The Raiding:
Disclaimer: Are you idiotic enough to think I'm Lisi Harrison? If you said no, then you obviously know I don't own the Clique. If you said yes, well, I can't help you there.
A/N- This was a challenge from my bestie, RhiniHeartBreaker. So you know what a bizarre mind she has, here are her prompts. By the way, there's minor Massington in here. Not really relevant to the plot, but it's there in small doses.
The Simpsons, The Ring Girl, a tree, polka-dotted panties/bloomers, song: Lollipop, old ladies, an orange cat, kiwi, pickle, vampire, ding of MSN messenger, gecko, weave/extensions, water guns, and a cockroach.
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Derrick Harrington, Cam Fisher, Chris Plovert, Kemp Hurley, and Josh Hotz were all sitting around the Harrington's game room, thoroughly bored. Usually, they would be playing The Orange Box as they do every Friday night, but today, they were not.
Because today wasn't just any Friday. Today was Halloween Night. And they had no idea what to do.
"Why don't we just go trick-or-treating like every other year?" Kemp asked, hitting his head against the wall. He had to find something to stop the mind-numbing boredom.
"No way! Don't you remember what happened last year?" Chris said, frightened.
"Educational playground, educational playground," Derrick put his thumb in his mouth and started rocking back and forth. He kept mumbling this as his friends looked on, worried for his mental health.
Suddenly, Cam grinned. "I know what we should do." Everyone turned to him, even Derrick, eager to find out what his plan was.
"We," Cam said, pausing for dramatic effect. "Should go raid a girl's underwear drawer."
Their mouths dropped. Everyone had expected something like that from Kemp or even Chris!
"Dude, aren't you the 'sensitive' one?" Josh asked Cam, "Where the hell did that come from?"
The boys nodded their agreement.
Cam shrugged. "Dunno. I guess I've been hanging out with Kemp too much."
Kemp looked smug. He must be proud he turned Cam into a pervert like him.
"But aside from the weirdness on where the idea came from," Chris started, "That's… brilliant!"
There was a pause. Slowly, the boys consented. Cam smiled again; his idea was being used.
"One problem with that," Derrick began.
Cam glared at him. Nothing should be wrong with his idea. Derrick stuck his tongue out at him and continued.
"Which girl's underwear drawer are we raiding?"
Cam stopped glaring and looked thoughtful. He hadn't really thought that far into his plan…
"Strawberry?" Josh asked.
Kemp shuddered. "I wouldn't go in there if there was a freaking pot of gold."
"Layne Abeley?" Chris asked.
"Do you have any idea what we could find in there? One of her voodoo dolls might attack us!" Cam exclaimed.
Derrick raised one eyebrow. "How would you even know if she had voodoo dolls?"
Cam avoided everyone's gaze. "She told me after Claire had come crying to her about how mean I was to her when we broke up again. Abeley said, and I quote, 'You and the little Crappy Committee better stop being mean to Claire or I'll torture you all through voodoo!' I've been terrified to come near her or Claire since."
"Just imagine some Massie doll coming at you saying 'Shoes! Let's get some shoes!' in that valley girl voice of hers," Josh trembled as he pictured his musing.
Derrick glared at him. He still had a thing for Massie.
Josh glared right back. "You know it's a scary thought."
"Well," Kemp spoke loudly, trying to get his friends out of their glare contest, "We know we won't be going through Abeley's girly things."
A chorus of 'Hell yea we won't!' went across the room.
"How about Claire? She seems like the easy person to get underwear from," Chris said logically.
The boys thought it over and eventually agreed. They huddled together and began to plan.
-0-
Josh ran and leaned up against an enormous oak tree. He pulled his water gun against his chest and signaled for the other to come over.
The soccer boys came one by one to hide behind the trees, each carrying their own water gun. They kept lurking around the neighborhood, hiding behind trees as they went.
Kemp kept humming Lollipop by Lil Wayne. He said it was their 'spy song'. The rest of the boys decided not to ask. It might upset the balance of the universe if they did.
Soon, the boys had reached Claire's house. They all looked up at the thick tree that led to an open window in which Claire's room was. In turn, they looked at each other.
"You go first!" they all shouted at the same time.
"No, you go first!" was the reply. "Damn!"
"Okay, okay," Derrick said, "I say we do the ultimate way to decide."
"You don't mean…" Cam squeaked.
"Yes," Derrick announced, "A Rock, Paper, Scissors contest."
The boys gasped dramatically.
"But, but, but, that's absurd! We can't use such a sacred ritual to find out who should go up the tree first!" Kemp pleaded with Derrick.
But Derrick was sticking with his proclamation. Even though they didn't care about reigns in cliques, they knew who their main boss was. As sad as it was, the blond goalie led them, so following him wasn't an option. They always had to follow him in things of the utmost importance.
