Secret Lust
She knew she couldn't ever really have him. He would never let her be with him like she wanted to, like she desired with all her heart and body to. She wasn't his main squeeze, she wasn't his priority. They both pretended it didn't matter, that only what happened in their stolen moments together mattered, that what was between them was more than late night flings. They both skirted around the topic of titles, or long term commitments. She could only be with him in secret, only meeting while performing midnight prefect duties in silent corridors and empty classrooms.
She watched from her place at the Gryffindor table across the room as he laughed and joked with his fellow Slytherins. She gazed at his flawless, thin face with a perfect nose; gray eyes that glistened beneath short blonde hair. She had been told that he looked exactly as his father did, and from the family portrait of the Malfoys in her History book, she couldn't disagree. He also had this air of confidence about him, something she admired, nearly envied. He was proud of himself, walking down the hallway he demanded everyone's respect, and they gave it to him unquestioningly. She sighed, placing her toast down on her plate. She wanted him. She wanted to be the one walking hand in hand with him in the halls between classes. She wanted to be the one whose face he would caress at the table, in front of his friends. She wanted to be the one he kissed passionately in front of the entire school. She wanted to be the one he ran up to after a victory, and wrapped in a tight hug of congratulations; or the one he consoled after a startling defeat at the hands of another house. She wanted to be the one so many others envied.
She knew she couldn't be that girl though. No matter what, he wasn't hers. He wasn't in love with her. He was in love with someone else, someone who she deeply cared for. Someone who had spent countless hours training on brooms with her, hurtling quaffles at her, offering tips so she could improve her technique as Gryffindor Keeper. Someone who had snuck books out of the library for her, so she could study for OWLs as she was stuck in the hospital wing after a hit to the head with a bludger. Someone who offered words of encouragement before any test, match, or risk she took. Someone who sat across from her at dinner parties at the Burrow, anticipating pranks to occur at the hands of their other cousins. She didn't want to hurt her cousin, she couldn't be the one to cause pain and hate. She didn't want to ruin Scorpius' life, either.
He had told her that he was in love, that he wasn't going to end his relationship, but that he wanted to be with her also. At the time she was stupid enough to give in to desire and lust. She was happy for the time being with stolen glances across the Great Hall, silent nods in classes, lustful smirks on the Quidditch Pitch. She was content with secret meetings, and cryptic notes. She was satisfied as long as he came back, and he always did. He always hailed her into a corner to snog for a while. He always grabbed her from a rushing crowd into empty classrooms to feel her bare skin beneath his fingertips. She knew he had never dared with her cousin, he had never pressured her into anything, and she knew her cousin wouldn't permit that, she was only a third year, after all. But she did. Rose did. And she believed it to be the reason he returned to her. She knew it was wrong, he was dating her younger cousin, and they were seen together everywhere. They were the 'cutest' and most popular couple in Hogwarts.
Lily Potter and Scorpius Malfoy, years apart but both in Slytherin, playing for the Qudditch team. Rose Weasley was no one. She was just Albus Potter's smart cousin, or Lily Potter's best friend. She wasn't the smartest girl in school, Alice Longbottom held that title, and she wasn't the prettiest, Roxanne Weasley claiming that one for herself. She didn't care though. She let all of that slide. She just wanted to be Scorpius Malfoy's girlfriend. But it couldn't happen. She wouldn't devastate Lily in such a way; she wouldn't shame her family because of lustful desire. She wouldn't make Scorpius hate her, either. So for now, she watched as he wiped crumbs from Lily's face at breakfast. She waited for the match to start, Lily as Chaser and Scorpius as Seeker, against her, Rose, as Keeper. She waited for the suggestive glances he would throw her way in the match; she waited for the playful banter amongst them as he hovered around the goal posts; she waited for yet another day as Scorpius' secret lust filled partner, traitor to her cousin and best friend.
A/N: so that's my first story.. still undecided if this should be a one shot.. or to add another chapter. what do you think? want some more of this? let me know. in a sweet little review! ;)