I'm Still Waiting
Bella's POVIt had only been minutes since Edward had slipped the ring onto my finger in the meadow. I wish I could say that just by having the ring now on my finger somehow calmed my nerves. But I think all it did was make it worse. The cool metal felt so wrong against my skin. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Edward. I couldn't imagine my life without him. But there was something so wrong with words like marriage, husband, wedding. Just thinking about them was upsetting my stomach.
From a very young age my mother had done everything in her power (aside from making me sign some kind of legally binding contract-which I'm sure she will come to regret when she hears the news) to convince me that marriage is very difficult and not something to take lightly. And not only did she warn me about the perils of marriage she had in her own way convinced me that getting married young was in its own way…evil. She said it is stupid, dumb, idiotic… the list goes on and on. She said the only good thing to come from her marriage to Charlie was me. And knowing just how that one turned out, I am going to have to agree with her. I know that me and Edward are very different from her and Charlie. And I know that I love him more than my life itself and can't imagine one day without him in my life. But it scares me to think that once upon a time Renee had said the same things about Charlie and now they hardly speak to one another.
But despite what Renee had taught me about marriage, I knew that one day I would become Edwards wife. I had just imagined it much farther into the future. Preferably with me as a vampire already. I know that would be the only way I would be able to walk down the isle without tripping over my own two feet. If only Edward could see it that way. But that's how much I loved him. Us getting married would make him happy and I was willing to do anything to make him happy. I let out a heavy sigh and stared at the ring again. This was going to take some getting used to.
"Do you not like the ring?" Edward asked, finding me again staring at the foreign object now on my finger, where it would be for all eternity.
"No, I love the ring almost as much as I love you." I offered him a big smile. "It's amazing. I'm just wondering what Charlie is going to say. Or do. Probably both. Ugh." I groaned. Why didn't I accept Edwards's new offer in the meadow? Sex. Being turned. All before marriage. Just like I had wanted from the beginning. I am really beginning to regret my decision.
Edward chuckled. "We'll find out soon enough." I looked out the window, the drive was taking longer than I expected. I guess I've gotten used to Edward's terrifying way of driving. And now him abiding by the laws of the road and driving the speed limit seemed almost unnatural. Over the course of our relationship he had only slowed his speed down a handful times, all of which were done only after I had insisted heavily-almost begging. But this time I said nothing and fully expected him to be speeding home to share the good news with Charlie. But maybe he was as nervous as I was to tell Charlie of our engagement.
"What do you think he'll say?" I mused as Edward pulled into the driveway right behind Charlie's cruiser. I paused for a moment taking in several deep and calming breaths, I have a feeling that's going to be very useful in a few minutes. "I guess it's now or never." I sighed and opened the car door, taking one small step from the vehicle.
I smiled and looked back to Edward who had not moved. "Is Charlie really that terrifying?" I rolled my eyes with a laugh. "Come on, its not like he can hurt you." Edward still didn't respond or even move for that matter. "Edward, is something wrong? Did something happen?" I really hate always being left in the dark. Being a human living in the world of vampires with some very special talents was very unnerving. And even more unnerving was knowing just what Edward's blank expression meant. Whenever he or Alice had gotten that dazed and far off expression everyone around them knew that bad things were about to happen. "Edward." I breathed, crawling back into the car with him. "What's wrong?" My hands cradled his cold marble like skin.
My heart was racing full of worry. Was it about me? Or Charlie? Or Jacob? I worried less about the Cullen's. They were all pretty capable of taking care of themselves. But with that look on Edward's face, maybe I should worry about them too. We did have the threat of the Volturi hanging over our heads. Are they coming to check up on us? Were they close enough for him to pick up on their thoughts? Alice should have seen it first. She was watching out for them. At least that's what she had told me.
"Nothing." He shook his head softly. "Nothing is wrong, Bella. I am sorry I worried you."
"Edward. You don't have to lie to me."
He nodded slowly. "I'm not lying." He smiled his crooked smile to prove his point. "Nothing is wrong. I promise." He took my hand in his and gently kissed my knuckles.
"Then will you please explain to me what you did hear that made you have that panicked expression?"
Edward threw his head back and laughed. "I didn't think it was panicked. Maybe a bit pensive. But hardly panicked."
"Fine." I rolled my eyes. "What is the pensive look for?" Edwards smile fades and I can feel my heart begin to race again. I wish he would hurry up and turn me so I stopped worrying about everything so much. "Stop doing this to me." I groan. Hopefully when he changes me I get an awesome superpower and drive him insane with it.
