AN: A little twist on what happened when Rude is betrayed by Chelsea. Christmas themed(ish) or at least holiday themed because I'm pretty sure they don't have Christmas in the FF7 world. But...uh...it's not very happy. I really recommend you listen to 'Silent Night' (the carol) while reading this, it really does add something. Warning: Contains rape (or Non-con if you prefer...but to be honest non consensual sex is rape its pointless giving it a softer seeming name)

Silent Night

The tree was lit, people meandered around, talking, laughing. Couples held hands, passing by without hardly a glance at the tall, muscle bound man in the dark suit, lingering on the outskirts as he always did. His eyes, hidden by sunglasses, were locked onto that tree. It was fake, nothing grew in Midgar, but it was pretty and the snow had started to fall. It landed on his shoulders, settling on the top of his head only to melt and run down his neck, chilling his skin. He stood still, watching in silence, the only movement the steady rise and fall of his breath as it plumed before him in the frozen night air.

He remembers the flash of a smile, pink tinted lips, long dark hair. He remembers the feel of it, soft in his hand as he leans down to press his own lips against hers...

A couple walked past him, hand-in-hand. The woman leaned against the man, a smile on her lips and both had scarves wrapped around their throats. The snow continued to fall, silent and still like the man in the shadows.

"Rude..." She whispers his name, voice shaking just a little as her small hand lifts to cup the side of his face.

"Chelsea."

"Oh it's so pretty!" One woman exclaims, her gloved hand rising to point at the tree, covered in lights like stars. "I love this place, its so romantic. Thank you."

"No problem. Hey, do you...do you want to go get some food?"

"That would be wonderful."

Rude watched them leave, the couple holding hands tightly and leaning on each other. He looked away.

"I didn't want...Rude...I-I'm sorry..."

He can't say anything. The words stick in his throat, they taste like bile as he swallows them back. He should have known, he should have never have thought someone would be interested in him. Someone as sweet and kind as her. He frowns, turning away but that soft hand touches his arm and he freezes.

"Rude, please..."

"Get off of me." He growls, the voice that leaves him isn't one he's ever used on her. It's forbidding, it's dangerous, it gives her a brief taste of what he really is and she hesitates. She pulls back, frightened now, as she should be. He had been warned, he had been told but he had assumed Reno had just been jealous. How wrong could he have been? He had been taken in by her lies, by her sweet, trusting smile. It was pathetic.

"I know...what I did...what I was going to do was-was wrong but I..."

"Just shut up." Rude turns his back and walks away, leaving her standing in the cold night air, tears streaming silently down her pink cheeks. He leaves her alone and knows what is supposed to happen now, what has to happen because if there's even the tiniest chance she has gained access to his phone or any information at all, it would endanger everything. He walks away and tries not to hear the click of the guns safety being pulled back, he closes his eyes, letting his feet move for him and tries to block out the sound of a silenced bullet and the soft thud of a body hitting the floor. He doesn't look back because he knows what he's going to see; red hair framing a pale face, breath steaming like smoke, black suit dishevelled and weight cocked onto one hip as Chelsea's assassin stares down at her corpse. Rude walks and still feels his partner's eyes on his back, like a laser beam hitting him between the shoulder blades.

Reno stood above Chelsea's body, watching his partner retreat. They didn't have a choice, it was too dangerous to let her go. Her eyes were wide, tears slowly freezing to her cheeks as Reno bent and gently closed her eyes, he sighed and tipped his head back, looking up at the snow filled sky. The alley was silent, no one moving around and Reno returned his gun slowly to its holster beneath his jacket. He shivered, pulling the scarf closer around his throat and withdrawing his PHS. He flipped it open and hit Tseng's number. "It's done." He muttered, eyes closing and he hung up. Now was not the time for long reports, he wanted only one thing in that moment as he waited for clean-up to arrive and that was to check Rude was ok.

Rude lifted a hand and wiped wet snow from his head, shivering a little in the cold. He closed his eyes, savouring the quiet as less and less couples came to view the tree. Finally he was completely alone and he walked over to the tree, staring up at it and wondering what might have happened if things had been different, if Reno's instincts hadn't been right.

