Addie, Again
Summary: After the Exalted Council, Sera and Adder say goodbye to Skyhold.
"So, two crippled Qunari walk into a bar…." Adder thinks for a moment, then frowns. "Nope. Still nothing. Argh, I just know I'm going to come up with the rest of this joke when you're miles away."
"Tell Dorian, and he can tell me," Iron Bull says, gesturing to the sending crystal around both their necks.
"It won't be the same. He'll ruin the delivery."
Sera, Adder, Iron Bull and the Dorian Dummy—an old training dummy with a giant moustache drawn on—are sitting at a table in the Herald's Rest. The tavern is missing a lot. Sera almost wishes the Chargers, Iron Bull, her and Adder hadn't gone out for one final drink. It's just weird. The Rest is missing its plaque. (Now in Sera's pack.) It's missing the noticeboard. (Scout Harding never did find time to teach those dance lessons.) It's missing the people. (No Cabot behind the bar. No Maryden by the fire. No serving girls going back and forth.)
Some things are the same. It's still got the fire casting its warm light everywhere, the orange-y wood, the smell of ale and beef stew.
Dorian's voice comes from Adder's sending crystal. "Are we in the Herald's Rest? Did I miss it?"
"The party's still going on," Adder says. "Also, I'm wearing my brown leather outfit, if you were wondering." Dorian has mixed up his sending crystals once or twice, talking to Adder when he meant to talk to Bull. Adder and Sera won't let him forget that.
Dorian sighs. "That stopped being funny the second time you said that, Adder."
"Mm, I think if I still enjoy it, it's still funny." Adder slips her sending crystal onto the Dorian Dummy.
"I wish I could at least be drinking with you in solidarity," Dorian grumbles. "My alcohol consumption has gone down precipitously now that I have to inspect everything for poison."
"I'm not very drunk," says Adder. "I made a promise to a lady not to get smashed tonight."
"Oi, what ladies're you making promises to now? I don't need her sober because of shagging," Sera adds because she just knows they assume it is. "Honest and true. It's my last prank. I'd tell you, but it'd ruin the surprise."
"So, Dorian, how'd the latest vote go?" Bull asks. The vote was about reforms for slaves, if Sera remembers correctly.
"Not particularly well." With a weary sigh, Dorian adds, "Please, amatus, I'm utterly sick of talking politics. I just want to hear about something pleasant."
All three of them share a look. Dorian's in the shitest of moods if he doesn't want to talk about himself.
"All right," Bull says, "well, Adder's working on a crippled Qunari joke."
"I have to have something to do while helping someone—" Adder stares at Sera "—do some last-minute packing."
"'Least I'm not packing a billion books. And some of 'em you already read! What's the point?"
"Some books are good to reread." Adder kisses Sera's temple, and murmurs in her ear, "You read them once, and you see them one way, but you read them again and see different things in them." A kiss to her cheek. "They grow on you."
Sera scrambles into Adder's lap for a full, proper kiss, mouth on mouth, tasting the sour ale she's been drinking.
Dorian sighs. "They're kissing again, aren't they?" Hearing his voice from beside her is grand. She can pretend for just a moment that Dorian's here, that this is just your everyday night at the pub between the four of them.
"Yep."
"I can't be on this crystal forever. You'd think they'd want to maximize their time with me."
Sometimes Sera feels like an arse-biscuit, rubbing their happiness in Bull's face. He doesn't act like he minds, but he's got to, with Dorian so far away. She pulls away but doesn't leave Adder's lap. "Finished."
"Ah, before I forget," Dorian says, "Adder, Hestius sent me sketches—"
"Still no," Adder says quickly. Dorian's sworn up and down there won't be any dark magic involved in making an arm for her, explained there are entire specializations in Tevinter Circles dedicated to making fake limbs that work like real ones, even set down the Vint pride flag long enough to say that the College of Enchanters can build the arm if they want, but Adder still says no. To Sera, she admitted she can't imagine another magical left hand.
"I thought I'd try." He isn't even arguing. What exactly happened with that vote? "How go your plans for a library, anyway?"
"The Empress is giving me a small building in Sarhnia." Most of Skyhold's books are going there. Sera thinks the library is absolutely mad. Adder sees it as a place where any old Tom, Dick, and Harry can rent books for free, of all things. Like minstrels don't exist, now? But Adder looks so happy talking about it that Sera can't begrudge her the idea. Besides, if Adder weren't a little mad, she'd be dead boring.
They chatter on for a bit longer. Gradually, the conversation starts to flag, especially with Dorian being so weirdly quiet.
Adder takes a final swig of her cup. Gazing into the fireplace, her face goes all thoughtful. "So...how do you think I did with all this Inquisitor crap?"
Sera doesn't even need to think. "Good."
"You never know who the Divine you helped elect is going to have assassinated next!" Dorian chimes in. "It makes for such lively speculation over drinks. Most Tevinter elites love that the White Divine has stooped to our Divine's level."
"Well," Bull says, "maybe you could use a bit more supervision at that College of Enchanters..."
"Ah, yes, I heard their latest blood magic potluck was quite charming," Dorian says. The first time they had this argument, he sounded loads colder, but it's just reflex by now.
"Says the Vint."
"Honestly, you might thank my country for providing an example of what not to do for you southerners to follow—"
They can go on and on about this. "Oh, right, yeah," Sera remembers. "That part you coulda done without. Not sure Briala being Lady of the Dales changed that much for elves the way you usedta go on and on about."
"Solas recruiting elves for his insane plan certainly won't be," Adder grumbles.
"Frigging Sole-arse!" Seems every conversation they have these days comes back to Solas. Him being Fenny and wanting to destroy the world is still too raw—everyone keeps trying to make sense of it.
"Any news of him?" Dorian asks.
"Not yet," Adder says.
"When we find him, arrows," Sera snaps. Adder doesn't agree, but seems she doesn't want to argue it tonight.
"I still can't believe it," Dorian says. "And Bull, you never…?"
Bull's answered this loads of times, but manages to sound like this is the first time. "I saw what I wanted to see. He was so quiet, so unassuming…. I failed us."
"No one blames you, Bull," says Adder. "It's not as if 'ancient elf awoken from uthenera' is the first thing anyone'd think of."
"He was good." Bull sounds so impressed. "He was really good."
Sera stands up. "That's it, no more grimdark faces. C'mon, Addie, let's have some fun."
Adder blinks. "I haven't heard that nickname in a while."
"Creepy ruined it for me. Which, stupid. I was letting him ruin it. I'm not giving him that kind of power anymore." It helps that she doesn't think Cole's so terrible now that she knows thinking about cocks and ladybits can block him from her mind. Before he and Maryden left to go on the road, she even gave him some tips about what to do with a girl in bed. He pretended it was all news to him and that he never saw anything sexy in anyone's brain, which was nice of him. (Adder gave him the scarf from around her neck and reminded him to eat if he felt hungry.)
"Not 'wifey'?'" Dorian asks.
"No. That makes us being married common and...it's not. Not to me."
"Fair enough," Dorian says with a chuckle. "Goodnight, my friends."
Adder leans over the dummy and puts the sending crystal around her neck. With a fond pat, she says, "Keep safe, Dorian." That's how she always ends her talks with him. Before he left for Tevinter, she broke the Adder-the-badass-mercenary code and hugged him. He growled and puffed up like a nervy cat, of course, but he hugged back. "To get this foolishness over with," he said, but they all knew better.
It'll wreck her if he gets hurt. Bull, too.
As they leave, Sera overhears Bull talking into his crystal. "So...about that vote...?" She can't hear Dorian's reply before they're out of the Herald's Rest.
They walk by where Cass liked to train. She's in Val Royeaux now, being Right Hand of the Divine, the perfect big, important, righteous job she's been looking for since the Seekers folded. At their backs are the stables, reminding Sera of Blackwall and his Grey Wardening. She hopes he's keeping safe but he probably isn't, big frigging hero that he is. She told him to write her and send the letters to Josie's. He sodding better. After seeing him again, Sera can't go another year without hearing from him.
Cullen's office is behind them, too; he's wandering the world with that mabari Adder daydreamed of stealing from him. He was vague about his plans. The bloke's always had some job to guide him—maybe time without will do him good.
