Rita meets her match
Severus Snape: Scoundrel or Saint had climbed the Daily Prophet's best seller charts after being released just four short weeks after its namesake's death and Rita Skeeter wasted no time in publishing 'titbits' from the 'biography' in the prophet, going through radio interviews, and grinned inanely from posters and flyers posted liberally around Diagon Alley, the Ministry of Magic, and Hogsmede village.
"Merlin's pants!" cried Hermione Granger as she slammed down the book on the table in the three broomsticks, causing Ron and Harry to startle.
"...Bloody hell Hermione, I thought the plan was to come up and see you, not get concussed by a crap book." Ron began securing his Butterbeer.
Hermione was retaking her 7th year to secure a position in the Ministry of Magic's department of magical creatures office and Ron and Harry had agreed to meet her in the village every weekend.
"...I'm not happy with it either Hermione." Harry sighed, rubbing his eyes under his glasses.
"...The woman is a bloody liar!" Hermione shrieked. "At least 55% of the 'facts' in this book are made up, I mean, it says here in Chapter Seven that a Gryffindor student was actually failed by Snape for being a Gryffindor! He's not been dead six months and she's treating him like a boogeyman!"
"...Boogeyman?" Ron mouthed to Harry.
Harry shrugged and took a sip of his Butterbeer.
"...Snape did so much for the school, and for us, and there is nothing we can do to stop that hateful hag from spreading filth and lies about him!"
"...You gotta admit, Hermione. The sudden revelation that Snape was working for Dumbledore all along and had been...well..." he turned to Harry. "...Mate, I don't wanna say it...but,"
"Say it." Harry insisted.
"...Well, he's been protecting you for your Mum...Well its got to come as a shock."
"Or is it that nobody can believe that of him?" Hermione snarled, placing her Butterbeer over Rita Skeeter's grinning face.
"...You're acting oddly protective towards him..." Ron observed jealously.
"...I just think he deserves the remembrance we owe him. He made all of this possible...I mean, Harry, you got his portrait put up in the office..."
Harry thought back to the day when they unveiled Snape's portrait in the office to a small committee of those involved that night. Ginny was with him and had held his hand as they observed Snape, healthy, and sleeping next to the portrait of Phineas Nigellus.
"And Ron, you stopped George from making that Potion with Snape's face on..."
"Well, only fair, wasn't it? Considering..."
"...I wish I had outed her as an Animagus..." Hermione scorned. "...That would have put her nasty little quill away for good!"
"You're too fair Hermione...You should have said forever to her, and not just a year."
"As a Gryffindor should be..." she sighed and began scribbling on her notepad what looked like a demonic looking beetle.
In the writing of the book, Harry, Ron, and Hermione had all been requested to be interviewed in respect to his final moments. Each had refused to discuss such sensitive information with her.
Unfortunately, this led to Snape's final moments being dealt with with such brevity that it did him a great injustice.
Hermione was scratching at the parchment when Ron looked up to see a gaggle of wizards and witches all in ostentatious looking clothing and fancy hats.
"Simply a triumph!"
"Wonderfully written!"
"You must have been at your quill day and night!"
Ron looked over the wafting of a witches enchanted feather headpiece to see familiar blonde curls, and a smile with several gold teeth.
"...Oh crikey." he muttered and buried his face a little too enthusiastically into his Butterbeer, filling his face with foam.
"What?" Harry asked.
Ron wiped his mouth and nodded towards the crowd that was still showering praise on the diminutive blonde.
"...Hermione...fancy getting your own back?" smiled Harry.
Hermione looked up and then to where Harry was nodding just in time to see Rita Skeeter, in a eye-watering shade of fuchsia accepting a Firewhiskey from a less than impressed Rosmerta.
"Thank you m'darlings. It was so very hard to get him just right. I mean, the title of the book says it all really, I mean, was he a scoundrel or was he a saint? The man was just a riddle, wrapped in an enigma! So subtle, really needed unwinding to see him..."
"You wouldn't know subtle if it was on clearance in Twilfit and Tattings!" cried Hermione standing up.
Rita spied out her verbal assassin and saw her.
"Granger isn't it...?" she smirked, pulling out a notepad and a quill. "...How is Hogwarts? Finding it tricky being an 8th year in 7th year? Is it somewhat of a come down after your adventures at the battle of Hogwarts? Still with Wesley?"
"Its Weasley! Alright?" Ron interrupted. "And we don't appreciate the hatchet job you did on Professor Snape either!"
"Hatchet Job?" Rita laughed derisively, echoed by her band of admirers. "Dear boy, I gave you the chance to have your say, but you declined!"
"You only would have twisted our words..." Harry continued. "You will never know what a brave, and private man he was..."
"Then tell me, Harry." she said in what she assumed was a soothing manner.
Harry's colour rose considerably as Ron's ears began to darken to the colour of liver.
Hermione, however, remained as cool and as calm as ever.
"You know what really BUGS me about you Rita?"
Rita's fixed smile shrunk imperceptibly.
"...What's that, Miss. Granger?"
"The fact you CRAWL in here, RATTLING away, SCURRYING around like Queen BEE...When really you are...nothing more than a COCKROACH...Catch my drift?"
There was no mistaking Hermione's meaning, nor Rita's perception of it as her smile wavered into quite a crooked frown.
Rita drew close to Hermione.
"...In my day, people like YOU would have side-shunted into shop work job, I hear the leaky cauldron needs a dish-scrubber..."
"...Oh, I'm sure i'll find a job...just keep your antennae to the ground for me?"
With that, Rita downed her Firewhiskey, plastered on another smile, and left the pub with her entourage in tow.
Hermione sat down and looked at Ron.
"You'll only ever see me do this once...so enjoy it..."
And to Harry and Ron's surprise, Hermione threw the aquamarine coloured book 'Severus Snape: Scoundrel or Saint ' into the roaring fireplace where it was abruptly consumed by the flames.