He heard him before he saw him, smelt him before he even got close. He didn't need to turn around to see Reno standing behind him, a heavy black coat on now, the red scarf Gun had given him for the holidays wrapped around his neck and thick woollen gloves on his hands. He heard him sniff, the only sound Reno allowed to escape him since appearing. "Is it...?" Rude couldn't finish that sentence and didn't really need to.

"In the back of the head. Made sure she didn't see nothin'...painless." Rude nodded slowly, eyes never deviating from the tree. "Rude..." Rude heard Reno step forward but stepped away from his outstretched hand, he turned and moved towards the street.

"Come on."

"Rude...?"

Rude shook his head slowly, still avoiding Reno's eyes. "Let's go home, the party's started, yeah?"

"Rude."

Rude came to a halt, hands curling into fists. "I'm not in the mood, Reno."

"I..."

Rude could almost feel Reno looking down at his snow covered boots, he could hear him shifting nervously, uncertain about where he stood now. There was a distance between them, a distance filled with bitter anger, undeserved accusations and a few wild punches. "I know. You had to do it, boss ordered it. I know, Reno." Rude could barely keep the bitter twist in his words under control and he heard Reno take a sharp little breath, as if he'd stabbed him.

"Y-yeah...I guess..."

"You go to the party, I'm sure the others are waiting." Rude sighed, moving on, heading back towards HQ and leaving his partner behind in the snow covered street.

Her laughter haunted him as he entered his apartment, listening to the familiar hiss as the automatic door closed behind him. He stood in the entrance hall, simply breathing. Then he reached up and loosened his tie, shrugging off his jacket and then turned to hang it up. He strode into his living room, looked briefly at the TV but went straight to his kitchen, pulling out a bottle of whiskey from a cupboard before returning to his living room and throwing himself down onto the sofa. He heard the springs creak and remembered...

The bed springs creak beneath them, hands clutching, mouths locked together. Their breaths the only sound in the dark hotel room. He feels her breasts beneath his hands, her stuttering heartbeat beneath his palms. Her thick hair falls against his chest, brushing his skin and sending more sensation through his overheated body. She whispers his name into his ear, sending a shiver over his skin...

"Rude..."

"Chelsea." He muttered her name into the dark, looking down at the bottle in his hand. He lifted it and took a deep swig before coughing as he drew it away again. He closed his eyes, rubbing at them beneath his glasses. There was a hesitant knock on his door, Rude looked up but didn't move to open it right away.

"Rude? Partner?"

Rude sighed, taking another swig, determined to ignore Reno.

"I know you're in there, yo. C'mon, open up..."

Finally Rude stood, walking heavily to the door and pushing the button to open it. Reno stood there, looking up at him, lips parted, cheeks flushed with cold. His wild hair was damp from snow and some of it lingered on the shoulders of his dark coat. "Go away." Rude growled, unable to deal with Reno at the moment. He stepped back, the door starting to close but Reno prevented it with his boot. The door made an odd squealing sound, Rude turned and blinked as Reno pulled it open and stepped into the hall.

"I ain't gunna leave ya. Not like this." He said, eyes lowered, unable to meet Rude's angry gaze. He was unusually subdued, hands clenching and unclenching in nervous spasms. "Don't leave me out in the cold like this, man. We're...we're supposed ta be partners..."

Rude didn't reply as he turned around and returned to his living room, tipping the bottle to his lips and drinking. Reno followed him, eyes darting around, on edge and unstable. "You killed her." Rude said finally, sitting back on his sofa and watching Reno stand by the door to the living room, snow melting and leaving trails of water down his face like tears.

"I had to." Reno replied, lifting a hand and running it through his damp hair, mouth twisting bitterly. "You know I did."

"You killed her. I want you to go."

Reno shook his head, eyes wide, sparkling blue in the lights from outside the window. He shed his coat, throwing it over the arm of a nearby chair, Rude watched it, hearing Reno's light footsteps over the carpet as he drew closer. The red scarf joined the coat, lying over the black like blood. "I did what I had ta do, yo. You know it."

"Perhaps."

"Don't pu' the blame on me, I ain't gunna be your whippin' boy."

"...blame? Who said anything about blame? You did what you did. I accept that. It's fact; you killed her. I don't want you around for a while."

