Disclaimer: Ranma is Rumiko Takahashi's creation, I don't own him, this is an entire AU, OOC and will be R/OC. Warning/ Contains Yaoi implicit, OC centric. Has nothing to do with InuYasha or any character.
Warning: Highschool AU/ Highschool background/Yaoi, Ranma x OC, OOC, dark themes/FLUFF ahead. Rate T/might go up due to implications.
A/N: OMG I haven't re-read it and probably will not so this is highly unedited, NO BETA, will find grammar mistakes as you will find repetitive spelling, typos and blablabla what more. I was working in a fic that took me weeks but eventually got frustrated and deleted it. This fic was written with a clearer mind and thankfully in one-single day so… here
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Severity.
"The most kind-hearted people are often the most aggressively mistreated ones."
Anonymous.
Youki's POV
As I looked over at Ranma, the beam that broke into my face couldn't be more palpable, I was undeniably such an auspicious person, for the world had prearranged me the opening to save him, and slowly start to repair myself.
It was one of the few times he was up in class, thankfully awake, not quiet interested in what the teacher had to announce per say, he was adamantly lost in thought, surely wandering through the realms of imagination and unease. I turned to look at the teacher and the professor seemed engrossed in elucidating the semester's project.
I surreptitiously waved my hand in his direction, Ranma, being the alert-ridden man he was, immediately understood; that meant; I had his attention in a 100%. I beamed in satisfaction and I didn´t miss the tepid pleasant feeling that hollered in my chest, his blue cobalt eyes lingered on me and maybe he wasn't aware how intensively fixated my gaze was on him.
Finally his eyes fell back on mine and as secretively as I could, my lips pursed together and as noiseless as possible, I blew a kiss to him, his eyes widened to impossible size and as the gesture downed on him he instantly reddened in an intense flush, mouth agape and seemingly indignant, he looked away from me, finally focusing on the teacher, he started notating the instructions the professor gave and explained; I did not miss the sentimental smile that was later drawn on his lips.
It made my stomach coil with seditious butterflies.
After that, my attention was back at the professor and sighed at the work that was coming.
We had a school project to work in.
…
Later the same day, I could not help but snort at his perceptibly blushing form when the teacher announced the couples that would be sharing the semester's project, which included an extended research in the query method and the fearful report of it. Ranma was assigned to work with me and frankly, he could not have colored more intensively.
"Sure, get over here," I drilled as he moved his desk next to mine. We were instructed to join our desks and plan out the whole scheme per teacher's instructions and the likelihood to be together, we agreed.
"Ah….'s fine I guess," Ranma smiled awkwardly after he read one of the instructions, "-Will work in one of the classmates' households, no school assistance's will be admitted, out of the school's schedule."
"What's wrong with that?"
Ranma rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, "I said 's fine, what makes you think there`s something wrong with what I just read."
I rested my chin on one of my hands and smiled meekly at him, "a-ha, then sure you won`t mind if we work in yours."
"… 's okay."
"Sure?" I leaned closer, almost challenging him, he instead backed slightly and a tiny blush spread across his face, anyways, Ranma seemed to grunt in concordance and when I said I didn´t hear him, he assured me, he was sure.
We proceeded in reading the instructions but as the lethargic minutes ticket, Ranma seemed to drop the façade about the whole thing, never demanding to speak about it but I noticed how tense his shoulders got when we got again at the home project work section.
And so I noticed, he was more than disinclined to let me come over his house, he never said so but I knew him all too well. Anyways I could not ask or redeem, but I could explain why I wasn't fond of the idea of working in mine. Knowing how picky he could be about comfortable spaces, mine was sure out of the table.
I could use his usual pickiness on my side. Especially when for me, the conditions were real.
for I thought my house was much less spacious, not to forget it was not the balmy welcoming place you would anticipate, for I could not afford a heater or anything temperate to offer. So after explaining it to him with a somewhat discomfited sigh, he understood and had to blink twice in steep reluctance but nevertheless he didn't ask more about why my house was not an option.
Forthrightly, Ranma seemed very anxious about it.
I sighed. How strange.
Changing subjects,
I stared at my classmates and I still noticed a couple of them staring at Ranma in vertical aversion, I could not hide my own detestation for them, they didn't know him and unquestionably they didn't even try.
I heaved yet another sigh and watched outside the window.
In the last months Ranma and I developed a fairly odd but warm relationship; a warm relationship that showed me affection was ahead of words, sensuality further than sex and unconditionally beyond this earth.
This link we shared, told me that hazardous appearances and hearsays only sheltered a flimsy soul, and a heart in the wills of a healer that could offer some cherishing fondness.
This connection showed me the barriers that Ranma built to himself, in all the years he walked unaided, unaccompanied, and vulnerable and after some amends of factual keenness, he let them unprotected for my eye to glimpse, see and make a decision; to take him or leave him.
I smiled lovingly.
This bond I cherished with passion and tenderness, led my decision to be life and Ranma became my whole existence.
