Right, so the other day I got this tumblr prompt literally just reading "Jasia Hate Sex". So after giving it some thought and brainstorming with the lovely Mirriall this is what happened... :D
Where I Stand
Zosia March slammed her locker shut in frustration and regretted it instantly. She winced at the loud noise, she was tired and grumpy and altogether unhappy. On top of everything else she was late. She pulled her hair into an unusually messy bun as she hurried onto the ward.
"Rough night?" Mo Effanga commented when she spotted the junior.
"I haven't been out if that's what you mean." Zosia retorted sounding much more annoyed than she meant to. Mo held up her hands in defence.
"I wasn't judging, just saying, but I would suggest you stay out of Naylor's way looking like that."
"Why is that?" Zosia frowned.
"She's not in a brilliant mood herself." The registrar explained. "Don't give her a reason to take it out on you."
"Right…" The junior murmured as she followed Mo to get on with ward rounds.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I just didn't sleep very well…" Zosia replied. That was an understatement. She had hardly slept at all, plenty of things had been playing over and over in her mind and not even half a bottle of wine had been able to silence them. When the exhaustion had finally got to her, she had slept through her alarm.
"Doctor March." So much for staying out of Naylor's way. Zosia closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning around to face the consultant.
"Yes Ms Naylor?" She tried her best to sound upbeat but didn't quite manage it.
"What's happened to you?" Jac Naylor frowned, she seemed to have forgotten what she was going to ask when she spotted the obvious signs of exhaustion and sleep deprivation on her face.
"Didn't sleep well." The junior retorted curtly hoping it was enough of an explanation.
"Right." The consultant said. "I want a word with you in my office if you please."
"Sure." Zosia nodded and Jac walked off. "Cause that's all I need today." She added exchanging a glance with Mo.
"Now, Doctor March!" Jac barked at her making her jump. The junior hurried after her, things would only get worse if she made her wait. "Close the door." The consultant instructed and Zosia did as she was told.
"Is this about the other night?" She asked immediate once she had closed the door. She couldn't stop herself. Jac turned around to face her and leaned against the edge of her desk, she looked at her in confusion as she came to a halt only a few feet from her.
"The other night?" She repeated, she clearly didn't know what she was talking about.
"That night when we…" She broke off the sentence there, surely the consultant remembered their indiscretion in the lab a few days ago.
"Oh." She frowned, clearly she had only just remembered and Zosia couldn't believe her disinterest. "No, it has nothing to do with that."
"So are we not even going to talk about what happened?" The junior burst out in frustration. For days she had been unable to think of anything else. She had been waiting for Jac to give her an indiction as to where she stood but all she had done was ignore her. It was driving her crazy, hence the sleepless nights.
"What is there to talk about?" The consultant asked with a frown.
"Are you serious?" Zosia exclaimed, she had had every intention of keeping her cool, she didn't want to look like an immature junior but she couldn't manage it. This was getting too much.
"Yes Doctor March and will you please lower your voice? There is no reason to shout." Jac crossed her arms in front of her chest.
"No reason? We sleep together and you ignore me the next three days!" Zosia took a step closer and Jac straightened up a little to remain assertive.
"It was one night, what do you want me to say?"
"Tell me where I stand, what's going to happen now?"
"Nothing is going to happen now. We had sex, so what?" The consultant shrugged impassively and the junior lost her cool completely.
"Are you fucking kidding? So what?!" She exclaimed taking another step towards her. Jac pushed off the desk to stand at full high. She wasn't going to be shouted at in her own office.
"Do you really think I'll let you talk to me like that?" She replied lowly, threateningly and calmly cutting through her rage.
"Oh, you let me do plenty worse to you." She shot back bitterly.
"Let's just be professional and move on, shall we?"
"No absolutely not! You can't just…" Zosia shook her head in defiance.
"What? Did I force myself on you? Not that I remember, I remember you being very eager." Jac crossed her arms again.
"You don't get to do this to me. You don't get to make me have feelings for you and then just ignore what happened between us." The junior retorted in anger. She tried to calm herself down, she didn't want her to think that this was her bipolar talking.
