Author's Note: This story is something I wrote quite a while back on Artemis Fowl Confidential Fanfiction, and my writing style's changed some since then. I don't really write Artemis Fowl any more, because after book six the plotlines just got so silly... I still haven't found time to read the most recent book.
It was amazing how many people had come. She hadn't honestly expected more than a few locals, and yet, here were at least thirty people crammed into her tiny house, eating cookies. Some of them were thugs, big and muscular, with fake teeth, and some looked terrified and paranoid, as if they expected to be attacked or arrested any minute now. Others were staring around is disbelief, as if they, like her, hadn't realized just how many people had a grudge against Artemis Fowl II.
Denise grimaced, and then called for attention. "I'd like everyone to introduce themselves and expain why they hate Artemis Fowl... I'll start. I'm Denise Elhorn, and I'm American... I came to Ireland to take care of my grandparents. I was unable to get a good job so I became a waitress. I lost my job, and $5,000, because I accidentally spilled coffee on him, and he sued me for the cost of his suit... I wasn't able to get a job for a couple years, and I still can't get a good one."
A Chinese man stood up next. He was one of the twitchy ones. "My name is Nguyen Xuan, and my life was threatened by that boy. He and his butler forced me to go to a place where I believe I was cursed... my luck has been absolutely terrible since..."
Most of the thugs stood up. "We were once part of an important... organization... working for Mr. Spiro, until we were asked to... err... dispose of... Fowl. He set off some kinda gizmo that broke all of our teeth!" An old lady explained, stepping out from behind the thugs.
The rest of the thugs stood up, and one man spoke for them all, too. "We were chased out of our country because of him." He said flatly, glaring at Denise as if to dare her to ask more. She coughed and gestured at a group of nervous men wearing glasses.
"We're psychologists who worked for the school Fowl attends.. he tortured us with mind games and he ruined our reputations, and we can't get work anywhere now..." He shuddered. "Such a frightening boy..."
Nguyen nodded and shivered as well. Several more people introduced themselves: waiters, tailors, flight attendants and even a pizza boy, who insisted that it was Artemis's fault that he had been sent to the hospital after flirting with the girl who works for him. (Although, of course, Juliet decided to suplex him all on her own.)
Denise wasn't sure whether to be terrified or irritated. When she turned the conversation to how to avenge their grievances, it spiralled out of control. In the end she found herself napping on the counter. When she woke up she found the thugs laying out building plans of Fowl Manor.
"WHAT are you doing?!" She asked incredulously.
One of the psychologists smiled up at her. "We're going to egg his house!" He announced. The thugs nodded.
"..." Denise pinched herself to check that she wasn't dreaming. " Seriously?" They nodded. "... it's a fairly cheap way to get revenge. Yeah, okay." Denise decided.
Suddenly, a small person appeared on the table. "Seriously? So many of his enemies gather and THIS is the best they can come up with?" An angry black-haired girl glared around. She received nods.
Opal shook her head in disgust, before removing the memories of all present. "Such a stupid, pointless meeting."
"No kidding..." Denise mumbled. "Egging a billionaire vampire's house..."
End Note: Whether you loved it or hated it, thank you for reading it! If you've got a comment or correction, then please leave a review.