The dungeon door is on the way to the stairs. Adder's brother, Karaas, used to be imprisoned there. While everyone important was off at the Exalted Council, Qunari spies just opened up the door for him. Charter's last message as the Inquisition's spymaster said no nearby cities or towns have reported a giant ram-horned Qunari. When Sera asked if Adder wanted to chase him down, Adder shook her head. "I think it's time I lived my life without thinking about him." 'Course, she said that on the broody balcony, then stayed out in the cutting wind for a broody half-hour, then broodingly downed a bottle of whisky, then tossed and turned through a broody sleep. Sera rather doubts that's the last Adder will ever think of her brother.
Then into the main hall. Sera set down some glowlamps earlier that day. A few golden squares of half- or barely finished murals gleam on the walls. Adder was never much for decoration. Throughout the hall are simple Inquisition windows, bare banners, and the same Inquisition throne they had three years ago (Sera tried every trick she knew to get Adder to buy that dragon throne, but it never happened).
They walk past where Varric's stool was. He's off ruling Kirkwall and probably hating it—they've got to stop by Adder's fancy house in Kirkwall, teach him how to have fun again. They got in a Wicked Grace game before everyone split up, and his playing's gone to shit.
Up above was Vivienne, swanning about with her darlings and my dears that meant you idiot and peasant. She's off with mages doing weirdy things, whatever, Sera doesn't give a toss. She's not on their Wintersend card list.
Beyond Varric's spot is Josie's office. She won their last Wicked Grace game like she always used to. She kept saying Adder and Sera must visit the Montilyet villa in Antiva soon, which is right nice of her, considering the chaos Sera and Adder always bring with them.
Near the throne is the door to the Undercroft, where Dagna worked miracles and Harritt kept her from blowing the place up. Adder isn't great at writing with her right hand-her letters are pure chicken-scratch. So Sera's written hundreds and hundreds of reference letters. (She's very proud that only a few butt-doodles snuck in.) The steward could do that, of course, but Adder figured she might as well use what little power she had to help the people who served her faithfully. Sera doesn't know where Harritt's off to, but Dags is making her way to the College of Enchanters.
Sera turns right and throws open the door to the rotunda.
Adder hesitates. "Oh—here? I don't think—"
Sera keeps pulling Adder further in. Once she's in, Adder stares. The rotunda's all lit, showing off the buckets of red paint Sera left by each fresco. "Huh. This really isn't about sex. I'll admit, I'm surprised."
Sera glances up. Dorian and Leliana used to be above them, ages ago. Now one's a magister troublemaker who better be taking care of himself or else and the other's a Divine who's smashing all that "human-first" Chantry bullshite to pieces.
With a sigh, she drops her gaze to this room: Solas's place.
"Mighta been his castle once, but it's not anymore. It's ours—well, was ours. Let's tell him so if he ever shows his butt-chin face here again." She gestures to the frescos. "I never pranked him when he was doin' these. Wish I had, now. But back then, seemed like it was helping people, to see what we done on these walls."
Sera grabs a brush. "Crept up to the Leliana's place and poured ice water on him when he was reading, though, after he talked elfy to me like I should know what mas-eludeen-lathan-what-frigging-ever meant. Prick. That's how I felt when I heard those words, too: all cold. Wanted to make him feel it, too."
And he'd let her alone about being elfy after that. Oh, gone on about what she should do about the Jennies, but he'd quieted down on the elfy shite to her face. She hated that. How could he be so kind but so not at the same time?
Sera slaps her brush against the wall, making a bright red blotch against soft brown. Imperfect and ugly.
"Dunno if he'll really care. He wants to destroy everything. Skyhold too, probably. But he might care. So let's wreck it." She draws a butt. Let him see her pissing all over his hard work. Let him choke on it.
Adder smiles. "All right."
So they do. Without the scaffold, they can't touch what's up high, but Sera stands on Adder's shoulders to draw erect cocks on some of the fighters or arrows through people's knees. Adder thinks to fill some smoke bombs up with red paint. Using a sling Sera used for Maker knows what prank, they launch the bombs up against the walls, splattering red all over people's heads.
Not that it's all butts and blobs: Adder does some writing. Turns out it's easy for her to write large, though her letters are still a bit crooked and shaky.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Adder underlines the "not."
"Whuzzat mean?"
Adder pauses before saying, "Do you remember a graveyard in the Fade?"
"A what? Ugh, no."
"The tombstones in the graveyard had the inner circle's names on them—and everybody's greatest fear. I stopped reading the tombstones once I realized, of course, but," she nods to her writing, "I remember his: dying alone."
"Fears? How'd—how'd that demon frigging know—" With a growl, Sera shakes her head, trying to shove these thoughts away. It feels wrong to use evil Fade-y demon knowledge against Solas. Sera almost says that, but stops herself. Solas wants to destroy the world. If this can rattle him even for a heartbeat, they've got to do it.
"I didn't look at your tombstone."
"Don't care if you did. Whatever. Got an idea, though." Dipping her brush in the bucket, she writes out DREAD WOLF, then paints over the "r." "Get it? It's a pun."
Solas was working on a mural when he vanished. It's a sketch of a wolf attacking a dragon's foot with a sword stuck through it. Right over the wolf, Adder writes THEDAS FOR ALL. Sera adds FENNY! at the bottom. Seems a natural stopping point, that.
"The Inquisition was for all of us," Adder says, staring at the words. "For everyone. Elves, humans, dwarves, Qunari, high- or low-born. Chantry mothers and repentant murderers. It didn't matter. It could be a safe haven for all us cast-offs." She sighs, gaze going to the table where Solas sat. "So many times I walked by here and just nodded to him. Maybe if we'd talked more..."
Sweet, soft Addie, thinking words can always change things. "All right—Solas part of our goodbye done." Sera drops her brush in her bucket. "Now's fun time."
"All right." Adder smiles, but Sera knows from her tone that her thoughts are still wolf-hunting. It'll be more work to get her in the shagging mood than usual, but sometimes that's half the fun.
Sera leads the way up the stairs. She likes standing a few steps above Adder and leaning down to kiss her. No matter if the angle's awkward or if she gets forehead or eyebrow instead of cheeks or lips. They go slow. Sera wants to kiss every part of skin that's showing.
"I love your tits," Sera says, reaching down to give lefty a pat.
"Aw, thanks, love. Yours aren't so bad yourself." Adder's thumb grazes the nipple on Sera's right tit. The nip perks up with only that. Sera's tits have always been so bloody sensitive. Blessing and curse, sometimes.
"Yeah, but they're not—" Sera flails a hand at Adder's chest, "—that. I had tits like yours, I'd show 'em off. Like Admiral No-Pants." Where's Isabela now? Meeting Varric in Kirkwall? Sailing her boat? Would've been nice to say goodbye, but she was off on some final mission with her crew during the Exalted Council and didn't have time to return to Skyhold. Probably still got at least some of the coin she won off Sera in their last dice game. She wore a low-cut top (well, seems she always does), and Sera's weakness for great tits did the rest.
Leaning down, Sera nuzzles her nose against Adder's back and forth. Twee enough to make a unicorn puke, sure, but sweetness might snuff out the sadness—and, besides, it all becomes sexiness in the end. Adder beams up at Sera, stroking her thumb down her cheek. Sera's proud of herself for this decision.
"I like that you keep the girls hidden all the time," Sera says. "Only we get to see 'em. Like our secret.
"You know, they was the first thing I noticed when we first met?" Sera walks up a few more steps and Adder follows. "Here's me, tryin' to stick to the shadows, nock an arrow and train it on whoever that bloke was and watch you, also, to see if you glowed since everyone keeps going on about how it's some Qunari that's the Herald of Andraste…. And I'm staring at your tits."
Adder's legs are so long she can take three steps at a time and come up to Sera's level. She kisses her on the lips, quick and soft. "You covered well. 'Just say 'what?'"
"Eh, I only managed it 'cuz I used that line loads of times."
"Awww, my sweet little unrepentant murderer."
Too many big words. Time to add another log to the fire. Palming one of Adder's glorious tits, she wets her lips and murmurs, "Know I'm gonna unrepent your ladybits." She's not using the word correctly, but sometimes it's a game to not.
