Classification: Romance/Angst Keywords: Mulder/Scully romance. Rape.
Summary: Mulder is trying to comfort Scully after a difficult experience, but for some reason she is reminded of it every time they are together. Can they get through this? Rated M for mature themes. Please don't read this if you aren't mature.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters here. They belong to Chris Carter and the folks at Ten Thirteen. Thanks for creating a world I can play in.
Please send me any comments, good or bad.Here's a little something from way back when the X-files was a part of "appointment television". I thought I'd postithereso my other stories didn't look so lonely. Send all comments to scarletscullycogeco.ca. Thanks for reading and now on with the show.
Healing (1/7)
Scully felt her body sigh with the release of years of hidden emotions. In her mind's eye she could envision crumbled walls lying around her feet. And in her arms, to her amazement, was her partner, Fox Mulder. She didn't have to imagine it either. He was really there, his arms around her, his full lips pressed against hers, his tongue questing deep into her mouth.
Too soon, for Scully, he pulled away from her, smiling slightly. She could feel herself smiling back. He placed his hands along her jaw line, tilting her face up slightly and he gazed into her eyes. She stared back, searching into the depths of his beautiful hazel eyes, reading the love she saw there. Knowing that for the first time in 5 years she wasn't imagining what she saw. He had confirmed all her suspicions, and dreams. Mulder leaned forward, gently pressing his lips against hers, so tenderly. She was about to open her mouth to him again, but before she could, he pulled away.
"I should go home now, Scully."
'WHAT!' her mind cried. Instead, she heard herself stammering: "It's not late yet. Couldn't you stay for a while longer?"
He read the mixed emotions in the big blue eyes staring questioningly back at him, one of the predominant being disappointment, another being confusion. "Oh Scully, you know I'd like to stay a little while longer. In fact, I'd love to stay alot longer, but I really don't think I should."
He could still see she didn't understand what he was trying to say. "I... I just think that this is really the start of something big... something meaningful. Shit, no matter how I say it, it sounds cheesy. What I'm trying to say is that the way I feel tonight... I'm so overwhelmed and relieved and in love with you and I don't know how much longer I could stay in the same room with you without ripping your clothes off."
Scully's eyes opened wide with surprise and desire.
"Scully, I want you so badly right now, but I don't think it's the right time. When I make love to you for the first time I want it to be special and, to be honest, right now I'm not even sure if I could make it 5 minutes, let alone memorable." He laughed. "Do you see what I'm trying to say?"
Scully nodded. "You want to wait and you can't wait tonight."
"Right. But don't get me wrong. I definitely don't have any prudishly long courtships in mind. I just don't want to have our first time like this... after a fight that led to us, well, admitting our feelings. I mean, I think you at least deserve dinner. Hell, I think I'm even willing to throw in a show."
"Gee, Mulder, you sure do know how to let a girl know that she's special. Okay, I understand. I'm not saying I like it, but I understand."
"Thanks, Scully," he said while standing and picking up his coat. "I'll talk to you tomorrow?"
"You had better call me tomorrow. And don't forget to kiss me good-bye."
Laughing, she put her arms around his neck and pulled herself close to him, kissing him passionately, almost desperately. She pressed her body against the length of his body, feeling the distinct presence of the very reason for his early departure. Feeling thrilled at the desire she inspired in him, she thrust her tongue into his mouth with more persistence, grinding her hips against him at the same time. This elicited a slight groan from Mulder and he ended the kiss, breathless.
"Scully, what are you trying to do to me?"
She smiled at him. "I just want to keep you interested."
"Believe me, you have every bit of my attention."
"Sweet dreams, Mulder." She blew him a kiss as he walked out the door, closing it behind him. She leaned back against the door and sighed. It had been fun teasing him, but now she really wished he had stayed.
Scully wandered around her apartment for a while, not really knowing how to pass the time. She didn't feel at all tired and knew that sleep was still a distant prospect. She glanced at her computer, but felt too restless to sit and do work, or check her email, or even surf the net. She picked up the phone 3 times, turning it on and then off again before having actually dialed Mulder's number. She decided to go for a walk, not really having the energy for an all out run. Once changed into a pair of tights and a baggy sweatshirt, she laced up her running shoes. She was about to walk out the door, when she realized that she had no clue as to where she was headed. Hating to walk without a purpose, she decided to head towards the video store. That way, once her energy was spent, she could sit and relax in front of the TV.
The night was quiet and a slight breeze ruffled the leaves of the treeslining the street. She enjoyed the quiet and reveled in her own thoughts. She smiled at herself, realizing that she felt happy for the first time in a long time. All the bad memories -- Emily, cancer -- were behind her. She knew that if she dwelled on her happiness for too long, she could pick out holes where complications could arise. She chose to ignore them however, letting the knowledge that she was loved by the man that she loved surround her in a blanket of bliss.
Still encompassed in her happiness, Scully left the video store, almost humming aloud. She had rented "Sabrina", a love story that she had seen before but wanted to see again to keep the feeling of euphoria that she felt now. All because of one man. 'And I thought that I was a better woman than one who could have her dreams come true just because I was loved by a man.'