"Feelings? Please, Doctor March, who are you kidding?" Jac's icy laugh sent a shudder down Zosia's spine and not in a good way, she was trembling with rage. Who did Jac think she was? "It was one night. I'm sure you think you have all these feelings but you're not the first junior to have a crush on their consultant. What do you expect? A bunch of red roses? Have you met me?" Zosia clenched her fists holding her gaze, she was struggling to keep her anger in check, she was sure Jac could tell but still she wouldn't stop pushing her. "Let me make this very clear for you: We had fun. I know I did and you certainly seemed to be enjoying yourself so let's leave it at that."
"Who do you think you are that you can treat me like this?" Zosia's voice was full of spite.
"Come on, Zosia, do you really think you're the first junior I've fucked?" Jac laughed, she couldn't believe how persistent the junior was being. Using her first name was particularly cruel. That and her vulgarity tipped her over the edge, Zosia slapped her and Jac was actually caught off guard. She had underestimated how head-strong she was. "Do you always act out when you don't get what you want?" The consultant asked looking back at her. She didn't even touch her cheek that quickly turned red.
"I don't want you Jac!" She shot back.
"Then why are we having this conversation?"
"I don't want to want you, you're a class A bitch and I hate you for what you're doing to me." Zosia spat and Jac chuckled.
"Get over it Zosia, I'm not doing anything to you. People have sex. It doesn't have to mean anything. Did I give you any indication this was more than that? I certainly didn't make you or ask you to have feelings…"
"Just because you can't feel anything doesn't mean the rest of us can't!" She shouted.
"Maybe you should go cool off, come back when you're ready to get back to medicine and your job." Jac replied dismissively trying to push past her to go and sit behind her desk. For her the conversation was over. Zosia wasn't prepared to accept that. She placed her hand on the desk in front of the consultant blocking her way. "Get out before I forget myself." Jac threatened facing her again but Zosia held her gaze firmly.
"You really are unbelievable." She snarled.
"Get away from me." The consultant whispered furiously but she had lost control of the situation. Zosia pushed her against the desk and kissed her forcefully. Jac half-returned the kiss, she wasn't going to lose this battle but she pushed her away realising what she was doing. Zosia was surprisingly strong, she wrapped her arm around the consultant's slender frame and buried her other hand in her long hair. She jerked her head back and Jac winced in pain. She bit her lip trying to suppress the wave of arousal that washed over her. She hadn't thought the junior had it in her. Zosia paused for a second, for a moment she was in shock at her own actions but she quickly banished her doubts when she realised Jac's breathing had quickened and she had grabbed on to the desk tensely. She had never felt control like it. She tightened her grip on her hair and leaned in closer.
"See Jac, it's not fun when you're at the mercy of someone else."
"Well, depends on your idea of fun." Jac retorted with a smirk infuriating Zosia, she wanted nothing more than to wipe the grin off her face.
"Why do you always have to act like such a bitch?" She passed the words through clenched teeth.
"It's not an act, Zosia, so why don't you just get out before you do something that you'll regret."
"I hate you."
"I know." Jac smirked daring her to make her move, forcing her to make a decision. She had no expectations but she knew how to provoke a reaction. Zosia shook with anger, she let go off Jac who managed to hide her disappointment and took a step back. She knew if she allowed herself to fall for her again, she would have an even harder time picking herself up afterwards. She tried to compose herself, return to her professional self and almost managed it.
"I should go." She said and turned to leave.
"Yes go. I knew you were going to crack under the pressure. That's exactly why there was never going to be a second time." Jac laughed, she had done this dance enough times to know the outcome.
"You just couldn't shut up, could you?!" Zosia exclaimed. She turned back, grabbed the neckline of Jac's silk shirt and pulled her towards her. She ignored the ripping noise indicating she'd probably just ruined a quite expensive blouse. Jac stumbled, crashed into her, this time, she really hadn't expected her to turn back. "I hate you so fucking much." The junior growled as her other hand closed around her throat. There was a flicker in Jac's eyes, something between intrigue, surprise and even fear. The rush it gave Zosia was the best thing she had felt in days.
