AN:
Just something that has been haunting me to write for a long time.
Three-shot.
AU.
Oh, yeah- all of Santana's songs are actually made by Lana Del Rey. They're just used to make this love story even better.
Love is the ultimate power, and the most important thing in society. When you find your soulmate and other half, you change forever.
Some people think this is bullshit. Some believe in it, hoping to find true love. The ones who doesn't they're a disgrace for the society and their families.
Brittany is a believer.
Santana is not.
Legend says that the Greek Gods created the human originally with a two faced head, four arms and four legs, but felt threatened by their creation and split the human in two separate parts, and was bound to spend their lives searching for their other half.
It's impossible to find love in someone who isn't your soulmate. If you don't find them, you're bound to live your life alone.
She doesn't even blink when she steps out in the rain and the door behind her slams. Just after a few minutes she is drenched to the bone.
She can't feel.
It has always been like this. She does feel pain, but it doesn't affect her. Like is does in the books about love. She can still feel the drugs she's on though, making her stumble a little but she quickly takes control again. She has always lived like this, like she's numb. She had mind-blowing sex just minutes ago, but she still felt numb.
She shivers. But she's not sure if it's because of the rain or if it's about the thought of her parents finding out about the fact that she just had sex with someone who isn't her mate.
The people that passes her on the street is eyeing her. Maybe they recognise her. Some of them look at her with a worried look, while some of them look at her like she's something that the cat dragged in.
Most of them are couples. Pitying her.
They say that once you find your mate for life, you can't even stand the thought of being away from each other, even if it's just for a minute.
Pathetic.
She scowls at the next couple that throws her a look of pity, they're sharing an umbrella, and their arms are wrapped around each other's midsection.
She hurries past them and turns the corner of the street, quickly rushing past another couple and stops at a street light just a block from her apartment. The feeling of the sweater clinging to her body makes her shiver again, and this time she is sure that it's because of the rain.
The cars stop, and she's allowed to walk across the street. Her brown hair is slicked against her neck and she tries to swap it away with her hand, but there's no point.
She takes out the keys to her apartment as she turns another corner and can see her complex from there.
In the elevator she takes a look of herself in the whole length mirror, watching in silence as her clothes drip with water and creates a pool of water on the floor.
When she turns the key in the lock, a loud and happy bark comes from inside of the door, and she smiles for the first time today. Inside, she's met by her golden retriever, Nova. He happily stands on the back of his legs and puts his paws on her shoulders to lick her face as a greeting. She chuckles and puts her own arms around him to hug him back.
After she has hung up her wet clothes in her bathroom, and put on some new ones, Nova follows her into the kitchen and she fills his bowl, and then she opens the fridge as he eats and take out the pizza leftovers. She watches him, her miracle, as she eats too.
Just when she's finished, her phone rings and she hurries to answer with Nova in her heels.
"Hello?" she answers as Nova sit down next to where she's standing, looking up at her with his brown eyes.
"Hello, Satan."
She rolls her eyes.
"What do you want?" she asks, while she pets Nova's head.
"Bad day?" the voice asks in return, and she chuckles.
"Kind of."
"I'm coming over. And I'm bringing ice cream."
She doesn't bother getting up when her front door opens and Nova starts to bark loudly while running to the source of the noise. A familiar face soon stands in the door opening.
"I brought Moulin Rouge." Kurt tells her as he sits down next to her in her brown leather couch and hands her two cups of Ben & Jerry's.
She just nods in return while he gets up to get two spoons.
They sit in opposite ends of the couch as the movie rolls.
"You should stop hanging with Quinn." He tells her with a stern voice, but she just smiles it off.
"She makes me feel good."
"For exactly how long?" he asks with a frown, as their eyes meet.
"Long enough."
They just watch each other until Kurt lets out a sigh.
"Just stop, Santana."
She returns her attention to the movie again. Nova is on the floor in front of her and she bends forward to pet him.
"I know, Kurt. I know." She breathes out. "But it's not like everyone knows that I'm sleeping with her."
"It's okay that you have you believes." He tells her. "but what if your fans knew? Or your parents?"
She feels the anger rise in her with every word.
"Don't you think that I've thought about that, Kurt? Every day?" she snaps at him, and in the corner of her eye she sees Nova look up at her like he's worried. "It's not like my father would have time to do anything about it anyway.." She mutters under her breath, trying to calm down for Nova's sake.
At the mention of her father, Kurt gives her a concerned look. She hates his concerned look.
"He loves you."
"Yes. I know. And he's the only one who does in my family."
They're quiet.
"At least she makes me feel alive for about twenty minutes."
She's one of those singers who everyone knows is fucked up. Her fans, people like her, who doesn't believe in that you can only have one mate in this life, is staring up at her. Smiling and yelling.
She's known worldwide, mostly because of that she's the only one who is open with the fact that she doesn't believe.
It's hard to write lyric about love, when you don't know love for your mate. But the kind of love she has for her father (and brother) is easy to make songs about.