Cold hands snatched the bottle from Rude's lax grip, Reno looked him in the eye as he tipped it back and took a swallow. Rude watched his throat work before he drew the bottle away from damp lips, tongue running out and catching the drops left there. "I know ya don', yo. But I ain't gunna give ya a choice."

"Leave, Reno." Rude snapped suddenly, standing up and towering over his partner. He grabbed the lapel of his jacket and lifted him almost off his feet. Reno was five feet ten, certainly not a small man but he was no match for Rude's height. "Get. The. Fuck. Out."

Reno's eyes moved down, a crease formed between his eyes as Rude shoved him backwards. He snatched the bottle from Reno's fingers and gave him a harder push, Reno stumbled back a few more steps. "Ya loved her." Reno muttered, rubbing at his head as he looked at the floor. "I know tha'...I jus'..."

"Stop it. Just get out of my apartment, I don't want company."

Reno swallowed, eyes lifting slowly. They were dark as he observed his friend warily, like a fox about to bolt at the first sign of trouble. "I'm sorry." He said in a soft voice, something that didn't sound like the Reno Rude thought he had known. "Really...I...I'm sorry. I wish I hadn't been right."

"Sorry? You think 'sorry' is gunna make it all better? The fact that you were so jealous you stalked me?"

"J-jealous...?" Reno snorts, trying to brush it all off with a casual shrug. "I wasn't-"

"You were. I know what I saw."

"Rude...I was worried about you, man."

"Worried?" It was Rude's turn to snort, he took another drink from the bottle and pointed it accusingly at Reno who almost flinched. "You were worried about yourself, it's all you ever worry about. You thought she was gunna take me away from you; well, news flash, partner, I don't belong to you."

Reno's mouth lifted in a bitter smile. "Heh, guess you're right, partner. Guess I let my feelin's get the better of me this time..." He swallowed, eyes narrowing a little as he turned his back. "I jus'...Fuck, Rude...Are you fuckin' blind behind those sunglasses?" Reno said suddenly, turning and eyes widening as hands curled into fists. "Can't ya see it?" His voice held a desperate edge to it that Rude had never heard before.

"See what?"

Reno opened his mouth but snapped it shut again. "Guess it doesn't matter, yo. Not anymore." He turned away, moving to his coat again but Rude stood up.

"Reno...what do you mean?"

"Nothin' man. Enjoy your booze, I'm gunna go. Leave ya in peace, yeah?"

Rude watched him go but before he could think he put the bottle down on the coffee table and strode after him, he saw the door closing behind Reno and followed.

Reno stood outside, he looked back at the massive ShinRa building. Inside people were celebrating the holidays, partying and laughing. He should have been there too, with Rude at his side but he wasn't. He turned away, head low and started heading for the train station and the slums. He would go down to Wall Market, pick up some slut and forget himself for a while in hot flesh.

He felt her tense as he lay a gentle hand on her shoulder, she took a sharp breath, eyes wide and glued to Rude's retreating back. Reno leaned close to her, lips brushing the shell of her ear. "Ya knew this was comin'."

Chelsea shuddered but nodded stiffly. "I knew."

Reno pressed the gun to the back of her head, a place where she would die instantly. "I'm gunna make it easy on ya, jus'..." He wasn't sure what he was going to say just then, relax? Who could relax with a gun against their head? "I'm no' doin' it for you, yo."

A nervous, high pitched laugh escaped her numb lips. "I know. You...you and Rude..."

"Partners."

"No. It's more than that...that's too simple, too easy for you two."

"Shut up."

"Does he know?"

Reno swallowed, eyes closing. "Doesn't matter to you, not anymore."

Chelsea stiffened further as she heard the soft click of the safety being pulled slowly back. Her hands clenched into fists at her sides as Rude's huge form turned around a corner and disappeared from sight. Her eyesight blurred, her throat burned but she didn't let the last tears fall. "Tell him...tell him I loved him, please, I need him to know."

Reno stared at the back of her head, knowing that Rude had had his fingers tangled in that thick hair. Knowing that the lips she was speaking with had known Rude's. He swallowed hard, pressing the gun against her head so she could feel the cold metal. "Do ya think ya deserve that? You betrayed him."

Chelsea sighed, eyes closing, head falling back as cold snow collected on her face. "No...I guess not. I know you hate me and I can't blame you, just make sure Rude's ok. Make sure he doesn't...doesn't hurt himself."

