Disclaimer: I do not own or make money from Death Note
Suggested Listening: The Change by Evanescence
-The Change-
"I love you," Mello kissed at his lips, cupping his face with a gentleness that usually was beneath him. He was always careful when it came to him. Matt sighed into the kiss, but not like he used to. In the beginning Mello only had to so much as look at him―god, his smile had been breathtaking―for Matt to melt. A glance, a touch, and he was a goner. Butterflies would beat against his insides like war drums and his body would fall under Mello's spell as he gave up his heart.
The kisses used to light a fire in his soul so strong he thought nothing could extinguish it. The sex, incomparable. What they felt―love—was unmatched...But time had tempered his feelings, dimmed them down to the point where he was ready to tear his hair out, throw something, do anything to just tell him it was over.
Mello had to have seen it too. His reluctance. The way sex was not appealing to him anymore and the long silences that never used to be between them; how it took longer and longer for him to get home some nights. He didn't belong to him anymore. Maybe he never had.
Matt hated lying to him, he really did. It grated on him, ate away at him so much he thought his sanity must be slipping. He tried―lord he had tried-to tell Mello so many times. But his mouth could never get the words out and then the moment would pass without the much needed confession.
Maybe he was stuck in the 'first love syndrome: where you just couldn't let go of that first special person you shared your soul with, had all those cherished memories with.
But no matter how much he held those times dear to him, it just wasn't the same anymore. Mello obviously still cared, if that beautiful smile being sent his way meant anything, but it wasn't the same for Matt. He wasn't in love anymore. Mello just did not know him anymore and it was suffocating. He had changed, grown out of that teenage love and Mello had not. He wished things were different. He wanted to feel that connection again, feel the warmth that had spread across his chest at Mello's eyes on him...
Mello leaned into him, holding him close and in a snug grip as though he expected him to disappear at any moment. He knew the words he needed to say, had practiced them many times over in his mind, and he opened his mouth to speak but when Mello looked up at him his throat constricted and he could only manage a weak smile.
He wanted to scream.
"Forever, Matty?"
"Sure Mello..."
But he couldn't.
-End-
AN: :D and this is what evanescence does to me
review?