'Of to the Races' was her first big hit, that made her famous. The second one was 'This Is What Makes Us Girls,' and the third was 'Without You.'
When she's finished singing ten minutes later, she's off the stage in a blink of an eye and on her way home in a limo that her manager always forces her to take.
Nova jumps her again as soon as she is inside. She feels empty again. Not even Nova can take her mind off things sometimes.
So she calls Quinn, who never lets her down, who tells her that she'll be over in ten minutes. She quickly takes Nova out for a walk, and when she comes back she finds Quinn at her doorstep.
She doesn't find Quinn attractive. But after a couple of pills of what the people that is non-believers call 'Fake', she can. For about thirty minutes.
Nova is in her spare room as she lets Quinn drag her into her own bedroom and bury her fingers knuckle deep inside of her after the pills take effect. Sex with Quinn is always hot. Animalistic even. Her legs are thrown over milky shoulders and her hands fist in blonde hair as Quinn sucks her clit into her mouth and pumps three of her fingers in and out of her.
She actually feels something for about twenty minutes.
They're always quick about it, like it's all business, and as soon as she came, she has Quinn sitting on her face while she buries her tongue as deep as she can inside of the blonde, and her thump circling her clit fast and strong.
After they just lay there next to each other.
"You want some ice cream?" she asks the blonde, who nods. She takes off to the kitchen to retrieve what is left of the Ben & Jerry's from last week when Kurt came over.
They sit naked in her bed, leaning against the headboard as they talk about their lives the whole night until five in the morning, when Quinn leaves and she opens the door to her spare room where Nova is sleeping on the floor. He's too tired, or too pissed off to greet her. So she just lies down next to him on the floor, curling up next to him and falls asleep with her nose buried into his fur.
She's about eight years old. Her whole family is around her at dinner. Her little brother, who is six, and her mother and father. She's happy that her father is home for once, because he's always out on business trips.
They don't eat in silence. Because she's so happy that he's finally home that she can't stop talking to him or ask him to tell him one of his stories.
Later that night, he opens her door and sits down at the edge of her bed with a tired smile on his lips.
"Tell me another story?" she asks, and he tells her about the legend.
"Is it true?" she asks with wide eyes.
"I can't tell you if it's real or not. You need to make that decision for yourself, mija." He smiles, and she smiles back at him.
"Do you think that I will find my one true love, papa?"
She doesn't recognise the look in his eyes, but he looks kind of sad.
"You have to believe if you want to meet your one true love." He tells her.
She's quiet for a while, not meeting his eyes. But then she looks up at him again with resoluteness in her eyes.
"You are my one true love, papa."
She's fourteen when her father tells her that she has the most beautiful voice. She's in the garden with her brother. They're on the swings, and she's singing an old lullaby that her mother sings to her when she couldn't sleep when she was a little girl.
"Miguel, your mother wants you." He tells her brother and he runs into the house while her father takes his place on the swing next to her.
He looks at her with his deep brown eyes. He looks tired and he smiles at her.
"Your voice, Santana. It's the most beautiful voice I've heard."
"Even prettier that mama's?" she asks, and his smile gets bigger.
"Even prettier that mama's." he confirms.
They're quiet for a while.
"You're my most exotic flower." He tells her. "Te amo, mija."
She's in the pool, with her brother a couple of weeks later. Her best friend, Quinn, is there too. Her father, and Quinn's father is by the edge of the pool, sitting in two rocking chairs with cigars in their mouths and a glass of whisky in their hand.
It's a warm day. They're diving and playing games with each other as a screech echoes by their fence, and two men comes into their garden and is just about to pull something out of their pockets when two pistol shots are fired and they both fall onto the grass.
It over just after a few seconds. She turns her head to her father, who has a gun in his left hand.
(He's left handed. So is she.)
He tells them sternly to not look at the bodies and tells them to run into the house as fast as they can. Mr. Fabray, who has his own gun in his right hand, is holding his cellphone to his ear, speaking with someone that she suspects being Quinn's mother.
Seven years later, she is at the dinner table with her family. Her brother, who is fifteen, and her mother and father.
It's not the same anymore. She's not the little girl who once needed her daddy so badly sometimes that she couldn't sleep and refused to go to school. She likes to call herself independent. She came to the conclusion a few years ago that if her father didn't need her as much as she needed him, then she would never become so attached to someone again.
Never.
They eat in silence. And she knows that her father can read her like a book. He could do that since she was three. And he knows that she has got something going on.
She says thank you to her mother, even if it wasn't her who made them dinner.
She knows that tonight her father will come to her room and talk like they used to. But not tonight.
When she gets to her room, she instantly strip out of her clothes and throws on a black bikini under her red sundress. Then she climbed out the window.
Quinn was waiting for her down there, because she texted her twenty minutes ago. They take off down the street, walking at a rapid pace while Quinn explains to her that Puck and Mike will be waiting for them by the motel they're heading to.
