Jack's Lament

"Jack, doesn't the sky look so nice tonight?"

The skeleton man did not move from his position on the desk; in fact, he made no sound to acknowledge the person addressing him. From the reaction he received, the teenager could have said nothing at all.

"Jack?"

"Huh? Oh yes...very nice..." Still, his eyes remained on a certain page of the leather-bound journal.

"C'mon, Jack! It's Halloween night..."

"Your point?"

"...nothing...sorry..."

Jack sighed. Sometimes, he wished he could just vanish and keep to himself. He was aware that his absence to visit the mortal world that evening for a few good scares was actually hurting the whole town; who could replace the Pumpkin King, really? If he was correct, nobody wanted to do anything this year anyway.

He wouldn't have done anything if they did.

There would be ghouls and ghosts missing as children happily skipped door-to-door to collect their treats from various strangers. No witch was going to cast a spell that will enable them to haunt dreams or strengthen the fear in a nightmare. Blood-sucking creatures would stay away, and not a single woman would be worried about being bitten.

Most of all, there would be no Master of Fright jumping from building to building, screaming like a banshee, and scaring the living daylights out of burly men.

It was going to be a quiet night.

Closing his book, Jack rose and carefully returned it to the bookshelf. Although his various collections in the study were tossed here and there, sticking out from shelves with no particular order, this certain object was kept in the same place by a lone flower inside a vase. He stared at the assortment of needle and thread next to that before turning away, shaking his head.

"I'll be taking a stroll, son. Watch Zero for me, will you?"

Without waiting for a reply, he left moodily, trying desperately not to look at the many pictures on the walls around him as he did so. His footsteps echoed loudly throughout the very empty (and soundless) house. At a time like this, there was only one place to go...

Spiral Hill had always been his sanctuary. Even before he was made king of Halloween Town, he had taken refuge on the odd location to think. Nobody bothered him there. A few years ago, that was where he had met the love of his afterlife. And about three years after, they had shared their first kiss atop that hill. Memories, good and bad, were permanently affiliated there. He could never walk to the peak without remembering something. No, more importantly, someone.

She was buried next to the location, right underneath the twisted tip of the hill. During the service, he had been completely unaware of anything and everything. His adopted son, though very attached to his mother, comforted him soothingly instead of the other way around. They had both cried. Even Jack, who was not capable of it, managed to let a few tears roll off his eye sockets. The residents, Behemoth and all, sobbed as well; they could never imagine the pain their ruler was feeling.

After she had been lowered into the ground, he was sure that he had cried everything dry and he could not possibly shed any more tears. He had stayed until the next day and fell asleep there, too.

His eldest son had taken him home, but it did little to change his mood. For the next few weeks, Jack had sleep-walked around the residence, as though in a daze. He refused, point-blank, to speak to anyone besides his family. Then again, he had barely looked at any of them, so it wasn't much anyway. The children took turns trying to cheer him up, but he didn't so much as smile. After a while, they gave up and allowed their father to mourn and sulk in solitude. Until now, he hadn't changed much from his depressed state.

"I miss you," Jack whispered, staring blankly into the full moon as though it were her face.

Sally...

Clenching his fists, he shook his head angrily. No, more tears were about to fall. "How could I...? Why couldn't I save you? Why? You deserved a longer life! You could have said you were feeling sick! Why did you wait until you were dying before letting me know?"

Whimpering, he fell to his knees, covering his face with his bony fingers. His whole body trembled, his silhouette looking like a deformed tree stump against the beautiful full moon. Irony, he thought, as he remembered standing beside her gravestone that terrible night when the same moon behind him shined its greatest. How could the weather have been so perfect on a day that would forever haunt him? It bothered him greatly.

His voice came out as muffled and harsh. "Do you have any idea how much I miss you? How much pain I've gone through? Do you know that there are days where I half expect to see you watching me in the morning when I wake up or—or downstairs making breakfast? I-I don't know how I've lived this past year without you, Sally! I doubt it's possible for me to continue another second knowing you'll never return! What's the point of being unable to die if I can't spend eternity with you by my side? You wanted a family and we have that now...why did you abandon us? Why did you abandon ME? I DON'T WANT THIS!"

He remembered it like yesterday. In fact, he saw the scene flash through his mind as though forcing him to relive that day.

It was Halloween evening. Decorations were finished, people were in positions, and he, the almighty King of Halloween, stood beside the gravestone that led to the mortal world. He was laughing, excitedly waiting for the clock to strike ten and signal him to do his work. Sally had been beside him, wishing him the best of luck and planting a soft kiss upon his bony lips. His son was eating the candy he had shared with Boogie's Boys beforehand, happily giving some to his other siblings every so often. Then Sally had shut her eyes in pain, but opened them quickly as though she did not want anybody to notice. He, Jack, had asked her if she was alright, and she had weakly assured him she was. The clock gave a loud tock and Sally pulled his hand. She kissed him again, but differently this time. As they parted, she whispered, "I love you, Jack," and he smiled in response.

