Title: Ways To Be Annoying
Summary: Based on the list of '101 Ways to be Annoying'. Aion annoys Chrno on purpose. Set in the time of Mary Magdalene and before Rosette. Drabble fic and one-shot!
Disclaimer: I love Chrno Crusade, but sadly, I don't own it, or possess Daisuke Moriyama's mad drawing skills.
Number of words?: Yeah, that'll be 100 (multiplied by 9)
1
"Yes… in accordance with prophecy."
There was an odd silence in which Chrno stared. Aion stared back as if he had not said anything out of the ordinary.
"Um… What?" Was all the purple haired demon could manage to say.
"I said yes, Chrno. In accordance with prophecy."
"You said 'yes, in accordance with prophecy' when I asked you to pass the mustard?"
"Yes…" Aion replied simply. Innocently. There was another short silence in which Chrno wondered what on Earth was wrong with him.
The wind blew, messing up Aion's hair. He opened his mouth again.
"…in accordance with prophecy."
2
'CHRNO' read the letter with bold, capital letters. To Chrno's extreme annoyance, there were no punctuation marks in sight.
'WILL YOU TAKE THE TRASH OUT IM TIRED OF HAVING TO TAKE IT OUT ALL THE TIME IT IS YOUR TURN ALSO REMEMBER TO ASK MARY MAGDALENE IF SHE KNOWS WHERE THE BROOM IS WE NEED IT'
The sinner rolled his eyes, and placed Aion's note in his pocket. "Please… no more," he tiredly mumbled. What was wrong with him? Aion had been acting weird for weeks.
Over the next few days, Chrno received countless letters just like the first one.
"Chrno, don't you think maybe we should consult a map?" Magdalene asked. They were lost; Pandemonium's remains were nowhere in sight.
"Yeah, maybe," Chrno took out the map Aion had given him. He opened it, and found himself with—
'X—BURIED TREASURE' written all in bold black ink somewhere near where they were standing. He averted his gaze to another note.
'X—BURIED TREASURE'
And then another. 'X—BURIED TREASURE'
And another. 'X—BURIED TREASURE'
And another… 'X—'
'X—'
'X—'…
"What the…?" Chrno began. Turning the map over—
'AION WAS HERE.'
He tore the map in frustration.
3
"Aion! Aion, are you listening?" Chrno said in the middle of one of their serious conversations.
"Shhhh!" the white haired demon protested, holding up a finger to silence him, looking suspiciously around them."Do you hear that?"
"What?" Chrno asked, more than just a little annoyed. He hadn't heard anything.
"…Nevermind. It's gone now."
Chrno raised an angry eyebrow. "Yes. Whatever. Anyway, don't you think that maybe we're doing this wrong? Don't you think that, maybe, Pandemonium—"
He was interrupted again. Aion looking around. "Shhhh! Do you hear that?"
"HEAR WHAT???"Chrno screamed.
"Nevermind. It's gone now."
Chrno pounced at him.
4
They were at one of their dinners, having a good time. Aion was still annoying.
"Hey, Aion…" Chrno began reluctantly. He needed him to pass the salt.
Aion ignored him. "I have an announcement to make! From now on, I insist everyone call me 'Conquistador'!"
Chrno rolled his eyes. "Aion, pass the salt."
"'Conquistador'!" Aion corrected him. Chrno refused to play his stupid game.
"Aion, pass the salt," he muttered through gritted teeth.
The other demon covered his ears with his hands. "Lalala! I can't hear you!"
"Aion, salt, please?" Shader asked.
Aion moved for the salt happily. "Sure, Shader."
5
"Chrrrrnnnoooooo," Aion began slowly, beaming as he forced the poor demon to stop reading his book. He looked like a retard.
Chrno looked at him impatiently, as he restrained himself from punching him in the face. "What?"
"I just wanted you to know, you exist only in my imagination."
Chrno stared. Hard. They were like this for more than just a comfortable period of time.
"I AM EL CONQUISTADOR!" Aion then suddenly shouted, piercing Chrno's ears. And he ran off, with his home-made red cape flying after him, the words scrawled in purple ink--'Magnificent One'. "IN ACCORDANCE WITH PROPHECYYYYY!"
6
Days later, they were discussing what they were going to do with Pandaemonium's head.
"…and Shader, I need you to run tests…" Aion paused, staring at Chrno straight in the face. There was an odd silence where everyone thought Aion might say something important.
Looking at his demon partner, puzzled, Aion abruptly changed the subject. "By the way… what gender are you?"
"I am a MALE!!!" he shouted at him, filled with anger.
"That's what YOU think!" Aion shouted back defensively.
The rest of the meeting was spent on Aion trying to "prove" his point by taking off Chrno's pants.
7
"Oh, gosh, what is that smell?" Shader suddenly asked while they were waiting for breakfast.
"No idea," Rizelle replied, more than a little offended by the smell herself.
Chrno took a sniff. It smelled like…
The smell intensified when Aion burst into the room and announced, beaming, "I AM WEARING COLOGNE!"
The demons all covered their noses from the offensive smell. It wasn't that Aion was using cologne—it was that he was using too much.
"Aion! For the love of—go take a bath!" Chrno shouted at him.
Aion clamped his hands over his ears to end the conversation.
8
"Chrno…"
He didn't pay attention to him.
"Chrnooooo…"
He was insisting. Yet Chrno would not pay any attention to him.
"Chrrrnnooooooo…!"
He was mad, he was annoying, he was—
"What the hell is it!?" Chrno snarled at him, annoyed, after Aion started blowing spit bubbles near his ear.
"I just wanted to say, that I am going to attempt to sing the song that never ends, for the last couple of days, to see if it ends."
Chrno stared at him. That was it. He was moving out of Eden as soon as possible.
"…In accordance with prophecy." Aion beamed.