Adder's gaze falls to Sera's moist lips before she rolls her eyes. But no snappy patter. She's getting to where Sera wants her to be.
When they enter their bedroom (for the last time, probably—a thought Sera shoves away), Sera waves to the satchel on the bed. Inside are their special tempest vials. "That's why it's taking me so long to pack. The last Skyhold time's gotta be special, yeah?"
Adder grunts, pleased.
Sera had the idea for tempest flask sexy-times ages ago, ever since she felt the faint tingle of lightning against her palm before she smashed a flask against her armour. She just needed smaller, safer vials. Fortunately, Dags helped out: she made glass vials the length of a middle finger, with glass strong enough to withstand some damage but still thin enough to keep the feel of the elements; she put leather on the vials for extra safety; she tweaked the tempest mixtures so they could burn for a half hour instead of dying out after a few seconds. Turns out Dagna had a good side business selling sex toys. Lots of things you can do with runes, as Adder and Sera and probably most of Skyhold and the Inquisition's armies found out.
Adder glances around at the rest of their room. "So we're also using your dirty laundry and some rainbow-coloured socks in our sex games?"
"Yeah, no, that's me being lazy. I just keep finding shite. Who knew I had so much stuff?"
The clothes come off as they make towards the bed: Sera's top slowly, showing off her stomach and tits before she tugs it over her head; Adder unwinding her scarf, letting Sera kiss her neck before she starts undoing her top; Sera dropping trou, giggling when Adder pinches her arse (of course Sera isn't wearing underpants).
Adder lies down on the bed, spreading her calves and propping herself up on her elbow, her gaze desire-dark. Just seeing that shade of orange makes Sera's bits slime up. Sera kicks off her shoes and leaps onto the bed. Straw crinkles inside the mattress. She gently nips a trail down Adder's inner thigh. More pudge there than there used to be. It only makes Sera love her more. As she nips, she strokes up and down the crotch of Adder's breeches, outside the lips then inside then wee circles up top. She wants to smell Adder's bits the moment she pulls her pants off. Adder chuckles breathlessly, twitching her hips into Sera's fingers.
Sera presses a tad harder before giving her bits a fond tap. Just you wait. Big plans for tonight.
Sera starts undoing Adder's left boot, and that's where things get weird.
Adder twitches like she's startled and sits up, eyes widening. "I've got it." She grabs at her right boot. The stump of her left arm twitches. Adder's left hand used to do everything, and it still wants to help. Ever since she lost her arm, Adder tries to get dressed on her own. Even asking Sera's help to write recommendation letters for her staff took something out of her. Oh, she joked about it, but a loud laugh don't mean hurt don't hurt.
Sera hadn't thought this'd become part of Adder's I-lost-my-arm shite. Sera would've taken off her boots even if she had both arms. Saying that would be a mood-spoiler, though, and the mood's already gone overripe. Sera makes a show of checking the vials again, that the leather's solid and the caps are all in properly. Once Adder's finished, Sera scoots in behind her, kissing the nape of her neck and shoulders as she unhooks her breast band.
"Get over here." At Adder's words, Sera swings herself over Adder's legs, facing Adder, legs spread and ladybits ready. Adder shrugs out of her band and the girls fall down to their natural position. Without support, they droop down like they're competing to see who can reach her bellybutton first. What happens when you're on the forty-er side of thirty. Her nips, dark grey as wet slate, are pointy nubs. That's important. Very important.
"Secret tits," Sera says, giggling. It's hard for her to catch her breath. Adder starts rolling Sera's breast-band over her head. That's over with right quick—no hooks or straps there.
Pulling Sera close and gently pushing her torso lower, Adder arches her back and brushes their nips together. Something like a static shock arc's beneath Sera's skin. She shivers, then shivers again knowing Adder can feel it through her palm and fingers spread out on Sera's back. Adder brushes their nips together a few more times. Hiss, gasp, grunt, groan goes Sera, who begins licking up the sweat gathering at her wife's neck.
She can feel Adder's vocal cords vibrate against her tongue as she says, "Your tits aren't secret. You must've flashed all of Skyhold." She pushes Sera's torso straighter. Sera's bits are throbbing, aching, needing more.
Adder starts kissing around her left tit, avoiding the sensitive nipple, and stroking Sera's swollen lips with her damp, warm fingers. When Adder gives her nose a tender bop and cups her cheek, Sera knows she's trying to keep the conversation going. Adder never judges if she can't think of anything to say, but Sera likes when she can at least try.
"Not everyone. I mean, Vivi deserved it because bitch. And that DeLauncet because hag... But Cass was an accident, honest."
Adder stops kissing her tits to throw back her head and laugh. "Really? That wasn't an invitation to join us in the bedroom?"
"Oi, don't be gross." Maybe someday Sera will be okay with a mate joining them for a tumble, but that's not today. Not that this stops Adder from innocently mentioning the beautiful Qunari birds she's shagged in the Valo-Kas and how those birds'd just love Sera. If Sera actually thought Adder was for-serious pushing, that'd bother her, but the stories are frigging hot, and Adder's more than happy to act them out with her—not so rough as when two Qunari go at it, Sera suspects, but it'd crush Adder if she ever hurt Sera.
"Okay, I won't be gross." Adder rolls her eyes. Her pupils are blown wide. Like the boot moment never happened. "I'll try to stop making everything about sex." She curls her index finger against Sera's clit as she says this. Breathe huffs out Sera's lungs. Honey spreads beneath her skin, its sweetness coating every nerve.
To keep things fair, Sera tweaks Adder's nips, first left then right. She gets a bit rougher than Adder does with her. Her nips aren't sensitive. It's not a Qunari thing; Sera thought it was until Bull set her straight. (Sometimes, she and him compared bedroom notes. Oh, no deep details—the less Sera hears about boy-parts, the better, and she don't want to make Bull jealous, since Adder's so fit and he never coulda got with her since she likes girls and all. Remembering Adder and Dorian's horrified faces when they overheard her and Bull going on about tongue technique can still bring on the giggles.)
"Mmm." Adder sighs, wetting her lips. Her finger moves to the clit-hood. Sera grunts in frustration—she was just fine with that finger right on her clit, thanks. Can they get back to that?
Seems they can't. With a few more strokes, Adder's hand leaves Sera's bits. Abandoning the nips, Sera pulls herself tight against her wife. She grinds her slick bits against Adder's stomach, feeling her warm—breeches? Sera has a clear memory of taking Adder's breeches off... But obviously that's a memory of one of the thousand times before. With fingers, with teeth, with toes.
Going to be a thousand more times, too. And more. She's alive. I'm alive. We're alive.
Sera kisses fiercely up and down Adder's neck. Adder's pulse drums quick and hard against her lips. And I'm going to fuck the shit out of her tonight.
Once I frigging get off, 'course...
Now and only now does Sera wish Adder's abs were as hard as they used to be. It's hard to come when thrusting against belly pudge. There's friction, but not quite enough or not quite where she needs it.
"Problems?" Adder purrs.
Sera moves her lips from Adder's neck to grimace at her.
"Use your words, love."
"Cunt," Sera spits out.
"Hmm. Is that a curse word or an order? Which could it be...?"
Sera raises her hand to flick Adder's ear, but stops. Wait—fingers! I have them! Ha! Sera plunges her fingers into her ladybits. Adder's too slow—or too one-handed—to stop her. She's gasping before she even touches her clit. Everything's heightened. The slightest movement sends bolts of warmth through her. This is her world now.
Well, her bits and her wife's face. Adder's smiling fondly at her but...she wouldn't have started this if she didn't want to finish it, right? Gulping, Sera stills her fingers. She can't bring herself to move them, but they're still. Sera widens her eyes at Adder. Hurry up, will you?
Adder looks surprised. Then, beaming, she kisses Sera's forehead. "Such a good lover. So perfect."
The soppy happiness washes off her face; something fiercer lies beneath. "I don't care that you've shown everyone your tits." She grips Sera's right nip, squeezing it just enough that Sera grunts. It's not that hard—she's never as hard as Sera sometimes wants—but even not-that-hard's got her burning right now. "Only I know about this. Or this."
