A/N: This is a giftfic for the lovely Penbee, who has been kind enough to okay it being posted up here. :)
Hatake Kakashi didn't view Maito Gai as a friend.
On the surface, the reasons were obvious. Gai was too boisterous, too bright, and too loud to be considered a friend. It was easier to view him as a well-meaning nuisance. His energy and enthusiasm directly contrasted Kakashi's naturally laconic nature. On lazy mornings with no missions in sight when all Kakashi wanted to do was curl up in bed with the latest copy of Icha Icha, Gai wanted to train. On hot afternoons when the sun did a passable attempt of thinking it was in Suna, not Konoha, Gai pestered him with challenges. And then there was the spandex.
None of those were why Kakashi didn't view Gai as a friend.
He'd been thirteen when they'd first met, freshly a Jounin and with a reddened scar on his face that bisected an equally reddened eye. Gai had been a Chuunin, and had taken one look at the Hatake genius before declaring Kakashi his rival.
Kakashi hadn't been interested. He'd recently taken to laziness and a half-lidded steel gray eye- to slumped shoulders and rumpled clothing two sizes too big- to convoluted excuses that would've made Obito proud, even though Minato knew why his student was perpetually late. The whispers had already started about Sharingan no Kakashi, over a decade before the Uchiha massacre would give that name true significance.
Gai was hot-headed, hot-blooded, and hard-working. Kakashi had no room in his life for someone like that. The title of friend was already taken by Obito, and Kakashi had seen what had happened as soon as he'd acknowledged that friendship. He did his best to ignore Gai when he was in the village. Kakashi had more important things to focus on. They were still at war, and his main priority was learning to control the Sharingan, not indulging a Chuunin who should probably still be in the Academy.
Six months after Gai's first whole-hearted challenge, Kakashi gave in. The dark-haired boy had been pestering him at every possible opportunity, and Kakashi just didn't have the energy to say no any longer. Gai's expression had been at first surprised, then pleased. An hour later, when he was bruised, bleeding, covered in dirt with pine-needles pricking through his jumpsuit, he was still smiling.
Kakashi didn't understand why. The point of accepting had been to show Gai the difference in their strength. Kakashi was a genius. A Jounin at thirteen, with abilities that made those who remembered the White Fang before his disgrace whisper. The equal of a Sannin, they said. Future Hokage, others breathed. When Gai dusted himself off, struck a pose, and thrust out one thumb with a gleaming smile to declare that Kakashi wouldn't win so easily next time, the silver-haired teen didn't know what to think.
They fell into a pattern after that. Gai would challenge him whenever they were both in the village, and Kakashi would occasionally accept. Kakashi would win, easily, and Gai would smile.
Then the demon fox attacked, and everything changed. Rin and Minato, dead on the same day. His teacher's child, host to the Kyuubi. Sandaime reinstated in office. And Kakashi, alone.
He withdrew after that, concentrating solely on his training. Gai continued to challenge him for the first few months, but eventually stopped when Kakashi would silently walk away every time the green-clad teen appeared. The legend of the Copy Cat ninja grew, and at seventeen, Hatake Kakashi joined ANBU. At eighteen, he was assigned his first squad.
If he'd been choosing ANBU, Maito Gai was the last person he'd have chosen. Too loud, too boisterous, too honorable to be ANBU. Their work was more often carried out in shadows, and the razor's edge of a kunai slicing an exposed throat was often the closest they came to real battle. Kakashi expected Gai to flunk out within his first month, and made no secret of it.
Then Gai slipped the mask on for the first time. It was a stylized turtle, based off of his summons, with swirling green lines over the cheeks and blank holes for eyes. And suddenly, Maito Gai wasn't Maito Gai. He was ANBU. Even the way he moved changed- the bounce in his step was replaced by smooth grace. There was silence where before there had been noise, competence in the place of enthusiasm.
Kakashi grew accustomed to the weight of Gai's fists protecting his back, and over time, the word 'annoyance' got replaced by a different word entirely- 'comrade'. He knew Gai's abilities, and could trust him to always be there. The only thing that outnumbered the times Gai had saved his life were the times he'd saved Gai's. After three months, he stopped counting. Years slipped by like that, until Kakashi forgot that there was anyone beneath the turtle mask- until he forgot that there was anyone beneath his own wolf.
Then Gai resigned. From behind a porcelain mask, Kakashi watched as Gai bared his face, and listened as he spoke of a twelve-year-old Genin with only guts and taijutsu to his name. He should've expected it- he'd seen the way Gai's eyes had lit up the first time he'd seen the kid, on one of the rare occasions they'd had a break between missions. The resemblance between the two went beyond bushy eyebrows and shiny hair. When Gai was done talking, Kakashi simply nodded in response.
