The Long Run: The Documentation of Nefarious Rehearsal Sessions The Long Run: The Documentation of Nefarious Rehearsal Sessions
By
Malkmusian
Chapter One: Lammy's Side of the Story
The lamb, who was about 18 years old and a senior in high school, was lying down on her bed, listening to the melodies of a certain Donald Glen Vliet of Arcata, California, about 100 miles from her hometown, Rodneytown. She was listening to his album "Lick My Decals Off, Baby", which tends to be his "best" and "overrated" album according to critics and music lovers alike. She had been a fan of Donald's music for almost her entire life, starting when she was three years old.
When she was three years old, she was a typical egocentric diagnosed child, but her father dismissed it as typical lamb behavior, as lambs were quiet most of the time. Her mother knew something was wrong with her, but they dare didn't take her to the doctor. They knew that she would scream and pitch a fit at the doctor. She didn't even look at her parents, much less the doctor. All that changed after a baptismal ceremony when her dad's friend, Robert Plant, came over with some useless records of Donald's music and put them in the daughter's room. The daughter was asleep, after pitching a fit at the baptismal ceremony, but she woke up when he exited the room. She wobbled to the records, grabbed out one that had a funny looking fish man on it with the words "Trout Mask Replica" typed in Times Roman font, and removed everyone of its contents. Out came two records, as it was a double album, that weren't played but at least once. She found a record player in the corner of the room and put one of the records on. Suddenly, some very bad-sounding-and-loud sounds played through the speakers. Her mind suddenly switched as well. She didn't have to rely on others anymore. She could speak.
She yelled, "Uncle Robert! Come in here! The sounds cured me!"
From the other side of the house, Robert was drinking a pint of Guinness when he heard the yell from the daughter. He ran to her room and saw her listening to the music, somehow understanding it on her first listen in her lifetime.
He said to her, "Lammy! How'd you know the records were in your room?"
Lammy replied, "I don't know. I regained my speaking skills that I lost during my second year. I can now look at you."
Robert was amazed. Not only did Lammy convert from retard to smarter-than-average kid that had an extreme love for music, he had found a cure for mental retardation. He thought about marketing it, but he thought about the author of this fanfiction and didn't like that concept. He left it a secret.
Soon, her dad gained notice of this and let Lammy keep the records for personal listening. Since those records were in print at that time on LP, Robert got more LPs and forgot to contact his friend about it. The town forgot Lammy was retarded and even found out that she wasn't retarded anymore, even if she listened to her records everyday or if she didn't listen to them for many, many years.
Lammy, at age 5, came back from school, being teased as the "lamb that loved that weirdo who made some guy use profanity on SNL because he performed so 'terrible'". She ran to her room, where she saw the Captain Beefheart records in front of her. She picked out a record she had never played before. It was a white record with her favorite band standing at a planetarium, while the band's name was at the top. It was all coated in a clear sleeve that said "Clear Spot". She got out the record, put it on, and was instantly enthralled to the melodies of the even more listenable Magic Band, especially dancing to the title track, a song about Indian murders and running to find a clear spot just to not get hit.
Her father ran in and said, "You didn't play this record before. Are you moving backwards in social skills and language?"
Lammy was silent for a second and said, "Daddy, it's still making me normal. In fact, if I can, I can listen to this just once a decade and I'll still be normal."
Her father was confused. This music wasn't normal Magic Band material, but it was still keeping Lammy extremely normal.
He said, "Have you ever wanted to play those songs he makes?"
Lammy nodded her head yes and they ran outside the house to go to the music store down the street.
Inside, Fleaswallow, the proprietor of the business, was running the counter and organizing the guitars and maracas in order when, out of nowhere, the Pages walked in.
He said to Lammy's father, "Hello, Mr. Page. It's a pleasure to meet you. What would you like to buy?"
