AUTHORS' NOTE:

Wassup people of the internet. Are we keeping with the times?

OKAY SO what you need to know is that this story has TWO AUTHORS! We know what you're thinking. "WOW, TWO?!"

Yes. So much yes. I am Hedgehog, and I will write in bold. Penguin will write in italics.

(Aren't we so cool? We have pseudonyms! We're practically spies.)

I will always write James, and she will always write Lily. We'll try to update once a week. Hope you enjoy! :))))))

WELCOME PEOPLE OF THE EARTH! We're delighted to make our fanfiction writing debut with 'Smooth Moves, Potter'. Enjoy! Also, don't forget to review! It makes us incredibly happy! ;)

{we own nothing, unfortunately}

except our Webkinz

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ON WITH THE SHOW!

Lily

His hands grasp my waist tighter, I kiss him harder. He grabs my hips and I tighten my legs around his hips. I reach for his black hair as he bites my lower lip.

Fuck. What has my life become.

I awake from my deep slumber breathing hard with beads of sweat on my forehead. James Potter. His name and face spontaneously pop into my head, and… butterflies. What are they doing here? It's been happening to me frequently for quite a while God. It can only mean I'm… I'm... I'm in love with James Potter. Or at least I'm attracted to him. After years of being patronized to be James Potter's girlfriend, I actually want to?

The thing, is he's changed. He was a surprising choice for Head Boy. However, he has handled the situation very well. Believe it or not, he's a natural born leader. I would not have guessed that two years ago. James is sincere and ALWAYS entertaining to be around. And he's not bad-looking either! Half of the school has been lusting after him since God knows when, and you can't exactly blame them. James has messy black hair, hazel eyes, and let's just say Quidditch does the body good.

I walk out of my dorm and into the Heads' common room. My appearance is all disheveled, my hair a bird's nest and the lights that illuminate the room are too bright. I'm going as quickly as possible. I hear him before I see him.

"Alright, Evans?" and there he was. All I can do is run. Run through the corridors, until I finally arrive at the Gryffindor Dormitory.

I wake my former roommates, Mary MacDonald, Marlene McKinnon, and Alice Prewett.

"I have something to tell you guys."

"What is it?" Alice responds, concerned.

"I'm in love with James. And I need your help."

"Wait, James POTTER?!" Mary exclaims, perplexed. I nod.

"How do you suppose we could help you with that?"' Marlene says, irritated at the fact that she was woken up in the middle of the night.

"I need you to help me win him over."

"He already is in love with you, Lily! For Merlin's sake, he has been since like third year." Marlene states.

"But of course we will help you," Alice says in a genuine manner, glaring at Marlene.

"Oh puh-lease! When he asked me out every day, he was in fifth year. A 15-year-old doesn't truly feel real love, at least not romantically."

"HE ASKED YOU OUT. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. That takes guts."

"Yes, it takes guts, but it doesn't take love." I argue.

"What do you need our help with?" Alice asks.

"I have a plan. Well, at least the beginning of a plan. Because guys are perverts, they can't help but be attracted to girls that dress promiscuously. So if I dress more revealingly, I can drown him in his automatic attraction to women. He is a guy after all." I begin.

"Um, we wear school uniforms. How 'promiscuous' can you make that?" Marlene asks.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?" Mary asks in return.

"Humph." Marlene scowls.

It was going to be a very long night.

James

I know this is going to sound absurd, but I think Lily is avoiding me.

Okay, fine, if you know me, and you know Lily Evans, it won't sound that weird.

But really. I thought we were finally becoming friends, and now she runs away whenever I see her in the halls.

…

That might be a slight exaggeration.

If you don't know me or Lily Evans, you may be a bit confused. Here's the deal. In third year, I developed a fancy for Lily Evans. And I did what I thought blokes were supposed to do. Ask her out. Not just once, mind you. Every. Single. Day. It all led up to when at the end of fifth year, I drove her away from her best friend. Sixth year, I didn't dare ask her out. Not. Once. We probably spoke a total of twice. Over sixth year, though, I made an important discovery.

Girls don't like it when you can't comprehend the word no.

Also, if a girl doesn't like you back, she's not obligated to. You're lucky if she does.

I like to think that these observations have deflated my head a bit, but I am right now bragging about my deflated head, so uh. Maybe not.

I also have my three best friends, who I should probably introduce you to.

First comes Sirius Black, better known to us Marauders as Padfoot. He has long, jet black hair, and I strongly advise you: DO NOT TOUCH IT. NO MATTER HOW TEMPTING IT IS, DO. NOT. He will probably attempt to murder you if you touch it. And let me tell you- do not challenge Sirius Black. Why? He would most likely succeed.

…

It's quite soft.

Next up, Remus Lupin. We call him Moony because… I'll explain later. He has sandy blonde hair and blue eyes. His hair is not as soft as Sirius's, and he's right now glaring at me from across the room.

Finally, Peter. He's the shortest one of us. We like him. He's very agreeable.

So, I'm going to trust you lot with this information, and if you tell, I will stab your through with my fucking basically, Moony is a werewolf. I know, I know! What a plot twist. Thing is, he's such a good guy, and we like him, you know, most of the time, so Sirius, Peter, and I became animagi to help him get through his furry little problem. Sirius is a dog, hence Padfoot. Peter is a rat, which makes him Wormtail. And I'm Prongs, the valiant stag!

So. Valiant.

What was I talking about before all that friend stuff? Oh yeah.

Lily Evans.

She's absolutely gorgeous, do not let her try to tell you any different. She's not the slimmest, no, but she has curves. Oh, Merlin, her curves. Sorry. I really sound like a pervert. I'm just… desperate, okay?

She has beautiful, long red hair that always seems to fall just right, and emerald eyes. I may have seen those eyes many a time, even when Lily was furious with me, but my stomach does a backflip every time. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

And as you read the paragraph above, I can tell you're coming to a conclusion.

"This James Potter bloke is hopeless."

You're not wrong.

But sometimes, hopelessness can be helpful. Why, you ask? Well, it was the middle of a dark and stormy night.

Just kidding. It was 2:00 in the morning. Who knows what the weather was?!

I was up trying to finish my Charms essay because it was due that day, at I heard a door creak shut.

As the Hogwarts Head Boy, I have the privilege of being able to live in the same dorm as Lily Evans. Yup. We have our own common room. All to ourselves.

So that's how I knew that door creaking shut was Evans, which is why I decided to care.

As Miss Evans rushed by the couch with me on it, I turned around and saw- Lily Evans.

I'm insane.

But this wasn't just everyday, normal Lily Evans. This was middle of the night Lily Evans. Which is so. Much. Better.

Her hair was a mess. Her eyes were squinting from the harsh light of the room. Her pajama shorts were riding up a bit.

SORRY, sorry, it's just I like to take advantage of all of Lily I'll ever see.

As she sped by, I said, "Alright, Evans?"

She looked at me, and paused for a second, her green eyes finally widening, and- she started sprinting. Smooth moves, Potter.

James, you fucking idiot.

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