Disclaimer: ...
A/N: Rated T for language and violence. Bittersweet Gon x Killua. Slight fluff, full of angst and distress- but somewhat happy ending, I guess. Beginning can be a little heart-wrenching, but I will never end a HxH fanfiction without GonKilu.. so! Hope you all enjoy. Sorry in advance for rushed ending.
Appreciating feedback, but it's completely your choice.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Under the solemn moonlight, white snow descended from the night sky similar to the falling feathers from an angel casted out of Heaven. "Gon!" I yelped with eyes stripped of hope. Unable to move with several needles penetrating into my skin, I watched despairingly as a pale hand slipped into my best-friend's abdomen. "Gon! Gon! Gon!" I continued to bellow, feeling beads of tears forming at the corner of my eyes. My stomach churned with distasteful emotions as my black-haired best-friend collapsed into the forest's snow-blanketed ground. Scarlet red blood poured out of his stomach, spreading along the ice crystals like a field of crimson spider lilies.
"Stop! Stop it, Illumi! He's going to fucking die!" I forced my limbs to move, but it was useless; all my movements were restricted by my brother's aura-imbued golden needles. I simply gazed with a face of agony. My entire body was glued to the ground, only my head freed from Illumi's control. Was it perhaps he wanted to see what kind of expressions I would convey? Did he seek my suffering? Or was it merely because he desired to eradicate every emotion contained within me so I could become the apathetic assassin he wanted? I had no answer to any of those questions.
Gon released a series of coughs, expelling blood with every wheeze. A painful smile appeared over his face, as if he wanted to tell me 'Killua, everything is going to be all right.' You damned idiot. You damned, damned idiot! Why were you always like this? Stop viewing everything from a positive perspective! Be realistic! There was no ray of hope in our situation!
"How about we strike a deal, Kil?" Illumi articulated, adjusting his head to face me. I winced upon hearing his expressionless voice. "I'll let him live if you return home."
I clenched my teeth together. "…. I-"
"You should hurry and reach a conclusion. He may die from a blood loss." He menacingly twirled a needle around his long slender fingers.
Truth being said, I knew… I knew that this moment was inevitable, and that the time I spent with Gon was limited and bittersweet. It was impossible to escape from the Zoldyck's extensive reach. But nonetheless, I wanted to stay with Gon forever. There were still so, so many adventures planned ahead of us. We always spent many nights fighting amongst each other to decide where to go next. But in the end, all that did not matter… because well, that raven-haired Hunter was the most important person in my life, and I am not willing to endanger his life due to my selfish desire to remain with him. "…I accept." I spoke, tasting a mixture of regret and sorrow in the words.
"That's good to hear."His hypnotic black iris bore into my pupils. "I'll let mother know." In an instant, he slipped out of existence, vanishing noiselessly like a ghost as though he had never been there in the first place.
I regained control over my arms and legs, and with great haste, I tore the needles out of my flesh and raced towards the direction of my fallen counterpart. As I approached Gon's bloody body, a heart-wrenching pain imploded within my chest. "Gon! You're alive, are you? Answer me!" Kneeling into a pool of blood-tainted snow, I subconsciously brought my hands to feel the warmth of his cheeks.
The sides of his faces still radiated the same tender heat that it always had. Thank God.
"..Killua." Gon's usual energetic voice was weakened into a soft, barely audible whisper. Slowly, inch by inch, he planted his energy-deprived hand onto mine.
"I'm here." I held his hands, and locked it within a quivering grip. "I'm here, Gon," I repeated myself to reassure him I'm physically and mentally with him.
"You won't leave me, will you?" He strained every word out. Droplets of sweat formed on his forehead, travelling down the side of his face only to disappear into the snow. I tried to answer his question with silence, but he asked it again: "Killua, we'll stay together, right?"
I bit into my lips with force, causing the coppery flavour of blood to emerge. "We will. Now and forever." The metallic flavour lingered in my mouth as a speck of blood dripped down from the edge of bottom lip. I'm sorry, Gon. I'm sorry. One thing that I had always dreaded was lying to you. Nothing dealt more pain to me than seeing your hazelnut eyes reflecting a sense of sadness. You were the only one who possessed the ability to drive me into a peak of happiness – or into an abyss of despair.
"Really?" Doubt. There was doubt underlying his voice.
"..Yeah," I released my clutch to retreat my hands. Gently drawing Gon's torso up from the icy ground, I positioned my back towards him. "There's a town nearby, just across the forest."
"I'll bring you there," I added.
He nodded in response and wrapped his arms around my neck.
"There should be a clinic," I brought myself up from the cool floor, carrying the weakened boy on my back. While my hands held his bottom, by the approximate area of Gon's wound, I felt his blood moistening my shirt. "Does it hurt?"
"Mmhmm," He tightened his embrace. "But it's not that bad." The Hunter's breath caressed my neck with a gentle touch with every exhalation.
Under the moon's watch, I moved along on foot, the sound of crunching snow persistently following every step. Blood trickled onto the pale floor and left behind a series of red spots, as if reminding me that the Grim Reaper was on my trial. There was no way, however, that I'm letting the Angel of Death's scythe reach my best-friend. Or even get close to him.
"Hey, Killua." Although his tone was still frail, it was stronger than it was earlier. If Gon were not an Enhancer, that wound would've been fatal, even if Illumi avoided damaging his major organs.
"What's up?" I continued to travel through the field of cone and needle-bearing trees.
"I hate it."
"What?" I inquired, confused by what he had said.
"When you lie."
The comment drove into my heart with such force my pace faltered. I should've known, shouldn't I? After travelling with you all these years and being your 'one-and-only-beloved-Killua,' I couldn't expect a lie to just bypass through you. Despite your seemingly oblivious personality, you could read me like a child's picture book.
"I also hate it when you eat so much chocolate," Gon spoke, his voice trembling.
"I know."
"I h-hate it when you steal my snacks," he incoherently grieved. My blues eyes lay fixed ahead; though I couldn't see him, the fact that I knew he was quietly weeping on my back…pained me. His bitter tears were poison to me. A poison that I was not immune to. A poison that had the ability to corrode away my heart.
"B-but above all, Killua, I hated not being with you!"
"I'm sorry, Gon." I was struck by a pang of woe, barely able to prevent myself bursting into tears.
"It hurts, Killua. It hurts more than anything," he sobbed in my shoulder, "Waking up in the morning and not seeing you. It really, really hurts."
I wanted to say much more, but I couldn't. All I said was a simple: "I'm sorry."
"I don't care if your family comes after me! I want to stay with yo—"
"Gon!" I exclaimed aloud, wanting to bash reason into his thick-skull. "You're going to die! Think about those around you! Think about Mito-san!"
"Mito-san will be angrier at me if I betrayed you!" Gon yelled back, a cough following his statement.
"Listen!"
"No!" protested my stubborn best-friend.
"Gon!"
"You don't get it! Why is it that you want to leave me? Is it because you're fed up with me, and that you don't need me anymore?"
"Of course not!" That idiot! How can he think that way?! Can he not see that I'm trying to protect him?! So that he can enjoy the rest of his lif—
"I'd rather die!" He interrupted my thoughts, "Even thinking about being separated with you hurts so much! I won't be able to bear it alone, Killua!"
A void of silence hung in the cool night air between us.
"I'll practice Nen every-day," I articulated with words of resolution, "And I'll kill Illumi."
Gon didn't speak, but I felt him nodding.
"So let's run away together." I boldly added, "Far away from them."
"Together?" inquired Gon, a hint of happiness in his question.
"Together."