Lammy's father replied, "I'd like to get a good acoustic/electric for my daughter. I bet she doesn't need lessons, but she hasn't played. She's been listening to Captain Beefheart for the past two years and it's been driving her crazy just to learn all of those notes."
Fleaswallow grabbed a Chet Atkins-model guitar from the shelf and handed it to Lammy's dad. He paid it and they walked back to the house.
Inside the house, Lammy was messing with the acoustic/electric, trying to play it with her right hand. Everytime, the fingers kept messing up. She was predominantly left-handed.
Her dad walked in and said, "So you're left-handed, eh? Well, let me restring that guitar for you."
He grabbed the guitar and restrung it to a left-handed position. She grabbed it and still played a bit bad on it. He didn't mind. He would see his daughter improve.
Well, Jimmy Page was right. Lammy improved over the next few years, learning the easier songs first ("Her Eyes Are A Blue Million Miles"; "Upon the My-Oh-My"; "Tropical Hot Dog Night") while progressing to the intermediate songs next ("Ella Guru"; "Electricity"; "Ah Feel Like Ahcid") and finally ending up over at the extremely hard songs soon after ("Wild Life"; "Big Eyed Beans From Venus"; "Owed T'Alex"). She kept practicing until she was proficient at the guitar, strumming it and plucking it with ease…and the year after that, she witnessed the release of the Beefheart collection onto CD. She was 10.
She was excelling in school, even making a few friends, but always losing them when she mentioned that she loved this specific artist she loved. As a consequence, she developed ridiculously low self-esteem, losing all faith in everything, except for her music, her studies, and her guitar. Soon, she had degressed to the point where she can't do normal life without thinking of her guitar.
That was...until 11th grade…
She had entered the grade with dignity and respect, but she was put into Advanced Chemistry with two unlikely lab partners with a similar taste in music. One was a blue cat with a yellow curl of hair that still believed that she could dress like she was in the 1970s, so she had on a sleeveless blue shirt with a star in the middle, some bell-bottom jeans, and platform shoes. The other girl next to her was a Chinese mouse with a dynamite stick sticking out of its head and wearing a red dress with red flip-flop sandals on her feet.
Lammy hit her head on the table and thought, "Oh, dear. Help me. How am I to know them?"
The blue cat, who was named Katy, tapped Lammy on the shoulder and said, "Hey, friend. What's wrong?"
Lammy grumbled, "Nothing."
Katy sighed and then said, "Friend, I know something's wrong. Now tell me."
Lammy sighed and replied, "Okay, 'friend'. I'm not your friend yet, but I would like to be if you answer this certain question: Do you like Captain Beefheart?"
Katy happily replied, "Clear Spot was a good album, but I don't listen to anything that was released before 1970. Sorry if I haven't listened to your favorite, which is that fish album people talk about."
Lammy then said, "Well, I like 'Lick My Decals Off' better. By the way, I'm Lammy, last name Page."
Katy replied, "I see. My name's Katy, last name Kat. I think I'm in love with my friend."
Lammy said, "What friend? Me? I'm not a lesbian!"
The Chinese mouse interrupted in a conversation of squeaks. Lammy was confused.
She said to the mouse, "If you know Katy so well, is she a lesbian? How can I understand you? All you do is go 'squeak, squeak, squeak'!!"
The Chinese mouse slapped Lammy on the face and said in her language, "(Trust me, Lammy. I'm positive that Katy is not a lesbian. Oh, and by the way, my name is Ma-san. My family runs the Chinese pharmacy downtown. Oh, and if you don't know why you understand my language, here's two words: Ed Marimba.)"
Lammy now had it. She met somebody who somehow used the drummer of the Magic Band in a reference to translating her language, she had met one who might be obsessed with drumming…and ran that Chinese pharmacy that was sometimes charged for selling marijuana to Bob Dylan and the occupants of the Yellow Submarine in 1964.
Katy said to Lammy, "Lammy, I'm not a lesbian…you must have no friends. You must be anti-social."
