DEAR HUMAN\TROLL\ELF\WHATEVER SPECIES YOU ARE (I DON'T CARE),
LOOK. MY NAME IS KARKAT VANTAS. DON'T CALL ME ANYTHING, BUT THAT. UNDERTAND? GOOD. I WASN'T REALLY ASKING. ANYWAY, I'M A LEADER OF A BUNCH OF IDIOTIC TROLLS THAT LIVE ON A CRAPPY METEOR CALLED ALTERNIA. I'M NOT TAKING QUESTIONS ON THIS. I'M LIKE, FIFTEEN YEARS OLD IN HUMAN TERMS (I'M NOT SURE BECAUSE I DON'T STUDY HUMAN'S STUPID LANGUAGE OR SPECIES AT ALL). DON'T GET ANY IDEAS ON TROLL "PAIRRINGS" EITHER. I'M NOT...WHAT THE CRAP IS THAT WORD...GAP? GIP? GAY-THAT'S IT! GAY! EW, NO, WHAT THE CRAP IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE HUMAN IT'S AND PAIRRING ME WITH OTHER MALE TROLLS?! *SIGH* WHATEVER. BUT, NO. I AM NOT "GAY". I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU ARE, YOU HAVE WHATEVER FREE SOMETHING, SOMETHING, ABOUT A WILL OR SOME KIND OF CRUD LIKE THAT, SO I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU ARE, I'M JUST LETTING YOU KNOW THAT I'M NOT THAT. AND I DON'T HAVE ANY RED FEELINGS FOR GAMZEE OR TAVROS OR ERIDAN (HE'S A CREEPY FISH, FYI), AND I DON'T LIKE ANY OTHER MALE TROLLS ON ALTERNIA. THERE'S ONLY ONE... *COUGH* TWO TROLLS I HAVE A FLUSH CRUSH FOR AND I AM NOT TELLING YOU. GO AHEAD AND GUESS. UGH. I DON'T NECESSARILY LIKE HUMANS EITHER. JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT, TOO. I'M A BLOOD TYPE RE- NEVERMIND THAT! i'M A LEADER. AND I SUCK AT WHAT I DO, BUT SOMEHOW I WILL SAVE ALL THE TROLLS AND WHEN I'M DONE DOING THAT I'M GOING TO RUB IT IN EVERY SNOTTY NOSED DOUBTER'S FACE! I'LL PROVE EVERYONE WRONG. I'LL BE A GOOD LEADER, I JUST NEED TROLLS TO ACCEPT ME FIRST. (REPEAT THAT TO ANOTHER TROLL AND I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN\STALK YOU...I WILL NOT TELL YOU THE REST BECAUSE THERE IS LITTLE EYES READING THIS, POSSIBLY.)
-KARKAT FREAKING VANTAS