"I know." The consultant breathed repeating what they had already established. And then they kissed. Zosia allowed all of her anger to guide her, she didn't care about the consequences. She pushed Jac back against the desk, she bit her lip, almost drawing blood. The consultant struggled to try and regain some form of control but she couldn't manage it. She cried out in pain and lust when Zosia sank her teeth in the side of her neck. The junior didn't bother undressing either of them. She forced her thigh between Jac's legs and groped her breasts through her shirt. The consultant slid her hands underneath Zosia's shirt, she let it happen, she was too busy unbuttoning her dress trousers. Jac dug her nails into her back when she pushed her hand inside her underwear. The junior hardly felt it, she was too focused on the woman withering beneath her.
"Fuck, Zosia."
"Seems like you're really getting off on this." Zosia growled feeling her arousal against her hand. Before Jac could form a witty response, she pushed inside her roughly. It was an intoxicating mix of pain and pleasure. The consultant couldn't help but cry out as Zosia thrust again, harder. The junior put her other hand across her mouth to silence her, the walls to the office weren't nearly as thick as one would hope. Surely the whole ward had been able to follow their argument, there was no need for them to follow the aftermath. Jac pulled her closer, meeting her thrusts, she scratched her back painfully and Zosia bit her neck in return to muffle her own cry.
It wasn't long at all before she could tell Jac was getting close, it was incredible how much she had learned about her body in just one night of passion. It occurred to her she could just stop, leave her high and dry and see how she liked that. The consultant must have read her mind because she placed her hand on top of hers. She must have been able to tell from her slight hesitation and how her eyes had widened at the realisation.
"Don't you dare." She breathed and it was all Zosia needed to hear. She pulled awa and Jac growled in frustration. Zosia really wanted her to beg for more but she's clearly underestimated her. Without hesitation Jac grabbed her by the throat. "You seriously shouldn't have done that." Her tone was threatening and the momentum shifted in a heartbeat.
"You can't always get what you want." The junior tried to protest but Jac just laughed icily.
"I can make you do whatever I want, I'm pretty sure I've just proven that." She hissed and Zosia felt the same pull she had the other night. Her captivating confidence. She had such a strong hold on her. Jac smirked when the realisation dawned on Zosia that this whole time she had only let her think she was in control. She had played her, provoked her, read her perfectly. And what was worse was that Jac knew that all Zosia wanted deep down was her approval. She wanted to be hers. That's why her blatant disinterest had hurt her so much.
The realisation must have been painted all over her face because without another word, Jac forced her to her knees in front of her. Zosia didn't resist. She felt the consultant's hand in her hair commanding, demanding and she knew she'd not only lost this battle for control but also any hope of standing up to her ever again. She would have to learn to accept what she gave her and be grateful for it.
Jac smirked in approval when Zosia leaned forward and pulled her trousers and underwear down. She didn't dare look up at the consultant, she knew what was expected of her.
She pressed her tongue into her, she held on to her hips for support as Jac started to move against her. It didn't take much to get her back to the edge of climax. Zosia didn't have much experience but she was a quick learner. Her cheeks were burning at the image of it all. If someone had told her a week ago she would be on her knees in front of Jac Naylor, she probably would have slapped them. Now all she cared about was Jac's satisfaction with her performance.
"You're a natural, Doctor March." The consultant half-grinned, half-moaned and Zosia hated herself for how much her praise was making her heart swell. She ran her hands down her thighs and back up again, she could feel her muscles tense as she leaned back against the desk for support. She felt her grip in her hair tighten and she knew she was right on the edge. She grazed her with her teeth and Jac buckled against her when she came undone.
Zosia didn't stop until Jac pushed her away. Without thinking about it, the junior pulled her trousers back up for her as she stood up. The consultant smirked the tiniest bit as she buttoned them up.
"Does that clarify things for you?" She asked, she reached out and traced Zosia's wet lips with her finger tips. She met her gaze reluctantly, her cheeks were burning, she clenched and unclenched her fists, she wanted to say something, protest but there was nothing left to say. She averted her eyes and nodded.
"Good girl." Jac smirked and made her way around the desk to have a seat. "Now, get me a set of scrubs, I can't go on the ward like this." She gestured at her torn shirt. Zosia just starred at her, captivated once again. "Now, Doctor March. Surely you can take from this where you stand? Don't make me ask you again because what I'm taking from it is that you and I have different definitions of rough."