A/N : HEY, Okay, so readers....just so you know...This is a collaborations from the two authors... Silly Soul and TRUsong .... we were bored, and this collection is composed of stupid, funny stuff with a twist of love. Hope you review and check out our profiles to see our other stories. Enjoy.

CAUTION: really stupid and funny. But mainly the stupidity. xD

Just Get Out

"Omigosh," I say to my boyfriend. "My boss is such a…a…cowface!"

He places a hand on his chest and says in a sarcastic expression. "Yes. I can so feel your pain."

"She's just…she's…she's a goddamn bitch!...You know?!"

He smirks and wraps his arms around my waist. "Do you want me to make you feel better?" He whispers seductively in my ear. We kiss passionately, his hands snake under the hem of my blouse as we fall onto the bed.

OOF!

"What the hell was that?" I ask. I start to pull away but he tightens his arms around me.

"Uhm, it was our cat?" He blurts.

"We don't have a cat."

"Our goldfish?"

"Why would a fish go oof?" I scoff.

"Our dog?"

I feel my eyes water and mumble, "You killed our dog, remember? Oh, Olga! I miss you!"

He makes it completely obvious that something is up when his eyes flick nervously from my face to the side.

"Okay, just tell me- what's under the bed? Do you have like, some other woman hidden under there?" I joke.

"Pssh, fssh,…wh-…psh…nothing. No. Pssh. What are you talking about?"

A girl suddenly emerges from under the bed. "Baby, I can't lie under there anymore. It's so freaking stuffy! It's not good for my complexion- I'll look like a prune!" I look her up and down thoroughly and a single word forms in my head- slut.

All she's wearing is practically a see through cami, and Victoria's Secret underwear. Her lipstick is smudged and her eyes are somewhat puffy. "Who the fuck is this?!" I jump off my so-called boyfriend and look at the two.

I don't even give Evan a chance to speak and turn to the little bitch. "You. Get the fuck outta my house!"

A weird sound escapes her throat as she firmly nods her head. Her eyes meet Evan's before she runs out of the bedroom.

I hear him sigh, "Look, Abigail…"

I spin on him and smack the palm of my hand across his face. "That was for cheating on me!" I backhand his face again. "That was for not telling me."

He looks me in the eye and I slap him again. "What was that one for?!" He yells.

"That was for fun!" I feel the waterworks coming. "You lied to me," I whisper.

"Well actually, I just didn't tell you." He said like it was a matter-of-factly.

The door squeaks open and we both look over to the doorway to find that stupid, motherfuckin' bitch standing there.

"Uhm, yeah, sorry to interrupt but, I forgot…" She started to pull the shoulder part of her cami. I give her one of those What-the-hell-are-you-talking-about looks, and she waves her hand in front of her chest.

Oh. Hell. No.

"Get. Out. NOW!" I yell. She scrambles out like the little whimp she is and I hear the front door open and shut.

Evan is staring after her and that's when I screech, "You lied! LIED! Get the hell out of here- go rent a freaking room!"

Before I can slap him again, he rushes out of the room and slams the door. I run after him, yelling more obscene remarks and pound on the door. Tears stream down my face and I fall to the floor screaming.

Minutes later, I open the door and look from side to side to check if the coast is clear. I smirk, what a freaking loser.

"George, you can come out now!" I squeal.