"I always do, baby." Reno pulled the trigger then, feeling her body jerk under his hands and as he stepped back he let her fall to the ground.

The hotel room was dingy, the sheets crinkled and stained but Reno didn't care. He concentrated on the hot lips against his own, hands tangling in dark hair. He shivered as the strangers hand slid down his body, reaching into his tight pants. "Fuck." Reno gasped, arching as cool fingers closed around his cock and started moving.

"You like that?" The man whispered, biting at Reno's throat.

"Yeah..."

"Want more?"

"Fuckin' give it to me." Reno gasped, the man drew away and smiled down at him but before either of them could even think to move the door burst open. The man turned and yelped as a huge, leather-clad hand emerged from the shadows and pulled him up and off of Reno by the scruff of his shirt. He was thrown bodily towards the door.

"Get out. Now." Rude growled low in his throat and the man squawked, gathering his things before fleeing.

"What the fuck, Rude!" Reno leapt to his feet, ignoring his undone pants and glaring at his partner.

"You're gunna let some guy you don't even know fuck you?"

"What the hell is your problem?"

"My problem is you." Rude stepped close, grabbing Reno's shirt and yanking him up, his feet left the floor and he was slammed roughly into the wall. "You and your stupid mouth. You and your ridiculous hair. You and your damned self-destructive tendencies! I am not your babysitter!"

"Then why're ya here?! I never asked you ta-"

Rude pushed him into the wall again, one thigh inserted between Reno's legs. He watched Reno's lips part, a soft gasp escaping him and realised what was happening a split second too late. Reno's mouth was on his, hands rising, cupping the back of his head, nails digging into his scalp. Rude shuddered, fists tightening on Reno's shirt as he ripped it open, scattering buttons everywhere. Reno groaned, pushing his tongue into Rude's mouth and holding him close. Then he yanked himself away, allowing Reno to drop to the floor. He turned his back, moving towards the door in several long strides. "Rude!" Reno's voice stopped him, he paused, fingers brushing the door handle. "Don' ya dare walk away from me!"

The anger and hurt was obvious, Reno could hide most things from most people but not from Rude. "Is this why you followed me? Why you agreed to be the one to kill her?" He asked suddenly, turning and looking at Reno. He was crouched a little by the window where Rude had left him, his chest rising and falling in sharp little pants. His trousers hung from his hips loosely, his eyes glued to Rude's. In that moment Reno resembled nothing more than a wild animal; hair a mess around his pale face, eyes fiery, the instinct of fight or flight strong in him.

"No." Reno whispered, hands unclenching slowly and his back straightening. "I did it...I did it so you didn't have to."

"That's bullshit." Rude scoffed, stepping forward again.

"Oh? An' how do ya know that? Tseng tol' me it had ta be done bu' none o' the rookies would'a been able ta pull it off! You know tha', yo! I know how ya felt about her! I know you loved her an' she loved you! I couldn' le' ya have her blood on your hands!" Reno's stance was unnaturally nervous, he lifted his shaking hands and pulled his shirt closed as if suddenly embarrassed by it. Rude moved closer again, each step sure and steady.

"You wanted her gone. I know you did, you said as much when you tried to tell me she was a spy."

"Yeah...maybe I did, yo. Maybe I did wan' her outta your life because I-I..." He cut himself short, shaking his head so his short red hair fell into his eyes. He lifted a hand and pushed it out of his face, frowning angrily at the floor. "So wha'...I was jealous. Rude...What did you mean by tha' kiss?" Reno's voice was uncertain, he looked up at Rude as he drew closer again, eyes wide and pleading for some sort of answer. Anything he could understand. Instead Rude grabbed him, pulling him close, feeling the heat of his body against his own. Reno was trembling slightly as Rude dragged a hand underneath his shirt, twisting the fabric around his fingers and yanking it so it trapped Reno's arms behind him. His free hand slid down into the front of his trousers, thick fingers wrapping firmly around his waning erection. Reno gasped, eyes widening and hips bucking up into that almost painfully tight grip. He swallowed a lump that was forming in his throat, his breathing harsh and ragged. "R-Rude..."

