Shuichi rounded the corner of one of the hallways at NG currently on his way home, with his hopes high for a happy Yuki to be waiting for him. Too
bad he already knew it wasn't going to happen. Ever since a few days ago when he talked to Ryuichi, he felt as though he'd been noticing things a bit
more. Such as when he says bye as he leaves the house...Yuki says nothing in return, when he hugs Yuki in sadness Yuki just stands there. But what bothered
him most was what Ryuichi said that day.
FLASHBACK
"Shuichi-chan!!!" Shuichi failed to escape as he was successfully glomped by one Ryuichi Sakuma. He also had epic failure as he tried to get up, so
he just settaled for laying there....underneath Ryuichi...... "S-Saku-'', he corrected himself as he saw his idol pouting angrily, "Ryuichi-kun, what are
you and Kumagorou doing here?" The older of the two grinned mischieviously as he hopped off his beloved Shu-chan. That's right bitches, contrary
to belief, Ryuichi had set his mind to believe that Shuichi Shindou, lead singer and lyricist of BAD LUCK, belonged to him and soley him. "Well,
Shuichi-chan, me and Kumagorou were on our way to find you because Kuma-chan had wanted to play with Shuichi today and Ryuichi wanted to
buy Shuichi lots of sparkley candy, no da!" Shuichi smiled against himself and allowed himself to be pulled away to the candy shop/arcade that just
opened up two days ago. After three hours of Ryuichi getting his ass kicked on Guitar Hero 3 and Shuichi getting his kicked in DDR, we finally find
our favorite singers in a park at sunset....not the park he had met Yuki in but a more.....romantic? park. When Shuichi turned to look at his idol,
he found himself growing panicked at the look in Ryuichi's eyes as he started speaking to the little pinkette. "Shuichi,..." Shuichi's eyes widened a
fraction before he broke out in a nervous chuckle. "Hai, S-...Ryuichi-kun? what is it?" The wind grew eerily still at that moment when they locked their
gaze with each other. "Shuichi,..are you....truly happy with Yuki-san?" His eyes really widened and those intense blue eyes never once faltered.
Shuichi took a step back....Ryuichi foreword... "Are you sure he loves you Shuichi? Does he tell you and show you like you deserve? Ae you happy being
his little slave, his toy to break whenever and however he feels like? Are you truly happy with the way he hurts you, when he kicks you out so coldly, or
when he yells at you for no apparent reason?" All these questions were asked with no mistake or falter and as Ryuchi asked the last question,
"Shuichi,....do you love Yuki?" Shuichi's back hit the trunk of the tree as Ryuichi stood right before him not bothering to hide his eyes nor the emotion
he felt at that time.... .
I hear...
a voice say don't be so blind...
It's telling me all these
things...
That you would probably hide...
Ryuichi didn't give Shuichi time to answer because as soon as he opened his mouth, The older one kissed him...silencing his answers for another day,
another time, a time when Shuichi fully knew the answers. As Ryuichi finally broke that kiss, Shuichi stood there completely shocked and at loss
for anything other than remembering how to breathe at the moment. "Shuichi, I love you......I always have since we first met and i always will. And I
would never let anything or anyone get in the way of that. Even if you don't return my feelings, I'll still love and protect you....I can't continue
this lie anymore. This front of only us as friends.....Shuichi...please...let it be something more....Let me love you........always......" Each word stung at
his heart as though K really had shot him multiple times for once... hell he thought YUKI was hard to understand but Ryuichi STILL never fails to
leave Shuichi completely unamazed at how much he just straight out doesn't know about the singer he idolized for years now. Damn Touma was gonna
kill him if he ever found out about this but Ryuichi didn't care anymore about Touma or anyone else who could get in his way. Right now
and always..only Shuichi mattered.
END FLASHBACK
And so here our little popstar was, alone in Hiro's guest room, utterly confuzzled, and at a complete loss to do with no help at all. He was broken from his
trance after 5 minutes of hearing someone banging on the door. And he finally realized just who's house he was in as he walked to get the door. 'how'd i get here?'
When he opened the door he was greeted by the sight of the dominos delivery dude, 2 large pizza's and a price. "This is $22.79 sir." Shuichi sighed and
payed for the pizza and brought them in knowing it was Hiro's trickiness that got him paying the pizza guy......again... he sat down and started eating some and
drank Hiro's last can of Mountain Dew as payback whilst his phone vibrated in his pocket. Apparently he had texts....1 from Yuki, 2 from Hiro and one from...Ryuichi. He decided to look at Hiro's texts first...