Lammy sighed and started to write another song. Katy tried to take a peek into what she was writing, but Lammy squirmed and ran out of the classroom. Ma-san shrugged her shoulders and got out her notebook. She grabbed her pencil and started to draw herself killing a banshee using her drumming skills.
Lammy ran inside the girl's bathroom and from there, got out her guitar, a 1959 Fender Mustang. She locked herself in a stall and started to play from there, but a student came in and heard these guitar sounds coming from a bathroom stall.
She said, "Hey, girl! I didn't know you played the guitar!"
Lammy lied, "Um…that wasn't me," and ran out of the stall, guitar in her hand.
The student looked at her and said, "What's with her?"
Lammy ran to another girl's room, where she confronted the same problem again, but this time, it was Ma-san. Lammy ran out of the stall and ran out of the school with various people chasing her. Her heart beat like a drum, her furry skin tinged with sweat, and her eyes focusing on the arcade down the road. She ran inside there and from there, locked herself in a stall in the girl's restroom, so she could play her guitar.
Lammy said to herself, "Yes! Yes! I don't have to play in public!" and suddenly the student body of Rodneytown High opened the door to the stall.
In front of Lammy, Katy said, "Lammy, I have come to reason with you! You see, our country needs you! You can't keep on runnin' like this forever!"
Lammy started to scream and the student body covered their ears. Lammy tried to sneak out, but various students blocked all entrances out. Katy walked closer to Lammy while Lammy squirmed away from her. Finally, she ducked and soon, she opened her eyes. Nobody was there. She walked out of the stall and the bathroom, seeing nobody in the student body. Suddenly, Katy and Ma-san popped out of nowhere, scaring Lammy.
Katy said to the already scared Lammy, "It's okay. We just wanted to know…why have you been hiding your guitar prowess from us after all of these years?"
Lammy sighed and said, "I'm a bad Lammy. I'm a very bad Lammy. I should've played at the talent show, but people don't like my favorite music. I have a better sense of ideals, but nobody wants to be different. Everybody wants to be a mold of somebody else. Jesus loved individuality."
Katy hugged Lammy and said in a smooth tone, her inflection getting louder and angrier every second she spoke, "Aw, Lammy. You didn't have to hide you guitar prowess because you loved Captain Beefheart! How could you? You would be famous already!"
Lammy broke down in tears and said, "I guess I don't like criticism that much. I don't know why. I didn't talk until I was three, at the moment when I listened to my first dose of the Captain's good medicine."
Katy hugged tighter and replied very calmly, "Lammy, it's okay…"
Suddenly, Ma-san squeaked, "(Can we break up this chick flick and get on with our everyday lives?)"
Lammy pulled away from Katy's grasp and walked to a random arcade machine, which happened to be Dance Dance Revolution. Katy followed Lammy and they put in a few quarters, enough to last them one game. Lammy and Katy picked their characters and soon picked some Beastie Boys song they called "Sabotage". Lammy slipped off her shoes and stood in the middle of the mat/controller in her socked feet. Suddenly, the song started. Lammy and Katy shook hands before they started to dance. Katy danced okay, but Lammy was somehow a whiz at the game, hitting every movement perfectly. Soon, the song ended and pronounced Lammy's character the winner.
Lammy stepped off the mat and said to Katy, "Nice game, wasn't it?"
Katy replied, "Yeah, it was, but how'd you do that?"
Ma-san stood next to them, slack-jawed. Lammy slipped her shoes back on and walked to another arcade machine, this time being a Galaga machine. She put in two quarters and started to play the game to no avail. She sucked at Galaga. Soon, she walked back to her new friends and they ran out of the arcade and back to their respected homes. Katy lived only a few apartment rooms down from Lammy while Ma-san lived at the Chinese pharmacy, as her family built a home on the other floors of it.
When Lammy got inside her apartment, her dad said to her, "Lammy, why'd you cause a commotion that was all over the news? Why'd you make the whole student body follow you because you had a guitar? Why am I asking you this? You're becoming popular, Lammy! You are, you are!"