Ten minutes later, the four of them climb over the fence, to the motel pool. Once in it, they swim around for a while until Puck tells them he has got a hold of some wine coolers.
They're pretty tipsy when the cops pulls up outside the motel, and they all hurry to take their clothes, all while laughing when the fat sheriff tries to catch them.
"Try and get us while we're hot!" Quinn half yells and half laughs when he runs after them down the street. The boys are nowhere to be seen.
But not all stories end with a happy ending. Because the sheriff called for back-up, and soon they're both in the back of his car and not long after separated.
She will never forget her mother's face when the town sheriff shows up at their house with their daughter.
Her mother yells at her in rage, while her father just sit there staring into the open fire he started five minutes ago.
"When are you going to be tamed?!" her mother asks her. "When are you going to grow up?!"
Maribel turns to her father. "She needs to get out of here."
She turns to her father, who is still staring into the fire.
"Last year, she was always out running all night, hanging out with those boys. Drinking herself to oblivion and skipping school."
Her mother looks at her again, pointing her index finger at her. "This will end. Now."
And then she disappears out of the room.
Her father looks up at her with his deep, brown eyes and she can see the tears that is hiding there.
"I only want what is best for you," he tells her, pain is evident in his voice. He takes a cigar from his bottom-up shirt and finds a lighter. He lights it, and takes a drag of it, smoke filling the space between them for a few seconds. "you're better off somewhere else than here, mija."
"But-"
"I will have none of that." He tells her calmly, but with a stern voice.
They watch each other for a few moments. He takes another drag of the cigar, and blows out the smoke again.
"Papa. You have never looked more beautiful." She tells him. Her voice isn't steady at all. She thinks about Quinn, her absolute best friend in the whole world. Her only friend. But what she tells him is true. She will love him forever, even if she doesn't agree with his decision. His thick brown hair is slightly curled and his unshaved face makes him look like a hispanic God. She has his lips and his eyes.
He just nods at her, and waves his arm to make her leave.
When she's at the staircase, she hears him cry for the first time in her whole life.
Her little brother has always been her second favorite person in her life. She's not one of those girls that make friends with other kids in her age, so she often hung out with her little brother instead.
She teaches him to ride a bike. How to swim. Where the quickest way to their house from the lake. Where to hide when their father acts weird.
He was her first true friend. Miguel. He was her little angel. She can't even count how many times he got into trouble and how many boys she had to take down to protect him.
He's the one who cries the most when she's about to board the train that leaves in five minutes. She wraps her arms around him and squeezes him and cries her heart out.
"Lo siento," she whispers into his hair. "Lo siento."
Her mother hugs her, too, but not with so much emotion, while her father envelopes her in a big bear hug. She takes a huge breath of his smell, trying to get it to get stuck in her memory. She doesn't cry when he hugs her. Because she feels too safe with him.
Her brother takes her hand when they let go, she meets her father's eyes for a few seconds before her brother steals her attention with a necklace that he made for her. It makes her cry harder, which makes him cry too.
"I'll see you soon, Miguel." She promises him, and he smiles up at her like she's his big idol.
She looks around for Quinn, but none of the people that are around is her best friend. So she takes a seat by the window. Her mother comforts her brother while her father has his arm around her mother.
Just as the train is about to leave, a blonde girl comes running by the side of the train and she stands up in excitement and quickly pulls the window down as Quinn runs along with the train, further away is her Mr. and Mrs. Fabray, yelling and cursing.
"I'll find you!" Quinn yells after her. She can clearly see that her best friend is crying as she runs and she can't help it when she starts too as the train pick up its speed. "I promise!"
Santana's best friend kept her promise. While Santana didn't.
She wakes up by Nova licking her face again while he whines at her worriedly. She stands up, pet him for a second and then walks into her bedroom again, planning on sleeping the whole afternoon after she takes Nova out for a walk.
A year ago, Miguel passed away along with his two friends in a car accident. She had just become quite famous. Her first and second hit had just been released, her brother was so proud of her. And so was her father. Her mother… not quite so much. Just the fact that she had become famous mostly because the fact that she didn't believe that all people didn't have to spend their lives with just one person.
When he passed away, she wrote 'Without You.'
AN2:
I felt that I needed to write about where she got all of her memories from and what has been going on in her life.
Next chapter will definitely be more interesting, because her whole world will be turned upside down when she meets Brittany.
Music that you guys should listen to:
Off to the Races – Lana Del Rey
This Is What Makes Us Girls – Lana Del Rey
Without You – Lana Del Rey
Ride – Lana Del Rey
Gods and Monsters- Lana Del Rey
National Anthem – Lana Del Rey
Radio – Lana Del Rey
Lolita – Lana Del Rey
Lucky Ones – Lana Del Rey
Videogames – Lana Del Rey
Burning Desire –Lana Del Rey
Young & Beautiful – Lana Del Rey