Dropping her head, she moves her mouth toward Sera's right left tit. Qunari aren't really speedy types, so Sera's got time to bring her tit closer. Adder encircles the nip with her lips and sucks, sudden and hard.
"Fuck!" Sera snarls. Not just fire beneath her skin, now it's lightning shooting through all of her. She remembers her fingers when her bits clench. It'd be so grand to move... "Give it to me. C'mon, bitch. Finish what you—"
Adder sucks again and Sera words become a shout. Adder's the moon controlling Sera's waves, pulling her along, drowning her.
Removing her lips, Adder nudges her bare skull against Sera's chest. It takes her dizzy brain a few moments to get that this means 'lie down.' Sera flops onto her back just as Adder slides her feet out from under her. She waits for Adder to spread her legs apart. Adder grabs under her knee and spreads her left leg. There's no usual touch on the right leg. Oh, Andraste's ass—she's got no frigging left hand! Sera quickly spreads her right like just like Adder would've done it.
If Adder noticed that moment of stupid, she doesn't show it. She's eyeing Sera's ladybits like they're pirate treasure she's spent her whole life searching the seas for. Her eyes flick to Sera's and she chuckles. It's a little bit evil, but that just makes it hotter.
"They get to see your tits. I get to know your tits. Your ladybits." Adder's fingers slide against Sera's own and she presses Sera's thumb against her clit. And she doesn't stop. The pressure increases. It becomes circles.
Sera loves circles. Needs them, right there, yeah, just like that—
"Mm yeah, fuck, fuck that's—just fucking keep—yeah, yeah, fuck—"
"Your mouth," Adder says dryly. "I get to know you. They can think they know what we're all about. They can laugh or turn up their—"
When Adder's getting her chat on, she tends to underestimate how quick Sera goes from going to gone. Her ladybits clench twice then with a howled "Fuck-fucking-fuck!", she's gone. It's honey and butter and cream and candy and everything good washing over her. She can feel it to her toes and the roots of her teeth.
"—noses," Adder continues. "I don't care." Her fingers are now sliding Sera's own up and down her inner lips. Then back to the clit.
Sera sucks in air through clenched teeth, grimacing.
Her fingers stop. "Um, wait, love, is that pain or—?"
"Not. Pain." A fib: there is, but Sera's handled worse. The pleasure's more. And growing, faster even than before.
"Whew. As I was saying—" three circles one way, delicate, with the finger tip beneath the nail, "—you're the most important—" five circles the opposite, harder, with the finger pad, "—part of my world." The flat of her thumb nail, the sudden hardness taking her breath away. "All I need is—"
"Andraste-loving fuck shite yeah!" Sera howls and comes again.
"I was going to say 'you,'" Adder brings her fingers away, grinning as she watches Sera clench up and moan. "But you're right: everything we have is due to Our Blessed Lady. Praise Andraste." She licks Sera's slick from her fingers like it's savoury sauce from the finest chicken in the finest restaurant in Val Royeaux.
Gasping for air, Sera manages, "Praise Andraste." She lies spread out on the bed, boneless, panting. Once she gets enough air, she laughs. Adder moves off the bed and fills a cup with water from a pitcher on the night-stand. Sera didn't think of putting those out. Good thing one of us thinks ahead.
Adder takes a sip then hands the rest of the cup to Sera. Takes her a moment for her hand to listen to her brain, but she finally takes the cup and downs the water, pouring the dregs over her sweaty chest. The droplets slide between her breasts, becoming a river that sits in a valley between two pale mountains with pink tips.
Sera says, "So...what was you going on about?"
Adder laughs, bright and sharp. "Now that we're married, it's like you've just stopped listening."
"Take the hint and stop nattering on, then..." In case Adder isn't totally joking, Sera almost says that she's pretty sure loads more Skyholders know the secrets of Sera's tits or Adder's kinks than Adder likes to think. If they were less than quiet about their shagging before, the Exalted Council stripped all that away. After a moment's thought, though, she keeps that to herself.
Sera props herself up on her elbows. The water droplets trail down, becoming a lake in her bellybutton. Her gaze falls on the vials. "Oi! You forgot the flasks."
"Oh, shit. Sorry, love." Adder undoes the laces of her breeches. "You're distracting."
Sera hasn't forgotten that she wants to smell Adder's parts. She tosses the cup on the carpet and sits up. The droplets spill from her bellybutton to the forest of white-blonde hair above her ladybits. By then, it's as warm as her sweat.
It takes Adder a few more moments than usual to get breeches and underpants off, but once she does, Sera leans in, kissing her tight-coiled hair as she sniffs.
"Mm! Notes of hickory with hint of fleur-du-lis and an undertone of a child's teddybear abandoned by the roadside." Some awful ex-lover made Adder feel bad about how her ladybits smell and taste. The first time Sera went at them with tongue out, Adder murmured, "You don't have to—I taste pretty strong..." Sera had no time for that shite, so she started joking that she smelled like delicious roast ham down there. A stupid joke, but Adder chuckled.
Just like Adder chuckles now. "An interesting mix. What have I been using these bits for?"
"Know what I'm gonna use 'em for..." Sera whips back the duvet and sheets. "Get under, you." Tempest-flask sexy-times is even sexier when you don't know what to expect.
Adder covers herself up so only neck and head are showing. She even rests her hand behind her head as she watches Sera intently. With a flourish, Sera takes the first vial and pulls the top open for just a second before jamming it back down. It glows white beneath the leather and chills her fingers: ice. She makes her gestures big and broad as a magician as she shows Adder the cork so she can see how deep it goes. Then she holds the vial over the stone floor, grips it between two fingers and turns it upside down for twenty seconds or so. Nothing spills. Sera waves her hand over it, fingers wiggling: tah-dah!
"Sooooo much bloody buildup," Adder says in her Sera-voice. "Aaaaargh. Get on with it!"
"Safety first, loony." But she leans over and kisses Adder now and then as she goes through the boring shite for the fire and lightning vials.
Pulling away from the latest kiss, Sera is suddenly struck with the thought that Adder almost died in the Dar-whatever. That's a thought that sneaks up on her loads these days, jumping out and kicking her in the heart when she least expects it. Like now, when it isn't fair because Adder deserves to come just as hard as Sera did.
"Sera...?"
"Um, nothing, just..." Sera gulps, looks away, breathes in hard through her nose.
"Hey, love, I'm still here." Adder moves her hand from behind her head to stroke Sera's cheek.
"I know. Argh. Being stupid. Gimme a mo."
Adder's hand moves from her cheek, and there's a woosh of sheets. Sera glances back; the white cotton sheet is draped over Adder's face. "I'm not a ghoooooost." Adder makes her voice all spooky and bobs up and down. "Ooooo..."
Sera stares at her. Stupid body—she has to knee a giggle in its dangly-bits to keep it from escaping. She is not giving Adder the satisfaction of laughing at something this stupid. No. "Regretting that marriage thing, by the way."
"Oooo..." Adder lowers her head, like the ghost is sad.
"So, I'll just put the flasks away then..."
Adder yanks the sheet down. "All right, all right! You're so cruel, sometimes, you know that?"
Sera only realizes when she grabs the vials and dives under the covers that Adder cunningly tricked her out of being sad.
It smells like sweat and Adder's dribbly bits below the covers. They're both sort of metallic, but sweat's salty and ladybits smell sorta tangy. Sera shivers and giggles. Grand smells, these. Adder likes the wait, getting hotter and hotter. Good thing, too, since she gets hot just as quick as Sera does. If Adder was as impatient as Sera, the two wouldn't have time to do anything other than shag.
But it's a bit more work to get Adder to come good and proper. She's used to giving lovers what they want. So what if she just grunts when she should be screaming? That's been enough for some ex-lovers that deserve to be exes. Sera had to break through Adder's people-pleasing routine. Now she gives her wife what she really needs.
Holding the cold vial in front of her, Sera brushes it against Adder's belly, grinning to feel her stomach tighten. Adder knows to shout if things aren't all right—all she does is huff softly. Sera slides the vial up and down from the bottom of her breasts to just before her ladybits hair, up and down, then circles it around her bellybutton. The repeats the trail with her lips, kissing her chilled skin.
