A/N- The prompt: "Vampire!Lisbon using the entire team as her blood supply and relief to her insatiable sexual appetite. Bonus points if everyone gets jealous because she seems to have a taste for Jane more than anyone else."
Vampire kink is fun!
Immortal
"Again? We just did this last week!" Rigsby pulled his collar a little above his neck.
"And how many times do you eat in a week?" Lisbon had her hands on her hips with a frustrated smile on her lips. "I'm hungry!"
Rigsby grimaced as he pulled his collar down. "I thought that was my line…" he mumbled quietly.
Lisbon sighed in relief, and licked her growing canines. "Relax… I won't suck you dry." Then she bit, eliciting a pained whine from Rigsby.
OOOO
"Hey, boss," Rigsby called from his desk. "How are you feeling?"
Lisbon smiled at him, and shifted her weight to one foot. "Good. Very rested. Thank you."
Rigsby nodded, a little relieved. "That's good." As he turned back to his work, Jane stepped over to his desk.
"Don't feel bad," he whispered conspiratorially, "she's already nipped at me twice since you last saw her."
Rigsby looked him in the eye. "And why is that?" He sounded almost peeved.
"I don't know. I guess she's taken a liking to Rh negative blood." Jane began to walk away, but Rigsby caught his arm.
"What the hell is Rh negative?"
"You're A positive, yeah? Well, I am AB negative. It is something to do with blood proteins. I'm the only one here who's 'negative,' so that must be it." Jane strode off to make some tea, leaving the bullpen.
Cho looked up. "Yeah, well, she likes more than his blood, that's for sure."
Van Pelt stopped typing. "What are you talking about?"
"Hot, wild, immortal sex."
Rigsby and Van Pelt gawped at him. "Good thing I'm a woman. I don't have to worry about that," she giggled.
Cho snorted. "Don't be so sure."
OOOO
Later that week, Van Pelt was working late with Lisbon on paperwork. Sometimes, Jane just did not think before crashing into something. Like crashing a CBI car into a FBI safe house to flesh out the murderer. Not exactly a safe, sane, thing to do. Lisbon came by Van Pelt's desk to pick up the papers she had finished filling out. Van Pelt scrutinized her boss. Lisbon had that predatorial look in her eyes, the one that meant she was getting her appetite back. "Hungry?" Van Pelt asked innocently.
Lisbon looked at her, surprised. "A little. How did you know?"
"You look like it." She unbuttoned the top button of her shirt.
"Oh, Van Pelt, I'm fine. You don't really need to." Lisbon started to head to her office, leaving Van Pelt alone in the bullpen.
Sometimes, that woman just refused to take care of herself.
Van Pelt dug through her stack of papers, looking for the one that gave her a paper cut earlier. She ran her fingers along its edge until she felt the familiar sting of skin separating. "Ah!" she squeaked, a little more dramatically than usual. "Lisbon! Do you have a bandage?" Lisbon came to her aid immediately.
"Van Pelt, are you-" She stopped and closed her eyes. Lisbon took a deep breath, inhaling deeply. Van Pelt knew that she could smell the blood in the air. Vampire senses were keen, at least the hearing and the smell were. The 'Jane' sense was not part of the deal, unfortunately for Lisbon. When she opened her eyes again, they had turned an iridescent blue. She really was hungry.
"Go ahead." Van Pelt unbuttoned a few more buttons. "I don't mind anymore." Lisbon nearly knocked Van Pelt off her chair in her eagerness, biting into the soft, yet scarred skin. "Uh-huh. You were fine," Van Pelt choked. All she got in response was sucking noises. After a few minutes, she withdrew.
"I feel so guilty now," Lisbon mumbled, wiping her crimson lips. "It's even worse than junk food… Junk food doesn't cry out in pain when you eat it!"
Van Pelt laughed as she pressed a tissue to the base of her neck. "If it did, then the world would be a healthier place. Better now?"