"Shut up." Rude grumbled, frowning as he released Reno's cock and turned him around. He pushed him face-first into the bed and positioned him so his knees were on the floor. Reno struggled but Rude pressed his face into the dirty mattress. "You wanna fuck? I can do that."

"Rude...the fuck, man?!"

"Problem?"

"Get off o' me!"

"You wanted this."

"No!"

"You just said you were jealous, right?"

"Y-yeah...but fuck, man...no' like this..."

"Like what? Like I'm some kinda stranger? I don't want to look at you while I'm fucking your ass, Reno."

Reno gasped again, those incredibly strong hands moving over his body, arms pinned by his restricting shirt. He tried to throw Rude off of him but the man was simply too strong and too heavy, Reno's strength lay in his speed, he was helpless in such close quarters. Trapped and feeling horribly vulnerable. "Not like this. Not like this...Rude..."

"You owe me." Rude hissed into Reno's pierced ear, grabbing a handful of his red hair and yanking his head up and back, exposing his throat. He watched it bob as Reno swallowed, taking sharp, shallow breaths as Rude ran his hand over the flat plane of his stomach. He traced the defined muscles, running a finger down the 'v' that led to his groin. He tied Reno's shirt firmly around his wrists, ensuring there really was no escape for him. He felt Reno shudder, a slight tremor in his breathing as Rude pushed a hand into his underwear and once again caught hold of his cock. He felt Reno arch against him, moaning softly, eyes closing as he slowly relaxed. "There, now stay quiet and let me use you."

Reno's lips parted, head falling back against Rude's shoulder. "Rude..." He muttered, feeling one of Rude's hands curl around his vulnerable throat and squeeze. He frowned, still refusing to open his eyes, he didn't want to see that it was Rude treating him like this. He didn't want to remember Rude's face in the morning and associate it with the bruises he knew he would have. That little piece of guilt he still held in his chest was as sharp as a blade, he hoped that maybe if he let Rude have his way it might ease, even if only a little. Teeth scraped his ear, biting down hard enough to leave a mark, Reno jerked in Rude's hands, teeth bared but he didn't let another sound escape his lips. The hand released his throat, allowing Reno a moment to catch his breath. He heard the sound of Rude's fly and then a soft thunk as his belt hit the floor. Reno was shoved forward once again, one hand pressed against the back of his head. The mattress smelt vaguely of old sweat and cheap perfume, he bit down hard on his bottom lip and felt the soft caress of leather on his skin as Rude dragged his fingers over his hips and pushed open his legs. Reno squirmed, he wanted it over with. He didn't know why Rude wanted to draw out this torture any longer than he had to. A tiny tremor of fear rippled up Reno's spine as he felt Rude's fingers, still covered in leather, probe at his ass hole. He jerked away from it on instinct, forcing his head up briefly only to have it pushed more firmly into the stinking sheets. He couldn't breathe, couldn't catch his breath. "No...p-please.." Reno heard himself gasp, feeling a sudden wave of sickness engulf him.

"Shut up, Reno." Rude growled in response, pressing him further into the sheets to muffle anymore sounds. He didn't want to see Reno's face, twisted in pain as he shoved his fingers into him right up to the knuckle. He didn't want to be reminded of what he was doing, he didn't want to think or feel or know. It was better this way. He was drunk and he was angry and hurt. There was no one else for him to hurt like this, no one else who deserved it. He put himself into the same state he did when he was on the job, cold and detached, distanced from the pain he was causing and focussed entirely on his actions, on the rush of pleasure he got when Reno bucked against his cock which stiffened in response. "Fuck." He gasped, pushing back against Reno's body, moving his fingers slowly in and out of Reno's ass, watching them as he did so. His glasses slid a little down his nose, he frowned in concentration as he finally deemed his partner ready. He withdrew, feeling Reno's body tremble a little.

Reno tried to cry out as he felt Rude's cock pressing against his ass, it was big, he knew it was and he was no where near prepared enough. He braced himself, preparing for the pain as his erection started to flag and the air in his lungs started to become stagnant. He needed to breathe, he needed oxygen but Rude didn't look as if he was going to let him up any time soon. Rude entered him roughly, Reno jerked in his hands, releasing a breathless sob into the mattress. He heard Rude grunt behind him, one hand digging fingers deep into his hip, the other tightening in his hair and yanking too hard. Pain stung Reno's nerves, he tried to turn his head to the side to get some air into his aching lungs but Rude didn't let him. This was not how Reno had imagined this going, it wasn't how he had wanted it but he decided he would take whatever he could get. Even if Rude only ever fucked him when he was angry, when he needed to release that dangerous pent up energy. Reno was his partner, and he would die for Rude...even after this.