Lammy blushed and replied, "Well, Daddy. I don't like playing in public, but I found some new friends today. One's a cat and one's a mouse. I seem to fit in perfectly. They're outcasts."
Jimmy then said, "You're not an outcast, Lammy. You're a regular teenager, just anthropomorphic. Your mom was like that and she was hot. In fact, I-"
Lammy interrupted, "Thanks, Daddy, but I don't want to get sick, do I?" and ran into her room, closing the door behind her.
She dropped her satchel onto her desk and removed her shoes. She put on "Lick My Decals Off, Baby" and fell on her bed, listening to the music. She grabbed her homework from her satchel and started doing it until she felt tired at the tailend of it. She fell asleep.
Somehow, later, Lammy woke up and walked out of her room. She saw nobody in the hall, as everybody was sleeping, and went to the kitchen. She ran to the fridge, got out some microwavable fish, and put it on a plate. She warmed it up and walked to her room to eat it. She put on her headphones and turned on "The Spotlight Kid". She soon ate and took off her clothes and her socks. She got into her pajamas and turned off everything, but after putting her dish in the sink. She fell asleep.
During the next few weeks, the meek lamb got together enough courage and enough strength to try out for many bands that had auditions in the Glendale-Palmdale-Los Angeles-Santa Monica-Rodneytown area. First off, she auditioned for the Magic Band, the famous backup band for Captain Beefheart. She played most of their songs correctly, but John French and Gary Lucas denied her, saying that she was too good. Next, she tried out for Joe Chin's All-Star-Ska-Band, made with former members of Reel Big Fish, the OC Supertones, Goldfinger, Jane's Addiction, Jellyfish, the Grandmothers, the Turtles, the Beatles, and Sublime. She played the stuff she knew to Joe Chin, who shook his head in dismay.
After the audition, Lammy asked him, "Did I do good?"
Joe yelled to her, "Hell no, you didn't! Get out and don't come back! How am I to make an all-star band if you aren't a star?"
Lammy showed Joe two fingers and ran out of the building, crying.
Soon, Lammy got news from a few students at Rodneytown that her friend Katy was forming a band and that she needed a drummer and guitarist. However, her requirements required the band to be all female, must be a natural at their instruments, and must arrive at practice on time. Lammy fit all requirements, so one day, and it was a Tuesday, she arrived at Katy's apartment and saw Katy sitting in a chair, judging many guitarists very harshly. When Katy called her up, Lammy grabbed the guitar case and walked up to the performance area.
Lammy said to Katy, "My name is Lammy Michelle Page and I play the Merc Montclair…er, I mean the guitar. I'll be performing," and tried to think of a song that fit Katy's harsh guidelines.
Finally, she blurted out, "When Big Joan Sets Up by Captain Beefheart & the Magic Band," and got out her guitar.
She plugged it in and grabbed a random pick from her pocket. She started to strum the guitar while holding down the correct notes played by Zoot Horn Rollo on the "Trout Mask Replica" recording. She got out a slide and put in on her right hand, to where she could slide the notes and chords with ease. Katy watched Lammy in amazement and thought about having a guitarist like her.
After Lammy had gotten to the point of the song to where it, on the recording, would transition to "Fallin' Ditch", Katy stood up and said, "Stop it right there! You are in the band! I didn't know you were that experimental, that commercial, that complex, and that professional at playing guitar!"
Lammy blushed and scratched her head, saying to her friend, "Heh, Katy, I know that whole album, along with 'Clear Spot', 'Lick My Decals Off', 'Shiny Beast', and 'Safe as Milk'. I know a few from the other albums, but some are just piano or saxophone jams made by Don."
Katy shook Lammy's hand and replied, "Well, you gotta know band practice is tomorrow. If you were wondering why I didn't hold auditions for a drummer, just wait and see what tomorrow brings!"
