I was only 16 when everything went downhill. The drinking, the drugs, the cutting. Nobody ever understood why, and maybe that's why I want people to know. Everyone thought I was crazy, but in reality, I was just trying to find a way to become happy. Maybe I did it the wrong way, but I tried, which is more than some people ever do.

That's how I ended up where I am. I'm all alone here yet attending group therapy sessions everyday. I haven't been home in over a year. Not since my 17th birthday anyway. That's when my parents brought me here, said it would make me better. It hasn't yet and I don't think it ever will. The "therapists" and attendants here never let me out of their sight. I can't even shave my legs without someone watching me. They think I'm going to hurt myself. I haven't hurt myself since I've been here. Well I did once, but it had been an accident.

I was being led down the hall to another one of my "group therapy sessions". The routine was starting to get extremely boring to me. I would go in, take my seat, introduce myself to all the same people, and tell them about my problem. Everybody here knew my story. There was rarely someone who had never heard of me, even the newbie's. Everyone who came here knew who I was and what I had done to end up here. It hadn't been long before the rumours had started. But what most people didn't know was that most of those "rumours" were true and had been started by my own little brother.

Today was different. There was someone new in the group. He looked as though he were only a year older than I was.

"Oh. Athena. Thank you for gracing us with your presence. Now take your seat." The therapist said writing something onto her clipboard. I groaned and took my seat, which was beside the new guy. "Please begin." I sighed knowing that I was to go first, as usual.

"Well," I started, "My name is Athena Bailey, and I have a drinking problem, a drug problem and a self-mutilation problem." I heard the new guy gasp, and saw everyone look at him surprised. "What?" I snapped.

"How old are you?" He asked surprised.

"I'm 18." I muttered.

"And when did this start?"

"After my 16th birthday." I said glaring at him. "Why does it matter?"

"That's why I'm here." He said looking away. My jaw dropped and my eyes widened when he said that. I could hear the pain and fear in his voice.

"I'm sorry." was all I could manage to say. I didn't care that everyone was staring at us. I had never met another person who was in the same situation as me. The therapist cleared her throat.

"Thank you Athena." She said standing up. "I'd like to speak with you and Tony in private." That was the signal that the session was over, even though it was supposed to last for another 45 minutes. Tony and I followed her into her office as everyone else left the room.

"What do you want from me?" I asked plopping down into my chair. She had gotten it upholstered in pink and black for me, since I was in here so often. She sighed and shook her head as she pulled out two thick files, one was mine and the other one must have been Tony's.

"Since both of you are in here for the same reasons, I'd like you to get to know each other better. Tell each other exactly why you started doing those things, how long you were doing it before you got caught, and how your parents reacted to it." I looked at her surprised.

"You want me, to tell him, that?" She nodded. "You are absolutely crazy woman." I scoffed. Tony was standing by the door watching us.

"I don't mind." He said quietly. I looked back at him. "What? It would be nice to talk to someone who knows what it's like." I had to agree with him on that. Nobody here knew what it was like.

As soon as the door closed behind us I turned to him.

"Look," I said, "I don't care if we're both here for the same reason. I don't want to know anything about you. I've been here for a year and I'm tired of these bullshit therapy experiments. They never work. Nothing does. So if you want to get out of here, ever, you're going to have to learn to shut up and tell them what they want to hear. If you don't, you're going to end up like me. Stuck here for who knows how long. The only time I get to see the outside is when my 16 year old brother comes to visit me." I could feel the tears coming but I wasn't about to let this guy see me cry.

"How long have you been here?" He asked.

"Since my 17th birthday." I said. "I told you, it's a year today."

"So today's your birthday?" I nodded. He smiled.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said as his smile faded. "Guess that means a visit from your brother." I nodded again.

"Athena!" We both looked up to see my brother running towards us. "There you are! Doctor Dale said you were in your room, but you weren't so I got worried."

"I'm fine." I said hugging him. "Diesel, this is Tony. He's new here."

"Hi." Tony said smiling. "Your sister was just showing me around. I'm sorry to have made you worry about her." Diesel smiled.

"That's ok. I'm glad she's found a friend here." I shot him a look that said 'shut it'. He smiled again.

"Well I should go." Tony said. "I'll see you later." He said smiling at me. I rolled my eyes and looked at Diesel.

"So, mom and dad say anything about when I might be getting out of here?" I asked him.

"No. But they said that Doctor Dale told them you were getting better, and that you might be able to come home for Christmas." He sounded excited. I smiled at him. He was always excited when he heard good news about me. I had always been his role model, until my problems started. I was the one who told him not to do what I did, because things would change drastically. Everyone had noticed, but my parents just thought I was being a teenager, they never thought I had any problems.

"Come on." I said grabbing his hand. "Let's go get something to eat."

The next day was Sunday, which meant no therapy sessions for Tony and me, since we were the youngest people in our group. We were supposed to be telling each other about our problems, like Doctor Dale told us to, but instead we just sat in the den and told stories about the experiences about our childhood before our problems started. Tony had been in the chess club at his old school, but after he turned 17 he got into drugs and things just got out of control. My story was a little different. I had never been in any clubs; instead I had just been a quiet person that only had one friend. I had never really been able to make friends anyways, she had been the one to start the friendship, and she was how I ended up on drugs.

"So?" He asked. I looked at him confused. I hadn't heard what he had asked me.

"What?"

"Shouldn't we do what we were told to do?" I nodded. "Ok. Well, the reason I started drinking, was because my friends wanted me to celebrate my 17th birthday the 'right' way. The drugs started a few weeks later. I had just finished having a bottle of whiskey and I was having a little trouble walking, so I decided to sit down. I ended up sitting on a crate in an alley full of people doing drugs. One person came up to me and offered me something and I took it because my head was starting to hurt and he had told me that it would numb the pain for hours." I listened intently to every word he spoke, never interrupting him. "The cutting started a few months after that. The drugs were starting to drive me insane, I needed a way to control the insanity taking over me and the only way I could find was self-mutilation. It made me sane again, because I could actual feel something. I wasn't numb when I placed the blade on my skin. But even though I could feel pain when I cut, I still wanted to numb the pain, so I kept looking for ways to get drugs; I ended up stealing money from my parents. That's how they found out about my problem. And that's how I ended up here." I nodded, knowing he was done.

"My problem started the day after I turned 16. I had never really had many friends; I only had one my entire life. But my family life was perfect, yet I had never truly been happy. That's why I started drinking. My father had some liquor hidden away from my brother and I, which I had found. I had always seen it make people happy so I decided to drink it; I got carried away and drank it all, and I got worried that he would notice so I filled them all up with water and put them back. He never asked me about it, so I figured he never knew. The next morning I woke up with an excruciating headache, I called my friend and she told me to go find this guy outside the store near my house, and when I found him he gave me something to numb all pain ever felt. That's how I ended up addicted to drugs. The cutting started the same way as it did with you. I wanted to be able to feel something, but I hated the pain. My mom found me with a razor blade to my wrist. That's when they brought me here." Tears had started to fall from my eyes. He pulled me into a hug and would not let me go. "Tony?" I choked out.

"Yes?" He asked looking in my eyes.

"Is it crazy for me to think that this was fate?" He laughed a little and shook his head.

"Not at all." I sighed and hugged him tightly. I finally felt like a huge load had been lifted from my shoulders. I never remembered ever feeling that way before. It dawned on me then that, even though this may have been the worst place I had ever been in my life and the worst situation possible, I felt happy. Truly and honestly happy.