Hiro's text #1 :
hey shu i found you asleep in the
park last night and brought u home.
I dont know what happend but
we'll tlk when i get home kk? l8r...
Okay....normal text....next...
Hiro's text #2 :
i forgot i ordered us pizza i'll pay u back
this time shu i promise but i swear if you
drink my last mountain dew again i'll kick
your ass!! see ya wen i get there.
Alright...they both seemed perfectly normal...and Hiro said they'd talk when he got
back and explain why he woke up here in the first place. Too bad about the mountain dew, now lets see what Yuki couldve sent..
Yuki's text :
DAMN BRAT...WHY DIDNT YOU COME
HOME LAST NIGHT!!!..
i only give u warning to hide 4 ur damn live
should u get back any later than 6pm TONIGHT.
Am I...
your one and only desire...
Am I the reason you breath...
Or am
I the reason you cry...
Okay....he shouldve expected that one with what happened with Taki some time ago......but he couldnt get this
feeling of coldness he had gotten when reading the harmless and slightly threating text.
but what made him gasp and go back into his consious yet comatose-ignoring-you-all-cuz-i'm-seriously-fuxin-confuzzled state was
the text that Ryuichi Sakuma had sent him.
Ryuichi's text :
come back to the studio tonight at 7:30...and we can be all sparkley!!
The text was ultimately seemingly innocent enough...but he caught the underlying message in that sentence.....Ryuichi was going to make him chose between
himself and Yuki. And he wouldnt wait any longer for an answer or accept some half assed excuse this time....Shuichi laughed at the bitter irony of it all...he
loved Ryuichi of course...has ever since he laid eyes on him....fell again when he heard the cd....again when they met in person.....and now....somehow.....he was falling again....and he still loved Yuki to a degree even when the writer didnt love him back....and he was in a relationship with said writer.....sooooo confuzzled.
Always...
always... always... always... always... always... I love you...
I just can't
live without you...
I hate you...
I can't
get around you
I breathe you...
I taste you...
I can't live
without you...
I just can't take anymore...
This life of
solitude...
I guess that Im out the door...
And now Im done
with you...
sort things out with Ryuichi...tonight would prove if Yuki truly loved him or not....the silence and lack of words rarely used would prove this....he silently wondered
how he had come to even like Yuki....he was just so....evil...once again broken from his trance at the sound of a door....he heard Yuki come inside, completely
walk past him, into the other room, and start typing. He slowly got up...taking steps so light at a normal speed that Yuki didnt know he was even in the room untill
the young singer had told him of his plans to go to the studio to tweak some of his music because it didnt sound right.....this highly disturbed him...especially
since he hadnt even heard the kid come in. "Go, why do you tell me things I dont care about....I have a deadline anyway and you leaving will only make me get
done faster and thats a good thing." Shuichi didnt yell...or get overly dramatic, or start crying uncontrollably.
I feel...
like you don't want me around...
I guess I'll pack all my
things...
"Hai,Yuki...i'm sorry if I bothered you. Goodbye Eiri."
"bye"... And with this...Shuichi walked out the front door...for good.
I guess
I'll see you around...
It's all... been bottled up until now...
As
I walk out your door.....
...All I
can hear is the sound...
While in reality, it may seem as though Yuki didnt care....mentally his mental warning bells and sirens had gone off completely.
Because one, not only would the brat never apologize so quietly for disturbing him, or even apologize for that matter, but he called him by his real name. The fact that Shuichi had called him Eiri instead of Yuki
gave him the right to be scared out of his mind at what he knew would be happening in the near future...He also had the sinking feeling that he couldnt ignore that
when Shuichi had said goodbye...he really meant it.....for good this time.....
Always...
always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't
live without you...
Shuichi couldnt believe it...though he wasnt all that surprised really. Everything that Ryuichi had said that day was true. He also got the feeling that Ryuichi knew
he liked him back but when he somehow developed feelings for Yuki things got complicated...and he could do nothing. But now, Ryuichi was no longer willing to
wait for what was rightfully his only for his Shuichi to be broken and irrepairable and unable to love or feel it in return when he finally got him. Ryuichi truly loved
Shuichi...the kid who was clearly over obssessed with the color pink, had even made him want to start Nittle Grasper back up and rival Shuichi. He wanted to
sing with him, for him, to him...anything to make his Shuichi happy...and "Yuki" was NOT under that list.
I love
you...
I hate you...
I can't get around you..
I breathe
you...
I taste you...
I can't live without you...
I just
can't take anymore...
This life of solitude...
I guess that Im
out the door...
And now Im done with you...