Right before Sera finishes up with a kiss to Adder's bellybutton, she brings the fire vial against Adder's left tit. Adder grunts in surprise. After a heartbeat's pause for Adder to say stop, which doesn't come, Sera kisses her bellybutton. Stay here, belly, and belly pudge, and little downy hairs, and outie button. You don't get to leave me.
The fire vial casts just enough light to see Adder's nip perk up. Sera moves it to her right, watches it grow fully hard, then slides the vial between those baby's-head-sized tits and lands where the ice vial did. No kisses, this time. Why do the same thing twice? After putting the lightning vial between her teeth, Sera runs ice and fire up and down Adder's thighs. They quiver. From thighs to calves, which twitch, and then to the toesies, which curl. Sera switches fire and ice to opposite hands on the way back up. Every now and then, her finger or palm brushes against goosebumped skin.
When the vials are at mid-thigh, Sera leans in and brushes the lightning vial against the lips of Adder's ladybits.
"Maker!" Adder grunts.
Sera twitches the lightning vial away as if she didn't notice and continues fire and ice on their path up. They do little dances along Adder's hipbones. They march their way along her ribs. Sera reaches up and they lie along her collarbones like jewels. She rolls them down the slope of Adder's tits like they're kids rolling down a hill and seeing who'll hit the bottom faster. Ice wins.
"Not saying no to a little more lightning..."
Rolling her eyes, Sera bites back a sigh. They're tempests. Since when does a storm take requests? One other tempest-flask sexy-time, Sera kept shouting out Khim's pretentious shite while they shagged.
Sera drops the vial from her lips and goes in, hard, against Adder's ladybits, tongue swiping up.
All of Adder goes tight. Sera can feel her wife's thighs against her ears. "Mmph!"
Adder wasn't lying about her taste, but Sera loves it. She slurps up again and again. Adder's clit pulses against her tongue each time. Hello, there. Long time, no see. Now you are definitely not allowed to leave.
"Not—ah—saying no to—um—this, either."
A gentle dab with the tongue tip, like an artist painting very fine dots on canvas. Sera puts the ice vial up against her left tit. Adder gasps. It's probably not quite on the nipple, but Sera rolls it around enough that it's got to hit it sometime.
Just as the light tongue-touches are starting to get predictable, Sera tilts her head, spreads her lips and sucks Adder's clit into her mouth. Adder cries out sharply. Lightning makes an appearance below, roaming up and down Adder's inner thighs and teasing along her taint and bum cheeks. Frig, shoulda thought of lube so we could have some bum fun! Ah well. Next time.
Switching the ice vial from right tit to left, Sera rolls it around in sloppy circles as she snatches up the fire vial. Sucking Adder's clit like it's a sucking-candy that's gonna dissolve in her mouth, she puts the fire vial and lightning vial side by side.
They go up Adder's ladybits, of course, and Sera starts thrusting.
An unhinged sort of laugh-whoop is Sera's response. She grins, knowing her wife can feel her mouth-lips against her lower-lips.
Breathlessly, Adder slurs out, "Nice to have two fucking hands."
Cold drips into Sera's stomach. You say stupid shite when you're flying high: old lovers' names, swear words when you're normally prim as a Chantry sister, that sort of thing. Sera's said some things that Adder still teases her about. This isn't something Adder would say.
Sera's suddenly quite happy that she's busy eating her wife out. No need to respond, then.
Sera keeps switching it up: ice ever so briefly against the ladybits while lightning slides along the backs of her knees, for example, or lightning vibrating against her clit while Sera sucks her nipple into her mouth and fire circles the other nip. Never the same thing twice. Always an ear out for a no or stop, but Sera hasn't crossed any lines yet.
Adder's breathing fast. No more words now, just loud animal grunts. Some bitch made her embarrassed by those—or maybe it was the world with it's "savage Qunari" shite. It's a long journey to get her this way, but Sera's learned something about patience all these long years she's been walking this earth.
Then, Adder just bellows, wordless and wanting. Her body clenches and relaxes, then clenches and relaxes again. Sera sighs, tired—well, her jaw, mostly—but thrilled in the way she used to be when she looked at the scars in the sky after Conipipip died, before the scars became commonplace. I did this. Aren't I the frigging best?
Poking her head out of the covers, Sera remembers what fresh air feels like, and mops her forehead and neck with a corner of the sheet. She brings the vials with her and wraps them up in the leather satchel she stored them in.
Adder lies on her back, panting. Her entire body gleams with sweat. Sera can just make out the beat of her heart twitching at her left tit. Sera waits until her eyes can focus on her then leans in and kisses her lip to lip, deep and long.
"How was that, then?" Sera asks, sliding off the bed and standing up. Her turn to get the water.
Adder grunts, her gaze on Sera. It's full of wonder.
"Use your words. Communication's real important."
As Sera pours a cup, Adder gains enough control of her hand to give Sera two fingers. Sera giggles in reply.
After Adder drains her glass and Sera sets it back on the night-stand, her wife mumbles, "Sera?"
"Mm?" Sera cuddles up; Adder rolls onto her side to pull Sera in close.
"We should get married."
"Where?"
From the pause that follows, whatever she was going to say is gone now. Adder flaps a hand, meaning the room or the bed or the fireplace, hard to tell. "Here." The joke's supposed to be some ridiculous place—a Crow's headquarters, in the middle of a nug-racing track—but Sera likes it when Adder can't think of a punchline. Adder can be more than 'the funny Qunari' with her.
"So," Sera says, "still want the steak?" She nods at the satchel full of vials. "Or plain old bread?"
"I'm stuffed, thanks." Adder smiles dreamily.
"Well, lemme know when you're peckish."
"Very stuffed. You're an amazing cook. You deserve a little steak, though. Sorry I forgot earlier."
"Then that'd be me three times and you once. Even more unfair, that."
"Heh." Adder strokes her cheek with a rough, callused finger. "Knowing you, it'd be four or five or six... Anyway, since when do you count? What about 'Not a competition, is it, Inky?'"
"We been spendin' a whole month getting everything squared away and wrapped up neat and tidy. Just...I dunno, seems like this should be nice and proper, too."
"I see. Well, I don't think my delicate health can take anything else right now. So, how about we stop for now. But tomorrow, after we've packed up and left Skyhold, we'll stop at an inn, and you can eat me out until I start swearing as much as you do. How's that sound?"
Always the ask. Always the option to say no. Sera's love for her wife bubbles up and makes her giggle. "Brilliant."
What's not so brilliant is that, like usual, Adder's lying on her side with her right arm on top and her left arm tucked tight beneath her. She does that way too often these days. She also stands with her arm to Sera in a way that feels planned. It's like she's ashamed her left arm is gone.
Time to do something about this.
"Wait." Sera peers hard at her left side. "Whuzzat?"
Adder sighs and grumbles, "My frigging stump." She brings it out from beneath her, waving it up and down.
Sera cringes back, squealing in horror. "Why'd you show me that?! Argh, shite, can't ever not-see it." She flops onto her belly, drags herself to the side of the bed, and mimes vomiting on the floor. "Can't even look at you now." She almost falls off the bed doing another loud fake puke. "It's gonna chase me 'round Skyhold in my nightmares." She pretends to spit and wipe her mouth.
When she raises her head, Adder's rolling her eyes. "All right, all right—point taken." She waves Sera over with her left arm and Sera cuddles in close. "I just want my arm back so much. Sometimes I just want to tell Dorian, fine, get your Tevinter friends to make one. Sacrifice a few virgins and babies if you have to. I don't care."
Adder wasn't always her name; it started as a nickname from her merc days about her love of poisoned daggers, like a snake's fangs. Now she can't even be a merc anymore, or, if she can, it'll be years of retraining herself. Even then, can she be as good as she was before?
Why can't I figure out what to say? Opening her mouth, Sera tries to come up with something.
"I was in some small town in Orlais once. In the tavern, there was a man cleaning the floor. He looked like shite: no legs, no eyes, no ears, and only a few fingers on each hand." Sera demonstrates with her own hands, holding up only her pointer and ring fingers on her right hand, only the thumb and ring finger on her left. "Pulled himself along the floor on a little wheeled board. He'd been captured by bandits ages ago and they cut into him 'cuz pricks is gonna prick. Some noblewoman felt bad since it happened on her watch, so she got a healer in to help him, but so much of him was rotting away that...well, didn't help much.
