Some names (e.g. the Giant Hall) may be different than in book, I don't know - I translated polish names. I'm sorry for any mistakes in my English.
Valentine roses
Dusk has overtook the Hogwart's meadows already, when right next to Hagrid's cottage an enormous figure appeared – the one and only Hagrid. He was enlightening his way with a paraffin lamp and in its light his eyes met Snape passing by lonely. The giant was surprised by his presence so lately, while usually at this time he was reading his students' scribble – another hopeless essays about amusing elixir. Well, he wasn't amused reading them.
At a moment, Hagrid had a task for Valentine's Day, the next day. Dumbledore told him to bring to the Giant Hall ten baskets of pink roses, with which the place was supposed to be decorated. Unfortunately, all baskets didn't fit even in Hagrid's arms, so he thought that Snape could be useful. He could take one basket, it'd be enough.
"Erm… Professor?" the giant said shyly to the dangerous teacher.
"Yes?" surprised Snape replied. He had a strange expression on his face, his black coat ominoustly rustled, waving in the wind.
"I have a small request, professor" saying this, Hagrid took all his courage . He pointed at baskets of roses and said "I have to take it to the Giant Hall, but I can take all but one. Could you take it, professor?
"Me?" the elixir master was terrified. "Somebody can see me…"
"It's dusk, professor" Hagrid laughed. He still doesn't know how he did it."It's not a problem."
"Okay." Severus agreed reluctantly."But don't let everybody know."
Hagrid took this as a threat and quickly nodded his big, hairy head. Snape grabbed one basket and moved forward. The giant also took his nine baskets and quickly ran after Snape.
Snape was rambling behind Hagrid. He was afraid that somebody would see him. He was looking around all the time and wasn't paying attention to the road, when he tripped over a rock, falling forward. Professor stood up , beat his robe and looked around seeking roses, but the basket already rolled in the darkness.
"They will manager without one basket" Severus thought and ran fast to Hogwart.
He wasn't the only person to take a walk so lately. Professor Minerva McGonagall was walking among amazing oaks when she felt that something rolled to her legs. She leaned and picked the thing which turned out to be a basket of pink, imposing roses. There was a piece of paper sticked to the basket, with words "Valentine roses". Professor looked around, thinking about person who gave her flowers, when she saw Snape running towards Hogwart. "He?" she thought, surprised. "Unbelievable… Severus Snape gave valentine flowers. That's why he was running away! He didn't want to admit it! And he didn't give it to me personally… it fits him. But… Valentine's Day is tomorrow! So it… it's an invitation! I must make it up to him! And I already know how!"
Professor McGonagall, with the basket in her hands, ran to Hogwart.
When Severus Snape entered the Giant Hall next morning, he couldn't recognize it. Pink reigned everywhere: pink ribbons, pink balloons, pink… roses! Luckily, as professor noticed, Hagrid managed perfectly without one basket.
Snape sat on his usual place and noticed that, instead of professor Sprout, transmutation teacher sat on his right. What was even more surprising, during breakfast she was passing him everything and was nice to him. In Hogwart nobody was nice or kind to him, just like her. This terrifying incident deduced Snape from equilibrium.
Luckily, the announcement about trip to Hogsmeade put him In a nice mood. Although little Weasley girl was screaming "especially In Valentine's Day!", professor wasn't antagonized. He eagerly moved with crowd of students towards exit, imaginating how the infatuated make fools of themselves in the town.
Snape was walking along the main street, when an old woman with a checkered scarf on her head caught him. In hands she held same checkered bag. Scaring Severus, old woman reached the bag and showered him with pink confetti, singing:
I love you too
Let's go and do something
Please don't say no
Severus, my darling!
She was squawking horribly, confetti and song ended at the same time. Woman bowed and went away, like nothing happened. Snake noticed on her clothes a badge saying "Valentine's Messenger".
Before he could shake bewilderment and confetti off, professor McGonagall ran to him. On her wizard robe she had pink, awful roses sticked to different places. Elixir master, with fear in his eyes, saw that this transmutation madwoman was smiling to him. He tried to escape, but on his hand he felt an iron grip of Minerva and thinking that things can't get worse, he gave up.
He didn't know he was wrong. McGonagall took him to the pinkest, cutest and the most disgusting cafeteria he could imagine. They were entering Madame Puddifoot's Cafeteria. Mistletoes and other valentine decorations, such as angels and hearts, were hung everywhere, these awful infatuated were sitting at every table covered with pink cloth. Minerva led Severus in the tight place among pairs and finally, in a corner, she found the pinkest – but vacant – table and they sat at it.
Snape didn't know how to escape. He couldn't choose what was worse humiliation in front of all these students: sitting here with transmutation teacher or running away from her through whole cafeteria. Finally, he chose the first idea thinking that if he isn't conspicuous, they won't see him.
He just settled down comfortably in pink velvet upholstered chair, when thin and hung with baubles madame Puddifoot came to them.
"How can I serve you?" she asked, passing them heart shaped menu.
"Two teas with lemon" McGonagall replied for both herself and Snape.
Madame curtsied and went away. After a moment she came back with two cups on a trey, surprisingly white, and she left them on the table.
"10 shekels" she told guests and Minerva gave her the money. Unluckily for Snape, the woman left them for good.
"Is the tea good, honey?" professor asked him.
Did he mishear? Did this balanced, basic and Snape-hating person call him honey?
"It's good" elixir master replied, cresfallen, choking in the curse about muck he had been given.