A bond that we wouldn't have known it existed less for my stupid sense of humor and my strange ways to find a companionship in charades of fun.
How it all came to here.
First the inevitable fellowship in the middle of the class, a funny story or two that we would share. At the very beginning I would only throw a gag in a silent classroom and though everyone would laugh, I would turn to my side and he would be moving his head in a lightheartedly disapproval, we came to good terms after it being daily.
As easily, something clicked.
Every day, daytime by daytime, Ranma became a necessary face to see smile. His laugh had this swelling effect in my forlorn and grief-stricken psyche, even if we were strangers, the sole thought of his smile sent ascendancy to my liveliness to toil. As for days can be recalled in a single breath, in a solitary sentence, I could tell that every single day was a whole occurrence to allow and convey.
Ranma´s features seemed perfect when I got enough time to observe him with all my gravity as a tag. Bright and big azure eyes, with a dark aligning to a thick mourning and melancholy, I could tell they touched delicately the meanders of my anguished essence. Easily, Ranma was beautiful.
I kind of wondered why when he seemed to enjoy a joke, more than one person would turn to watch him intently in utter disapproval. This didn't make Ranma stop laughing but I did notice this excluded him from the rest.
I ignored all those tiny things and found with jolliness that he always laughed about my impractical remarks and that he would never say anything distasteful or nasty towards me whenever I spoke. As used as I was to the human kind's disrespect; I kind of waited for a rudeness that never came.
After those innocuous jokes that we shared, I started to notice he would twist his lips in sheer dissatisfaction when the same shithead in class openly insulted me. As for me, honestly I was not the typically tormented kid, I was not hated, though not the most popular, -certainly not, not even appraised-, but had a couple of pals who would laugh with me, Ranma included. Yet the only problem resided in one single guy who would always crack laughs about my sexual orientation.
He would push me on the field at gym class and he would tell other kids, I was the queer not to stay friends with. He would not stop me from liking school anyways, I didn't mind him, not really, but he made sure I knew he existed and for some reason Ranma found it very harrowing.
Ranma's distress became even clearer as days passed by, and as days made us closer.
I often reminded myself, I worked to live, to eat and if one thing I learned, is that people would always try to push you to your limits… so you relinquish, and it doesn't matter how hard you want it, how well is known that you need it, sometimes there were people who would try their best to pull you down, and after some time, I kind of accepted that nobody would ever fight against it.
This guy that tried to bother me, would always hoot and somehow, though I usually didn't mind, make jokes about my appearance, my economic status, my lack of family and my already mentioned sexuality and I reminded myself with woe that I used to turn around and used to try to see if there was at least one person that didn't agree with what he would said, I asked and hoped for at least one, but after numerous times, never I saw a serious expression amongst all the laughs.
That's the reason I gave up in minding.
That is until I met Ranma.
Directly, Ranma seemed very disgruntled with this guy's jokes, he seemed annoyed and somehow, the usual calm sapphire eyes he had, flashed in steep anger.
"Shut the fuck up dickhead, or you'll meet me at lunch"
Was all Ranma said, the whole class went silent. I noticed with a smile that the whole classroom was seriously incensed at Ranma, for being compelling, for being dangerous, hazardous, immutable, rebellious, rampant, belligerent, and unbreakable.
That's how they saw him and whilst I was a stranger; I also thought so.
Our relationship later evolved into something friendlier, as always since third grade, I would climb up the roof of the school to take my lunch which was always in my wrapped up bento, once I noticed another figure at the other side of the roof, not that he noticed me; it was Ranma.
He seemed vanished in thought, beryl eyes downcast, onyx hair partly covering them, the slightest of frowns, almost a depressing frame to behold, yet beautiful unattainable shell to contemplate, he seemed angry.
"We can crawl to a rooftop and inhale the lights below and stars above; as we laugh and forget the world we left on the ground."
He smiled at my overly poetic-acted voice and turned around to see me.
"Who said that? Natsume Sōseki?"
"Victoria Erickson, western writer." I grinned and sat beside him.
"Accurate." He smiled back and justly he didn't seem to be bothered by my sudden presence.
I left minutes to wander between us and noticed that Ranma probably even forgot I was present, he did seem to be again lost in his own world and also I noticed he didn't have any lunch with him.
"You are not going to eat?"
"Ah-" He turned to look at me and after all the dullness he seemed to be oppressed in, the smile he gave me was one of the brightest things I ever saw, I couldn't help but notice the pink color tainting his cheeks, "You will not believe me but I forgot my bento at home."
"Ah no problem, I can give you mine" I smiled at him and handed my bento over, "I'll be skipping P.E. today so probably I will be back at home sooner than you."
His left hand rubbed his neck in reluctance, "Ah I shouldn't, I think I'll have to decline you-"
"Ah come on Ranma, what's the problem" I insisted "Take it."
…
"Maybe I would be more comfortable if we shared it" He muttered, the blush spread all over his ears, I permitted myself to beam.
"Alright, I hope you don't mind but I only took one pair of chopsticks with me, so probably we'll have to share 'em too."
I probably knew well why he blushed to the roots of his hair by this, I feigned ignorance. After all, I disagreed with the scolding gym professor who said to a pair of friends in P.E. that sharing a bottle of water was an indirect kiss and they should probably restrain themselves from doing so. What I disagreed with him was in the fact that 'they shouldn't do it'.
He nodded and after unwrapping the bento, I handed him the chopsticks, "You first."
He shook his head in negative, "No I am not that hungry, I mean you first." Immediately after he said that, his stomach seemed to disagree and made a loud grumble noise of hunger. This guy seemed to surprise me by how much harder he could blush than the last time he did.
I laughed, "Right, your stomach won't suppress that easily."
He then smiled and took the chopsticks from my hands and started eating, when he handed them over I didn't eat that much and handed them over back again, and when we finished he muttered a 'Thank you' and then tiny talks surfaced. We made Inoffensive curious questions and laughed at some things we both found amusing, then we kept quiet for the rest of the lunch time, just enjoying each other's company, I didn't remember the last time I enjoyed someone's companionship without feeling like I had to act stupid to be amongst them.
Ranma had this peaceful vibe he transmitted, the rare persisted in the sorrow his cobalt eyes were sure to hide. I didn't know him much, but I could tell.
Days passed and I would encounter him in the same spot each day at lunch time, with the same sadness that would overcome his presence. I made sure to always interrupt his thoughts with an overly poetic quotation, just twice did he guessed who was that said it. He would smile brightly, but I also notated that with each encounter that passed, he seemed to drop the act and let me see how sad he felt; for he didn't smile anymore.
At first I thought he wasn't comfortable with my presence anymore, but when I once came late to the roof, he seemed relieved when he saw me and said he almost thought I grew tired of him, and then it clicked on me. He didn't smile anymore because maybe… he trusted me.
The sole thought made me smile and twist all night.
Another thing I considered is that he never brought his bento with him; he would always blush and say he always forgot it at home, I would not doubt and share mine and after days of doing it; he seemed more comfortable in accepting it as a form of friendship, the blush would not disappear of course.
One of those days, when I was at home and I was preparing everything for school, I had this cozy feeling in my belly when I thought about him and I found myself wondering what would he like to eat, I thought about some Karaage, I remembered he muttered he liked the Kamaboko and he said he didn't like classic Kinpira Gobo, so probably I was sure what would make him happy.
Also I evaluated that what he was eating from my bento was not enough for someone his height, weight and size and since he always forgot his bento and shared mine, why not give him full, so I bought a second bento box, a new furoshiki bag and a thermo mug for him. I would make sure his portion was doubling mine and I would make sure no Kinpira Gobo was included in his lunch, even if it took me twice as time to think what would be the best complement in his bento box.
The first time I handed him the wrapped up furoshiki, he did the only thing he could not control; he blushed.
Hard.
His left hand rubbed the back of his neck and he smiled broadly, maybe in nervousness. "Ah no- Youki, I can't accept this, I can't be a burden fo-"
"It has Kamaboko too"
His smile became shy and he took the furoshiki and chopsticks from my hands and mumbled a "thank you so much." I happened to feel these strange lukewarm butterflies all over my belly when he mumbled it was delicious and gave me another thank you.
By that time, I knew it was a time thing that he would get comfortable taking these things from me. I didn't know why, but I wanted him to be comfortable around me.
Days passed and we would always climb up the roof to eat together, he was always thankful and once he said he didn't know how to pay me back, I blame myself for thinking to myself; his smile was more than enough, but I didn't want to scare him off, plus I knew he was not ignorant to my sexual orientation and judging by how cruel kids could be about it, I wouldn't risk to lose this slow built- dare I say- friendship.
However, he apologized and said if he had the money, he would pay me but before he could finish, my hand rested on top of his shoulder and with a friendly squeeze, he understood; I didn't care about money or any kind of devolution and it was fine that way.
Of course Ranma as always; blushed.
…
The school was oblivious at our friendly encounters, if not, rumors would have spread quicker than lightning, adding the fact that I was knowingly gay, people would have started rumors about Ranma being gay too. I guessed nobody –nor would Ranma- like to be in the middle of some roaring gossip of sexual oriented material, so I blessed God.
Nobody knew and apparently, nobody cared and there was no way they could make Ranma angry at me for taking him inside a gossip, after all, Ranma seemed less than interested in sharing anything about his life.
Slowly and after some days of sharing our lunch time, I started to coax Ranma to speak, a little bit at least. It was not that he was the usual quiet boy, but he seemingly didn't speak to nobody in school, like if he didn't mind being there, like if there was a burden that didn't let him think about none other than that.
The bluntness of the sorrow he was probably experiencing was what scared me. Ranma just would not mention it, but his eyes tended to be darker each passing day, his lips would not quirk up in that ten thousand bolts smile that I would die to admire and frankly, it was rather difficult to see him pummeling down this hard.
