The Physicist's Advice
Summary: Sheldon Cooper never went back to Pasadena, setting his past life behind him. Many years later he is a world known physicist, a Nobel Laureate and a man who regrets too many things.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory.
"And that will be all ladies and gentlemen" – Dr. Sheldon Cooper said as he closed the final slide of his presentation in front of the eager glances of the college students.
"If you have any questions, I will be happy to address them." – he added and gave the youngsters a small, encouraging smile.
Even after all those years he disliked having to deal with human interactions, especially in person. Still, he thought it would be a crime to deprive the youth from his genius and wise advice. After all, he had won two Nobel prizes in the field of Physics and a dozen other awards, he was obliged to inspire.
After a brief (and to his disappointment rather uninteresting) discussion of the lecture, the students started leaving in small groups, chatting excitedly about what they had learnt. Sheldon felt a small pang of nostalgia when he saw their young faces, so full of promise and hope for the future. He remembered vividly what it was like when he was their age and was just beginning to unravel the secrets behind science.
There were times when he felt like he'd give anything to go back to those years but he would always end up burying that feeling deeper because it left a bad taste in his mouth and made him feel like he wasn't himself but some lonely old guy who hadn't done much with his life.
Once he saw a young boy approaching him, he finally managed to break away from his thoughts and focus on the person before him. Sheldon could easily read the look of awe, written on his face.
"Dr. Cooper! It's such an honour to meet you, sir! I have read all about you research! I must say it is fascinating!" – the boy exclaimed all in breath. The words were rushed and it sounded as if he had rehearsed them but his tone spoke of nothing but genuine interest and respect.
"Well, of course it is." – the lector retorted, humble ways having stuck with him throughout the years.
Sheldon would never admit it but he adored the fame that came with his success. He couldn't put into words how great it felt to finally get recognition for all the hard work throughout the course of his life. Not to mention all the sacrifices he had made to get to the point where he was now. It was like some sort of compensation, something to reassure him it was all worth it when he was starting to have doubts if he had made the right choices.
"You must be Matthias, I read about you and you seem to be the most promising hope of this university." – he said, offering some praise to the boy. After all, he had to encourage the youth, especially given how science was declining more and more in popularity among them.
The teenager blushed, still not used to receiving positive feedback for his work. He was still so young and so inexperienced and Sheldon wondered when was the time he had lost that about himself – the excitement, the thrill.
"Yes, well…I guess you can say that, I have been working pretty hard recently." – the blush on his cheeks deepened – "Anyway, Dr. Cooper I wanted to ask you – do you share any advice for us young scientists?" – the boy intrigued, trying to change the subject and take the focus off himself.
"Advice? Hmm, well, first of all you should always check the math behind your research." – Sheldon started slowly.
"I bet you learned that the hard way, when you made that mistake in the … research." - Matthias chuckled, surprising Sheldon with his bluntness. At this point, given his status, very few people dared point out the few mistakes he had made throughout his career.
"I see you're very acquainted with my biography." – the Texan pointed out curtly.
"Oh, of course sir, it's like the Bible for us young scientists."
Sheldon smirked at the response. Talking with this kid felt like talking to a younger, albeit less intelligent of course, version of himself.
"Any other advice?" – the boy persisted, eager to listen to what his idol had to teach him and learn.
"Well…when it comes to life advice, I'd say always fight for what you want." – Sheldon said, mentally cringing at how preachy he sounded. He attributed this change in his behaviour to old age. It had its way of turning people milder, making them think about things they had never considered before, he supposed. Then again, he had always loved sharing his wisdom with others, only problem being they rarely listened.
Luckily, Matthias seemed like an attentive listener and nodded in understanding.
"I guess you fought very hard for your Nobel prizes, after all you didn't win the first time you were nominated. Still you didn't give up and continued with your research."
"Oh, I didn't mean for you to fight just for your academic goals." – the older physicist blurted out, regretting his words immediately.
"What else then?" – the boy asked, cocking an eyebrow, the interest in his voice evident.
"Well…science isn't everything in life." – he responded with a sigh. Forty years ago, he would have never believed he would utter such words. Over the course of life, however, he had realized how true they were. Not to mention forty years were a long time, too long in fact.
"Here, let me show you something." – Sheldon he said in defeat as he pulled out his phone and an image of two smiling little girls appeared on the holographic screen.
"Wow! Are-are those yours?! I mean I never read much about your personal life, didn't know you…" – Matthias started saying but the senior cut him off.
"Of course, they're not mine, they're my best friend's – Dr. Hoffstader - grand-daughters."
"Oh, I see then." – the boy said quietly. He could see something was bothering the famous scientist who was currently staring at the screen with a stony expression.
"Do you wish you had reproduced when you were young, sir?" – he asked, fully realizing he was pushing the boundaries of the teacher-student interaction.
Sheldon was caught off guard by the question and didn't know what to answer which was surprising having in mind he normally had a ready answer for most questions. Having to deal with one too many interviews over the span of his career had taught him that if nothing else. This was the kind of question he had forbidden himself from asking as he was too afraid of the observations it would lead to, so naturally he had no solid answer.
"Well…" – he started slowly, trying to think of his next words – "I have always been very disappointed, if not mad that great scientists such as Nikola Tesla, deprived human kind of their superior genes…but I guess in the end I did the same, didn't I?" – he mumbled, suppressing a mirthless chuckle as he found the irony of the situation.