As this, apparently, was.
"Okay, Josh vs. Chris, first."
Josh and Chris stepped up to the middle of the circle they had subconsciously made. They shook their fists, one, twice, thrice. They opened their hands and created the shape they chose.
Chris chose paper; Josh chose rock.
"Yes!" Josh hissed. He went back into his spot in the circle and waited for the next teen to challenge Chris.
Chris practically cowered in fear and hoped to every deity in the universe to lose these battles.
However, lady luck was not on Chris' side. He figured she had a long-overdue vendetta against him. Everyone went against him, but not one of them won. Chris had a feeling that his ability at Rock, Paper, Scissors wasn't the best to have.
Chris groaned as he found out there was no one else to compete against him. He would have to go up the tree first and try to sneak in Claire's house without being caught. Yeah, there were no problems with that.
He gulped and began to climb the tree. When he got to the branch closest to Claire's open window, he climbed off the secure tree and on the unstable branch. He balanced precariously on it. When Chris finally got his legs steady, he kept walking, slowly, toward her window.
The branch began to lean down a bit, but it was a good thing. It made reaching the window much simpler. Chris jumped and fell onto her bedroom hard-wood floors. He stood up and walked toward the window and made a thumbs-up sign down to his friends. They grinned back up at him.
One by one, the boys came up. When they were finally inside, they looked at their surroundings.
Claire had changed her room since the last time any one of them had been there. She had a bubble-gum pink and green comforter with flower throw pillows. Her ceiling had glow-in-the dark stars on them that glowed neon green above them.
Her walls were the biggest change in her room. They had been painted a royal blue and had posters everywhere. There was a poster of the Simpsons, The Ring Girl, a family of vampires from that movie coming in November, and a pickle. The pickle just creeped them out, but they lived through it.
The real mission was up front in their minds. Find. Those. Underpants.
-0-
Kemp searched through the impressive amounts of drawers to find the underwear. Every time he didn't find the right drawer, he swore loudly. He was slowly becoming immune to glares with the amount they threw at him.
As he closed another dead-end drawer, something jumped into the room from the window. Kemp turned gradually in fear towards the mysterious thing.
The coal-black eyes of a cockroach stared back at him. His eyes widened comically and he screeched. Everyone's head whipped toward him. Kemp had gotten on top of Claire's bed and was jumping up in down yelling at the top of his lungs for someone to save him.
Chris, who had still been looking for the underwear, finally turned and stared at the scene. He took one look at the cockroach and ran to the bed to cower in fear with Kemp.
Their piecing shrieks could have been heard from across the globe. Derrick ran up to them and clamped a hand over both their mouths.
"Listen carefully," he growled. "Stop screaming like little girls over a cockroach and keep looking for that underwear. The bug isn't going to kill you."
However, as he said this, the cockroach had gotten closer to him and was touching his left sneaker. Derrick jumped and hid behind Chris and Kemp on the bed. He trembled as little whimpers of fright came out sporadically.
Josh and Cam shook their heads.
Suddenly, a gecko appeared in the room. Chris, Kemp, and Derrick yelled louder. The gecko crawled closer to the cockroach as Cam and Josh stared in confusion. What was the gecko doing?
When the gecko reached the cockroach, it promptly swallowed it whole. The green gecko waddled away and out of the window again.
There was a moment of silence.
"That," Cam stated. "was possibly the weirdest thing I've ever gone through."
Everyone else nodded. Derrick, Kemp, and Chris got off the bed and kept searching. Josh and Cam followed.
-0-
They had been searching for almost 23 minutes and 43 seconds (by Josh's count) before they found anything.
"Ah-ha!" Cam shouted triumphantly. "I've hit the jackpot!"
The rest of the soccer guys dropped what they were searching through and rushed over to Cam's corner. The drawer had the label 'Undies' on it in red script. The main thought going through their minds was 'How did I miss that?'
Huddling closer to Cam, they peered inside the drawer. It contained brightly colored briefs, bikinis, and an occasional thong.
"Whoa," they breathed.
"Hey look! She has scented body lotion!" Josh said. He opened the cap and sniffed. "And it's kiwi!"
"Can I see that for a minute?" Kemp smiled kindly.
Josh handed the bottle over. Kemp threw it across the room. "No one cares, Joshie!" he shouted.
Pouting, Josh turned back to the drawer.
"These are the perfect underwear to steal," Derrick said, a wild grin on his face. He held up a pair of polka-dotted bloomers.
Chris, Kemp, Josh, and Cam alternated their quizzical gaze between Derrick and the underwear he held in his hand.
"Why?" Chris asked.
"Because they're the most embarrassing underwear. Duh," he responded in a very Massie-esque way.
Chris shrugged and accepted the answer.