I often thought about him, after all if it wasn't for me maybe Ranma would go on in School like an unnoticed and loathed ghost; maybe some fearsome banshee…. And so was I the dare devil to speak with him, thought that I often considered more than ridiculous, Ranma was certainly mild for me.
I didn't understand the level of cruelty some people could pent up. Ranma barely spoke or lent attention to anyone and if he responded aggressively, he was probably teased way too much. This people didn't understand that Ranma's world was out of the classroom and that he doubtless had tribulations to deal with rather than be loved between our classmates.
For all I noticed, I gave more importance to Ranma's reputation in classroom than he did. Ranma only stood quiet, looking thoughtful, rather depressed. Dark blue eyes downcast by heavy dark eyelashes to middle mast, tormented in the entire elegiac and lamenting meaning; Ranma became the quintessence and epitome of grief-striking mourning in the time I got to know him.
But I just irked to understand; to understand him.
…
Soon I was acknowledged that there was another factor that secluded Ranma from the rest, his anger.
I heard things about him, not the kind, positive or upbeat matters. My classmates alleged his fury could obliterate an entire classroom, hell- the entire school if he fell into the hysteria of wrath. But I always retorted that if he did or would, then probably you bothered him as much as the entire school could worth.
I would be emphatic to say that Ranma acted like anyone with an already wasted endurance and patience towards some envious shit-heads would. They would only snap that he was a futile brute, I would retort he was just stronger than the rest and that's what incensed the guy's in school, the lack of stability they could have in front of him, the lack of power and of course the lack of strength.
In rejoinder to me, most of my classmates would dismiss my truthful clarification; for they knew what they said and did to Ranma.
People wouldn't tire out to say he was dangerous, guys said he was an oppressor and girls said he was a tyrant, openly, those remarks did uptight me much to my foreboding.
More than I am willing to admit.
Were they speaking about Ranma? The guy who sat alone in the roof not to bother anyone? Ranma, the guy who would blush at the slightest of friendly approaches? Ranma who could not mutter anything nice without stuttering? Ranma, who asked me to show him how to wrap a bento in furoshiki?
I cringed at yet another negative comment, "He is like an animal". They described a monster; they were unable to describe my Ranma.
"Right, you don't know him." I would say, tired of their accusations and most of the times, I would leave.
I knew he had his anger issues, there were days that I would hand him his bento and he would take more than 15 minutes to take it, I would ask why, and he would simply not speak. Sometimes he would not look at me at all, occasionally I would push him to his limits and just sometimes he would yell at me and say he had had enough of my questioning, or he would ask me please stop asking, but what always made me happy is that he would always eat.
There was a time I heard this commotion in the gym class, I heard people yelling obscenities about Ranma, calling him rude names, I cringed yet again. I entered and just I happened to spot Ranma, downcast, with angered eyes, the whole class was still commenting about his brutality and I also spotted at the gym teacher yelling, at him.
He didn't say anything, I didn't ask to my classmates what was wrong, with whom did he fight with, all I knew is that there were two guys in the bathroom halls washing the blood off their noses and that in the gym class, there was the teacher yelling at Ranma.
That day at lunch time, he seemed angrier than other days, but also he seemed more depressed than usual. I left both bentos at his side and without asking, I crawled until I was in front of him. He watched me intently with fearful eyes, almost scared about what I would say; maybe he thought I would insult him like my classmates did.
My hand slowly ascended until my fingertips touched the side of his cheek, my heart was beating faster as I permitted my fingers to touch more skin, I leaned slowly to him until our foreheads touched, his breath mingled with mine, and the warmth he radiated ghosted over my face, I smiled and closed my eyes.
"You don't need to agonize over the abhorrence other people will echo, for they can't thrive and must see you plunge, but that's only because they think you are enhanced over their own stoppage. That's envy"
I ran my fingers tips over his soft lips, "That's coveting in all its perilous state, otherworldly, that's jealousy for the unreachable hence the unattainable strength; remember they can't wish to suddenly posses it. Strength and fortitude you have grown into, the same virtue many man lack."
I continued with a whisper against his mouth, "and they know it very well."
Ranma blinked away some unshed tears as he wrapped his arms around my waist, he then gave me a very faint smile, "Who said that?"
"Youki did." I mumbled and finished, "learning to ignore is one of the greatest paths to get inner peace." I tilted my head until our noses touched and I watched as he slowly closed his beryl eyes.
"Well that is poetic." He muttered.
"Reality and factual terms can also be poetic you know?"
The warmth I was indulged in was the most pleasing feeling I had ever felt in my entire existence, the manly cinnamon aroma enticed my senses, I wanted this, but I didn't know if he was ready, for all I knew; Ranma was broken, badly broken and I didn't even know why.
My other hand that was not caressing his cheek came at the back of his neck to get him closer.
As slow and kind as I could, my lips pressed at the corner of his mouth, shivers ran down my spine alongside the balmy electricity that coiled at my belly, it felt lyrically ethereal. I felt the smoothness and warmth that awaited me if I dared to kiss his lips and his hands felt hot as they softly caressed my waist in anticipation, he sighed in velvet thrill and yanked my shirt to get closer, almost begging me to consummate that one wanted and desired kiss, but I would not push his fragilities to get him closer, so my lips unglued were they first touched, this was the closest I ever had to a first kiss and honestly it felt perfect.