The scene changed again.

He was running, well crawling, right behind a few tall teenagers who he had heard bragging about not being afraid of anything. His plan had been simple: jump in front of the boys as he shrieked like a banshee until they fled like little girls. Perfect. But no, someone had to stop him just as he was closing in on his prey.

It was Jack Junior, his second eldest son. As he was not allowed to cross worlds, Jack senior had been upset and scolded him for leaving. Yet the bony child only shook his head and informed him that "Mommy is sick."

Then they both ran back.

Again, that faded away and a new memory took its place. The worst.

He barged through the door, eyes frantically searching for his wife. Finding her on their large bed, eyes shut and tiny, he made to hold her when Doctor Finkelstein, her father, blocked his way. The old man had shaken his bald head.

"She's dead, son. I don't want you to discover that the hard way."

He saw his children looking hopelessly confused, except his eldest, whose face was like stone.

He recalled shaking his head, saying "no!" several times, while the sudden desire to jump off the tower grew with each passing second without somebody telling Finkelstein that he was wrong. When he actually held Sally, feeling the sudden coolness of her body instead of the usual comforting warmth, reality had shattered completely and he was falling into the darkness. Her face...the way it was just like a real, lifeless doll...it had mortified him.

The numbness didn't even last to prepare him for the upcoming days...

Then, all at once, as though in rewind, the funeral and the goodbyes. The peaceful face of Sally Skellington, laughing. Posing for the family portrait. The many births they went through together. Their wedding. Their first kiss, standing on Spiral Hill—

"Dad?" It was Steiner's voice. He sounded worried; even upset enough to address his father properly versus the usual "Jack."

"I-I'd rather be alone, son..." Sniffling, Jack tried to stop his crying and unsuccessfully wiped his face with a sleeve.

"I miss her, too," the teenager told him quietly, walking towards his adopted father. "Do you really believe only you feel the hurt? I do, too. All of us—me, Jack, Sage, the twins...even Zero feels the sadness. Shouldn't you be talking about this instead of keeping it inside until we're all asleep and sneaking out to mourn over her?"

"NO! That's beside the point! I couldn't protect her! Don't you get it? What's the use of having all this power and ability if I can't even save my own wife? It's my fault! It's always been my fault! I didn't notice she was getting weak, I-I never really forced her to see a doctor or take medicine! And SHE LET ME! Why didn't she mention anything? Why did she wait until it was too late? Did she want to leave me? Us? Wh—"

He gave a frustrated yell and punched the ground with his fist. He heard bones crack and saw his son flinch, but the pain that had surfaced in that area was lost amongst the pain that had already been swallowing him completely before. He doubted it would ever subside. "When will it end? This pain? I can't take it anymore! I've been undead for over a thousand years without complaint and now? I can't even wake up without wishing I was really dead, too! A year without her feels longer than a million! I want her; I want to hold her again! I want to kiss her and -and tell her I love her so much because I didn't when I left that night! I won't ever meet anyone else like her—she's the only one I'll ever love! I'd do anything to hear her voice call my name once more or laugh her lovely laugh! I just want to be with her again. I'll never let her out of my sight. Not even on Halloween. Just—just tell me she'll return someday to me...please...I-I can't live without her...Sally...my sweet, sweet Sally..."

Jack was suddenly yanked to his feet. He could feel pressure on his shoulders, but was too enveloped in his own misery to care.

"Jack! Pull yourself together! How do you think she feels about this? Did it ever occur to you that she didn't have a choice? If she could have, she'd be here with us. She loves us. She loves you."

Jack felt something be put onto his palm. A cool, smooth surface. "I thought you might want this," Steiner whispered, forcing a smile. Although the loss affected him in a way he would never admit, he wanted his father to know that everything would be fine, even without a certain rag-doll to help them through it all.

The pain would last, of course, and only time would be able to lessen the stinging in their newly opened wound. Slowly, surely, it would be better. It may never heal, yes, but at the same time, the bleeding will stop and they would all be ready to join her.

That Halloween night, Jack stood on the top of Spiral Hill by himself, holding a small green bottle with a familiar flower inside.

There was a note telling him to open it when he would meet again with his beloved Sally.

"Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones,
An emptiness began to grow..."

And Jack Skellington couldn't wait for that day.

"...a longing that I've never known..."

Wait for me at the top of the hill, Sally. I'll see you soon.

I don't own The Nightmare Before Christmas.