These disclaimers are beginning to get a little tiresome, no? I mean, if I worked for Nintendo, would I really be posting on this website?


Fallen Angels

Part I

The morning sun assaulted Samus Aran's eyes as she guided her Gunship through the inter-dimensional portal Master Hand had opened for the Smashers' convenience. Donning her helmet, the bounty hunter steered her vessel towards the landing strip where other aircraft were already docked. Crazy Hand, having been put in charge of air traffic control, directed Samus to a section of the airfield where a group of Toads stood ready to unload her luggage. Deploying the landing gear, the Gunship touched down.

Removing her helmet, Samus leant back in her seat, breathing a sigh of relief as she saw the Falcon Flyer parked the other side of the airfield; she'd rather avoid crossing the good Captain's path for the time being. Putting away her armour, the bounty hunter descended the Gunship's cargo ramp where an ape garbed in a tuxedo, wraparound shades and a red bandana awaited her. Evidently, Master Hand had had a hard time finding extra help for this tournament.

"Welcome to Smash Mansion, Miss Aran," said Funky Kong. "Anything you want left onboard?"

As Samus shook her head, the waiting team of Toad porters rushed past her pushing baggage trolleys. In no time at all, the very same team were lined up at the bottom of the cargo ramp, their trolleys loaded.

"This way please," said Funky, gesturing towards a golf cart parked the far side of the tarmac. Taken aback by the speed the Toad porters had worked at, Samus simply nodded, following the tuxedoed primate across the airfield. En route, she glanced round at the other docked vessels: Princess Peach's airplane Toad Express, Bowser's airship, and... a vessel unlike anything she'd seen before.

A wooden galleon, with broad angelic wings protruding from its hull; it was truly a unique sight, even by Super Smash standards. Silhouetted against the morning sun, Samus was prevented from seeing anything in great detail, but from what she could tell, the crew seemed not to be bothering with the complex network of rigging. Instead, they simply flew from task to task. It was then that the bounty hunter noticed a figure balancing on the galleon's bowsprit, his hair and cloak caught in the soft breeze. Was it Prince Marth, perhaps? No, she decided. The figure's hair was too unkempt, his cloak too tattered. It had to be a new Smasher.

Further speculation was disrupted by the deafening roar of the Star Fox mothership's fusion engines as it emerged from the inter-dimensional portal. Taking a moment to gaze up at the impressive starship as it manoeuvred overhead, Samus was forced to jog to catch up with her luggage and guide. Shown into the passenger's seat of the waiting golf cart by Funky Kong, the bounty hunter was driven away to the Smash Mansion by her chauffeur, the orangutan Lanky Kong, as the ape and his team of Toad porters dashed off to greet the newly-arrived Star Fox.

SCENE

Closing his eyes, Ike breathed a sigh of relief as the calm breeze blew across his face: it was a welcome change from the cyclonic winds that had confined him to his cabin for the last two days. Not that his time aboard the S.S. Seraphim hadn't been an experience to remember. The boat, or 'galleon' as its young captain Pit had endlessly reminded him, was the flagship of Palutena, the Queen of Skyworld's Royal Navy, and a fine vessel to be sure; too bad about his fellow passengers, really.

Ike had been the fifth Smasher to board the Seraphim, after it had already made stops in Hyrule and Altea. The first passengers had been Zelda, the crown princess of Hyrule, and her champion Link. As a mercenary who'd grown up on the battlefield, fighting in conflicts waged between competing nobles, Ike had little time for those of royal or aristocratic lineage. In his eyes, Queen Elincia of his adopted nation of Crimea was the only monarch worthy of his respect, which meant where Zelda and her lapdog were regarded with disdain, Prince Marth was held in utter contempt.

The only passenger he hadn't seen fit to pass judgement on was Ganondorf, King of the Gerudo Tribe. He showed symptoms of the decadence that tainted most royals, with his harem of scantily-clad servant girls, but Ike had waived judgment when young Pit had regaled him with the Gerudo's life story. Sure, Ganondorf was a king, but it didn't sound as if he had much of a kingdom to reign over. In such circumstances, Ike could only admire the dogged determination with which the sorcerer had tried time and time again to conquer Hyrule, always in the name of improving his people's lives.