I settled distance between us and once my breathing got back to normal, I managed to beam at him, a smile he only returned with his bright cerulean eyes. I could not ignore the slight disappointment he had written in those alluring tale-teller eyes, and maybe, just maybe… just as me; he wanted that kiss as badly.
"Tease" He mumbled with a frown and a bright blush that went all over his ears, I laughed, crawled back at my place and handed the forgotten bento over.
That's how our relationship began to bloom in something further than a simple friendship, still merely it but at the same time, that day we crossed a path… a passageway that was sure to go railroad to what my heart ached, just that we both weren't sure how to make it deeper, and the cheerless part is that we wanted to, as bad as it could get.
All we did was carve up some time together, eating, laughing, and watching the forlorn skies. Draping some snobbery to keep our feelings quiet and at ease and somehow I thought he needed it.
Sometimes we would speak, and sometimes we would remain quiet, some days I would ask if he was fine, depending on his mood, he would say he was fine or he would not answer.
After half a year of being his companionship, I learned that a very suitable way to sooth him without speaking or asking, was simply taking his hand in mine. At first he blushed and seemed to forget whatever problem he had, and after he didn't let go, I knew it was fine to do it whenever he was downcast and why not, the rare days he was cheerfully fine.
There were special days were I would be the one blushing at his first move, he would take my hand in his, and he would seem more than interested in inspecting it, he would softly squeeze it, he would touch each of my fingers and he would coax my hand to watch it carefully as if there was something special about it.
"I like your hand." He mumbled once, not even looking at me, I guess he didn't know the effect it had on me, and I found myself feeling shy towards his gaze, but nonetheless I did not push him away, I would never push him away.
Days seemed to pass, my days at home were boring and because of Ranma, I was willing to go everyday at school, without missing one single day and without denying or playing friendship cards I resolved, I was head over hills for him.
And after all, I was not sure if he knew it.
The classrooms that I attended were rather dull and boring because in 2 of 5 I didn't share a classroom with him, in the ones I did, I found myself eager to attend and I would always save a spot for him, sometimes I worried for being too clingy and honestly I didn't know how he felt about this and about me, if he saw this as a friendship with a gay guy or if he saw this the way I wanted, as a blossoming love.
But truly, Ranma didn't seem to be bothered, though his facial expression was always a bit sad, he always managed to bring himself to smile at me. I also noticed that when he perceived my mood as solemn or serious he would be persistent in making me laugh, maybe he wasn't used in seeing me serious and probably I was just thinking blankly for it to happen.
In my head, the term I would use for him was honestly closer to boyfriend than a simple friend.
After all I did accept my inevitable crush for him already; even if it was only the walls of my heart witnessing it, I was blissful and happy just with the gift that his sole company brought me.
I guess I exuded my own ecstasy and lovesick harmony, alas my face -when I was around him, - could not pretend, could not even veil or conceal… Ranma was clearly the raison d'être I still attended school and the only reason I believed in the tomorrows, even if it rained.
It didn't matter how much I wanted to avoid it, gossips didn't make a wait, and soon girls would send me flashing stares at my closeness to the 'animal' that was Ranma, I would simply ignore, discount or disregard them, as I did with almost everything that came from people about Ranma.
almost.
There was a certain chitchat that I could not overlook; some said 'the bull of Furioma School' was stupidly in love.
What?
I couldn't help but feel my heart beating painfully fast, for all I knew, these girls treated him like a dangerous animal rather than the warm human being I knew he was. My heart could not stand the second thought of him with someone else.
I approached the girls who were gossiping and I mildly asked, what they were speaking about, as bad-mannered and boorish as those girls could be, they stared at each other in mockery and mumbled something I couldn't quite catch and then they started laughing maniacally, probably about me.
I raised an eyebrow in genuine doubt, for I had no idea why would they be laughing at. I felt someone tugging at the back of my collarbone and yanked me violently backwards. I jolted at the surprise.
"Listen here dork, last time I said shit about you, the fucking bull cuffed his fist all over my rear and guess what, I'll return the favor."
And this guy, the only guy who would actually bother in hating me since I first entered school essentially made me notice him one more time, and as if it was not enough; his grunts about his displeasure with Ranma made my eyes widen.
I understood, because it clicked on me, everything suddenly made sense; the late gym class, that time my classmates were pointing daggers, those invectives at Ranma, the teacher yelling and anxiously scolding, bloodied classmates in the bathroom halls, the gossips… Ranma's love interest… me.
I couldn't help myself from grinning broadly, "You think this shit is funny?"
Still I knew what was coming, I closed my eyes and the punch was thunderously heard, the sound of teeth breaking, and the sharp gasp of air stolen from painful lungs made clear it was a hard snap, the only thing was that it was not from me.