"Bella, love. I'm not doing anything to you." He brushed a few stray hairs back behind my ear. "I'm sorry. You have no idea what it's like to be able to hear people's thoughts. It's constantly going on. I can't turn it off. I do my best to ignore it sometimes. But it never goes away. I have become accustomed to it but sometimes I get carried away and listen a little to intently when I hear something interesting."
"What did you hear?" I could still hear the panic in my voice. I would never be an actress. Not that I ever wanted to be one. "Is it the Volturi?"
"It's not the Volturi." Edward shakes his head. "It's Charlie."
"Charlie?" I draw my brow together in confusion. I had gotten to know Charlie very well over the years. I can't read his mind like Edward can but I was pretty sure I would be able to come close. There were very few things that would be on his mind right now. The first would be that he is hungry is impatiently waiting for me to get home and cook some dinner. Or maybe Edward is amused because Charlie tried to cook for himself. That never goes over well. The second would be all about the baseball game that I'm sure he is watching from his favorite spot on the couch. All I know is that there is nothing going on in Charlie's head that would make Edward look like that. Unless… "How could he know?" I shouted. "Who told him? Did Jacob do it? I bet he did. It's so like him. Always trying to get revenge on me for choosing you. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to skip punching him because that didn't work out so well last time, and just kill him."
"Bella, what are you talking about?" Edward interrupted my ranting.
"Jacob didn't tell Charlie?" I ask.
Edward shook his head. "Jacob didn't tell Charlie what? It's situations like these that really make me hate not being able to read your mind."
I glare at him. If only he knew what it was like to never know what was going on. "Jacob didn't tell Charlie that we were engaged." I explained for him.
"Why would Jacob do that?" Edward shook his head. "More importantly, how would Jacob tell Charlie?"
"What do you mean how? I know you don't think too highly of him and all but he is perfectly capable of using the telephone."
"No, Bella." Edward laughs. "How would Jacob be able to tell Charlie our good news if he doesn't even know our good news yet?" Jacob arched an eyebrow. He didn't need to read my mind to know the answer.
I cringed at the thought. "I may have already accidentally told him." I smiled and shrugged.
"And how did he take it?"
I could again tell that Edward didn't need to read my mind to know the answer. "Not so well." I frowned. That was an understatement. He took the news so badly that there was a good chance that no one would ever see Jacob again. At least not in human form. After I had told Jacob about the engagement he had phased and ran off. Sam, as well as the rest of the pack, was under the impression that Jacob wouldn't be back. He would prefer to live the life of a lone wolf completely forgetting about all of his human entanglements. I had never intended to break his heart. I never intended to hurt him at all. He was my best friend. And even if I don't see him again, he probably always will be. The thought that he could be gone for good, somewhat broke my heart. But I would never let Edward know that. I was very thankful for the fact that Edward couldn't read my thoughts. He had already seen me cry over Jacob a few times before. He didn't need to know how much it hurt to lose my best friend. Even if it is only a fraction of the pain I felt when Edward had left me.
"But let's get back on track." I urged. "What could Charlie possibly be thinking that has you so freaked out?"
"I'm not freaked out, Bella." Edward defends himself. He let out a heavy sigh. "Charlie is waiting for you."
"Well, then let's not keep him waiting." I lace my fingers in Edwards and give him a smile. "Plus, I'd really like to get this over with. Not that I'm not excited. Because I am. Yay!" I tried to prove my point with a cheesy grin and some small claps, but Edward didn't even laugh at my lame attempt. "I just don't think that Charlie is going to take the news of his eighteen year old daughter fresh of high school and getting married so well." I sigh. But I try to convince myself that it can't be any worse than how it went with Jacob. But I can't be sure of that. Charlie does own a gun. And Swan's do have a tendency to have quick tempers. I shift my weight and move to open the car door again but Edward still has a firm grip on my hand. "What now?"
"I think we should wait." He sighs.
"What?" I snap. I finally say yes to him, thinking he would be bursting at the seams to tell everyone and he wants to wait? I look to his beautiful face. "Please tell me what's wrong."
"I told you." He sighs. "Nothing is wrong. I just think that maybe now is not the best time to tell Charlie."
"Why?" I ask quietly, already beginning to fear the worst. I don't even know what the worst could be yet. But I'm sure I'll know it when we get there. "What is going on with Charlie?"
"I think it would be better if Charlie told you instead." Edward insisted.
"Fine then." I sigh, knowing that I will never be able to win in a fight against Edward. He has had a century's worth of practice. "We'll let Charlie tell us his news and then we'll tell him ours."
