Disclaimer: I don't own Legend of Zelda or any of the characters associated with it.

Random Notes: I wrote this in the last ten or so minutes of Spanish class. I was planning on pursuing this storyline further, but I'd rather I devote my attentions to Loss, so this is just going to be a one-shot thing. I know it is written poorly, but I didn't feel up to editing and rewriting (and besides, some of my more colorful acquaintances seemed to think it was funny the way it is), so here it is; the short, random, written in sixth period fic about... well... I'll let you see for yourselves.

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Got Milk?

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Malon turned around swiftly to face Link, who had been sitting on a fence, watching her, for the last twenty minutes. "What are you still doing here?!"

Link stammered, fell from the railing, and landed hard on his back with his legs up against the fence. Before he could recover, Malon leaned over the railing and glared down at him. He blushed slightly and pulled his tunic's skirt down to its rightful position.

"You didn't answer me; what are you still doing here?" Malon asked, annoyed.

"...uh... I was just..." Link started, but Malon interrupted him.

"You were staring at me!" she said crossly.

"... No, I was just... watching you work!" he cried in his defense.

Malon sighed. "Link, you are supposed to be saving Hyrule, but instead you're watching me... not to mention taking particular interest in my 'work' every time I bend over!"

"I was not 'taking particular interest'..." Link pouted and crossed his arms while still lying on his back, "and I was only watching you because I don't have to go off on my journey again yet. I have time to relax a bit..."

"Oh right! Of course!" Malon laughed dryly. "So that's why your fairy kept telling you that you need to leave... that is, before you shoved her in a bottle of milk to shut her up..." She stopped as they heard a muffled cry of "Hey!" come from Link's pocket.

"......"

"Link, please leave. I already told you last week; I'm just not interested," she said coolly.

"... But..."

"Link, either you leave willingly, or I set the cuccos on you," she warned.

"...You wouldn't..." Link ventured warily, but made no move to depart.

"Alright, have it your way," she shrugged. "By the way, I'd run if I were you," she whistled shrilly and her call was answered by the war cries of dozens of enraged cuccos.

Link ran for his life.