A/N: SVU does not belong to me, nor do any of the characters. The story and the characters in this story which are non canon do belong to me. Thanks for all the support you have given me on my first A/O fic. I hope you enjoy this fic just as much, although it will be sad, and I have changed Olivia's life... a lot. This is an A/O fic, I hope you all enjoy it. Please review if you have the chance.

After a long weekend of sun, sea and sand my alarm clock was the last thing I wanted to hear. It buzzed so mockingly in my ear, I rolled over and hit it, knocking it off the bedside table. I heard the muffled bang as it hit the carpet, it's dying buzz still forcing it's way into my head. I looked over at the left side of the bed, it was empty. It hadn't been empty in almost six months. It was well and truly over between me and Bradley, although it still didn't feel real. I didn't want it to be over, I guess I had too much baggage for him to handle.

My room was silent, I couldn't hear anything other than the ticking of the second hand on my watch, and my heartbeat thudding in my ears. It was time to face the Special Victims music. No more lazing around the pool, no more walks along the beach hand in hand with the man I loved. Just me. Alone, again.

"Liv, we've got a case. Grab a coffee and I'll catch you up." Amaro said, fresh faced and eager.

I nodded, "I won't be a minute." Even if he could see the pain I was in, would I really talk to him? I don't think I would, but I was hoping for an 'Are you okay?'.

I made a coffee, even the smell of it was waking me up. I looked over at the new detectives and wondered what they really thought of me. They were both young, had experience else where and what was I? A dumped, lonely, ageing woman with nothing but a small apartment to show for my life's work. But I was living the dream job, I was helping people, that's all that mattered to me. I was getting justice for those who couldn't get it for themselves; but most of all, for all the justice I was getting for the victims, I was gaining some for my mom, the woman who didn't get any.

"This case is insane, in the last three days we've had six girls all name and shame the same man."

"So what's the problem?" I asked Nick.

"We can't find him. It turns out he has so many identities, he's wanted in eight states." Nick said.

He seemed so enthusiastic, excited even. This was his first big case, he reminded me of Elliot a little bit. The Elliot from years ago who had a taste for justice, who had that gut feeling and ran with it disregarding all the rules. I miss him, it's been three years since he left and lately I haven't even gotten an email from him, let alone a phone call. It seems he's forgotten me too. He had twelve years of my life and undivided attention and now I'm not even a thought in his mind. I loved him, I guess a part of me still does because if I didn't I wouldn't be getting wound up thinking about him.

Everyone was staring me, I realised then that I must have trailed off into my own world of forgotten sadness, Nick stared at me with those melting eyes; "Look at what states he's hit, where he went, if there was a pattern. If you know his name, know him. Know everything about him, his family, his childhood. Then look at where he hasn't hit, send photos to all PD's in states he hasn't hit and warn them he could be heading their way. The more people looking for him, the more likely he'll be seen."

Nick nodded, "Good thinking." he said, I'm not sure if he was meant to think it or actually say it out loud.

I went back to my desk and found a case under the name of Parks. I sifted through it and nothing popped out, the victim had been interviewed by Nick but I couldn't read his writing on the best of days; I made a call to Lillian Parks making sure she was in and able to talk to me. I was about to leave when I caught sight of blonde locks; the smell of summer and flowers hit me and I knew who it was.

"Alex Cabot." I said smiling.

"Olivia." Alex smiled back, her arms opening embracing me. "How've you been?"

"Good." I lied, "How're you?"

"I'm good, and I come baring good news!" she said happily, she may have been wearing summer, but there was a definite spring in her tone. I looked at her with no words, my eyes edging her to tell me. "I'm back!" she said. From that I knew she meant SVU, and right now she was the happy my sad so desperately needed.

I smiled and hugged her again, this time more congratulatory than welcoming; "It's good to have you back." I said honestly. She smiled at me, then stepped aside. "I'm going to see Lillian Parks, is Munch or Fin around?"

"They're working a case. Has Nick spoken to you about his case yet?" Cragen asked.

I nodded yes, "I've told them what I'd do, they're working on it now."

"Do you need a partner?" Alex asked, her eyes lighting up slightly.

I looked at Alex, then to the captain, then back at Alex; Cragen nodded, "Be careful, and Olivia, look after her!"

