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A/N: Once again, this story was born during very boring Spanish and Geometry periods. And, like all the times before, Kelli you are a great beta, thx a mil! Hope you all like this sweet little Bri&Jus fic!
Once. That was all I wanted, all I asked for. Just once. Not ten, or twenty, or a hundred, hell, not even twice. All I wanted was for Brian to drop the act and just be open, once was all. If he could open up to me, really open up, for once night only, I'd be happy.
I'm nor saying I want some kind of huge drama Kinney declaration of love or anything, not yet at least, but I did want him to be honest with me for once. No barriers, no masks, just the two of us with out feelings and thoughts. I just wanted to know what he truly felt, whether it was thinking that I'm the most annoying drama twat he's ever met or that Mel is the bitchiest dyke that ever lived. I just wanted to know.
Maybe I was sort of lying about the one time thing. I wanted eternity, but I would take anything Brian had to offer. What I really wanted was to wake up to Brian, just Brian and not the façade. I wanted to kiss him good-bye as I go off to school and be able to feel everything he felt in that kiss without him holding it back. I wanted to be there when he got home and be allowed to ease his tension or stress without him pushing me away.
It's not that I wanted to change Brian in any way, shape, or form. I loved him as he was, grumpy moodiness and all. I just wanted him to be open to me without having to pry him open beforehand and get snapped at afterwards. You know, usually it's not that hard to get your lover to open up to you (no pun intended at all) but I guess Brian was different. That's probably why I loved him so much.
He never let anyone's opinion or remarks stop him from what he wanted to do, which is something I admire about him, other than his body of course. But there was a time when he was affects by people, and at that time he had Jack and Joan, neither of which had ever missed the opportunity to tear his spirit into shreds. Now, because of that, he kept away from people, reasoning that if they didn't know the real him, they couldn't tear him apart again.
He didn't tell me all of that (have you ever known Brian Kinney to actually talk about stuff like that? Yeah, didn't think so) but I could tell. Artists have a natural ability to observe things. Well, that, and the fact that Brian has actually allowed me in closer than most people. He didn't completely open of course, but he opened just enough for me to slip in.
A soft groan from beside me on the bed made me turn to look at the beautiful god nestled into navy blue sheets with his head resting on the pillow and chestnut hair falling into sleepy hazel eyes that were gazing at me lying on my back.
"Sunshine, stop thinking so damn much and go to sleep." Brian grumbled before closing his eyes again and laying a graceful arm over my stomach to roll me onto my side, snuggling into his chest as he nuzzles into my neck before falling back asleep with a content sigh.
Snug and flush against his chest I decide to take his advice and let the subject go for tonight. As I drifted off to sleep in the arms of the man I love I knew that, eventually, Brian Kinney would have to collapse and let someone completely in.
And when his walls finally fell and he finally let someone see all of him without anything in the way, laying himself open and vulnerable as he collapsed, I hoped it would be fore me.