"Sir Ike, we're ready to disembark," said the voice of Pit. So absorbed was Ike in his reverie, the sudden interruption came very close to toppling him off the bowsprit upon which he was balanced.

"Please, just Ike," said the mercenary as she stepped back on deck, ruffling the boy's mop of brown hair. The youngster smiled as his locks were assaulted. He'd been a regular visitor to Ike's cabin during the week-long voyage, partly because he'd given his own cabin to Ganondorf to accommodate
the Gerudo's entourage.

Leaving Pit to tend to his crew, who he'd be forbidden from communicating with for the duration of the Super Smash, Ike proceeded down the Seraphim's gangplank onto the tarmac, where he retrieved his sword Ragnell off a Toad porter's trolley. To his relief, Marth and company had already been led away to their golf carts. Now he had access to his weapon, if he'd wound up sitting next to the Altean prince, he wasn't sure he would've been able to restrain himself.

With nothing but a lawn of lush green grass between the airfield and Mansion, Ike opted to walk. It would be a welcome opportunity to stretch his legs. Slinging the golden longsword over his shoulder, the mercenary had only gone a short distance before stopping in his tracks: "Hey Ike, wait up!"

Ike turned around to see Pit flying after him. A smile broke out on the swordsman's weather-beaten features at the sight of the youngster, his flowing toga barely clinging to his body. Despite his reputation as something of a lone wolf, he'd been most glad of the boy's company during the voyage.

SCENE

For the final leg of her journey to the Smash Mansion, Princess Zelda found herself seated as Samus had been next to the orangutan Lanky Kong. Given her inexperience with things technological and her chauffeur's rather tenuous grip on his own sanity, the ride in the golf cart proved to be some of the most rattling of Zelda's life. It was matched only by the moment she'd learnt of Ganondorf's escape from his own execution. All too happy to have her fiancée Link help her out of the wheeled death trap, she muttered a polite thanks to the unhinged primate before going inside.

In the Smash Mansion lobby, the Smashers and their porters were greeted by another Kong, this time Candy, stood behind a reception desk. She gave a quick summary of the night's itinerary, the highlight of which was the opening banquet, and then summoned the guides who would show the Smashers to their rooms, or suites as Candy seemed to insist on calling them. Allowing Marth to kiss her hand in farewell, Zelda and Link exchanged pecks upon the cheek before the princess was led off by the adorable Tiny Kong, garbed in a maid's uniform.

Leading the Hylian monarch through a winding network of passageways and stairwells she'd somehow memorized, the diminutive Kong handed Zelda a copy of the itinerary before curtsying and scampering off. Still a little bemused, the princess held the door open as the Toad porters shifted her vast amounts of luggage into the room. After Peach's fungal attendants had vacated, she finally set foot in what would be her living quarters for the few weeks. Candy Kong hadn't been joking when she'd called it a suite: the place was huge.

Far bigger than her bedchamber in Hyrule Castle. That said, it was perfect considering this would be the last time the princess had a room, or indeed a bed, to herself. Zelda was fast approaching her 21st birthday, the day she could be officially crowned Queen of Hyrule, and her courtiers had decided to take the opportunity to schedule the long-awaited wedding between her and Link for the coronation day. She had no aversions to the notion, and understood full-well what the news had meant to everyday Hylians, but in all her years, she'd only ever known the company of one man, and the princess yearned for another, if only for a night.

Hence, she'd arranged to meet Prince Marth in the Smash Mansion's plaza in little under an hour, to discuss something she hadn't felt comfortable conversing about on the Seraphim. After all, it was mighty hard to talk ill of Palutena when the crew, upon whom the Smashers' lives depended, worshiped the woman as a goddess. Zelda hoped that the absence of Marth's consort Roy, who Master Hand had neglected to invite on this occasion, coupled with the information she'd acquired regarding the redhead, would quench her thirst for a man as refined as she.

Whilst Link's heart was pure, his coarse hands would forever be those of a rustic farmboy's.