Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in the following. All characters are the property of the amazing fantabulous (if that's even a word) geniuses who created the wonderful barrel of laughs, tears, torture, drama, and lolness of Total Drama Island. Again, I own nothing.

Author's Note: Yeah, this is Justin's thinking. The guy who never talked at all on the show except for about 3 separate times, of only one where you actually heard him. I was sad when he got voted off (unfairly like Courtney). He was one of my favorite people. I mean no offense to any of the following characters; it's just Justin's thoughts. Again, I (can't say the same for Justin) mean no offense to any of the character's he may or may not like. Rated T for some inappropriate sexual comments, occasional cursing, and direct or indirect sex references/parts. I can't remember if there was anything else. I always love reviews unless you flame me. I mean no offense people to any of the people Justin might inadvertently offend with his feelings on characters.

Dear diary,

I really don't know what to say about my experiences on that torture playground known as Total Drama Island. I totally should have done better and made it further than being the 4th person voted off. It's so not cool man, we were going to win that challenge. Then Heather had to ruin it and get competitive with the girl Gwen and read her diary out loud. Although everyone knows that Trent likes Gwen and Gwen likes Trent, everyone but them anyways, it still wasn't right for her to go and embarrass her. And really, if she didn't have to go all psycho-competitive all the time, we would have so won that with more points than the Bass even when Harold does that really cool beat bopping thing of his. I was actually very impressed and you and I both know how hard that is to be impressed with those uglies. Creepy guy Harold has some talent there. If he wasn't so creepy and ugly looking, I would like him more. But that doesn't mean I can't appreciate talent. The Bass sucked in that challenge anyway, besides Harold, that team had no talent whatsoever and those few that did were somehow wrecked and incapacitated and cursed. Courtney was going to play her violin, somehow it got smashed though. Bridgette was going to walk on her heads and stay that way for a very long time but she got depressed and ate too many chips and threw up everywhere, which amazingly enough, actually got points. Eew. Thank goodness she didn't puke on my favorite shirt. Geoff was going to ride a skateboard but it cracked so DJ, who is one of the nicest guys on the whole island although Trent gives some stiff competition in that area, does the flag-waving type thing, in a tutu! I almost burst out laughing but he did look pretty good in one. It fits his soft and very sissy attitude. I'm not mean and ruthless like Heather but wow, the dude is afraid of like everything! Anyways, he messed up. We had a far superior point lead and then Heather had to go mean girl and read the stupid diary, giving us zero points which is followed with amazing and much unexpected beat-bopping Harold, making us lose by a couple points.

I was voted off then; Heather had convinced her lackeys Beth and Lizzie and bribed Owen to all vote me off. I didn't know about that until I joined that 5 star resort (which is totally much more my style than that lamo camp of torture) hotel the "Palais des Losers" or something. Us losers got to watch how the people that were still on the island were doing and also got to watch those "secret" confession tapes. Chris loves to embarrass everyone and air whatever secrets people may have on the television and there are cameras everywhere. I'm serious, there were cameras everywhere. Even in the place of the losers, believe it or not. Since after all, he must know each and every little thing about us and air it on television to ruin our lives. I totally love him. Of course, I made sure not to speak anything that might be used against me, I know how these tv shows work after all. They invite you to say stuff and when you think it's private, they record everything and put all the stuff you didn't want anyone to know out on television for the whole world to know. I can't believe they actually thought whatever they said was going to remain private. Not at all suckers. Chris is an awesome dude though. He's totally dedicated to his profession and good-looking at it. The two most important things, after all, dedication to profession, and looking good while doing it. I totally respect him for it. He was one of the few sane people on that insane island.

But I understand why Heather did it. Honestly, I would do it to her in a heartbeat and everyone hates her anyways. It wouldn't be that hard to get rid of it so she saved herself by sacrificing someone else. I am not sure why she chose me though. Why not Trent or Gwen? She hates them both, Trent because he likes Gwen and is so nice, and Gwen…I am honestly not sure why she hates Goth girl so much. If I was her, I would totally choose Gwen as she is not going to forget that Heather had embarrassed her and will take the chance for revenge. Heather is a very pretty but deadly competitor, I respect that. After all, we're in it to win at any cost. I have done similar things like Heather, embarrassing the competition, manipulating, pulling the strings, but not on the scale of Heather. I only resort to such tactics when I am not certain of victory; she does it whenever she can to mess up everyone's lives. I'm just amazed she could do it to me though. No one has ever done that to me before.