"You could tell everyone in that tavern was watching me to see how I'd take the sight of 'im. The bar girl, the owner, the regulars. One side-eye outta me and," she mimes throwing something away, "I'd be gone. I was all right, after a mo. We got to talkin'. He chatted me up, even. Awkward.
"Long and short of it, seems like he had an all right life. Not sayin' I knew the bloke's heart or whatever—it was just a short chat—but he had people. So...maybe that's a good start?"
"Always good to get some perspective." Adder's face goes serious. She kisses Sera's cheek then looks into her eyes. "Sera, if anything ever happens to me…."
A chill shoots down Sera's spine.
"Promise me…" she smirks, "that I'll be your last Qunari."
Shoulda known a set up when I heard it. "Pff, no. It'll be all Qunari, all the time." She runs her fingers along Adder's shoulder. "Those other Qunari birds'd just be for fun, though. Wouldn't be for true."
"I'd want you to be happy. With anyone. I like to think you'd want the same for me."
"Well, you think wrong. You want happy, adopt a dog or a cat, but I'll be your last lover. Last and first." Sera frowns. "I was first, yeah? What you said at our wedding wasn't just a story?"
During their vows—what few words Adder got out before Sera kissed her for so long that Leliana just carried on with the ceremony—Adder called Sera her first love. Over the years they've been together, Adder's mentioned lovers, but Sera never kept those conversations going. They never seemed important.
"I meant it," Adder says. After a few moments, she adds, "At Granny Mae's—" frowning, she stops herself, then says, "—as a whore, sex was forced on me. After I ran, it took me a long time to figure out what I wanted in the bedroom. I even tried men before I figured out they could be fun but they never got me hot. Once I figured out what I liked, I took what I wanted from anyone who offered. Some lovers wanted more, but I always turned them down. Love never even crossed my mind.
"Shokrakar—" her mentor in the Valo-Kas (and possibly lover, though that's just Sera's suspicion), "—she's never once fallen in love. I figured I must be like her." She strokes Sera's cheek. "Turns out, I'm not."
So Adder meant 'lovers' as in 'shag-partners,' not 'lovers' as in 'people I love.' "Huh. Weird, me with more experience than you at something. Not love was all good for me, mind. They'd get boring or I'd get bitchy or both at the same time. 'Who doesn't like cookies, stupid?' 'You sewed that button on wrong, pumpkin—can't you pay attention?' Then 'Oi! Piss off, I'm out!' Sometimes with crying."
"Good thing you got away from whomever nicknamed you 'pumpkin.' She was clearly a twit. Pumpkin. Maker!"
"Aw, made sense at the time." Since Sera usually only brings up old lovers to bitch about them, Adder looks surprised. Sera explains: "I dunno...some were nice, just we weren't fitting right. Wish I could do things over with some."
Like she's been doing loads since the Exalted Council, Sera thinks back. "What'd you think of me that first day we met?"
"The accent threw me for a bit," Adder says, chuckling. "Which wasn't so bad. I had to pay attention to your body language. The way you fought those guards you'd de-breeched. The way you moved. The way you grinned, so big and unafraid. So, in summary, I was confused and turned on."
"Turned on? Shite. I was being right stupid. Coulda been having this," she slaps Adder's arse, "months earlier if I'd tried harder."
"Mmhmm, that one's on you. I would've done you after your first day in Haven."
"What, really?"
"Maybe I was a bit more subtle than going 'Woof,' at a total stranger, but I definitely remember some flirting. And after a few months of rolling around, we probably would've gone our separate ways. Just like all my other relationships. So," she kisses Sera's nose, "thank you for being so picky.
"You know, I've always wondered if anything in particular made you decide to pursue me."
"I think...something 'bout pinecones?"
"Huh?"
Sera thinks some more, but nothing pops up. "Eh, it'll come to me."
"So...that's it. Not how I accepted you no matter what, not how I made you laugh, not the fun we had together. Pinecones."
"Wow, shite, sorry I can't explain something even frigging poets and philosophers can't, Addie. I mean, I guess...after Haven, you got all serious. And you're always 'I'm Adder Adaar, I killed five blokes with a grin and my pinkie finger.'"
"Ooo. I should tell Varric I have the title of my biography."
"And you keep interrupting me with jokes when I'm trying to talk about serious shite."
"I do! I'm so awful." Adder kisses her cheek.
"Just...I didn't think you'd need me much. Like, we'd do some pranks and share some laughs, but that'd just be the you that keeps everyone laughing not...the more part of you." Sera scrunches up her face. "That was daft, wasn't it? Why don't I just stick to shagging? I'm good at that. Gotta stop myself from talking too much."
"I know what you meant, love."
"Makes one of us."
After a few moments of silent basking, like lizards sunning themselves on the sun of each other, Adder comments, "I wish I could twirl you."
"You can, dummy. Get up."
Adder does. Sera wraps herself around Adder as Adder twirls her, humming one of the songs they danced to at their wedding: The Ox at Halamshiral. What other weirdy would play a song insulting themselves at their own wedding? Only Adder. Only her wife.
Their wedding was brilliant. Sera snagged loads of flowers from the gardens at Halamshiral—making sure to be caught and chased a time or two so nobody pinned the destruction on the gardeners—and threw them all about Halamshiral's chapel. Leliana, the frigging Divine herself, led the rites. Everybody was there, laughing and cheering and singing and drinking.
After a while, Adder grumbles, "It's not the same."
"So? Not the way you did it before. Still works, yeah? Don't need you to support all of me. I can hold myself up, too."
They wake up before dawn. Before the Exalted Council, they had vague plans to throw their bed off the balcony. But it's still dark out, they've seen beds get smashed up by the fall down the cliff before, and moving the bed will be different for Adder with only one arm.
"Want to go to the roof?" Adder asks. It's such a perfect idea Sera wonders why she didn't think of it.
They get dressed. They're both wearing fine armour, veil quartz and dragon-scale and the like, but tinted to make it look less show-offy. Adder's gone her usual black and brown; Sera decided on all plaidweave and a fine hat with a dark blue plume in it. For the first time in years, Adder's got no hairy eyeball on her chest.
Sera ties her wedding-dress armband on her upper arm. At her wedding, Sera spilled something on her dress, like she figured she would. The only thing for it was to cut the dress up into white and gold strips. She'll sew bits of her dress into every outfit she owns when she's got a spare moment. Between writing Adder's letters, packing, and goodbye presents for Bull and the Bull's Chargers, she hasn't had one yet.
They sit out on the roof like they used to, legs dangling over the edge, Sera swinging hers back and forth and Adder still.
"We'll see for-real sunsets and rises once we're gone," Sera comments. In Skyhold, you can just catch a blush of pink or orange, but there's too many mountains in the way to really watch the sun come up or go down.
"I'll miss the mountains." But Adder's not looking at the mountains as she says that. She's looking at Skyhold, the courtyard, then the stairs to the great hall, then up to the battlements.
"I won't miss the sodding cold." Struck by a memory, Sera giggles. "Remember that time we was up here and we threw that old apple at Cass and she spun 'round and frigging high-kicked it into two pieces?"
"Oh yeah! And she just raised her eyebrows at us and said, 'You have something to say about my diet, Inquisitor?'" Adder does an awful Cassandra voice, but Sera lets her get away with it.
Suddenly, Adder jolts, like she just realized she forgot something.
"Sera," Adder says excitedly, "give me the name of a pub in Denerim."
"Um...the Gnawed Noble Inn?"
"Good. Good, good, good." She doesn't say what it's for, but seems she needs space to think, so Sera gives it.
Morning light brings the Chargers out to the stables. Bull saddles the dracolisk. It's too badass not to ride, he says. Krem is getting ready with the Bog Unicorn. Rocky's riding the Battle Nug. Nice to know that Adder's weirdy mounts are going to a good cause. There's been a flood of offers for the Bull's Chargers. Everyone wants a piece of the group that helped the Inquisition.
Bull's typically Bull about it. "We've probably got a good few years of this before things go back to normal," he said one night after Krem handed him their fourteenth letter. "Might as well enjoy it while we can."