It was fast and agonising. Reno stifled his cries, biting his bottom lip bloody. He felt Rude's thrusts speed up, he felt him reaching his limit before he abruptly pulled out. He grabbed Reno and threw him back onto the floor, on his back so his hands were crushed beneath him. Reno took a desperate, sobbing gasp of air just as Rude took his cock in one hand, eyes closed. Reno's eyes had time to widen as he realised what was going to happen. Rude's come hit his face. He winced, turning his head away a little, breathing unsteady as Rude's groans filled his ears. Reno lay still, frozen in that position as he heard Rude zip himself away and stand up, hands tugged him and rolled him onto his side and Rude untied his shirt from around his wrists. Reno let his body go limp, feeling it ache horribly. He closed his eyes and brought his hands around to his front as he rubbed at his wrists to bring the feeling back into them. After a moment he sat up, wincing and hissing in pain that brought tears to his eyes. He blinked them away and picked up his ruined shirt again, this time using it to wipe up his face. He looked up, afraid of what he would see but Rude was already gone. The silence closed in on him, crushing him under its weight as he climbed unsteadily to his feet and started to gather his clothes.

XXX

Rude watched Reno arch his back, hands curling deep into the other man's hair as he sucked his cock. He felt his own cock twitch in response and wondered how it had degraded into something like this, he wondered how they could have reached this point where Rude had to watch Reno fuck other guys from the shadows. He wondered what had happened to fuck everything up so royally.

After Meteorfall he had hoped to find some sort of redemption, he tried to apologise for all the pain but Reno had simply laughed, brought his cigarette to his lips and blown out smoke. He had leaned against the wooden bannister of Healen Lodge and looked down over the valley, his long hair falling over his shoulder. "Fuck your apologies partner." He had whispered hoarsely, looking down as if willing the drop to pull him over the edge, to drag him down to the jagged rocks below. Rude watched his mouth move, remembering how it felt on his cock, how it had felt against his own all those years ago in that frigid hotel room, the only time they had ever kissed. "Take 'em and shove 'em up your pretty ass." Reno jerked back from the edge, eyes wild and full of heat. The most beautiful thing Rude had ever seen, he was astounded when he realised it. He stared but couldn't bring himself to speak. Reno flicked his half-smoked cigarette over the bannister and turned to the door. He lifted a hand in a casual wave. "I murdered your girl, you needed ta take it out on someone, yo...better me than someone else. Someone with a little less blood on their hands." He turned and looked at Rude over his shoulder, one hand pushed deep into his pocket and Rude could remember the look of fear and betrayal on his face, shrouded in shadows as he had left him lying broken on the floor. "I don' need no apology..." Reno hesitated, blinking a little as the sun rose behind them on a new day...a day neither of them had dared hope to see. "You know how I feel." His voice was little more than a whisper and the smile he gave Rude was bitter, twisted and painful. He walked away, this time he was the one leaving Rude alone with his thoughts and his pain and guilt. Leaving him alone in silence.

And now Rude was reduced to watching Reno's attempts to lose himself in sex and drink. He was reduced to standing on the sidelines, waiting for the moment Reno would fall apart, for the moment Reno would fall into his arms and beg him to hurt him again. His trembling hands sliding up Rude's chest, his eyes hazy, his body shuddering in desperation. He had become addicted to the pain, to the horrible silence it caused between them and when the day came...that day when they used to light up the tree in Midgar, Rude would find himself forcing Reno to his knees, bending him over the nearest available surface and fucking him bloody. Afterwards, Rude would put his trousers back on, he would walk away and go to bed alone, hearing Reno's whimpers and gasps ringing in his ears. He would lie in the silence, knowing Reno was next door doing the same, perhaps nursing his injuries. They would try to sleep only to wake up the next morning and pretend it had never happened, until the next year and the year after until there were no more years left for them anymore.