"Bella, love." He smiles. "I think it's best if we wait for a bit."
"Edward." I groan. "I don't want to wait. It's not like we have a lot of time to plan this wedding."
He smiled my favorite smile at that. "I'm not in a rush."
"Well, I am." I pout. "Why do you want to wait now?" I groan. Was he always going to be this uncooperative?
Edward laughs at my small tantrum. "Just for a few days. I think you'll agree with me on this, Bella."
"Fine." I concede. "I guess I should give this back to you then." I slip the ring from my finger and feel like a heavy weight is lifted from me.
"Keep it." Edward smiles. "It is yours after all."
"Edward." I begin to shout in complete exasperation. But all he does is laugh in response.
"Keep it in your pocket until the time is right." He gives me a crooked smile. "I'll see you tonight."
"Tonight?" I raise an eyebrow. "You're not coming in?"
"Even if I did, Charlie would just kick me out. It's just going to be the two of you for the night."
I glare at him. "Can't you just give me one little hint?"
"Sorry, Bella. I wouldn't want to ruin Charlie's surprise."
"Surprise?" I groan. That sounds even worse. "I hate surprises." I mumble exiting the car and slam the door behind me. And for Edward not being helpful I am going to do my best to be angry at him. Or at least mildly annoyed. But I'm sure that will all fly out the window when I find him waiting for me in my bed tonight.
I march up to the front door and pause for a second to take a deep breath to calm myself. I open the door and find Charlie waiting for me at the kitchen table. This is already not good. He never waits like this. Especially when there is baseball on. And there is always baseball on this time of year. "Hey, Bells." Charlie offers up a weak smile.
"Hey, Ch-Dad." I return his smile. "What do you want for dinner?" I ask, walking to the fridge doing the best to act like nothing is up. If I look him in the eye he will know that I am keeping a secret. And I know that he has a secret.
"Why don't you sit down, Bells." Charlie asks me somberly.
"You don't want dinner?" I peer over my shoulder to look at him.
"I think dinner can wait for a few minutes." He sighs and rubs his temples. "I have something I need to tell you."
"Oh." I sigh. "What is it?" I really am a horrible actress. That didn't even sound convincing to myself. And it should because I don't even know what he could be talking about. But Edward promised that nothing was wrong so I am trying my best to be optimistic.
"Sit down." He gestured to the chair across from him.
"Is something wrong?" I ask, settling into my seat.
"Uh." He stammers. "No. Nothing wrong."
I wait for a few moments and he still doesn't speak. He's acting like I would be right now if I were trying to tell him about my engagement. I draw a deep breath in, that is definitely not an option for Charlie. I don't even know when the last time he went on a date was. Maybe he should start. Maybe that would make this all easier. "Just spit it out dad." I offer him some encouragement.
"I just got some interesting news today."
"And that would be?" I keep the encouragement coming.
"Bells, I really don't know how to say this but… How much do you know about why you're mom left Forks with you?"
I sigh. If this has to do with his memories of mom, my telling him about the wedding is going to be so much more impossible. "She hated it here. It was rainy and she didn't get the whole small town appeal."
"Yeah. That was part of it." He sighed.
"Part?"
"Yeah. I guess that's really what started it all. You're mother always loved sunny weather. First Phoenix and now Florida. She should have known from the beginning that Forks just wasn't right for her. But she gave it a try anyway. She did her best. She tried for a long time but in the end she realized that she wasn't happy here."
"I already knew all that, Dad." I sigh.
"I know. I'm getting to the point, Bells." He runs his fingers through his hair, or what's left of it. It was starting to thin out quickly now. "You're mother started pushing me away before she ever left. And I didn't take it too well."
"What does that mean?"
"That means I had an affair."
Not at all what I was expecting to hear. Not even close to being in the same ballpark. "Why are you telling me this now? I mean, thanks for coming clean. But you're kind of off the hook. I don't think mom will care about that. And I can't hold it against you."
"I know." He nods and lets out a heavy sigh.
"So… should I start dinner now?" I start to stand but the look on his face pushes me right back into my seat. "Is there something else?"
"Yeah. That was just an introduction."
"Introduction to what?"
"I didn't know about this until this morning or else I would have told you much sooner. As soon as I would have known. You know that, Bells. I wouldn't keep a secret from you. Especially one this big."
He took a long pause and it was slowly driving me insane. "Dad, please. I really don't like the suspense."
"I know. But this is kind of difficult for me to say. So I'm just going to go ahead and say it. When you were still just a tiny little baby and I had that affair… I kind of… You… I have another daughter, Bells. You have a half sister."