I want a friend who understands. A friend who rather than just saying it's okay.
You'll learn to control it.
I used to have depression too. ...It goes away.
I'm sick of it.
I want a friend who'll talk through it with me.
Who rather than telling me to be strong lets me cry my heart out onto their shoulder.
Letting it all go.
A friend who faces the topic that i've considered death.
Would anyone care?
Would anyone cry?
Would the PAIN go away?
Would people just act like it NEVER happened?
Would people just act like I never happened?
Would it be better for it just to quickly be over rather than the pain i have every day?
Would it get better if i just cut because i've considered this.
Would anyone notice?
Would it be better if i was gone?
Would it be better if i had never been born?
Would it be better if the world didn't have to deal with me?
Would it make everyone happier if they just didn't have to deal with UGLY, HORRIBLE, PATHETIC ME THAT SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN BORN?
Why do people lie and say it'd be a bad thing if i was gone?
Why do people never talk about it but rather say, it'll all go away.
Why don't people ever notice that i cry myself to sleep and consider these things?
Why don't people notice the fake smile i've had for years.
Why don't my friends notice... I'm not Eli anymore.
I'm not anyone.
I'm just a pained spirit forced to live.
One that wants to be gone.
Gone forever.
How come if i died i bet people would just say "I never expected it" and act like i never existed.
Don't worry. It'll all go away.
Just close your eyes, and FORGET.