Lammy gave a peace sign to Katy and walked out the door, unplugging her guitar and grabbing her case on the way out. She put the guitar in her case and locked it, only then running to her apartment. She opened the door and her mom was at the kitchen, fixing taquitos for a guest that was coming over in a few minutes.
Lammy said to her mom, "Hello, Mom. Is my god-daddy coming over to visit on my progress?"
Mrs. Page replied, "You guessed right, Lammy-wammy! Your godfather Don's visiting and you know what that means! That means he's finally bringing that picture you paid him for. Also, if your friends could keep a secret, you could invite them."
Lammy gave a peace sign to her mom and ran to the telephone, where she dialed Katy and Ma-san's numbers. She invited them over to visit her godfather and they came soon enough.
Lammy said to Katy, "So did you get my…"
Katy replied, "Yes, I did, 'Lammy-wammy'," and started to laugh at the nickname Mrs. Page had given to her daughter.
Lammy scowled at Katy's laughter and said, "Don't make fun of me because my mom calls me babyish names, alright?"
Katy stopped laughing and agreed. She sat down on the couch and turned on the TV to VH1, where they were playing an episode of "Behind the Music". Ma-san walked to the bookshelf, grabbed a copy of "A Farewell to Arms" by Ernest Hemingway, sat on the couch, and started to read it. Lammy walked into the kitchen and helped her mom bring out the dishes.
From the living room, Katy said to Lammy, "You gotta see this episode! It's exciting! It's about Milli Vanilli!"
Lammy replied, "Thanks, but no thanks. I'm helping my mom with the cooking. My godfather's coming over in a minute," and grabbed a turkey from the oven.
Katy kept on watching the episode until a noise was heard from the door. Lammy stopped what she was doing and walked to the door. She opened it and saw a 58-year-old male with black hair, a grey mustache, a green coat with a black undershirt, black slacks, and leather shoes. He held a drawing case and sketchpad in one hand while holding his suitcase in the other hand. He had a pair of glasses on that distorted the outside view of his eyes, making it look like they were fully grey lenses. He had a cigar in his mouth that he would occasionally pull out to exhale some smoke.
Lammy said to the man, "Hello, god-daddy! How's Arcata?" and hugged him.
Her godfather replied, "Jan and I are getting along, I'm drawing more, and for some odd reason, I'm writing a song every day on the piano."
Katy walked to the couple and said to them, "Hey! Who in the world are you?"
Lammy replied to Katy, "Katy, this is my godfather, Don. Don, this is my friend Katy."
Don stuck out his hand and said, "Pleasure to meet you, Katy. What Lammy said is true, but if you can keep a secret, my full name is Don Van Vliet."
Katy was slack-jawed. She didn't know Lammy's godfather was Captain Beefheart himself. She shook the hand and slowly reached in her satchel to find her "Clear Spot" LP.
Don knew what Katy was doing and said, "Do you happen to be a fan of my music? If so, I'm glad."
Katy scratched her head and replied, "I don't necessarily like your music, but I do love your paintings. I have a couple hanging around the house that my family bought in New York a couple of years ago."
Don winked at her and said back, "That's what I call a true fan of mine. Lammy is one. I knew her for many, many years, back to when she was…special, but I feel like we're just fans of each other. Lammy likes my art and my music and I like her bravado, her guitar prowess, and her memory. In fact, if Gail would stop bothering me, I would form my band together again with her if Zoot or Gary don't wanna join and we could tour clubs."
Katy replied, "Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Van Vliet…so, are you staying for dinner?"
He replied, "Yeah, I was hoping to. I even brought my wife over to meet the family after all these years."
Suddenly, Don's wife, a pretty woman of 47, walked through the door in a raincoat and boots, having a psychedelic gleam in her eye, and joined up with her husband. She had a walk that was gorgeous, glimmering brown hair, and the looks of Mrs. Robinson.
She said to Katy, "You met my husband, girl? Well, you shouldn't. Gail might be searching for you."