"Chargers!" Sera calls out. "Got you some gifties." She holds up all the socks she's knitted. Each one's a different colour; some have three or four colours; a few have tassels or pom-poms. What else do you get a mercenary group with the finest mounts, finest armour and finest weapons Thedas has on offer? She likes the idea of the Chargers going into battle wearing the world's ugliest socks.
It turns out Krem's got a gift for her, too. "You got a tell when you're playing cards," he says. "Whenever you get a good hand, you glance around real quick like you're making sure no one's peeking."
"Shite. Really?"
He grins. "It's how I lightened your purse last night." Krem won last night's Wicked Grace game. He always does.
"Shite-nugget. You watch out—I'll destroy you next time."
"I'm sure you'll try." Krem looks over Sera's shoulder at Adder, who's come to say goodbye. He gives Sera a friendly shoulder punch. Adder gets a handclasp and a fond "I'll look after the chief, Your Worship." He looks between the two of them. "You two take care of each other."
Once the gifts are handed out, the Chargers give Adder, Bull and Sera some space.
Bull is looking unusually serious. "Before I go, boss…. If you get a shot at Solas, a real chance to end his crazy plan once and for all, take it."
"You didn't hear him. Even he doesn't want to succeed, not deep down. I can talk him out of it." For all that Sera jokes that Adder shouldn't keep her mind too open or it'll fall out her head, on this subject it's locked up tight. She still believes the lie that was Solas.
Sera says, "This is the kind, considerate gent who said to her, "Oi, good thing you're not like your usual savage Qunari.' Biggest compliment he could muster was 'You're different.'"
Predictably, Adder smiles. "If I stopped being friends with everyone who said something shitty now and then," she nudges Sera in the ribs, "I wouldn't have a lot of friends."
"He probably muttered 'Shame to see such a credit to her race go when I kill everybody and bring back the right sort of people,' after you left."
"He's a friend, he's hurting, and he needs my help," Adder says serenely, like this isn't even an argument they're having right now. "I'd do the same for either of you."
Sera and Iron Bull share a look. 'I'm on it,' Sera tries to tell him with her stare. 'I'll do what needs doing. Not a problem.' Which isn't quite the truth.
It's more a kick to the heart than she expects, imagining her arrow between Solas's eyes, which she's imagined a lot this past month. The image makes her remember him after his spirit friend died: face expressionless, gaze elsewhere, movements so careful, like he'd fall apart otherwise. (Sera didn't offer condolences—Solas's sodding fault for making nice with a thing that could become a demon, wasn't it? Back then, things were clearer.) Makes her remember that he always helped make camp with no moaning or faffing about. Just always there, passing you a tent stake or starting a fire without being asked. Makes her remember that he hates tea.
But Sera was never a person to him. Nobody was, not Adder or Cass or Varric. So if all these grand, brilliant people weren't real to him, then he won't be real to her. What's a weepy feeling or two against the fate of the world?
Adder brightens. "Anyway, on to more important matters: I thought of my crippled Qunari joke!"
"Let's hear it."
"So, two crippled Qunari walk into the Gnawed Noble Inn in Denerim. One of them's a woman with broken horns, missing an arm at the elbow, with a peg leg. The other's a man, big as a horse. His entire left arm is gone, and half his cheek was torn away, exposing the entire right side of his jaw. The pommel of a huge sword juts over the man's head like a third horn, and the woman is covered with daggers.
"The entire tavern goes silent. Everybody watches these strange foreigners. The barman doesn't seem to care. He calmly asks them what they want.
"'Maraas-Lok,' the man replies.
"'We don't have that, but we've got Garbolg's Special Reserve.'"
"They drink it, sitting in a shadowy corner. The regulars stare in awe as the barman chats with them like they were anybody else.
"When they leave, one of the regulars asks, "Jim—how'd you talk to them like they was people?'"
"'What, that?' says Jim. 'Come on, mates. Them two Qunari was 'armless.'"
Adder pauses. "Get it?"
Sera whoops with laughter and Bull chuckles, but it's short. By her frown, Adder was clearly hoping for more.
"Eh," Bull makes a 'so-so' gesture, "too long. I think you're better at situational comedy than straight up joke-making."
"Everyone's a critic." She smacks him on the shoulder. He smacks her back. She smacks him a bit harder.
"Careful, boss—you don't want to hurt your wrist. You've only got one, after all."
Adder laughs. Something in Bull's face shifts, and he pulls Adder into a bone-breaking Qunari hug. She hugs back. Sera launches herself into the hug, of course.
"I owe Dorian a sovereign," Bull says, pulling back slightly, his arms still around the two of them. "He was certain we'd break down and hug."
"We'll tell him I started it," Adder says. "Although my side of the hug was a little half-hearted." She wiggles her stump.
"Ha! See, situational humour. Keep that up, maybe you'll be good at it someday."
Sera steps away from the two of them and starts rifling through her pack for Bull's present.
Adder snickers. Then her smile wilts. She stares up into his eye. Her lips part, but she needs to gulp and take a breath before she can say, "Bull..." His name quivers in her throat, which means pain, but there's no tightness around her eyes and mouth. Pain, but not deep. Maybe even pain, the good kind. Adder's smile peeks through next, smaller than before. "I..."
"Shhh, boss. I know." Smiling, he chucks her under the chin. Like, Sera realizes, an older brother would his little sister. "Ben-Hassrath, remember?"
"Really? You were Ben-Hassrath?" Adder steps out of the hug. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"
Sera finally finds Bull's present. "Here, you." It's a new eyepatch. On its front, Sera sewed an eye the same shape and colour as Bull's remaining one. Let him think that she just had seafoam green and silvery grey thread lying around, that she didn't have to special order those colours from Val Royeaux. Sera dyed the thin rope loads of colours. Again, nothing special to have bright red and blue and green or even purple, right? Not for the Inquisition. They're not even vitaar colours at all because why would Sera even pay attention to that shite? There's little dragon heads at the end of each rope carved out of leather that looks a bit like dragon webbing in the right light. Maybe they're the heads of the first and last high dragon she and Bull ever fought together. Not that Bull would even remember that.
Just a trinket, really.
"It's so people will think you got two eyes," Sera says, pointing to the eye on the front. "The straps are rope so everyone'll think it's just part of your weirdy ropey Qunari armour thing. There: some tactics for you, mate. You're welcome."
Bull grins down at her. "I'll treasure it forever, Sera." He didn't say wear it, but Sera doesn't care much. She made it knowing it wasn't Bull's usual style. It's not the gift that's important; it's the giving. "So...letters to you two still go to the Montilyet villa, right?"
"Yeah. No telling how we'll get there or when, but we're planning on taking advantage of her hospitality."
No one really wants to leave. It's Bull who finally clears his throat and steps back. He looks out over the Chargers, who are just milling about waiting for them. "Well, time to go."
Adder nods. "See you around, Bull."
"You too, Adder." 'Adder,' when she's always been 'boss.' He turns and walks over to his dracolisk.
Adder watches the Chargers with a friendly smile on her face, but Sera can see her jaw is clenched. The smile's costing her. Sera grabs her wife's hand. "I don't want to hear a peep outta you," Sera hisses. "Just imagine how high the odds must've been that there'd be tears. Bull would've bet on you being a hardass bitch. We don't want to see our Bull lose all his money to Dorian, do we? He'd never shut up about it. You'd be on your deathbed and he'd be all 'Remember that time I bet Bull you'd be a soggy bint and then you were?'"
Sera keeps up a stream of prattle until Bull and the Chargers are out the final gate—but then Bull, the prick, raises his hand before the portcullis comes down. Adder turns her head and tries to pretend she's coughing as she raises her hand in farewell. Sera brings hers up and waves frantically in a way she hopes says 'Don't you forget me, you shithead.'
The gate comes down. The Chargers are gone.
"Stone-cold bitches," Adder sniffles.
"That's us." Sera pulls a hanky from a pouch at her waist. It's hard. Dorian was always going to leave—he was too Tevinter not to go back. But the years went on and Bull and the Chargers stayed with the Inquisition. Always at the Herald's Rest or in the courtyard training. Always there when you needed a game or some arrow practice or the advice of a good mate.
