Okay... This is basically then end of 4x11, but with one alteration which leads to a huge difference that avoids this whole Derek dating rose thing (vomit)

This is a merder happily together story, I know they're going to be together by the end of the season, but I'm still sick of the back and forward relationship so this is to make me feel better until then. That and I'm bored all the time so I now have something to do :p
the other characters will be in it but I have no plan for them so whatever happens, happens.
Enjoy! And please review :)

Everybody stood around the nurse's station, watching intently as the healer stood with her hands over Tuck. They were all there for no other reason than to offer their mutual support for Bailey and her family.

Meredith felt eyes watching her, and saw Derek's form out of the corner of her eye. She wanted to not look, she wanted to be strong and keep her eyes forward, but she could sense the intensity of his gaze and was just planning to glance quickly at him, but once their eyes locked it was like a force that couldn't be broken and they stayed that way for a long moment, just staring.
Meredith was angry and frustrated and wanted to ring his neck, but staring at him now, she only saw love, sadness and a trace of guilt in his eyes.
After what felt like hours staring at each other, Meredith coughed uncomfortably and looked away. Derek looked deflated and sighed, feeling all hope being slowly crushed. But was brought out of his self pitying state when Meredith took a step backwards and came to stand next to him. She reached out and linked their fingers together, they both knew this didn't mean everything was okay, but they had an understanding between them, they were willing to try and get through this.

Slowly the Chief and Attendings started to disperse, as well as Derek who whispered in Meredith's ear he had to check on a patient and he'd page her when he was done.

They were still watching over Bailey and her family when she looked up and approached the door, "it..it doesn't help me to have you all clustered here watching it just doesn't help me. I appreciate that you uh, care, that you're concerned but I... Don't need to watched"

"Miranda! He's choking!" Bailey's husband gasped frantically from the door way

It was a mad rush to get inside the room, and the sounds of tuck choking and Bailey thanking god over and over both jumbled together.

"What are you talking about!?" Tucker asked confused

"No it's good, it means he's fighting the tube, it means he can breathe on his own" Meredith answered in a rush, trying to comfort him, whilst helping Bailey.

Meredith and Cristina sensed this was moment for the family so after they did what they could, they left quietly.

"God, I'm ready for a drink, you coming?" Cristina said rubbing her neck

"Um…" Meredith was cut off when her beeper started shrieking "I might meet you there, I have to do something first" Meredith said, already walking away.

Meredith came to a stop outside his office and took a deep breath before she opened the door.
Derek was standing by his desk already changed into his normal clothes.

"Hey" he said as leaned against his desk, crossing his feet over. Meredith just stared back at him, closing the door.

"Meredith, we need to talk. We can't go any further without talking, and I mean talking, no arguing, because I wasn't lying before. I can't fight with you anymore"

Meredith still said nothing, and just remained staring at Derek, who sighed at her response, or rather lack of.

"I can trust people." she stated forcefully

"Mere..."

"No. It's still the same Derek. You say Meredith and I yell" Derek smiled at the reference to so long ago

"I can trust people. I trust Cristina. I trust Izzie, George, even Alex! I trust them Derek because they haven't done to me, the things you have. I'm not bringing up the Addison argument again, but seriously, you didn't tell me you had a wife, and then you choose her over me! Then you wouldn't let me move on, calling me a whore when I dated somebody. You tell me you can't breathe for me, so I turn to my friends, and then you say I wasn't letting you in?

You tell me break up sex is enough for you, and then you change your mind 2 days later! You… you invite me to go away with you! Then take it back at the end of the day, and now the nurse. You kissed somebody else Derek, when we were trying. You kissed someone while we were trying and then kept it a secret, and you wonder why I can't trust you!" Meredith was breathing heavily and could feel frustration seeping from her pours as she finally let everything come to the surface.

Derek speechless; his mouth opened and closed a few times but he couldn't think of anything to say.