Katy replied, "Why is Gail Zappa, of all people, trying to hunt you down?"
Don said in a solemn voice, "I told her the wrong thing. I told her that I didn't want to release Bat Chain Puller until I felt like it, so she tried to shoot me. She couldn't succeed, but she told me to act like a man with multiple sclerosis until I died. If I didn't do that, she would burn every one of my masters. She would murder me. The only way to stop it was to release Bat Chain Puller, but I don't feel like it. I'll probably release it in a decade or so."
Katy sighed and walked away. Lammy stayed with the Van Vliets and showed them to their seats.
Don said to Lammy, "Thank you, Lammy. I should be giving you something now," and got out his sketchpad.
He flipped through several pages and found a picture that Lammy had wanted many months earlier. He ripped it out and gave it to her. She looked at it and formed a tear in her eye because it was so beautiful. It was she, drawn in her godfather's unique style.
She hugged Don and said to him, "Thank you for the picture, god-daddy!"
He replied, "You're welcome, Lammy," and sipped a bit of his Pepsi.
Lammy walked away from the dining room and went to her room, where she framed the picture and hung it on the wall. She got out her guitar and started to play it a bit until she was a bit tired of playing it.
Katy walked in and said, "Lammy, you hungry?"
Lammy replied, "Finally! I've been waiting all day!" and walked out of the room.
She ran to the kitchen, where she got a plate and put some turkey, taquitos, Cure 81 ham, sweet potatoes, and some leftover pizza on it. She grabbed a cup, poured some Pepsi into it, and walked to the table, where Jimmy, Mrs. Page, Jan, Donald, Katy, and Ma-san were eating. Lammy sat down next to Don and Katy and started to eat.
While the supper was underway, Don banged on his glass and said, "Hey, guys. I just want you all to know that I'm possibly going to go back into the music business soon, if Gail would be arrested for her actions. I know her son Dweezil and he knows me, so we're friends. He saw what his mom's doing to me and got some message from his dad, saying that Gail was his love. However, Dweezil didn't believe it…Gail and I may be making amends."
The family, Katy, and Ma-san clapped in excitement. Lammy banged on her glass.
She said, "I finally got into a band today, one owned by my friend Katy," and the family clapped.
Jan stood up and said, "I'm not much of a speaker, but the taquito is the best microwaveable Mexican food ever. It's like what if people from south of us suddenly realized, 'Crap. We need a microwaveable food,' so they got José Olé to make one. He was a good scientist, so he, in a matter of faith, Darwinism, and bravado, invented the taquito. The Mexicans cheered and that's why I love those things. Also, I would like to proclaim…"
Don interrupted, "Everybody knows you love me, Jan. I love you, too, but do I keep saying it?"
Jan replied, "Well, people buy your love albums to me."
Don scratched his head and continued eating. Lammy got up and cleaned her plate. She walked to her room and grabbed her guitar. She got a cord and plugged both ends into the amplifier and the guitar. She started to play some, until her mom came in.
Her mom, who was named Maria, said to her daughter, "Lammy, you joined a band? How did you? How'd you get a guitar?"
Lammy's brain had a short circuit and she started to laugh retarded. She fell asleep and her mom hugged her. She kissed her and left her to sleep. Soon, Katy and Ma-san had to leave to home. They saw the sleeping Lammy and left her alone.
The next morning, Lammy woke up, looking at the clock. It was 10 in the morning, perfect enough to arrive at band practice early. However, towering her was Katy.
She said to the cat, "Katy, why are you here so early?"
Katy replied, "Well, Lammy, don't you know that…" and got so steaming mad.
She continued, "Band practice is in five minutes!"
Lammy suddenly got up and put on her t-shirt, a clean pair of jeans, and her Birkenstocks. She grabbed her guitar and a few picks and ran out of her room to Katy's apartment. From there, her jaw dropped as she saw her friend Ma-san on drums, drumming a very good beat.