The ding of Windows Live Messenger rang out. Derrick, in his usual curious-puppy style, went to investigate. Josh, in an effort to keep Derrick from breaking something, followed.
Massikur: Kuh-laire!! I need to talk to you!
Massikur: Claire? Answer! I think I still like Derrick…
Derrick's jaw dropped. He leaned in towards the computer, hoping for more. None came. He was about to write something back to Massie, but Josh pulled him away.
"No! Please, Josh! Just one message! Please! I beg of you!" Derrick cried.
Josh just ignored him and kept dragging him back to the window where the others had gone down already. They got out (with Josh almost pushing Derrick out) and were soon on the ground with the rest of the soccer guys. Derrick sulked childishly off to the side.
"Okay, so we got the underpants?" Cam asked.
"Got it," Kemp replied, patting his pocket.
"All present and accounted for?"
"ANYONE WHO ISN'T HERE, SAY SOMETHING!" Chris shouted into the cold, night air.
As predicted, no reply came.
"All set to go, Captain Cammie," Kemp replied. Cam glared at him, but ignored it and moved on.
"Then let's go!"
They ran away from the Block's guesthouse secretly, once more. Kemp hummed their 'spy song' again, too.
As they were sneaking around, a pair of four wrinkled grandmothers walked down the street. They were wearing skimpy dresses with black hot pants. They carried a whip, as well. The grandmothers were meant to be 'Sexy Ringmasters'. One was carrying a fat, orange cat with the a tag reading 'Mannerly".
Chris fell out of formation, suddenly. "Grandma?" he whispers in awe at the one with the orange cat.
"Abort, abort!" The center grandmother, who had a striking resemblance to Chris, ran as fast as she could with her friends in tow.
Derrick, Josh, Kemp, and Cam stepped out of formation as well. They looked to where the grandmothers were jogging away in platform Mary Janes.
"Well," Derrick said. "Should we all go back to my house? Play Halo?"
"You read my mind," Cam answered.
They all walked, normally this time, to Derrick's house muttering about how strange the night was.
"All I know is that I'm gonna ask Massie out on Monday," Derrick kept repeating.
"I have to find my granny and question whether she's secretly a show girl!" Chris quivered.
"I wonder what the Pretty Committee is doing now. And where was Claire this whole night?" Josh asked in his mind.
"Okay, so I should fake left, then right and snipe quickly so I can finally beat Kemp in Halo," Cam said, a smirk forming. He could practically smell the victory.
"I'm hungry," Kemp stated simply.
This sure was one crazy Halloween Night.
-0-
Claire arrived home after trick-or-treating with her family and fell on her bed, exhausted. She reached over and grabbed her camera that was sitting on the nightstand.
In an explosion of over-the-top noise, Massie burst into Claire's room. "KUH-LAIRE!!!! Why the heck did you not answer my IM? I sent you, like, twenty!"
"I was out trick-or-treating with the family. Why, what happened?" Claire questioned gently. It wasn't her fault her parents forced her to trick-or-treat with Todd this year.
"I needed to talk about Derrick! I may still like him. And, the more important thing is, what. Do you think. Of my hair?" Massie looked her straight in the eyes.
"Um… it looks nice?" Claire said hesitantly.
"Ehmagawd! No! I'm gonna have to schedule an appointment with Jakkob to fix my weave. It must look terrible since it is only nice!" Massie said 'nice' as if she was talking about bodily functions or Mister Myner's class.
"No, no! It looks ah-dorable," Claire said quickly.
"Okay," Massie responded, calm again. "Now about Derrick…"
Claire had shifted her focus slightly toward her camera. She looked at the red light. Doesn't that mean…?
"Holy crap! I left my camera on all night! It must have been filming an empty room. That stinks." Claire's shoulders slumped.
"Look at the tape. Maybe you'll find something interesting," Massie said wryly, momentarily getting off the topic of Derrick's 'fabulous' hair.
Claire, just to humor Massie, went and viewed the tape. As the tape kept going, her eyebrows went up while her jaw fell down.
"Ehmagawd! Massie come look at this!"
Massie strutted over (of course), and looked at the tape as well. She had the same reaction.
When the tape finished, Claire shut off her camera. Massie looked shocked, yet pleased about the whole Derrick thing.
There was a long pause.
Claire, sparked with something, went back and reviewed the end of the tape. She looked at it carefully and her face morphed into an furious expression.
"They took my favorite underwear!"
Fin
A/N What a belated Halloween fic. I feel embarrassed to post it so late, but I had to. Procrastination aside, I did finish writing it. Make me smile, leave a review! By the way, RhiniHeartBreaker will soon (if she ever finishes, sorry starts, writing it) be posting a sort of prequel to this oneshot. Its going to be all about last years Halloween. Educational playgrounds have been sweeter!