A heavy silence fell between them, making the whole situation awkward and uncomfortable for the youngster. Dr. Cooper seemed to be lost in thought while Matthias tapped his foot nervously. It was obvious this wasn't the only reason why the older man was having regrets.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" – Sheldon asked all of a sudden and the teen stared at him, surprised at such a personal question.
"Uh, no sir."
"A boyfriend then?" – the scientist inquired, persistent.
Matthias blushed heavily, and this gave Sheldon the answer to his question. Apparently the youngster was feeling uncomfortable talking about his private life, and boy could he relate to that.
"I'm not asking in order to interfere with your life or something of the sort." – he reassured the student - "I just want to tell you that…well, if you like him you should "make things work" as some less-intelligent people would put it."
At this point Matthias was completely at loss of words. He had never expected he would have such a personal chat with one of the greatest minds of the twenty first century. He had expected Dr. Cooper would talk about all sorts of physics related stuff but him giving personal advice? Never, not even in thousand years had he thought the conversation would swing that way.
He didn't mind though, he knew the other must have a deeper reason for what he was saying. Matthias cleared his throat.
"Well, sir I must say that I am not in a very serious relationship, not to mention I don't feel ready-"
Sheldon waved his hand dismissively and the other fell silent.
"Oh, trust me you will never feel ready to be in a relationship. Us scientists, we over think everything and expect for human interaction to follow a perfect rhythm, to be part of some sort of grand equation but I can tell you with my, 68 years of life, it's not like that, unfortunately. Relationships and science are two very different fields I am afraid."
Matthias stared at him, not knowing what to say. He sure was enjoying the unexpected life lesson, it felt as if Dr. Cooper was his Obi-wan. He remained silent, waiting for the other to continue.
"This might come as a surprise but I one had what you'd call a fascination for a certain woman. Despite that the total benefits surpassed the losses, I was afraid to act on my feeling as I didn't know the extent of the effect. Things were simply changing at too fast a pace and I couldn't keep up."
"So, uh, what did you do?" – the teen asked, feeling more and more like a therapist having a session with a difficult client.
"Oh, I left." – Sheldon said, trying to sound casual and detached- "I got on a train and never saw that woman again. Of course I kept track of what she was doing, social media sites making it easy to follow literally anyone in the world from the home screen of your phone. I didn't spend any time pondering what could have been like some hippie. I focused all my energy on my work."
"And do you regret doing that?" – the undergraduate intrigued boldly, hoping the other wouldn't snap at him for taking the conversation into even more personal depth.
Sheldon kept silent, eyes fixed on something far away. It almost felt as if he wasn't in the room with Matthias but in some distant place which was long gone. The student knew that kind of look, he had seen it countless times with older folks. It spoke of nostalgia and reminiscing about the good old days.
Finally, after what felt like forever, the Nobel Laureate shook his head.
"Well, the past is the past, no reason to dwell on it. Until you, or some other great scientist figures out a way to go back in time, I don't see a need for me to ponder about could've or should've."
"Yes, of course we're scientists after all, not some hippies." – the other tried to joke and lighten the atmosphere but his attempt fell flat.
"I can tell you one thing though, if you want to be great in whatever you choose to do, you'll need great people around you. Us great minds, we need someone to take care of all the small stuff in life while we focus on big things."
"Did your best friend do that for you?"
"Well, yes up until a point he did but then he started a family and I was no longer his prime concern. At first I declared his actions as betrayal and even demanded compensation but then I realized he had simply moved on with his life. We even remained close friends all throughout these years and he seemed to handle my astonishing success pretty well, basking in the reflected light that I illuminated."
Mathias chuckled, apparently humility was not one of Dr. Cooper's strong traits, neither was subtlety.
"I am sorry, Matthias, I didn't mean to bother you with my old-man tales." – Sheldon said, feeling guilty that he was pretty much pouring his heart out in front of the student instead of giving him professional guidance.
"Oh, not a problem sir, I can assure you your old-man tales are certainly more interesting than most."
Sheldon didn't reply at first, once again lost in thought.
"You know, I don't want to discourage you from pursuing scientific success, although this conversation might be taken as an attempt to do this. However, I want to point out that as I said there's more to life than science."
"I'll try to remember that, Dr. Cooper. And I uh, I know this is clearly none of my business, but don't you think you still have a chance with that woman you had a relationship all those years ago? Not to sound cheesy or something but I believe it is never too late for two people who love each other."
Sheldon cringed at the use of the word love. Even after all those years, even when there was all the evidence pointing to it, he still could not admit the nature of his feelings, even to himself.
"Oh, but it is too late, Matthias. She married and had a beautiful family of her own." – Sheldon remained quiet for a few moments, then he continued with the slightest trace of emotion in his voice – "She passed away."
"I am very sorry, sir." – the student said but it seemed like the physicist didn't hear him.
"Anyway, unless you believe in time travel or resurrection, it is too late." – Sheldon said, more to himself that to Matthias. His words were laced with cynicism (a quality he had picked up with age) and cruelty but it didn't take a great mind to see the true emotions hidden behind them.
. . .
Many years later when people would ask Matthias what the famous Dr. Cooper was really like he would answer:
"One of the brightest man I've ever known but also a complete and utter fool for not fighting for what he craved for."
Author's Note: Certainly not one of my best works but I still decided to publish it here since I kind of liked the idea of seeing Sheldon fully realizing how important the people he loves are to him and what a big effect they have on him.
Whom do you think Sheldon was talking about? I didn't state the pairing I had in mind since I wanted it to be somewhat open to interpretation.
Please review, feedback is appreciated!