I opened my eyes and watched the guy flying to the other end of the class, I blinked once, twice and rapidly, I touched my face to make sure I was indeed alive. Suddenly, I felt a strong arm encircling my waist, I looked up at my savior and my heart warmed, as always, Ranma's determined eyes sent shivers down my spine.
"You fine?" he asked without focusing on me.
I nodded absent-mindedly and felt my face heating up at our proximity, the hard planes from his built body were warmly pressed against the daintiness of mine, and it downed on me the physical perfection and flawlessness Ranma obliviously had. Ranma's eyes were still focused in that guy's shrieking form.
"Next time, I'll kill you."
Then his angry eyes focused on me and I panicked, I must have picked on Ranma's habit of blushing because at that time, was all I could do.
"T-thank you." I muttered and my hands gripped the ends of his sleeves in vertical edginess.
"… 's okay"
I gulped, we were severely close but as if being pressed against the other wasn't that big of a deal, Ranma's eyes focused again on the defeated guy and yelled, "If you say shit to any teacher, I'll follow you up to your house, and I will fucking kill you."
The guy made an understanding groan and blacked out.
Ranma's eyes were back to me and it was when he suddenly noticed my hands were glued to his biceps in curious determination and the proximity of our bodies downed on him, that he reddened. Finally downing back to earth, he seemed to release his tight grip on my waist and the pink shade was back on his cheeks. I also stopped my curious hands from wandering but couldn't avoid smiling broadly at him.
"L-lets go to the roof, shall we?" The heroic angry form was gone to be replaced by the one I knew and cherished: the stuttering and blushing Ranma, I came to love and adore.
...
As I bit my pencil, all the memories stopped flowing once the teacher announced a second time the project couples and I smiled.
That's how Ranma and I came to our current terms, maybe we were one step ahead of friendship because our hands would tangle more often than not, our eyes would wonder more time than necessary and our projects together made us flush more than expected, sure, we never spoke about anything romantic and maybe we weren't ready to accept or commit, but I knew his heartbeat got incredibly fast when his name spilled out of my tongue, whenever the Science Laboratory teacher asked us to make our own couples to test the tubes and our proximity would insight, just as my heart did.
After people were acknowledged about Ranma's rusted and tarnished feelings for whoever that threatened me or ragged him too much, Our relationship knew the daylight pole, when he was with me people would not stare at us, gossips knew their end, nobody would bother me anymore, and no more homophobic jokes would be thrown at me, nor him, it seemed as if our proximity was almost legal.
All this of course, if he was around… still rightfully speaking, as I already said in multiple times, I couldn't mind them less.
…
Anyways, this futility gave us chance to join whenever announced and what I cherished about it is that people kind of expected my tailing behind him and his ever so trustful smile directed only and uniquely to me.
I exhaled noisily as my hands trapped my rebellious black hair in a rubber band-pony tail.
Our relationship had many sides to be looked at, the school dealings, people's coercion and the sentenced stern sorrow he had often written on his face but also the progresses we had made, the kindness, the tenderness and the friendship, the good vital sides that I learned to treasure with my entire existence.
All this never took away the fact, that there was something amiss with him, there was this overwhelming sadness he found solace in and Ranma's face would be almost permanently stuck in that scorn of pure sorrow.
I knew he let me approach him, he had let me get closer than the rest of the world, but I needed him out of that shell of unhappiness that had started to shatter me and that also broke from elucidating so constantly within those desolated navy eyes.
The worst part is that Ranma would not converse about anything related to his sadness, there were days Ranma's eyes would be dim with a bottomless outlook of obscurity that I could not avoid, those days, my body would crawl next to him and I would let my face to be buried in the warmth that was his neck, I would offer comfort and I knew that no words would help.
More than often tiny soft kisses would be pressed against his cheek and more than one time my hand would slip through his raven hairs as his arms wrapped feebly around my waist, weakly enough to be soft; save for the fact that somehow he would not let go of me that easily, as if he needed something, but couldn't quite say it.
Ranma would remain calm and silent throughout the school days, spacing out, sleeping maybe too much in the middle of them and later, after a teacher handing me his grades because "he couldn't find Ranma" I found out that the subjects he was doing great were those which he shared with me, of course, if he slept on me and we were working together, I would not have a problem and would finish his part, or simply give him my test and finish his, but as for his other subjects, people would simply not help, would call the teacher and earn him detention which he never complied, or they would be rude and they usually excluded him.
In response, Ranma was not the guy people tended to speak about. Sure Ranma exploted when he had enough but more than frequently he did not. What I noticed is that when teachers announced him to work with anyone else that was not me, the girl or guy in question would endlessly protest about working with "Saotome" and Ranma- far from what everybody tended to say- never retorted or mocked, nor he did anything offensive, he just twisted his lips in doubt and he would stay quiet.
With the people that treated him like that, he would make his best to work and though his eyes would remain sleepy, he would finish. In those occasions I would stand up and direct myself to his desk and I would overlook if the girl/guy that was assigned to work with him watched me intently, I would gently squeeze Ranma's hand and ask if he needed my help.
More than regularly, he would smile worriedly and mumble he indeed needed my aid to finish or to understand or simply his tired eyes would ask my whole backing. I would come to terms with his couple, so his couple would to let him do whatever Ranma wanted -sleep- without involving the professor as soon as I gave the complete work.
Thankfully, Ranma not joining me in a work or a class wasn't that repeatedly or habitual, of course if it happened; it was obviously against our will, for me he was my first option in all and I was sure I was his. Thankfully some teachers were fond of Ranma's quiet stance, so to help him, they let him work with me, for they knew that he was only comfortable if he got alongside me, and in more than 96% of the times, he did.
Far from what everyone said, Ranma even though he possessed the strength, wasn't the one to go intimidating whoever that was rude with him, in many occasions he preferred to be unseen and unnoticed.
And I admired that very much.
Nobody wanted to work with Ranma, and honestly, I didn't understand why. Sure he slept in many of the assigned works, but there were days, there were good days where he would be very cooperative and would help in everything needed, even showing interest in biochemical reactions, Ranma would comply gladly with me, if I asked.
I knew that if Ranma didn't help me, it wasn't because he was lazy or he didn't care, it was because he would always be strangely tired and if I could do the work by my own, why wouldn't I get him those thirty minutes of sleep. Honestly, it looked like he needed them.
There was this time, he pulled his desk right beside mine, we were supposed to finish some grammar sentences together; the English teacher was gone and left us alone. The whole classroom was filled with laughs and comments. I was right at the corner with him, beside a wide open window.
I watched outside the window as the Sakura's bloomed and sighed, lost in thought. I heard some people throwing jokes about us, of course, Ranma was fast asleep, his cheek was against the wood desk and by the lack of trust towards our classmates; his face was in my direction. My fingers were massaging his black tresses and the back of his neck.
The wind that entered from the window was more than comforting; it brought back and forth his addictive scent.
My classmates wouldn't dare to say a thing if Ranma was awake but honestly I didn't mind them. The wind felt amazing and Ranma looked adorable, that's all I could think about.
Still, I didn't need anyone's affection or attention, but I wanted them to leave Ranma alone. So as habitual, I chose to ignore them all. For more than a second, they all disappeared from my world.
My fingers moved soothingly over his neck and shoulders, realizing with surprise that Ranma was indeed very much stressed, the hardened muscles wouldn't give up under my ministrations and I felt a sprinkle of worrisome at the pitch of my stomach. What was getting him so stressed? So tired? So sad?
I heard him sigh in pleasure and I blushed warmly, my hands soothed his back and then they were back at his black braided hair. If Ranma was a cat I bet he would purr.
I remembered just half an hour ago, he commented he felt sleepy, I suggested him to sleep since the teacher was gone; he asked if I was sure and I nodded, as soon as he started nodding off, my hands started to wander through his raven locks of hair, thing that made him sleep almost immediately.
Just as I thought over it and smiled, my hand ran softly over the back of his neck and accidentally discovered a bit of skin, my eyes widened curiously and I got closer. Making sure nobody was watching us, I unveiled more skin. I felt a pang of anxiety and torment in my belly, for the skin that I unveiled was purple-red colored.
I gasped silently.
Those brutal bruises, violent and vicious scatters of purplish, black and green spits of distorted grazes that tainted an otherwise perfect light-honeyed skin made my heart splinter violently, aggressive dark red lacerations, slits and cuts that seemed so far away from any educational lesson that I permitted myself to tremble; I didn't know why they started to break through my own body.
"Oh my lord…"
I upheld my stare and made sure again that my classmates were not watching me. My hands became cold buckets of shaking ice as I dared to touch a very fresh-looking gash. My finger felt the tender bloodied skin trembling in slight soreness as I applied soft pressure and much to my distress, Ranma sighed in pain.
My respiration became uneven as I tried to find the ending line of one of the biggest lashes he had in his back, I found none. Tears of impotence, anger and hurt made their way to my eyes. I didn't let them spill, my classmates would have mocked.
The same paranoia I had for the sturdy hate my classmates held for him, made me check again if I wasn't target of any unwanted attention, thankfully I was not. I swallowed thick saliva as I analyzed the reason why he always brought a black sweater and dark clothes to school; bloodied slits would had been obvious against light cloth, especially if you don't give those lacerations time to at least dry up. Many of them were fresher than I would like to know.
I veiled his wounds up so nobody noticed it and swallowed hard again.
"What are you going through Ranma?" I whispered in havoc as he parted his lips to sigh contentedly. My chest constricted at each passing second, it was so easy to make him feel safe, so easy to give him two minutes of peace and serenity, still here he laid, between the harms of god-knows what and the filthy treatment he received from his classmates, between all the hurtful accusing huffs and my hands that longed to caress his most tender and delicate wounds.
Each garbling second, my detestation for the world increased, for it had tried to dive Ranma's might downwards, and yet he had fight to feel fine, to assure continuity and to give himself the chance to let me get closer. His faith in humanity's compassion was not gone and he still wanted it, for I knew he needed me as much as I needed him.
