TITLE: No Easy Way
PAIRING: Robert and Anna
RATING: K+
DISCLAIMER: I do not own DA, if I did, S2 would be a fluff-fest!
SPOILERS: Erm, there are a few! Some I didn't know about until just last night!
SUMMARY: Set in S2, probably around ep1. I don't want to say too much in case you want to remain spoiler free, if however you are a spoiler lover, then you'll understand what is spoilery and what is not! There are also a few phrases taken from interviews and teasers, I've probably taken them out of context, but hey! :D Please enjoy! xxxx
No Easy Way
"By the way, O'Brien says that Bates is making things very awkward downstairs," Cora announced as she dined with her husband. Sitting opposite him at the great table, it was just the two of them dining tonight. Sybil was in London working as a nurse, Edith was out on the land somewhere and Mary was dining with friends.
Robert looked up, knife and fork poised. Taking note of his wife's look, he placed his cutlery back down, wiped at his mouth with his napkin and sighed, "What has she been saying now?"
Cora looked up, raising her eyebrows in surprise, "Only that everyone will be glad once he's left. All these lies he's told, it's making things very difficult."
"And what lies would you be referring to?" Robert asked, annoyance growing. He was so fed up of hearing about Bates and his supposed past. He was so tired of everyone bringing him down, though Bates didn't exactly help himself, but more importantly, he was tired of Bates himself. After everything he'd done for the man, he still thought it right to throw it back in his face and hand in his notice.
"Where do I begin?" Cora asked archly. "How about the fact he is a thief…"
"It wasn't him," Robert countered.
"And a drunkard…." Cora continued on regardless.
"Former drunkard," Robert corrected.
"Crippled…"
"Darling, why must you bring that up?" Robert sighed in exasperation.
"Not to mention that he's married!"
"And what should that matter?" Robert demanded.
Cora put down her own cutlery, rolled her eyes with a sigh and faced her husband. "Darling, don't take it out on me! All I'm saying is he never mentioned he was married when he was breaking hearts downstairs."
Robert's eyes widened, "Breaking hearts? Whatever are you talking about?"
"Robert, honestly!" Cora cried in exasperation.
"Are you trying to tell me that your maid is nursing a broken heart? Is that it?"
"Heavens no!" Cora laughed despite the awkward conversation. The mere thought of O'Brien mooning over Bates was truly laughable. "But, O'Brien did say that one of the maids has been cruelly deceived by him."
"I don't know why you listen to her!" Robert exclaimed. The thought of Bates breaking hearts downstairs was almost as ridiculous as O'Brien being in love with him.
"I'm only saying…"
"Well, I wish you wouldn't gossip," Robert said firmly.
"The sooner he goes, the better."
Robert sighed loudly, he could never understand why his wife didn't like Bates and how she seemed to relish any opportunity to have a dig at him. Today's announcement that he was leaving; going back to London with his suddenly returned wife had been a cruel blow to Robert. After everything that had happened, after all they'd been through; this felt like having sand kicked in his face. He stood up rapidly, pushing his chair back and flinging his napkin onto the table.
"Where are you going?" Cora asked, surprised by his sudden actions.
"I've had enough," Robert stated, "I'll be in the library."
He stormed towards the door barely giving Carson enough time to open it for him. He furiously marched towards his library and slammed the door firmly behind him. The truth was he didn't want Bates to go, didn't want to lose a damn good valet and friend to match. He couldn't understand Bates' reasons for leaving, they were so strange and confused – it just didn't make sense.
One minute he was back from his mother's funeral and seemingly happier than he'd been in a long time. Then, he'd asked him about renting a cottage and getting married again once his divorce had come through. Though Robert had been a little surprised by all of this, he'd agreed, the chosen object of his affections was Anna and Robert couldn't deny that they would make a fine couple. And now, merely a few days later, his wife was back and Bates was determined to leave and make a go of things with this wife he hadn't seen for ten years.
Where did that leave Anna? Where did that leave him? Robert's questions were left unanswered. Bates, ever the enigma, dodged every question and replaced each unanswered question with a new one.
Not bothering to wait for William or call for anyone, Robert poured himself a large brandy and took a deep gulp before refilling his glass. He removed a large Cuban cigar from his humidor and lit it against a candle, taking great puffs to get it burning well. Then, he started to pace.
He went through everything, over and over again. Something just didn't seem to add up, but the man was so infuriating! He refused to accept help, refused to speak the truth about how he really felt, choosing riddles over facts. It was so frustrating.
But the truth was, Robert had had enough.
The library was starting to feel like a cage and so, drink in one hand, cigar in the other; Robert departed the room with no real aim in mind.
As a boy, Robert had known every passageway, every shortcut his home had to offer and even now, years after his childhood ended, he was sure he could still recall them all. The thought of seeing anyone filled him with a strange sensation and so, for the first time in nearly thirty years, he took a servants' passageway. Slipping along the stark corridor he felt an odd sense of relief, there was no sound and for the first time, he actually felt alone.
