Disclaimer: I do not own these characters - it's all the creation of Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play with them.
A/N: Part of the Livejournal community, twc, May 24th writing challenge with the theme being tattoo. I tried not to belittle Emmett's intelligence because he is smart, he just also has a great sense of humor. Anyway, reviews are appreciated.
"Edward, I want to get a tattoo," Emmett proclaimed, barreling into Edward's room.
"Thank you for knocking, Emmett. Yes, I'm fine and yourself? Lovely weather, isn't it?" Edward replied, not hiding the displeasure from his voice. Not that he and Bella were doing anything, but in a house with such little privacy, certain courtesies were appreciated. Emmett only rolled his eyes in response.
"Of course you're fine, you're a vampire and Bella is here," he pointed out the obvious, giving a little wave to acknowledge her presence.
"Hi, Emmett. What kind of tattoo were you thinking about?" she replied with a light laugh. Edward shot her a frustrated glance. Why was his angel playing along with Emmett? He decided to try and ignore them, sifting through his CD selection to put something on. Emmett grinned and joined Bella on the couch, annoying Edward further.
"I'm not sure yet. Maybe a bear; it would be pretty symbolic, wouldn't it? A snarling, vicious grizzly. Maybe I could ask Jasper to draw something up for me to take to the parlor, the documentary said it would be a good idea to have an idea for the artist to go on."
"Documentary?"
"Yeah, it was on Discovery or something. It's actually a really interesting process; I never realized that they truly are artists and just as passionate about their work as a musician or painter. I suppose I had the misconception that they were all sketchy alley artists using dirty needles," Emmett replied with a thoughtful look.
"Those would be drug dealers, Emmett," Edward shot in darkly.
"Where were you thinking of getting it?" Bella asked showing no signs of having heard Edward who continued to pout by the CD player.
"That's for me to know and Rosalie to find out," Emmett replied, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Emmett!" Edward sharply broke in. "Don't you have someone else to bother? Where's Rosalie?"
"I'm kidding! You're no fun Edward. Esme took Carlisle to Home Depot or one of those home improvement stores to look at paint samples. She wants to redo the downstairs apparently. Alice and Rosalie went shopping in Seattle, apparently their favorite store is having a big sale. Jasper locked himself in his room with a sign on the door that said he was reading and if I interrupted then he'd crush my X-Box. And I'm lonely, I just wanted to spend time with some family," Emmett added with a puppy face. Edward huffed and continued sifting.
"You can hang out with us for as long as you want, Emmett. It's not like we're doing anything special anyway," Bella said giving Emmett a hug. Edward growled when Emmett stuck his tongue out at Edward.
"Hey, Edward, you're decent at drawing. Wasn't that one of those things accomplished gentlemen had to learn in your day?" Edward refused to reply, instead placing a Berlioz compilation into his sound system. Emmett hated music without words and Edward was hoping it would drive him away. "Bella, how are you at drawing? Want to make a sketch of my bear?"
"I'm really not that spectacular. Besides, I'd probably end up stabbing Edward with a pencil."
"What?" Edward looked up, confused.
"It's not important," Bella stated. "Besides, can vampires actually get tattoos? The ink goes into the skin and stains it. I don't think a needle could go through even the top layer of skin."
Finally, she's helping me! Edward thought. It's about time. He glanced at Emmett who looked thoughtful once more.
"Well, how do they dye pavement?"
"They don't dye it, they paint on top of it," Edward replied.
"Maybe we could get some of that paint; it's pretty resistant. Do you think Esme would pick up some on her way home?"
"Why don't you just give up on the idea of getting a tattoo, Emmett? It's just not possible," Edward stated, shaking his head.
"You really are no fun, Edward. Just because we're no longer human doesn't mean we can't have any fun. I'll figure this out, even without your help," Emmett rose and left the room, slamming the door behind him. A crack rose above the doorway. Edward sighed, getting up and took Emmett's place next to Bella on the couch. Bella curled into him, resting her head on his shoulder. After a few moments of silence, she spoke.
"I think I want a tattoo now, too." Edward simply looked at her with a look of astonishment. "Something classy, like a star or a heart."
"You hate needles," Edward replied with a grin. Bella bit her lip as if in concentration, but she was trying to hide her smile.
"I just wouldn't watch."
"Please, Bella, never mar your flawless skin with ink stains. You're beautiful without the artwork, it would only take away from it," Edward said seriously, lightly caressing her cheek and looking into her eyes.
"You know I was joking. You don't need to dazzle me," she smiled at him. Before Edward could reply, they heard shouting below them.
"Emmett, can't you read? The sign specifically says not to bother me!" Jasper roared.
"I'm bored! I wanted to use your laptop," Emmett whined. "But since you're out here, would you mind drawing me a bear?"
"What? No! You have a laptop!"
"Rosalie broke it! She threw it at me a few nights ago and it's getting repaired."
"Emmett, I warned you!" Bella couldn't hear anything, but Edward was grimacing.
"That's going to be the sixth X-Box 360 we've gone through this year," Edward said as a sickening crunch was heard, followed by more shouts and bangs. "Let's go to the meadow. I don't want any part in the damage assessment when Esme comes back." With that, Edward picked Bella up and left out the upstairs window, not daring to go downstairs in the scuffle.