"Yes. How…"
Van Pelt smiled woozily. "You always get a certain look when you're hungry."
OOOO
The next morning, they caught a red ball. The mayor's daughter, Jessica Slata, had been murdered, and it was up to the Special Cases Unit to catch the slayer. She was three.
It had been easy to find the culprit; the bodyguard's prints had been all over the body and the murder weapon. Yet he still would not confess.
Which bought him time in the hot seat with Lisbon. He was a stubborn, self-righteous bastard, and he was really getting on Lisbon's nerves. After a few futile minutes, Lisbon decided to pull out all the stops. She closed the blinds on the tiny room, and turned around with her back to the mirror. Then she closed her eyes. Time to give this guy the scare of his life.
Facilitating the change was a little harder than usual, because she had just eaten. So she tried thinking about Jane. About how good he tasted, about how he would try to act strong and try to help her along. But he always gasped and moaned after a few pulls, then buckled at the knees, bringing them both to the floor. His blood was warm, sweet, and rich. Like molten chocolate, but so much better. She felt her teeth begin to shift around, reshaping her jawbone. That was the ticket. The bodyguard reached out and poked her. "Hey, you alive over there?"
She fixed him with a cold stare. "Nebber been bedder," she said as scarily as she could. Unfortunately, the canines were making it hard to talk. The mispronunciation obviously did not matter to him, because he immediately withdrew his hand as if he had been burned.
"...the Fuck! What are you?"
Oh, he was going to be a fun one. "A state agent."
"You're not human!" Obviously, he was hired for his muscles, not his gray matter.
"Doesn't madder what I am. I wanna know if you killed Jeffica Thlata."
"Yes!" he screamed. "Just get away from me, you freak!"
Lisbon grinned. "Dat ill be all." She walked out of the room, mouth firmly shut. Not many knew her secret, and she liked to keep it that way. As she walked down the crowded hallway, Jane strode up next to her. He wordlessly handed her a glass of ice water, which she accepted with great thanks. The cold shot streaks of pain through her teeth as it hit, but she felt her teeth shrink to normal size. Human size.
Jane leaned in close to her ear. "I thought your teeth could use a cold one. That was impressive in there, by the way." He put his hand on her lower back, guiding her gently. Jane's kind gestures erased all the hurt carried in the word "freak," and she was grateful.
Wait.
"Could you see?" Lisbon asked frantically.
"No. However, I knew that's what you did. When he said, 'you're not human,' it was a bit of a giveaway," Jane explained. "Don't worry. I will vouch for you. The man was hallucinating."
Lisbon grinned, much relived. "Oh, absolutely."
Jane stopped, and clapped his hands together. "Shall we treat ourselves to a shameless consumption of fat and grease?" Case-closed pizza!
"Sure." It made her stomach kind of sour for a day afterwards, but it was fun. It made her feel normal. And that was a rare luxury for her sometimes.
While Rigsby called the restaurant, Lisbon waved Van Pelt over. "Hey. I wanted to say thank you for last night," she whispered, taking Van Pelt's bandaged finger. Ignoring the quizzical look the red head gave her, she took off the bandage. Holding the finger in from of her, Lisbon stuck one of her own fingers in her mouth, coating it with saliva. Then she wiped it along Van Pelt's paper cut, being sure to get all of it. The skin began to mesh, and after a few seconds, all that was left was a thin white line. Van Pelt's eyes widened and she smiled at her boss. Sometimes there were perks to being undead.
After eating, the team went home. Even Van Pelt, because according to the Sacred Pizza Tradition, if you ate after four o'clock in the afternoon, there was to be no paperwork done until the following morning. As Lisbon watched Cho leave from her office, he lingered outside her door a little, almost waiting for her to call him in for a snack. Lisbon cheerily waved goodbye, and intentionally dropped her head to the empty desk, dismissing him. As she stared at the blank surface, her mind started going. Cho had always been so good about the whole blood-sucking thing. And the human life force thing. The human life force thing amounted to Cho being her best friend, whether he wanted to or not. You see, vampires need love even more than most humans. That was the reason for the sanguinarianism, because blood is practically the basis of life. Therefore, good old Cho went through chick-flicks, long phone calls, and everything else. It was about time she showed some reciprocity.