At least the crying ends quickly, and the tears and snot are easily wiped away. Their audience is also busy pretending it didn't see any tears, so that helps, too.
The stable boys, groomsmen and Horsemaster Dennet will be the last to leave Skyhold. The stable lot seemed to agree that they couldn't let the men and women who stitched the sky and saved the world saddle their own mounts. It's a point of professional pride.
Sera thinks of all her little-people mates. Maryden won't be singing songs about them, but they were the heart of Skyhold. What would this place have been without Cabot's watchful presence behind the bar or Calas and Martine taking orders and giving sass? Without Bernie and Alriss in the kitchen, always ready to prepare pretzels no matter what? Without Mundare the messenger, who sighed whenever she saw Sera but still delivered her pranks to Cullen and Josie anyway? They made Skyhold a home. Sera hopes they find their way in the world.
"Inquisition," greets Horsemaster Dennet. Sera lets Adder handle the goodbyes; Dennet still holds a grudge against her. Sera doesn't even remember the prank now, but he glares at her every time he sees her. Some people need to learn to let things go.
"Lady Sera, here's your mount!" Barty Greenwood beams as he leads out Sera's horse, Brownie, saddled and ready. Thirteen and growing like a weed (the boy, not the horse). Sera saved his life from Adder's rat-shit brother a few months back, and he's never forgotten. Nor has his mother, who's approaching at a fast clip, Barty's little sister toddling at her side.
"So, Barty," Sera says, loud enough that the courtyard can hear, "let's sum up the Shagging Lessons. One: clit's not hard to find, it's up top, and find it you must. Two: if it looks like she don't want to do it, you don't do it. Just 'cuz you got a prick don't mean you get to be a prick. Three: going in the back door—"
"Sera!" Adder snaps. Barty's face has gone bright pink; spots of colour have appeared on Barty's mum's cheeks. Sera feels a petty glee at getting back at Barty for all his Lady Seras and his mum for all the tears and hugging and the constant attempts to pay Sera back for saving her precious baby.
"What? Heard him talking shite with his mucky little friends 'bout how many girls he's shagged, but could he tell me how girl-parts worked? Not at all. Figured he needed proper instruction, if he was gonna do what he was pretendin' he'd already done."
"I'm so sorry," Adder says to Barty's mum. "She means well."
Sera mounts Brownie easily as Barty's mum clears her throat. "I'm...I'm sure she does, Herald. Lady Sera, I know in the past you've refused to speak of gifts for all you've done for my family—"
"Not why I saved Barty's life, is it?" It was the right thing to do.
"—But I hope that, on the day you leave to start a new future with your," the faintest of pauses, "wife, you'll accept this token of appreciation from all of us." She gestures to all the stable boys and girls. A sweet-faced elven girl brings out two dolls: Adder and Sera. Barty's mum is a seamstress, and she knows her stuff. They're nothing too grand, just cotton and felt with button eyes, grey for Sera and orange for Adder. The hair on doll-Sera's head is life-like. Probably horse hair. They even got Adder's horn nubbies.
"The children worked so hard on them," Barty's mum continues. Sera doubts most of them saw a stitch of work.
"You all did a wonderful job," Adder says, accepting the dolls. She takes the Adder one. Her left arm twitches before she remembers to take the Sera doll in her right hand. "Look at the attention to detail in this armour!" The silver Inquisition eye is stitched on Adder's chest, which manages to look sort of like the Dragon Hunter armour she usually wears. Doll-Sera's not wearing armour, just the usual running-around-Skyhold getup.
Barty's mum smiles, utterly delighted. "You can give them to your own children, someday."
Sera blinks.
Adder chuckles. "Ah, we've only been married a month and already it starts."
Of course, Sera realizes, to most people this is Adder's retirement. They don't know about the new job to stop Sol-ass from crashing the Veil down. Maybe they'll never have to know. Maybe they'll stop Fenny before he starts, and this secret war won't touch the little people at all.
I'm blaming this softie streak on Addie. Of course, this war will spread to the little people. That's what war does. Sera will be here to protect them. These days, there doesn't even need to be coin in it. She's all fired up by just the principle.
She passes Sera the dolls for her to jam into one of her many disorganized packs. Funny—seems like they made Sera floppy and flexible while Adder's stiffer and stronger. Did they just run out of stuffing? Or maybe how we work isn't that hard to figure out from the outside? But probably the stuffing thing.
Sera feels she's got a duty to the younger generation to add, "Uh, not sure you know how it works with two women, Mrs. Barty's Mum... Oi, Barty, new lesson: two women means no babies."
But the weird part is, now that the idea's there, Sera can kind of see it. Maybe a little dwarflet. Wouldn't that be just too cute, all wrapped in a blankie and cuddled in Adder's arms as she sings him a lullaby? (Sera revises the mental image—arm, singular. Adder could probably hold a dwarf kid one-handed.) Or some snotty teen human who's down on her luck and needs a place to stay and they take her in until one day they all realize she's staying with them no matter what. Or an elf, one of them mages turned out by the Dalish when they got too many, but Adder and Sera find him and raise him to never let anyone call him less-than, not ever.
We could start an orphanage! Then we could be parents to kids without parents—
Sera shakes her head. Right. World to save, first.
Oh, and maybe find out how your wife feels about kids. Or how you feel about 'em outside of daydreams.
She glances at Adder and finds Adder eyeing her expectantly. In fact, all the stable lads and lasses and Barty's mum are expecting something from her.
"We're saying our goodbyes," Adder supplies.
"Right. Um, thanks for everything, everyone. Andraste watch over you and all that shite. And Barty, remember me saving your life? You owe it to me to remember the lessons." She grins at his mum. "The shagging lessons."
Barty's mum huffs. Her son starts blushing again. Clearing his throat, he mumbles something that sounds enough like "Yes, Lady Sera," that Sera drops the issue.
Adder and Sera ride their horses out of the inner gate, across the stone walkway, then out of the first portcullis. Once they've finished, they stay there a while staring up at Skyhold while Brownie and Blondie shift their weight or toss their manes.
Adder murmurs, "I didn't run. I've run from so much in my life—until this. I stayed. I stayed until it was clear staying was hurting things instead of helping. That's something, right?"
"Yeah." Adder's gotta know she's squeezing her hand with her mind, though they can't do it for-real since their horses are too far away.
"Well." Adder sighs. "Goodbye, Skyhold."
"Goodbye home. And, yeah, I know my true home is wherever you are, Addie." And they've got other homes—with Divine Leliana, with Cass, with Bull and Varric and Dorian and everyone who's not Vivi. Loads of friends and loads of connections. More than Sera could've ever dreamed. "But...it's different, innit? Not every home where you got a tavern."
"Clearly, we need to make a tavern out of our fancy house in Kirkwall."
"Brilliant. Problem solved!" Sera keeps staring up at her old home. She knew she shouldn't have gotten attached, but she did. "We can come back, yeah? When we off Fenny—" at Adder's reprovingly raised eyebrow, Sera changes this to, "—or talk him outta his crazy. Just for a visit."
"Sure, we can come back," Adder says softly.
"Maybe even before we deal with Fenny? 'Course, Skyhold might be some big old spy-hive full of elfy Fen-suckers. Gotta purge it, then."
Once, Sera never would've looked back because it would've hurt too much. She finds, to her surprise that, while this hurts, she can welcome this pain in. Is this how it feels to grow up? You can feel different types of pain and it don't wreck you? Maybe I'll ask Addie sometime. She's real old.
Adder's the first to move, clicking at Blondie so she starts walking away. Trying to swallow the lump in her throat, Sera follows.
After a few moments, Sera eyes her wife. Gloom will always ooze its way into their lives. Into everyone's lives, really. That's just how life goes. So you gotta punch sadness in the face while you can. "Oi, Addie! We ever shagged on horseback?"
"Let's get used to these horses before we try that." Adder turns from Skyhold to the road through the Frostbacks. "Race you to that ridge over there!" As she's saying it, she spurs Blondie forward. The mare starts galloping.
"Oi!" Sera kicks her heels into Brownie, sending him galloping after.
Adder twists in her saddle and sticks her tongue out at Sera.
"Bitch!" Sera shouts through her laughter.