The campers themselves were interesting. Take a mixture of the weirdest, creepiest, insane, and different groups of people and you get them. The guys were on the whole awesome and cool. All except for that geek Noah who contrary to what he says, is NOT a team player or at all useful and always reading a book, that geek Harold who just invites bullying (although he does have amazing talent at beat bopping and dodging dodgeballs), and that overly hyper kid Cody. Cody was the best out of those three but he was always annoying, following us cool guys around, especially Trent. Cody liked Gwen and thought he was cool. I was beginning to want to wring his scrawny little body but thank goodness he mostly followed Trent around. I wasn't interesting conversation for him, I just kept my mouth shut the whole time so I wouldn't say anything bad, and had to restrain myself from jumping the little bugger. Noah just pissed me off, he was ugly, had a snooty "I'm smarter and better than you" tone, and never did anything to help the team, not one single attempt. This game may have been all for yourself, but at this time it was survive in a team and he wasn't helping. And as he wasn't helping, he had to be taught a little lesson.

Everyone wondered why I didn't talk; there are a few reasons for that. It was either: A, you were not pretty enough. B. I didn't like you. C. I was having my daily all about me time. D. I didn't want what I said to be recorded. E. I had a reputation to uphold. F. It's not necessary; girls and guys already drooled over me, etc. G. It was not needed for me to talk. Those are the main reasons I stayed silent. Out of the guys, my favorites were Duncan, Geoff, DJ, Owen, and Trent. DJ, Trent, and Geoff are uber nice and I really like them. And although I still think DJ is a sissy boy he is a kind compassionate person. Usually I do not buy into such stuff but there is just something about DJ. Trent was good-looking, had AWESOME songs (I looked through his song book when he was out with Gwen at some time), and was as nice as DJ. Geoff is a party animal! He loves too party and is the 'spread the love' type of person, always perpetually happy and nice. If he wanted to, I think he'd make pretty good model material. Not as good as me of course, I'm still better looking and he is way too much into partying, but still. The cowboy hat is a nice touch. Duncan is different from the others. A convicted criminal with a criminal record brought in from juvie to participate in this insane game. I find it hard to believe, Duncan is an awesome dude. Sure the whole piercing and Mohawkish hair thing is kind of creepy, but he pulls it off nicely and he is very protective of DJ. He is crude and mean but not evil. I greatly enjoyed him and Geoff pulling those pranks on Harold, I only wish I could have been there in person to do it to the little ugly git myself. It was fun to watch though and was almost as good. Hah, Duncan is funny.

Tyler is an idiot, all I got to say. He should stick to the nice outfits and clothes, maybe also join the modeling business. He'd be really good at it. But the poor dude thinks he can play sports while he's absolutely hopeless at them. I saw his audition videos and all the challenges that involved talent, he sucked at sports. He couldn't ever dive correctly, he gets hit on the head with a basketball, he gets knocked over by footballs, and he somehow managed to tie himself up with a yo-yo. If that's not bad, I don't know what is. I admire his dedication though but there comes a point when you have to just give up and Tyler is FAR beyond that point, he absolutely sucks at sports and is either very seriously deluded and really thinks he actually is good (I wouldn't be surprised as he likes Lindsay, I mean really, Lindsay! And not just for her looks either, he apparently likes her for more than the sex) or is very, very stubborn. I go with seriously deluded, the guy is almost as lacking in the brain department as Lindsay his girlfriend is, no wonder they go so well together. His fear makes me laugh. He's scared of chickens! Even dead ones! It's really funny to watch him see a chicken. He totally freaks! What man (as that fool calls himself, I sometimes question whether he still has his or was castrated or something, it must be busted up after so many accidents involving attempted physical activity if he ever had one) does that? Hah, whatever. His girlfriend that he loves is dumb as a sack of bricks, can't even remember who he is. I advise Tyler to get the action, then run, far, far away quickly.

