Hey, third fan fiction! Woo! Well, this one will be quite sad, from the point of view of Russia…remember, I don't update unless I get reviews! Thank you to my awesome beta syrekx!

"Mh…Russia…I didn't know you were so big…ah!" France cries, back arching. I smirk and just thrust harder and faster. Soon he comes, ending the night. It never lasts long, they always come, get what they want and leave, more afraid of me then ever. I sigh and cast a glance at the sleeping form of France, grabbing a bottle of vodka. As always I sit, drink, and daydream.

A field full of sunflowers, every one who ever left him is there. It's a party. They all smile at him, welcoming him to the party. Even his very first, who started all this go-and-leave was there…America waves and for a few seconds he feels the hate of when he left him alone after his first time, but it fades and he hugs him no hate here, just happy sunflowers and the sun. soon France joins, talking to England and Canada.

A slamming door wakes me up from my happy day dream. France has left and once again I'm left cold and alone. Its impossible to go back to the daydream after one has left. I didn't even get to see China. Maybe tomorrow I can get Italy back to my place…I'll have to fight Germany to do it…but anything is worth that daydream. Anything to feel the sun on my back, and see the smiles of those who dislike me. It has to be someone new. Always, other wise I don't get a daydream afterwards.

Italy is siting, eating pasta while Germany sits and watches with a scowl. I'll have to get past him. His protective eyes wander around, especially landing on France. Sometime two or three years ago he started to claim Italy, and rather Italy knows what that means for him or not Germany wouldn't budge.

"Russia! Uh…do you want some pasta?" Italy asks, looking to make sure that Germany was there in case he needed protection.

"No…no. I am fine, da?" I smile and sit down. The chair creaks, as every chair does for me. Some times I worry that I'm getting fat, but then I remind myself that unlike America I don't eat too much. I'm just big.

"Go away, he is eating." Germany growls, moving closer.

"Do not worry, I'm not asking him to become one with mother Russia…he'll join on his own…kollkolkollkol…" I giggle as the room gets cold. Italy shivers and starts to get up.

"No!" I slam my hand in his way. His eyes wide and fearful. Germany is ready to fight, standing strict. The room is now quiet, watching. Slowly I lower my hand and step back. Italy rushes out with Germany and the room returns to a murmur. No daydream for me tonight, I can hear the other country's talking about me, none of them knowing that I've slept with half of them. I lay my head down. Maybe, just maybe I can daydream…

Im freezing. No one is here to help me. There's a cliff above me. America laughs and laughs as try to climb up.

"You're going to be alone forever Russia! Get over it! Hahaha! Not even this hero wants to save you!" he kicks snow at me. And leaves me. More snow falls and I cant get out. I scream. No one hears me. I can't breathe. I'm dying I can feel it, this time I won't get out this is the end for-

"Hey, Russia. Wake up." I open my eyes. It's China. Of all people China, the only one who wasn't fully willing for my day dream has saved me from my death-dream.

"What were you doing with Italy? You weren't going to…Russia!" He gasps and steps back. "Why are you doing this? What reason do you need to have to do that to him? He's young and innocent Russia!"

"I need him…" I say, hiding in my scarf.

"For what?" He asks, pulling me out of the room.

"I need him! I need the smiles. And the sun…I need to have him! And Poland…and Prussia! Spain, Sealand, South Korea…I need them! I need all of them…a-and Hong Kong…Germany…all…o-of them…"

China stares, "don't even touch Hong Kong and South Korea…that's enough…stop trying to make them join you!" I shake my head, silver bouncing around.

"Not what I need. I need THEM." I turn, planning to hunt down Italy.

"Russia! Why can't you just need me?! I need you, but you just used me when I wasn't even sure bout how I felt about you…" I look back, had China just told me he liked me? Maybe this really was the daydream.

"I don't need you, I need a new country…it's hard to explain, just…I'm sorry." I turn and run, leaving him alone with his tears. Just like he left me alone in that room years ago…but. Maybe I should have stayed. Maybe I could love China and then still seen them all in my daydream. No…that's what it's all about.

The daydream. I have to have it. I need to. No matter who I have to go through to get it.

My special daydream…my only happiness in the cold world, and yet while I was with China there was some warmth…I shake my head. I have to. I turn around, running back to China. He's still on the ground, shoulders shaking. "Maybe I'm not enough…" he cries and sniffs.

I pick him up bridal style and carry him to my room. "I'm so sorry China…I just want warmth so bad, I want to see smiles, happy smiles.."

I kiss him, and he clings to my neck. I'm warm. Something feels hot inside my chest and it makes me giggly. I want more of this. I'm slowly slipping off his clothes when my door is kicked down.

"Russia! I want you back! I didn't mean to leave, I had to get ready for the meeting…take me back!" France yells, stopping with wide eyes. "You bastard."

Yay! So…let me know what you think, there will be twists and turns in this fic, and it'll have at least 3 chapters…should this be a smut? China France Russia threesome…yumi…ANYWAY. This will be a mpreg because how else to make a new country?! Well, not really. It will be like a state or what ever they call it…

I don't own hetalia {Italy: thank god}

R & R or I don't update!