The next year passed in a haze. Gai's replacement was competent. A wood-jutsu user, something he hadn't thought existed since the First. He was calm, respectful, obedient, talented- and he wasn't Gai. The injuries piled up as Kakashi assumed familiarity that wasn't there, and when Sandaime suggested that it was time to leave ANBU behind, Kakashi nodded from his hospital bed in agreement. The Hokage had tried enough over the years to get him to retire, sending Genin team after Genin team to him, and he'd failed them all.
He spent six months taking solo missions and getting accustomed to normal fieldwork again. Three months in, he saw a green-clad man walking down the street with a bright, sparkling smile. For a moment Kakashi wondered if Gai would pass him by, but the Jounin struck a dramatic pose, extended a thumbsup, and beamed at him. Sunlight winked off of Gai's teeth, but there was seriousness in his eyes as he challenged Kakashi.
This time, the Jounin agreed. They fell back into the familiar rhythm of their childhood. Kakashi would occasionally make an effort to avoid Gai on sheer principle, but it was half-hearted at best. Their challenges were different now. Where before they'd always sparred, now they competed at things that ranged from the deadly to the absurd. It was a silent acknowledgement of the changed dynamic between them. As Jounin they were too powerful to only play children's games, but as non-ANBU, they were relaxed enough to play them sometimes.
Another thing had changed, too. When they'd been kids, Kakashi had won every challenge. Now, they traded first place with every event. Sandaime started making noises about Kakashi training Genin again, and looking at Gai's team- Neji's silence and skill, Tenten's dedication, and Lee's- well, Gai-ness- Kakashi agreed.
He didn't expect them to pass the test. They'd been too divided, too distracted, but somehow they'd pulled it together in the end, and Kakashi had his team. He wondered sometimes, watching them bicker, if he'd done the right thing by passing them. Then he'd hear Obito's voice coming from a boy with his sensei's brilliant blue eyes, or Sakura would smile in a way that reminded him of Rin. Sasuke reminded him so much of himself sometimes that it was painful, and he wondered if this was how Minato had felt, looking at him.
For a few months, he was as close as he'd ever been to actually being happy.
Then Sasuke left, and once again, everything changed. His team split, and all of his students left for other teachers- better teachers. Kakashi asked the new Hokage to be reinstated into ANBU. She refused. He asked again. She refused again. He took as many solo A-rank missions as he could find in reply, and started avoiding Gai. People who were close to him got hurt. He ruined everything he touched. And friends died.
Two years passed like that. He'd wave with a friendly crinkly-eyed smile when he saw Sakura on the streets, but her attention was always focused on the medical textbooks piled up to her chin. He read and reread Jiraiya's letters, and would murmur the portions about Naruto's progress to the memorial stone every morning. He listened for word of Sasuke, but the only thing he ever found out was that he was still with Orochimaru.
He focused on getting stronger. When he wasn't on the field, he was training. He searched the Uchiha complex, and found notes on a new Sharingan technique, equal to the one Itachi had used on him. When he saw the requirement for learning it, he laughed bitterly. Killing his best friend? He'd done that at thirteen.
There were downsides to having a transplanted eye. Kakashi wasn't an Uchiha, and his chakra system wasn't developed to support a kekkai genkai. The first time he tried to use the Mangekyo Sharingan, he had a splitting headache for a week. The first time he actually managed to use it, he ended up flat on his back for a solid month. Gai brought him a fruit-basket and challenged him over crossword puzzles. Kakashi stared at him for a long time, then graciously allowed Gai to go first. He still won.
As they started spending time together again, Kakashi slowly came to accept a truth that had been there all along. Gai was safe. He wasn't immortal- no shinobi was, and Kakashi knew that better than most- but he was safe. For all of his boundless enthusiasm and energy, he was rarely injured. He was one of the strongest Jounin in Konoha- potentially the strongest, with the exception of Kakashi himself. And, most of all, he was there. Like Kakashi's mask and his porn and his lazy, lackadaisical nature, Gai was there. Somewhere along the line he'd integrated seamlessly into Kakashi's life, and he wasn't leaving.
With that revelation, for the first time, he actually looked at Gai- not at an ANBU mask, not at spandex and legwarmers, not at a bowl-cut and a gleaming smile- and he saw something there that surprised him. It lingered in every smile- in the way his eyes lit up- in the casual friendliness with which he said the words 'Eternal Rival', like they were supposed to mean something else entirely. The next time Gai came to challenge him, Kakashi casually flipped the page in his porn novel, glanced at Gai over the top of the page, and calmly asked how long Gai had been in love with him.
When the Jounin looked thoughtful, rubbed his chin, and said around sixteen years, he wasn't surprised. He lowered his book. One gloved hand threaded through too-shiny hair, and the first time Gai saw Kakashi's face, it was for only a brief second- Kakashi was too busy kissing him to allow for a longer look.
Hatake Kakashi didn't view Maito Gai as a friend, because he was so much more.