Katy said to Lammy, "How do you like Ol' Mar on the drums?"
Lammy replied, "What the crap? I didn't know she was a drummer! Katy, I don't think I can take this! You keep thinking I'm anticipating for everything, but I don't! I just get really freakin' shocked!" and tried to walk out the door.
Ma-san's fuse lit and she threw her drumsticks at Lammy's head, hitting it with such great force that the sticks broke and scratched the neck while she felt tremendous pain from the blow.
She yelped out, "OW!" and started to rub her little knobs coming out of her head.
Blood was dripping from the neck and Katy ran to Lammy so she could bandage it. She bandaged the wound and Lammy turned around.
She said, "I didn't know Ma-san was an impatient type of mouse! You didn't tell me!"
Katy laughed at Lammy rubbing her horns and said, "Lammy, you have autism? You're doing that to get rid of pain?"
Lammy stopped rubbing her horns and replied, "Maybe I should stop. I get so freakin' nervous when nobody tells me about anything or tries to keep it a secret. However, I don't go jumping up and down, flapping my hands, and throwing tantrums everywhere I go, making my dad regret his decision on not to buy a condom."
She walked to the preset Marshall amplifier and plugged her guitar in. She played a few chords and Katy joined in with a bass line that sounded like a pedal steel guitar. Ma-san got out her brushes and used them to drum the beat.
Lammy sang into the microphone:
She's a devil in disguise.
You can see it in her eyes.
She's tellin' dirty lies.
She's a devil in disguise, in disguise.
Katy took the verse:
Now a woman like that all she does is hate you
She doesn't know what makes a man a man
She'll talk about the time that she's been with you
She'll speak your name to everyone she can.
Lammy and Katy both sang on the refrain:
She's a devil in disguise.
You can see it in her eyes.
She's tellin' dirty lies.
She's a devil in disguise, in disguise.
Lammy started to play a guitar solo that sounded like no ordinary slide guitar solo. It was on a fuzzbox.
Lammy sang the verse:
Unhappiness has been her close companion
Her world is full of jealousy and doubt.
It gets her off to see a person crying.
Well, she's just the kind that you can do without.
Lammy and Katy took the refrain:
She's a devil in disguise.
You can see it in her eyes.
She's tellin' dirty lies.
She's a devil in disguise, in disguise.
Soon, the whole band went into an instrumental, with Lammy performing the same fuzzbox slide solo. Soon, they got back on track.
All members than sang (Ma-san did a few inaudible squeaks):
Her number always turns up in your pocket.
Whenever you are looking for a dime.
Well, it's alright to call her but I'll bet you darlin'.
The moon is full and you're just wasting time.
She's a devil in disguise.
You can see it in her eyes.
She's tellin' dirty lies.
She's a devil in disguise, in disguise.
Lammy ended the song by saying, "No more music!"
Katy clapped at the song and said to the lamb, "Lammy, how'd you know the music of Gram Parsons?"
Lammy replied, "I've been playing Captain Beefheart for years and years, but I do listen to other good albums, like the Gilded Palace album…do you have it?"
Katy replied, "Yeah, I do. We could become a country band."
Lammy scowled and said, "You said this was a rock band. Gram Parsons' bands were rock bands, forgot about that little bout of trivia?"
Katy sighed and put down her bass guitar. She got out a list of rules and showed them to Lammy. Lammy read them and didn't agree with a lot of them.
Lammy said to Katy, "Your rules are unfair? First, you're limiting the amount of clubs we can play at, thus limiting our money for a tour van, instruments, and food. Second, you claim to be in control. Even though you're the singer, all of us are in control in a way. Finally, you say that we're not doing original songs. Why? You're afraid you can't write lyrics! Well, that makes Ma-san and I the only songwriters in the band. You better make revisions to the band rules or else you'll need to hire a new melody section!" and flipped the bird at her.
Katy sighed and said, "I'll think it over later on."
END OF CHAPTER 1