"I want to trust you Derek. I want it all. I want what you said. With you. I want it with you, and I can't even imagine having it with anyone else. But you have to give me reasons to trust you!
And as for building a house in the near future? Derek I was serious about the hundred steps, I mean we don't even live together yet!
I want the dream house, I really do, but it is too soon. I'll learn, and I'll grow and I'll be ready, but I can't do all that as well as worrying about you leaving or kissing scrub nurses when I'm not looking"

"Meredith that's not…"

"I'm not done!" she said almost childishly "I know you can't wait forever, but I'm not asking you too. I…" she took a breath and couldn't meet his eyes "I don't know a lot of things about relationships or how to act, I haven't had the greatest role models…" she said rolling her eyes slightly "but I do know… that I love you. And I want you. Now. I want you and me, as a couple. Now.
I'm not ready for those other things you said, but…I'm ready to be with you now. And the rest… I can work through. And soon enough, I'll be ready for us to settle down, you to build us a house and maybe even for us to have kids, I'll be ready for it all, but for now…can't we just learn how to be a happy couple again? Can we just get through the basics of learning to trust each other and talking and normal couple things before we start building a house?"

They both stood in silence for long time. Meredith was trying to catch her breath while Derek was trying to decide if that had really just happened. Meredith Grey, had completely opened up and told him everything she wanted. She'd called him out on everything he'd done wrong, she had told him she was trying to be ready, she told him she wanted now with him, but what was really evoking the silence in him at this moment was that for the first time in so long he'd heard the words 'I love you' come from her mouth.

"Okay, you could say something, even if its 'go away' because I just talked non stop for a really long time, but if your going to say something like that… well you once told me that just because you have a fight it doesn't mean you stop talking to each other, so there, I've talked. A lot. More than I ever have, and if that's not enough for you, well I have no more. I can't fight with you anymore either" Meredith said nervously. Derek realized if he didn't open his mouth soon she would leave.

"I honestly don't know what to say. I... there's so many things, I… I want to give you reasons to trust me again mere, I just… I'm sorry. For everything and…" he trailed off, literally speechless.

"Did you get the part where I said I wanted to be with you? As in 'a couple'?" she mumbled, causing Derek to break out into the biggest smile he'd experienced all week.

"I did. But I don't want you saying that because you were scared into it. I don't want you realizing two weeks down the track that you can't do this yet. Getting to be with you again, then having it taken away, I can't do that Mere. This is what I meant by putting me out of my misery. To have you, then to not, it hurts. I just... I want you. I don't want some fling with a nurse, or sex and mockery, or any of that. I want to be with you and if we can be, if we can be together and stable, I think whatever else happens, we'll deal with it"

Meredith shook her head, "I'm not going to change my mind Derek"

Meredith was then overcome with a sense of awkwardness. Do they hug? Or kiss? Or does she go home and see him tomorrow? Her questions were answered when he stepped forward and brought her into his arms, hers went around his neck and she buried her face in his chest, this for some reason gave her an overpowering urge to cry. She was tired and relieved and finally happy at the thought of being with him but taking it slow and she couldn't help the tears and loud sniffing. This caused Derek to pull away and look her face

"Mere…?" he asked, worry lacing his voice

"Happy tears" she smiled.

He brushed them away then pulled her back into his embrace.

"I love you"

Their conversation was far from done and it wasn't all smiles and sex to come, they knew that, but what was settled from this conversation was that they were going to get through it all together. There was no more avoiding or lying or fights where they didn't know where they stood afterwards. They were together, and they were going to work through everything, together.

I guess I'm supposed to like the first chapter I write as it's the first impression of your story, but I didn't really like this, I think I rushed it and it was unrealistic but I just want them to be happy now! ; I think it's okay though, because if they had of spoken at the end of 4x11 instead of ignoring each other, then Derek asking out the nurse, then I think it could have been fine and we wouldn't have to endure 5 episodes with them not together and with the nurse in the picture. So maybe I think it's rushed because of what needs to be fixed on the show now? hm, anyway, reviews would be nice to see if I should continue this?