Just a little something for the boy I left behind. Better luck this time, handsome.
Recess owned my soul for a while, but I don't own any part of it.
October 18. Tenth grade. Recess.
The Diggers race with each other to make the deepest hole, laughing and joking amid flying dirt
Chad and Gretchen poke through the dirt pile, discussing earthworm biology, pausing between sentences to kiss
Mikey recites poetry to a circle of adoring fans
The Ashleys do each other's hair
Everyone has someone
Except me
I am alone in the shadows
With only my sharp eyes and small size
I see things, and tell those who want to know
Everyone has a special talent here:
Sports, art, eating, swinging, whatever
Spying is mine
Where's the shame in that?
But they hate me for interfering in their lives
Just trying to live my own
So lonely
And then…
A girl
I've never seen her before
Blonde hair, brown eyes
My age
People act like I'm invisible, when I'm not visibly spying on them
But not her
She walks right up to me
Says, "Hi, my name is Natalie. I'm new here"
New. She doesn't know what I am
I tell her my name
Her eyes are on me, not full of hate
She smiles. "Nice to meet you"
Later, a note in my mailbox:
"You have beautiful eyes.—N"
A new beginning