Warnings: SLASH fanfic, featuring the couple of Jack/Ianto
Creative Notes: Takes place directly after Cyberwoman. Sequel to 'Promises'.
Copyright Notice: All copyright of Torchwood and the team belong to Russell T. Davies and the BBC. Written for non-profitable purposes.
If it were possible, Ianto felt even worse.
Jack was spooned beside him, quite inappropriately, and completely naked.
All the feelings flooding through his head and travelling to places he definitely didn't want to even acknowledge, had him reeling.
"Jack ..." Ianto moved a little. No response from the man lying beside him. Just a tightening of the arm around Ianto's waist.
Ianto turned around and faced Jack. They were nose to nose, and he felt something hard rubbing against his crotch. "Jack, are you awake?"
Jack didn't really sleep. Not in the way that other human beings did - he didn't need to sleep, being immortal. Sometimes he would drift into memories and fantasies which would be his version of dreaming, but he was always fully conscious of everything happening around him.
"I thought you were going to get some sleep, Ianto." Jack's voice rang through the stoney silence of the room. "Although the way you keep rubbing your best friend against me, I get the feeling you're wanting something else."
"Jack!" Ianto blushed and turned away. It was hard enough to admit, even to himself, his feelings for the man lying naked right next to him, but Jack was not one for tact. In fact, the more Jack spoke about those things, the more Ianto's body seemed to be responding.
Ashamed and bruised by Jack's knowledge of his most inner feelings, Ianto turned back to spooning. His body melded perfectly against Jack's as the arm tightened once again around his chest. Holding him. Securely. He tried not to think of the fact his bottom was against Jack's best friend, and instead focused on the silent tick, tock, tick of Jack's clock.
Finally, Ianto released the tension with a sigh of relief. He felt his whole body soften a little - probably due to the extreme exhaustion of the previous day's events. Jack merely held him securely. Bringing comfort and warmth, without one single word.
"Jack, you do know how difficult this is for me. To be held by you." Ianto finally blurted, his voice sounding strange after the intense silence.
"I know." Jack's voice had softened. "I want to know why. Why do you feel ashamed of how you feel?"
"Lisa. I'm betraying Lisa." Ianto was crushed, admitting his failure.
"You're not betraying anyone, stop being so dramatic. You had feelings for me before yesterday. Feelings are natural." Jack's voice was slightly impatient.
"But your a man, Jack. I've never felt like this about another man. It feels wrong." Ianto felt the tears threatening to spill, his voice quavering from a mixture of need and pain.
"Ah, so that's it, is it?" Jack said in a voice which implied he had known Ianto's concern's all along. "You've never been with a man before. I think I understand why your afraid."
"You do?"
"Sure. I can almost imagine the doubts going through your head right now; what if your not good enough, what if you disappoint me, what if you come too quickly ... all those fears. None of which has to do with your cover. Lisa."
Ianto tensed. "That's not true."
"Of course it is." Jack leaned close to Ianto's ear and whispered, "You want me, but your afraid the reality of the situation will disappoint us both."
Ianto shivered. Jack's breath was sending a shiver of sensation running down his whole body.
Whispering softly, almost inaudibly, "Do you think I would want you if I thought that would happen?"
"What are you saying, Jack?" Ianto whispered. His voice was drained, but the desire was prominent in the tone. His need. His desire. To be sated. To be filled.
"Whenever you're ready. That's all I'm saying." Jack moved away from Ianto's sensitive earlobe, and settled once more. His arm was still wrapped around Ianto's body. Still spooned together, they lay silently.
The minutes went by like hours. Ianto was wide awake, and it was only until his body, so exhausted by the previous day's horrors, finally gave in that he slept.
His sleep was anything but restful.
Dreams of Jack.
Sweat slicked dreams and orgasms that came in waves.
Kisses that reverberated throughout his whole body and came to rest in his manhood, defining who he was.
When he awoke he finally lay Lisa to rest, and realised that what Jack had said to him was true. Lisa had been a cover, for a long time now. His feelings for men had been kept somewhere private. He had believed he was straight ... until the moment he had laid eyes on Jack Harkness. That first moment helped spiral doubts about his sexual identity, plagued with the innuendo's that Jack had always thrown his way. As if he had always known Ianto was hiding his real soul ...
Ianto had loved Lisa, but that love finally became something of a chore, a burden. Confined to his role of carer, Ianto had pushed all sexual desire from his mind. Until he had become sexless. An empty shell.
Jack re-awakened that desire, pushing past all boundaries and issues, he had laid bare the truth.
Ianto blinked, and looked at the ceiling. His eyes wide.
"Oh my God, I'm gay."