Her thoughts drifted to Mulder as she began the short walk home. In her mind, she could see his sensuous smile, the one he smiled when he was really happy. He had a devilish grin that was sexy in its own way, but she loved his smile. She could see him passionately arguing some point and almost lost her breath trying to imagine how passionate he would be while making love. She was lost in her thoughts of him, remembering that stubborn hair that would never stay where it was supposed to stay, and the gentle pressure of his hand at the small of her back as he guided her along some hallway. Suddenly, she felt the pressure against her back. Realizing she was only a little more than a block from home, she thought Mulder must have come back and saw her walking up the street.
She smiled and was about to turn back to look up at him, when the pressure against her back increased. "Keep walkin', bitch and don't even think of turnin' to look at me." The voice was gruff and definitely not Mulder's. She thought briefly of her gun, but then remembered she didn't have it with her. If she had, this man's hand would be directly above it, making it inaccessible anyway.
Before she could think of a way to escape, the man's other hand came around in front of her, wielding a fairly large knife. "Turn in here," he ordered, whileguiding her into the alley with the hand placed at the small of her back.
Wary of the knife, Scully numbly turned into the alley, only to find herself facing 3 other men. It was dark, and she couldn't make out any of their features. 'Why the hell didn't I take off when he first approached me?' she scolded herself.
The first man moved the knife from her stomach and pushed her forward roughly. She took the opportunity to swing her bag at the side of his head and take off past him, back in the direction they came. The hit didn't faze him though and he grabbed her wrist before she got away. Yanking her back roughly by her arm, he swung her around until she felt her whole body slam against the brick wall of the building.
Her entire body was in pain, but a sharper, distinct pain was registering in her shoulder. Before she could move again, she felt a pair of hands grasp her wrists, holding them securely while she felt the cold of the blade against her skin followed by the tearing of fabric.
She screamed wordlessly, in fear, in pain and in anger. The attacker holding her wrists had caused new waves of agony to emanate from her shoulder and she realized that the sound of tearing fabric was an attempt at removing her clothes.
At the sound of her cries, her attackers turned her around and she found herself with her back against the wall and staring into the face of a man of average height, with short, dark hair and a goatee. Before she could look at the others, the knife was pressed against her cheek. "Another sound and you bleed. Got it?"
Her cries died to a whimper in response to the cool metal pressed into her skin. She felt hands at her waist tugging at the remains of her pants until they caught at her ankles. More sounds of fabric tearing and then the hands were pulling her sweater over her head, moving her arms and causing her to cry out in agony again.
"I warned you, bitch." And the knife, which had briefly left her face to remove her clothes, was once again pressed into her cheek. Only now, it sliced downwards causing her to scream again.
She was thrown to the ground and she tried to get up. A foot slammed into her ribs, followed by a crunching sound. Scully found herself flipped onto her back, rough hands on her wrists and over her mouth. Then, to her horror she felt the body push between her legs and the man thrusting inside her, stretching her to the point of tearing. She had closed her eyes and could no longer see anything. Her senses were assaulted with pain from numerous sources and her ears were filled with the sounds of her own muffled cries and the grunts from the man inside her.
The first man pulled out from inside her and she felt her body forced over so she was lying on her stomach. Then there was another man inside her, or maybe it was the same one. She didn't know. Her arms were pulled above her head and her face was shoved into the gravel of the alley. She could taste blood mingled with dirt from the ground.
Then, the second man pulled out, allowing a third man to enter. Some part of her mind was still working and she felt reduced pressure as the men switched positions. From some reservoir, she gathered the strength to get up and start running.
The body slammed her into the ground again. "Not yet, little lady. We're not finished yet."
She started screaming again. Then the knife was in front of her eyes again.
"Now, what did I say about that?" Her cries faded to whimpers again. "Good girl. But you shouldn't have tried to get away. I'm gonna have to punish you for that."
Scully started yelling for help. His fist slammed into her face. Then there were hands all over her body and fingers holding her head by her hair. She was on her stomach again, face shoved into the ground. Then a man was thrusting into her, only it was the wrong place. She cried out in pain, begging them to stop. The third man pulled himself from her ass and she kicked back at him, furious, no longer thinking clearly.
There were more kicks to the ribs and she was definitely having a hard time breathing. The last man forced his way inside her, thrusting deeply, causing her to scream in agony with each thrust. After he finished, she was dragged to her feet by her hair and pushed back against the wall.
"You're not gonna tell anyone, are ya?"
She shook her head vehemently, causing her to feel nauseous.
"Good, cause if you were gonna, I'd have to kill ya, now wouldn't I?"
She nodded her agreement.
He pushed his lips against her bloody lips, then let her body drop to the ground as he ran off after the others.
Scully lay there for a long time not knowing what to do besides acknowledging that she was still alive and conscious. Both were strongly indicated by the waves of agony overtaking her ravaged body. Eventually, her mind processed that she was naked in an alley and she was overcome with the need to go home.
Somehow, she managed to pick herself and her scattered belongings up off the ground. Clutching her clothes protectively to her body, she carried them and the bag from the video store home. Fumbling with her keys, she let herself into her apartment. She felt numb and some part of her mind signaled that she was going into shock. However, that part of her mind was no longer in control and was quickly dismissed.
Once home, Scully felt the need to clean herself up. She didn't want to soil her home with the terror of what had just happened to her. She turned the shower on full blast and steaming hot. She stood under the water's spray, allowing the heat to assault her body as the men had previously. Suddenly, her mind was overcome with images of the attack and she fell to the tub bottom and curled up into a protective ball, crying softly.
Don't say that I didn't warn you. More chapters to come shortly. Please read and review. Scarlet.