and Bob lived in. For a while, he worked odd jobs that needed done in the neighborhood, but he eventually died after accidentally tripping with an axe in his hands.
At the poor mole's funeral, Abby and co. came to bid their final farewells to that annoying mole that pestered them about resetting. Unfortunately, Abby was carrying a candle, which she dropped into Resetti's casket. After that, they decided to cremate him, and let him, finally, reset in peace.