They Are Not Friends

By vez

"Outside confidence is king
I am all that you're projecting
Inside feel the rising tide
And the revolution deafening"
-- Darren Hayes, Hero

She sees this moment in her head when she wasn't thinking about space invaders eating caramelized banana in miso soup. Actually she lies, even to herself. She imagines this moment in a gazillion different ways with a million different endings. She is very, very good at creating situations but she likes it better in her head. But for this moment to crystallize right here, right now -- it was cruel in the most perfect way. She sees him and bears witness to raw power, unparalleled to nothing else with a sense of loyalty and honour that cannot be compared. She would go to the ends of creation if he asked. (She did in fact and came out stronger and a bit wiser.) For all the time she spends looking at him, he is busy looking at someone else. Now she sees him looking at her. Kuchiki's wounds were deep and severe. Ichigo was never good at control, whether it be in terms of his power or emotions. Just as anyone could feel his reiatsu from miles away, she could literally feel his pain reverberating. But she wants to admit nothing, not yet, not now anyway. It would not do to have a revelation about love now. After all, confidence on the outside is King, isn't it? She wants to help and she does. Orihime gently pushes Ichigo away (in more ways than one and her heart gently splinters) as she tries her best to heal Kuchiki. She can't help her little daydream during the healing process. He looks at Rukia like nothing else in this world. Orihime can't help but feel envy for them. Wouldn't it be great if someone looked at her the same way? They were definitely not friends.

They were not friends. She stands on the rooftop and wonders. Orihime did a really good job; she could barely feel any pain. But the memories that accompany the wound still made her cringe dammit. The adrenaline rush of victory, then, generally being pissed at Ichigo followed by a very painful Surprise! Someone-Stuck-His-Hand-Into-My-Body-Moment. Now Ichigo was missing and worrying the hell out of his sisters and left her to deal with it. Once upon a time she liked to come up here because it was the closest thing she could do that resembled her Shinigami life and the nearest she could get to Soul Society. Now she came up here in hopes that she could concentrate enough to find Ichigo's reiastu. That boy is prone to not thinking and generally just being hot-headed. Everything is action-reaction with him like a bad knee jerk reflex. Her eyes close as she tries to see the red threads that screamed Ichigo. It seemed like such a long time ago when things were not that complicated. When he was the acting shinigami and she was waiting for her powers to return. A time where they fought Hollows together, she with the phone and experience, he with the sword and power. Then Soul Society happened and the Ichigo that rescued her was so annoyingly similar yet so different she decided not to dwell on it at all. The time in between those two events he had managed his Ban Kai and hold his own against her brother. She was impressed. All she feels now is hurt that he would just leave without saying anything. A part of her wonders if this was in retribution for her leaving but she came back didn't she? If, no, when he returns (to her), maybe this awkwardness between them will go away. Inside she feels the rising tide of Change. Who knows how much Ichigo will grow this time round? She still feels an indescribable sadness that he was changing without her at his side. Her eyes open and she surveys the town in its night glory. Still the same. Nothing changes. Nothing ever changes for her. There are many things she regrets. Things she never said. She thinks to herself, I should tell you ...

I should tell her, he thinks to himself as he dodges a blow from Hollow-him. There will be no doubt that she will so kick his ass when she finds out he sought out the Vaizards to learn about his Hollow without her. He could imagine her going on and on about how they were a team and it not being safe to be alone and blah blah blah. They were a team alright but no one hurts her on his watch. But he failed her, twice. The first time, he was left bleeding his guts out on the floor as she left him without a glance. This time, he saw her on the ground. She was so pale, so fragile. That moment was so perfectly fragile in his mind that he knew if he dwelt on it any longer (and what would have happened if Inoue wasn't there in time) he would just shatter. He needed to be strong and focus on beating this white freak. It bothers him that he needed Hollow-him to deal with Byakuya. This weakness was a disease that needed to be stomped out as soon as possible. He would save Rukia with his own power thank you very much. There still remains a little in you to fight, Hollow-him observed as Ichigo plunged his sword in. Heck yah, he would grow stronger and he would protect Rukia at all cost as long as it him doing it and no other. Things would change for the better this time. She will punch him for making her worry and he will mutter, Bitch, while doubling over in pain. But he will tell her this time, he will.

And the revolution that follows will be deafening.

A/N:Written for the Spring 2006 contest at ichiruki livejournal community. If you liked it, please review it! Thank you for reading (: