Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't sue.
I found this yesterday. Yes. Found this. See, when stories pop into my head, I write them out so that they'll stop bugging me. And then I typically don't do anything with them. Unless I find them one day and decide to do something with them. Like this one.
...
...
...
How It All Began
18 years ago...
Colonel Grumman let out a loud, long, satisfied sigh and slammed his empty mug on the table. "I'll take anotha'!"
His companion finished her own beer in one draft. "Make that two, rocky!" she called to the bartender.
Grumman scratched his head. "So...Alchemy? Why on earth is your nephew interested in that?"
The voluptuous woman shook her head. "Apparently some kids were tormenting a little cat in a tree the other day. Some alchemist came by and used his transmutation circles to save the poor animal and return it to its little girl owner. Roy-boy came home and said he wanted to use alchemy to help people."
"A regular idealist, eh?" Grumman nodded at the bartender who slid over two icy mugs. "So tell me, Madame Christ Mus–AH!" He stopped mid-thought and started wiping up the smooth beverage he had just spilled on the counter. Suddenly he froze and looked up. "Christ-mus!"
The two drunks started laughing uncontrollably.
"Christmas!" the woman gasped out. "That's a good one! I should use that as a business name!"
"I'm a genius!" Grumman declared. "A complete genius!"
After a few moments, the drinking partners stopped laughing and Chris looked up. "What were you sayin'?"
"Eh? Oh. I was gonna ask if you found a teacher..."
"Nah. Alchemists don't exactly list ads in the paper."
"Well..." Grumman took a huge swig from his mug. "Did I ever tell you that my daughter married an alchemist?"
"Uh-uh...Wait...You mean the recluse nut?"
"That's the one."
"He's an alchemist?"
"A damn good one. He's been lookin' for an apprentice."
"I'll have to look into it." Chris took several gulps of beer. "You got his information?"
"Just a sec'..." Grumman scribbled something on a napkin and handed it to his buddy, who pocketed it. "He lives in a little manor on the outskirt of a small town. It's three hours by train."
"Thanks."
"Say...How old is Roy-boy? Eleven?"
"Twelve in two weeks. Why?"
"Oh, my son-in-law has a little girl. She's eight. I was just sayin' that our little lad won't get lonely."
"Cut the bull, Grumman." Chris drained her glass and waved for another one. "I know you better than that. What are you really thinkin'?"
Grumman grinned and leaned in. "Well, if she looks anything like my daughter, that little girl is going to grow up to be quite a beauty. And I can already tell that Roy-boy's going to be a very handsome gentleman."
"Oh, God."
Grumman signaled for his fourth beer. "What do you say we get our two very attractive relatives together?"
"They're kids!"
"It's never too early! Besides, they won't be kids for long. What do you say? We'll be related..." He nudged her and smiled.
"That certainly is appealing..." Christ stood up on the bar stool and announced the the whole bar, "Excuse me! I'm here with a good buddy of mine, and we'd like to announce an upcomin' marriage! I'd like to now propose a toast."
Grumman and a bunch of other drunken idiots raised their glasses.
Chris cleared her throat. "To IN-LAWS!"
"TO IN-LAWS!" Every Tom, Dick and Harry raised his glass and cheered.
"TO IN-LAWS!" Grumman called ecstatically.
And that's how everything began.
...
...
...
R&R