Owen. I am mixed about him. For a fat guy (ew, fat no!) he is very surprisingly agile and fast, especially when motivated by food. He also gets way too much into the games. He also has an amazing ability to eat anything and I mean anything edible and things that are not so edible. It's amazing how much and more importantly what he eats that is amazing. He also smells. I pray that I will NEVER have to smell anything like that ever again. I wouldn't sleep in the same room with him again for all the money in the world. (I might consider it if there were lots of admiring girls involved though as that's the only thing that kept me going, that, and how awesome I still look). I was certain he liked men, until he started dating that insane girl Izzy. That actually strengthens my convictions really, I mean seriously, how could anyone stand to be around that chick for more than 2 minutes? Heather might have been a mean bitch but she wasn't totally whacked out like Izzy. I would say Owen would be out of his mind to even consider dating that chick but I'm wondering if he isn't. Maybe he's doing it to prove to himself that he's not gay or something, I don't know. At least that would make sense why he's dating Izzy. After all, I have no idea how ANYONE can like her. Besides this, Owen has been pretty nice always wanting me to show off my awesome body (ah, good times, good times…nice to have adoring fans even on that hellhole of an island). I was impressed that he drank that huge gigantic thing of pop and then burped out the entire alphabet in a row, non-stop. That was, while very disturbing and gross, very impressive. I gave him a thumb up for that one! That's not something you see everyday man! It was awesome. I tried it later, let's just say, never again and complete failure. I was sick the whole next three days.

Katie and Sadie, they both are kinda freaky. You never find one without the other except for that one time when they were separated when one was voted off. I can never remember which one is which, I think the fat one is Sadie and the thin one is Katie. Or is it the other way around? Ugh, it doesn't matter, it's like they share a mind anyways. Are they related? It's like their Siamese twins but only detached and that they have two very different bodies. One's fat and pale while one's skinny and tan. But they finish each other's sentences and thoughts and share EVERYTHING. They're always together. It's weird! But it is always good to be appreciated, even if the people are freaks. It's only natural after all to be appreciated. I'll think of them and Beth when I get my prize money and set up my charity foundation for the ugly people.

Now back to Lindsay. She's stupid. Plain and simple. I may not be smart compared to some of the others like Noah but man; she makes a sack of bricks look smart compared to her. She never gets anyone's name right except for Tyler's and Heather's and sometimes she forgets who Tyler is! And they're supposedly boyfriend and girlfriend! At least she's pretty, that's all she has going for her in addition to the luck of the stupid. Stupid people are often lucky and gifted surprisingly enough. I'm amazed she hasn't been killed or something yet but again, luck of the stupid. Tyler should just get a fuck or two and then dump her. She's Heather's lackey and willing slave, dang, Heather got her first. If I had known Lindsay was going to let someone tell her everything to do, I would have done it. After all, I need an admirer/slave too. Only thing she's good for anyway.

Izzy, now she's a nutcase and is seriously messed up. I don't see how ANYONE could stand her or even understand what the hell she is talking about. She's insane! She also tells the most ridiculous and outrageous lies and you never know if she's really lying or not as sometimes her outrageous stories are true. Like, she blew up a kitchen so she is wanted by the RMCP. I have no idea if that's true or not, it is true though that she is wanted. She's a maniac; she blows stuff up and is very trigger happy. Stay away from her, she is a wild shooter and if she has a weapon, duck and run, run as fast as possible for your life. I have dated her once; it was the WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN. It's a miracle I even survived that horror. She had decided to show me how she 'starts fires and live in the wild'. That night is permanently in my nightmares along with becoming ugly. I dumped HER though. She didn't dump me! And Izzy is of course one to talk about liars, she lies all the time, she is not rich nor is she sane either. I only dated her as she said she was rich and would fund me on my modeling! Liar! Ugh, I hate her. It turns out that she is not the rich one; it is her parents who hate her. Don't blame them, after 5 minutes of her talking my head off, I wanted to run away screaming. I still wonder how I survived the hour long date without dying or becoming as nutty and insane as her. By the way, she did not sell that maple syrup or become a bajillionaire; no matter what it is she has told you!