"I will." I said ready to leave his office, Alex walked with me out of the one – six, she got in the passenger seat of the Crown Vic, she turned in her seat and looked at me brows raised.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Spill it Olivia. The guys might not be able to see what's going on, but something's eating you up inside. I can see it in your eyes."

I always admired that about Alex, she could always tell when something was wrong, and didn't out me in front of the whole squad. "It's nothing." I lied. I was lying a lot today.

She managed to raised her eyebrows even higher, "Liv, this is me you're talking to."

I sighed deeply, "Can we at least get away from here first?" I asked wanting to cry right there and then.

She nodded, I drove a few blocks and parked up. She turned in her seat again to look at me; I still had both my hands on the wheel and couldn't bring myself to look at her. I felt the warm, soft touch on my hand. I looked at her, those sympathetic eyes and crumbled. I couldn't help myself, I told all. "He dumped me..." I blabbed. I know I hadn't told her who had dumped me but she listened anyway. "We've been together for eighteen months, and it's just... it's over." I felt Alex pull me in closer, she was warm and I could feel the sympathy pour from her, she held my head against her chest and stroked my hair before resting her chin on the top of my head. I sniffed and tried to catch my breath between tears, but every time I managed to calm down, another memory hit me like a wave causing me to cry all over again. Alex didn't let go of me, I could hear her soft whispers as she told me everything would be okay soon.

"I just don't know what to do," I sobbed, "I woke up this morning and my bed was empty, I'm so used to seeing him there, feeling his arms wrap around me. I miss him so much." I could barely control myself by this point, and Alex being the kind hearted person she is, somehow managed to hold me tighter, folding me into her platonic love.

"He doesn't deserve you Liv, no man deserves your tears."

"How do I stop loving him?" I asked sitting up pulling out of her embrace.

"Find someone who loves you with everything they are, who can love you as much as you love them and who never gives you a reason to cry."

I sniffed feeling silly, she was so wise and here I was blabbing like a child. "Thanks Alex." I said still trying to find my 'normal' voice amongst the tears and the lump in my throat.

"You don't have to thank me, this is what friends are for." she smiled her beautiful white smile at me, then a look of confusion hit her.

"What is it?" I asked softly now feeling more composed.

"Where's Elliot? You didn't ask for him to help with the case..." her voice trailed off, she'd met the new detectives, but that's when I realised, Cragen hadn't told her why there were two new people in the one – six.

"Elliot's gone." I managed feeling that lump rising again. "He shot a girl, three years ago. He's not been back since."

"Jesus!" Alex said to herself connecting all the dots. "That's why Amaro and Rollins are there." she paused for a minute, she must have seen the tears threatening my eyes again then broke the tension, "I bet his ego is huge knowing it took two detectives to replace him."

I smiled at her, she gave me a small smile in return. "Don't we have a victim to talk to?" she asked. Somehow amongst all the tears and sadness I'd forgotten all about Lillian Parks.

"Damn it!" I said turning the key in the ignition and pulling away from the curb.

"So fill me in." Alex said referring to the case.

I took in a deep breath, "There's not a lot to tell, she's a woman in her late fifties; she says she was raped. That's all I got from the report, but to be honest, I couldn't read Amaro's handwriting. Chances are, he gave me this case for one of two reasons, it wasn't exciting enough for him, or he's not got the empathy needed for it."

"That's a little harsh Liv." Alex was right, but I wasn't being harsh at all.

"He said it himself, he doesn't have much empathy, sometimes he gives me the cases he can't handle. He's still got a lot to learn, but right now I'm okay with that."

"You missing Elliot?"

That shocked me, I pulled up outside Lillian Parks' home and just sat there looking for the right words. "I miss him as a partner. After twelve years, who can blame me?"

"That's the only way you miss him?" she pried.

I sat up in the seat and looked her directly in the eyes, "I did miss his friendship and his company, but over the last few weeks I've not heard from him at all. I guessed he got busy, or life got in the way."

"You need to stop being angry Liv, he's not forgotten you. Stop worrying." Alex smiled reassuringly as she spoke, I knew she was right. He probably hadn't forgotten me, he's most likely got his head stuck in a cloud somewhere and not had time to call, but even if he had forgotten me, Alex was the friend I needed right now...