When I Pretend
Song sung by: Jordan Pruitt
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
This song fic is legal! No last names are mentioned.
Thoughts of you keep running through my head
Everyday I wonder how he's doing, if his sugar is under control, if he's feeling well or if he's happy. Everyday I see him, in my head. His face is perfectly scarred into my memory. I can picture his curly hair in a perfect mess on top of his head, his brown eyes softly gazing into my own, his nose perfectly planted in the center of his face, and his lips, partially tilted upwards in the corners.
Images I just want to forget
And I don't want to see him everyday; I want his perfect image to be erased from my mind. Because every time his picture perfect image pops up in my head, the tears roll down my dull face. And smiley Miley slowly disappears.
I look in the mirror and put on a happy face
Before every award show, before I go out to eat, before I just go out I look in my mirror. It's not comforting to look at the reflecting image but I force myself to put on the smile that everyone loves to see. Then I keep it planted there until I'm back home, safely jailed up in my room.
But nobody sees it
And even though the smile is as fake as it gets everyone believes it, they never realize that I'm really hurting badly. They just see what they want to see.
And I don't believe it
How they don't see that the smile is fake? I'm not sure. Anyone in the right mind would be able to figure out that my smile is not all there. Just look at the pictures from a year back, back when I was truly happy… with Nick.
I
bought into every word you said
He promised me that he would be with me forever and love me always. He promised me that he would come to my sixteenth birthday party no matter what. He promised me that he would always have my back. And I believed it. Now all those promises have been broken.
I never thought that's something I'd regret
At the time I knew I was in love, heck I still am in love. And I thought that he was in love, and that he meant every word he was saying. And maybe he did at the time, but now those promises mean nothing to him and they mean the world to me. And now I realize that if I had never believed in those promises that I wouldn't be hurting everyday because I know that he broke them. But I guess that's my fault.
I
look at you now and wonder who I see
The computer screen constantly flashes his picture in my face, as if it's not enough seeing him in my mind all day long. Ever since the break-up he's done random things, like chopping off his hair, and now that I don't know why he's doing these things. It makes me wonder who he really is. Maybe because I'm so use to knowing why he does things, I'm not sure. All I know is that now he is like a stranger in my eyes.
I'm lost in a frenzy and it's never ending
And so I'll sit around all day, racking my brain for a reason to call him up and what I would say if he actually answered. Then I'll write a song about him. And I feel like I'm going crazy. Am I going crazy?
The way we used to talk all night
I smile; every night was wonderful. He either called me up on the phone or was right by my side, talking constantly about how much we loved each other.
I
still get butterflies
The butterflies still erupt in my stomach every time I think of him, or see him. They're comforting at times and annoying the rest of the time.
When I go there again
I think about our past relationship constantly, and that also makes the butterflies start to act up. At the same time, I cry. Most of the time I go back to the happy times but every now and then I think of the break-up or the fights and then I get mad at myself for letting US end.
I see the way you used to smile
He never liked to show his teeth when he smiled, he still doesn't, but when he was with me I saw his teeth constantly. They were perfect in my opinion, white but not to white and slightly crooked. His lips turned upward in the perfect angle, it was beautiful.
If
only for a while
Sometimes I only get a flash and then it's gone in an instant but I still see it and that's all that matters.
But
only if I pretend
And even though I don't get to see your real smile or your beautiful face in person, I can still pretend.
A/n: It's only the first verse and the chorus but I needed to write something because I got my lap top back! And sorry if it's crappy, I just really wanted to do something. And I've already written two pages on Bleeding Loner? So as you can see I'm super happy.
AND I'm writing a new story! It's Niley of course. So get ready for it.
OK, that was my short and kinda sad Niley song fic. Read and Review my wonderful readers =)