He drank his tea as fast as he could to escape this cursed cafeteria. As to spite him, professor McGonagall was drinking incredibly slowly. Snape wanted to run away, so he stood up and said:
"Hmm… i'm in a hurry. I'm sorry, but I will go now." He turned to leave when he Heard:
"Wai…" profesor McGonagall wanted to stop him, but she was cut off by clink of glass.
Glass shards scattered on the floor and a little rock fell on the pinkest table in the corner.
All people gathered in the cafeteria looked on the rock, then on Snape and McGonagall. However, they couldn't wonder about it as long as they wanted to, because through the front door rushed one dark and four ginger shags and in confusion arising everybody forgot about two teachers in madame Puddifoot's cafeteria.
George, Fred, Ron and Ginny Weasly with Lee Jordan (they were hiding under mysterious shags) were running around whole cafeteria tipping chairs and tables, ripping pink cloths, smashing glass in windows, dropping mistletoes on the floor, destroying valentine decorations and generally devastating madame Puddifoot's achievements of life. The owner herself hid behind the counter, hearing behind herself bangs of sequentially culled with stones bottles, plates, glasses and cups. Her guests were running in panic and disorder through the door, which came off the hinges under their pressure. Crashes, clinks of furniture, screams and yells of frightened students and inhabitants of Hogsmeade could have been heard in the whole cafeteria. Madame was quietly sobbing behind her counter among fragments of old cutlery, her tormentors left the empty cafe.
In tumult Severus Snape stealthily went out of the cafe, happy that he lost his unwanted fellow. "First and, I hope, the last time thank you, Gryffindors" he thought, leaving madame Puddifoot alone in deep despair.
His happiness didn't last long, though. He just turned away from demolished cafeteria, when in front of him he saw… Minerva McGonagall.
"What are you doing here?" elixir master asked terrified, staring at smiling face of transmutation teacher.
"I'm taking you to a restaurant, Severus" Minerva replied. "I've forgotten that the Weasleys and their friend still revenge for that unfair debt."
"A restaurant?" Snape asked again.
"Yes, to Cupid. It will be a dinner with candles and music!"
Severus thinned his face and, knowing he had no choice, professor staggered after this monster in wizard robe with roses.
Finally, they reached the restaurant. A pink (NOO!, thought Snape) inscription Cupid coud be seen above the door. This time they could sit at any table, because all were vacant. A ridiculously dressed man approached to them and lit candles on their table. There weren't so many decorations, but they had a small orchestra, which started to play when the man clapped his hands. Other man went in front of orchestra, in suit and with a microphone, and he started singing just like in an opera:
My love, I love you
My love, I admire you
My love, I want you to be
Through your whole life with meeee!
The last line was so long and high that glass in windows clinked, but after a short prelude he sang on.
Meanwhile, Minerva ordered some French muck and red wine for them. The meal and wine was already on the table and McGonagall started to eat. Snape also forced himself to and in his mouth he felt bitter taste of French "thing" which Minerva ordered. He drank wine and relieved. However, Minerva seemed to interpret it in a different way, because, scaring Severus, she said:
"Tastes good to you? Do you want some more?" Snape terrified even more and grabbed McGonagall's hand, because she was raising it to call a waiter.
"No!" he screamed. McGonagall looked at him, surprised. "I'm… I'm not hungry" Snape hardly smiled, trying to explain himself.
"I see" Minerva calmed down. "Waiter! We're paying!" Then she turned to Severus. "Escort me to Hogwart. It will be a romantic walk in the moonlight. The culmination of this day. "
After paying Snape and Minerva went out on the street flooded by moonlight.
Transmutation teacher took elixir teacher's hand and, at all costs, she didn't want to release it. Snape didn't even try to liberate himself – he couldn't get away from this monster. Luckily, that was the end.
"It's amazing here" suddenly (surprising Severus) Minerva started a talk. "Do you remember this place? It's here where basket from you rolled."
"Basket?" asked Snape, surprised.
"Oh, that basket. Basket with roses. Then, when you fell, yesterday. Cleverly devised, but I guessed."
"What did you guess?" elixir master stopped in stupor.
"You know, that you want to have a date with me." McGonagall replied sweetly and laughed. "Let's go, don't just stand like that!"
Finally two teachers reached the Hogwart's gate.
"So, now…" Minerva started, but she couldn't end – Snape thought that it's over his power.
Probably he thought God knows what, anyway, he wrested from the iron grip of McGonagall's hand and ran as fast as he could to Hogwart, through corridors, and didn't stop until he got to his cosy cabinet in dungeons.
Professor McGonagall stood staring at the gate and thinking, "Can't we say goodbye nowadays?"
Morning, Severus sat anxiously in his chair in the Giant Hall. Unluckily, transmutation professor was still sitting next to him. When students started eating breakfast, Dumbledore leaned towards Snape.
"Apparently you helped Hagrid with baskets with roses, that's what he said" headmaster said to elixir master.
"Yes, but he was supposed not to talk about it" Snape hissed. "Anyway the basket I had got lost. I don't know what happened with it."
"I know, but Hagrid managed somehow. Why did you fall, Severus?"
"I was afraid that somebody will see me" Snape whispered to headmaster. "I was looking around, but not under my feet." Headmaster laughed.
"What's best is that we found those roses" he told Snape. "Did you see McGonagall's yesterday's creation?"
"Those flowers" Snape started, "were those roses?"
Dumbledore laughed again and after a while both he and Snape left the table.
Professor McGonagall, sitting next to Snape, heard the whole conversation. And Snape was really surprised by the roses. Transmutation teacher was sitting in not her chair completely red, she couldn't move because of stupor. Suddenly, professor Sprout approached her.
"Listen, Minerva, can we change places back? I'd rather sit next to Severus than next to such a great authority as Dumbledore."