Eva was cool. She is less insane than many of the other girls and as long as you didn't make her mad, she was cool. I do not know why she blamed them all for being 'back-stabbing traitors' or why she picked on Bridgette in particular. But other than her temper problems, she was fairly nice. She had real potential even though many people did not like her (she's scary too) and might have won. She's strong and sticks up for herself, it's kind of refreshing actually. She likes music too, it makes her happy.

Bridgette was cool. A real talented surfer and a vegetarian! Quite pretty too. Too bad she likes Geoff. It was a turn off though when she threw up everywhere in the talent show. I thank heaven that I wasn't there for the eating or the dare competitions that would wreck my modeling career when people watch me doing that crazy shit Chris cooked up.

Courtney on the other hand, I do not like her. Not as much as I hate Izzy but she is bad. She always brags about being a CIT and stuff. I always wonder about that as she would scare the poor little kids. I'd hate to have her for my counselor. She's just so critical and mean and always has bad comments about everyone. I don't see how Duncan likes her. He should find someone better than her. I was honestly amazed when she went off with Duncan and raided Chef's refrigerator and then kissed him! But anyways, I don't care for her. She's ugly to boot too and beats up her poor cameraman in her audition. And then she says 'vote for me!' Yeah, I'll vote for you alright. I would have voted you right off this stupid game show had I made it further.

Heather is very pretty. If I ever found someone who could match me in my hotness, it's got to be her. She's prettier than Lindsay in my opinion and she's smart to boot. A little nasty maybe but hey, that's Heather. She only did what she did to get ahead. I respect that. I do too. She's amazing. I feel sorry for her about her parents; I wonder if that's why she's always so bitchy. I was sad for her to lose in the semi-finals where Gwen and Owen abused her. I don't know what it is between her and Gwen; they just always hated each other. I wonder if she likes me…

Gwen is okay too. I never understood what it was between her and Heather; they just never got along very well. She is an amazing artist; her pictures of Trent are amazing. I asked her if she wanted to be my art designer and draw my amazing-ness for all my fans but she didn't seem too keen on the idea. She actually slammed the door in my face. It was rude much. She could have just said no. Other than that little incident, she is cool and is best buds with Trent. I managed to convince Trent to write some theme song music for me in my next modeling show. It's going to be awesome. He also did ask her to draw pictures of me, still a no. That's okay, I can understand that. I'm not a terrible guy, why does everyone think I am?

Beth is ugly with her stupid braces and slurring of words. The only good thing about her is that she recognizes my hotness and is one of my many fans. For a smart girl, she is also fairly stupid as she also did whatever Heather wanted like Lindsay. Again, Heather had beaten me to the punch of recruiting suckers to do whatever I say. Course, mostly I would just use them to be my personal admirers who tell me how awesome I am and hold the mirror while I flex and pose. I applaud you Heather for getting them first, shows how sneaky and talented and dedicated you are. Beth's talent would have been cool; she learned how to do the fire-spinning thing and twirling. But she had never learned how to catch the stupid thing and she set the bush on fire, quite conviently letting me use my fire extinguisher. Honestly, I don't know why I wanted to bring a fire extinguisher but I wanted one and I actually got to use it! Score! How cool is that? It's hot to be the one to save the day and to put out the fire.

Ezekiel was a weird sexist, home-schooled boy. One lesson I've learned from this. Don't ever say sexist comments out loud that girls would be offended by. An offended girl can be a scary sight. Sorry dude, you pushed them over the edge. I did like your accent though. It was funny.

Leshawna, she's…independent. Eva and Leshawna are really competitive. Leshawna don't take any sass from anyone. Leshawna doesn't have the temper problem (usually) like Eva but otherwise, I say they're really similar, except that Eva works out constantly and is a gym freak. Nor can Eva get along well with people.

Oh, oops, look at the time. It's time for my modeling show. Shit, I'm going to be late. Sorry diary, I got to go, see you soon. Loves and kisses. Wish me luck with my awesome hotness!

-Justin Romanir