OOOO
The next morning, as Cho made himself coffee, he had to suppress a spontaneous smile. Rigsby and Jane stood on either side of him, boring holes into his skull. "What can I do for you?" Cho drawled.
Jane leaned one arm on the kitchenette counter. "So did she use the 'creature of the night' line on you too?"
Cho looked up, surprised. "Maybe."
Rigsby snorted. "The two times we've spent the night, she used it on me."
Jane raised an eyebrow. "She stopped after our tenth night."
Cho snorted a bit of hot coffee. "Ten? Are you serious?"
Jane shrugged. "Yeah." Rigsby and Cho walked away from him. "What?"
OOOO
The next few months were stressful. It seemed like every nut bag in the country came to California to do their (illegal) business. On the bright side, Lisbon discovered that iron pills and water mixed together could take the edge off her craving for blood. This vile-tasting concoction became her breakfast for a week or two, adding to her stormy mood. After solving one of the harder cases, Jane decided to do her a favor. He borrowed (read: stole) Van Pelt's letter opener, and breezed into Lisbon's office.
"Jane, so help me God…" she began, bristling at his sudden entrance. He held up the letter opener and his left hand. "What are you doing?" Jane did not speak nor explain as he pulled up a chair in front of her desk. He rested his forearm on the cluttered desk, palm facing her. Then he took the letter opener and pressed it to his palm. After a few seconds of pressing, a tiny drop of blood appeared. Lisbon bit her lip. "God, I hate it when you cut yourself for my sake."
Jane smiled. "Meh, it'll heal anyway." He held out his hand. "Fancy a bite?" Why, yes she did. Lisbon grabbed his hand and brought it to her lips. She took her tongue and slid it all around the shallow cut, coaxing more blood to pool. Damn, this tasted much better than that nutrient slurry. Way better. The taste scrambled her human mind, and transferred control to the vampire section. When her saliva started to heal the cut, she switched to a more fruitful tactic.
Lisbon did not even wait for Jane to finish pulling down his shirt before she sunk her teeth into him, forcing him to the floor. She ignored his barely stifled moans, drawing more and more blood until he was silent. Lisbon assumed he had just passed out, or had managed to control himself. When she broke away for air, Jane was surprisingly silent. Usually he would make a witty comment about sparkling right now. Lisbon wiped her lips and tried to clear her head. "Jane?"
Oh God. Oh God, please no, no, nonononono! Jane stared back at her with glassy unseeing eyes, mouth open in a shocked expression. She had killed him. Lisbon looked away and buried her head in her arms, close to vomiting. Then she heard a wheezing gasp next to her.
"Ohh… What the hell happened?" Jane moaned. Lisbon threw herself over his body, nearly sobbing. He was alive! Then she breathed in. Jane smelled different. More coppery, and slightly lemony.
Copper and lemons meant one thing and one thing only: vampire. She had turned him. "Patrick? This is gonna be hard to hear…"
OOOO
"Ah… What do I do?" Jane asked tentatively. They were alone in the darkened CBI building.
Cho leaned back on the couch and looked at him. "Open your mouth and bite me."
Jane covered his face with his hand. "I know that. I'm not as blonde as I look." He sounded slightly frustrated, and very hungry.
Cho slipped off his tie and unbuttoned the collar of his shirt. "It's just like eating an orange."
Jane nodded. He opened his mouth, letting his canines grow. "Ooh, ouch! Dat hurts," he groaned.
"Why don't you just get Lisbon to help you?" Jane just made a noncommittal dismissing noise, and leaned in a little closer, grazing Cho's neck with his teeth. "Take your time. The first is always the hardest." After a few seconds, Jane bit down.
Boy, that tasted good.