The bare corridor led downstairs and Robert took the narrow steps that led him away from the grandeur of upstairs to the more natural simplicity of downstairs. Once upon a time, he was more familiar with downstairs than he was upstairs; he thought it funny how life and age changes people.
The narrow staircase led him to the backdoor and he was grateful to see that not only was the backdoor open but there was nobody around. Robert came to a halt in the doorway and inhaled the cool air of the evening, glad to finally be free.
He took a sip of his brandy and took some heavy pulls on his cigar, great grey, earthy scented clouds of smoke billowing around him. He sighed heavily and was about to take another sip of brandy when a noise made him stop completely.
He listened, barely breathing and there was the noise again, the unmistakable sound of feminine crying. Usually Robert would back away from female tears, just the mere thought of a crying woman was enough to send him scuttling for the nearest hiding place, but there was something about this sound that made him stay, that made him listen to the deep, heart wrenching sobs that echoed into the night. Whoever was out there was literally breaking their heart and for some reason, Robert felt the need to do something about it.
He took a cautious step out into the yard and peered around the corner trying to catch a glimpse of the owner of the sobs. He could just make out the tip of a black shoe and bottom of black skirts, covered with a white apron.
He stepped forward again and the figure became clear. Sitting on an old barrel was Anna, head in her hands and sobbing heavily. Every ounce of Englishman within him made Robert want to turn and disappear without making himself known, but something, some foreign part of him made him move forward, his footsteps echoing around the yard like gunshots.
Anna looked up, her grief stricken face dropping in horror as she saw Lord Grantham standing a few feet away. She leapt to her feet, swallowing back her sobs and desperately trying to look as though she hadn't been breaking her heart mere seconds ago.
"Your lordship!" she gasped, her voice broken and shaky.
Robert held up his hand. "Don't worry, Anna," he said gently, "I'm sorry I disturbed you." He signalled at the young woman to sit back down and watched her with concern as she settled back onto the barrel, her hands shaking in her lap and her breathing coming in shuddery gasps. He sighed softly and moved closer, settling himself by her side and wondering exactly what he was doing and what he intended to say now. "Is everything alright?" he asked. Even to him, the question sounded ridiculous. Of course she wasn't alright, she was far from it! One look at her puffy red eyes and tear stained cheeks explained that she was anything but alright.
Anna gave another shuddery sob and wiped desperately at her face. "I'm alright, thank you."
Robert looked at her closely, tears still threatened to tumble from her eyes, her nose was red and running and she was flushed from heavy crying. He shifted slightly, placing his cigar in his mouth as he used his now free hand to pull out his handkerchief. He offered it to Anna with a cigar-filled smile.
"Oh, no… I couldn't!" Anna said, shaking her head slightly causing the tears that once threatened to fall to now tumble freely down her cheeks. Robert refused to take no for an answer and pressed the handkerchief into her hand.
"Take it," he said gently, removing his cigar and resting it on the nearby window ledge. He watched in satisfaction as Anna wiped at her eyes and blew her nose noisily on his handkerchief. He waited a few moments, waited for her to calm herself a little. "Now, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Fresh tears filled the young woman's eyes and she gulped out a sob. If she actually said anything, Robert couldn't tell, but there was only one reason a woman would display herself in such a way. "I don't suppose this has anything to do with Bates?"
At the mere mention of his name, Anna's pretty face crumpled and she broke down into a further round of tears, confirming to Robert the true reason for this woman's distress. Bates. And was he really surprised? Why, merely weeks ago, Bates had hinted to Robert that he wished to marry Anna, clearly this was an agreeable thought to Anna and now, when Bates was going back to his wife, he had left Anna broken-hearted.
Anna buried her face back into her hands and continued to sob leaving Robert completely at a loss as to how to comfort her.
"Here," he said, holding out his brandy glass to the young woman. "Drink this, it will help."
Anna looked up at him through bleary eyes and tried to smile as she shook her head. "No, thank you."
But Robert refused to take no for an answer and so, pressed the glass into her trembling hand. "Drink it; it will make you feel better."
Before she could protest again, he rested his hand on hers and guided her shaking hand up to her lips, encouraging her to drink the dark brown liquid. She trembled with unreleased sobs as the glass touched her lips and she sipped at the liquid, Robert pushed her hand slightly, forcing more of the drink into her mouth.
He watched with amusement as her face contorted in disgust as the liquid burnt her throat. Her mouth slid into a grimace and she coughed and spluttered as the brandy fumes made their way down her nose.
"That's awful!" she gasped as the burning in her throat subsided. Realising she had just been rather rude about his lordship's expensive brandy she added, "''beg yer pardon, m'lord."
Robert chuckled, "Don't apologise. But, it stopped you crying, didn't it?"
Anna made a noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a snob as she rested the glass in her lap. He was right, the awful liquid had forced her sobs to subside and she wiped at her eyes and nose once more.