Next to a wraithlike murky feeling, came rampant an overwhelming heartache, I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes. The lump in my throat threatening to free my internal soreness, I tried to unwind.
I let the minutes to pass as I tried to digest the thought of someone harming him like that. The revolving thought made my stomach churn pessimistically.
I approached my face to his neck and as soft as I could manage, my lips pressed against it, making him sigh again and I couldn't help but hug his sleeping form. Two more kisses were given on his cheek and on the back of his neck, wishing they could make all better, wishing they could heal him whole.
I didn't know what caused those purplish bruises, who caused those cruel gashes, and even after I reminded myself that he was a martial artist and that he could have gotten them in any training, I am not and I was not stupid, I could try to avoid the thought, think it could be normal for a fighter, but something inside me told me in screams that his darkened contusions were strictly aligned with his oppressive and tyrannical sadness.
I closed my eyes and thought a way to find out, to ask him, to help him, I found none.
To avoid calling any useless attention, I backed off his personal space and kept in my original place, after swallowing hard yet again, I tried to keep my outburst at rest, I focused my eyes on his peaceful face, my free hand supported my cheek and my other hand started caressing Ranma's soft hair again, just that I was gentler than before.
The tears threatened to fall again so I breathed in and out, my eyes wandered outside the window for any kind of distraction.
As I watched how the clouds became darker, I thought about Ranma once again. The teachers obliged us to bring umbrellas, because more than not, it rained around the closing hour. I firstly thought about how thankful I was that lunch times were always with a bright sun up there, but then also recalled how often teachers called Ranma's attention because he never brought any umbrellas with him.
I gave him one, on more than three occasions and later he would always place his hand at the back of his neck and smile guiltily claiming to have accidentally broken them when arrived home. I of course would never get upset over this. But after some time, he refused to accept any other umbrella from me. And when Ranma refused, he made it to be definite.
Of course he would get sick the next day, but he would come to school anyways. Even after the dangerous fevers he would catch, he was always present. Those days where he would come sick, I would prepare special lunches to get him better but most of the times, he would only ask me to let him sleep on my legs, and so I did. He didn't eat much when sick and seemed satisfied just with the knowledge that I would caress his hair as much as he wanted.
I now know that maybe whoever that lived with him had cero to none consideration towards him and that sole bitter thought, made everything even more difficult to digest. He never mentioned anything related to it but now that I got to see it, when the nurse had offered to call his parents because "Ranma, honey, you look so pale, you have fever, you just vomited twice" Ranma would always refuse, and would always ask the nurse to let me stay with him in the nursery room until the day ended, with concern and empathy the nurse would agree.
"Why didn't I notice before…" I mumbled as my finger caressed his cheek and moved back to his raven hairs. I wondered about the lack of kindness and reliance all people actually had with him… I wondered… I actually wondered if he had harms at home, and honestly I couldn't even wonder, for my heart knew the exact answer, still I just wanted to confirm that he was not sleeping enough, that he was not being treated how he deserved, so I could have an excuse to take him away from that hellish place.
Probably I knew it wasn't just an excuse and the simple thought, sent aggressive curls of depression in my stomach.
I didn't know what to do, and seriously, I could not keep all this quiet and undiscovered. For his silence could have been eternal if I wasn't that curious. He might have never told me, I understood him though, this was so unfair, unmerited and it was far from pitiless, it was brutal.
He didn't deserve any level of cruelty, he didn't deserve the world's nastiness, he didn't for lord's mercy… he did not.
My fingers traced the smooth line of his lips, slipping slowly to the warmth of his cheek, the tears finally spilled from my eyes invectively incapable of containing from my internal battle of convincing myself he was fine and that for whoever that could listen to me in the skies, please liberate him from the hell he is submerged in, please clemency, have mercy, he is not that strong.
I hugged his sleeping form and my tears were subdued unconsciously by his black sweater, he was so warm yet the thought of his pain made me feel so cold.
I didn't understand who could be that wicked and spiteful with someone like him.
And then I turned to see my classmates and remembered they could. I cursed them; they were lost in their world of joy and stupidity, drowned in the vindictiveness that ignorance could bath you with. I wiped the tears off my face again, I prayed for another world, a world where I could see him smile as when he faked, a world where he could work in chemical reactions as much as he wanted without feeling tired, without being sleepy, a place where we could hold hands without giving a damn, a world where I could finally kiss him without feeling he was too feeble to touch. Without feeling he could break at any time.
A world that he could feel genuinely happy.
I wished, I wished Ranma could disappear alongside me, just the both of us.
Forever.
If a person flinches at the slightest of touches, it's because someone else's hand wasn't too gentle once, if a person distrusts your intentions, it is because someone once lied to them. If a person lies, it is because they are insecure about their truths, if a person won't share their secrets, it's because someone betrayed their confidence already, behind every intricate and angry person there is a sad spirit that's tired of being broken.
Anonymous
OOOOO