"I'm sorry for making such a show of myself," she said softly, trying hard to control the waver of her voice.
"Don't be sorry," Robert said softly. "Now, are you going to tell me what Bates has done to make you like this?"
"He… he's leaving… he said it's over between us," Anna gulped, trying to stifle her sobs as she spoke.
Robert listened and groaned softly to himself. Apparently he wasn't the only one upset by Bates' impending departure and who could blame poor Anna for being devastated? Bates had apparently been making promises when he was in no position to do so.
"And you understand why?" Robert pressed gently, not wanting to upset the girl further.
"No! No, I don't understand!" Anna cried in anguish. "One minute everything was fine and the next, he tells me he's leaving and that it's ov… ov..." her voice broke down at this point and for a few moments she sobbed into her hands once more as she remembered the painful conversation from earlier.
"But he's married," Robert said as softly as he could.
"He said she wanted a divorce…he wanted a divorce and now…"
"You mean you knew he was still married?" Robert asked somewhat incredulously.
Anna closed her eyes, squeezing them tightly shut against the pain and nodded slowly, Robert exhaled sharply, "Oh, Anna...what were you thinking? Carrying on with a married man, no matter what his promises may have been…."
"That's just it!" Anna cried, her voice cracking with emotion. "I wasn't thinking! I can't think of anything but him. It's as if I were mad, or ill. I suppose that's what love is. A kind of illness. And when you've got it, there's just nothing else."
Robert listened and almost understood. However foolish it may seem, Robert could tell the poor girl was suffering terribly and though she ought to have had more sense than to get involved with a married man, Bates had a lot to answer for too. What was he thinking?
"But love shouldn't make you feel like this," Robert said softly, reaching out and touching her arm.
"We were going to get married, we planned it all…he was so happy," Anna sighed, her expression fading into a wistful memory, a memory where she was happy.
Robert, however, could feel no happiness. "He proposed?" he demanded. He knew Bates had been thinking of marriage, but he'd no idea the man had actually proposed! And when he was still married! Was he out of his mind?
Again Anna closed her eyes and nodded sadly.
"He had no right to propose to you," Robert said carefully. "I must say, I'm shocked at his behaviour, shocked and disappointed."
"I'm as much to blame," Anna sighed resignedly.
"No… your only fault is falling in love, and that's not something you should blame yourself for. We can't choose who we fall in love with."
"I suppose not," Anna sighed sadly.
"But we can control our actions," Robert added pointedly. "I know it's hard, but you need to try and move on. He'll be gone soon and then you can start trying get on with your life."
"Without him, there is no life." Anna's voice was a mere whisper.
"Yes there is," Robert said softly, lowering his tone and resting his hand on Anna's arm. "It may not seem like it now, but it will get better." Anna shook her head, fresh tears forming in her eyes as she pondered the thought of life without Bates. "It will," he reiterated, searching her face. "Anna, if he's made you feel like this, he isn't worth it!"
"But, he is!" Anna sighed, wiping her face once again with the borrowed handkerchief.
"Has he been completely honest with you?" Robert pressed, knowing full well what the truth would be. Bates hadn't exactly been honest with him, withholding details where he saw fit.
Anna thought for a moment, the silence only broken by her soft unhappy sniffs. "I suppose not."
"You are better than that, you deserve better than that. Walk away now and forget all about him, whilst your reputation is still intact," Robert advised, cautiously and softly.
"You see, that's just it," Anna said, looking up at him, eyes glistening with further unshed tears. "I'd face ruin if it meant being with him."
Robert sighed and stood up. Though her attitude frustrated him he could understand it. Love could be blind and Anna was young. He could see his own daughters in her face, see how she was being torn apart by love and it made him want to look after her. His daughters had him, had their mother, but Anna, she was far from home with no family to support her.
"Then, I can't help you yet," he said softly. He offered her a little smile, "But, believe me, it will get easier and you will move on from him."
Reaching down he picked up his cigar, which had long since gone out, and looked at Anna one last time. She held out the glass to him, but he shook his head. "Finish it!" he suggested with a smile before turning and heading back inside.
At the doorway he was met by Mrs Hughes, who gaped to see him standing in the servants' entrance.
"Is everything alright, your lordship?" she asked, trying hard to hide her disbelief.
"Perfectly so, Mrs Hughes," Robert answered and then paused. He glanced back out into the yard, "Perhaps you may…" His voice trailed off and Mrs Hughes followed his gaze.
Robert stepped around Mrs Hughes and began to ascend the narrow servants' staircase once more. Halfway up, he glanced out of the window and smiled to see Mrs Hughes, her arms around Anna, comforting her in a way he certainly couldn't.
At least the poor girl had someone downstairs she could talk to. With a sigh, he turned and continued his ascent, glad to be returning to his family. Strangely, he felt the need to be around his wife and feel her love.