Kate Howard strolled through the front door of Jake's bar. Normally, she would never set in a place like this but she needed by herself to sulk and think and this seemed like the perfect place to do so. She couldn't quite put her feeling on what was bothering Sonny. Yesterday, they were great, but today, he seemed withdrawn and told her that he needed to be alone for awhile.
"Can I help you?" Coleman asks while Kate takes a seat at the bar.
"She'll take tequila and lots of it." Kate rolled her eyes. She knew the annoying woman's voice without even having to look up.
"Don't order for me Carly. I am more than capable of ordering my own drink." Carly Jacks sat down next to Kate, ordering Coleman to pour her another shot in the process.
"Trust me you are going to want tequila. It's the only drink that will help you forget her." Carly said the last part like it was poison.
"What are you talking about? Who's her?"
Carly dismissed her question. "Let me guess, Sonny has been moody all day and is probably standing on the docks right now, staring out into nothing particular. Oh, and he probably took the Jaguar out for a drive. You know the British Green one that he never touches except for today. The car that no one else is ever allowed in. Am I right so far?"
Kate sat wide eyed at Carly's correct analysis. She grabbed her shot glass. "How the hell do you know that?"
"Cause it's the first day of spring which means that it's her birthday."
"Who is her?"
Carly rolled her eyes. "The perfect and unmatched Brenda Barrett of course. Don't tell me that you didn't know? This is what Sonny does every year. I use to try to understand when everyone thought she was dead, but the bitch is very much alive and well and he still does it."
Kate rolled her eyes. "Carly, you are not going to make me jealousy by talking about one of Sonny's exes."
"Oh but that's where you are wrong, Brenda is not a ex, she's the ex. The one woman that has always and will always be Sonny's true love. It doesn't matter if he marries you and you have his kids, you will never compare to Brenda. Many have tried and failed."
"Sonny and I have history." To Kate's annoyance, Carly started laughing.
"Yeah and I was his wife, multiple times over, doesn't mean that he still doesn't pine for her."
"Then why aren't they together?"
Carly downed another shot before laughing again. "Are you serious? No one can touch his precious Brenda. He is willing to put me, you, hell even our kids in the line of fire, but not Brenda. Never Brenda. He left her to protect her. He wanted to make sure that nothing ever happened to her, so he let her go. But trust and believe he never wanted to."
"Why are you telling me all of this? Why should I even care?"
"Just letting you know what is going to happen every year for as long as you two are together."
"Weren't her and Jax together too?"
"Yup and he's thinking about her too. It's just not as bad as Sonny. Sonny will always kick himself for not being able to give up his lifestyle for her."
"I don't believe you." Carly simply shrugged.
"You don't have to, but you need to. No one will ever take the role of Brenda. Yeah, he will love you and be true to you, but if that little bitch ever walks through the door and says she wants Sonny back, you are gone. Remember that."
Two hours later and Carly and Kate sat in silence, each drinking and thinking. Finally, Kate spoke up.
"He loved her that much."
"Loves. But yeah, he does. He was even willing to give up the mob, something he would never do for me."
"How did you deal with it?" Carly simply shrugged.
"One thing about Sonny is once he is in your system, it is almost impossible to get rid of him. Lord knows, I have spent many years trying. So you end up over looking certain things. But there are some things that Sonny will never share with you.
He will never take you to Puerto Rico, he won't take you skiing, he doesn't even like to be standing on the docks with you for too long, cause that's where he first met her. The littlest things will trigger a Brenda memory and you have to fight hard to make those memories disappear."
Carly downed her last shot before grabbing her purse. "Oh, one last thing. Don't even attempt to replace her, it's a lost cause."
Many hours later, Kate sat on the steps in the dark waiting for Sonny to return. She heard the sound of a car and looked at the window to see the Jaguar pull up in the driveway. After many moments, Sonny finally got out the car.
Opening the door, Sonny went in the living room and turned on a CD. "Crazy Love" started playing softly in the background as Kate saw Sonny reach for a picture in his jacket pocket.
She softly watched him place his hand over the picture, seemingly entranced by whatever image was on there.
"Sonny?" Sonny jumped and looked at Kate, blinking a few times as if to remember who she was.
Sonny cleared his throat. "Yeah?"
"Is everything ok?" Kate moved closer and Sonny abruptly turned the radio off.
"Yeah everything is fine." Sonny responded, still trying to keep some distance between the two of them.
"You know I was thinking, after everything that has been going on, we should take a vacation. I was thinking we could go to Puerto Rico." Kate was shocked to see a flash of anger and hurt flash through Sonny's eyes.
"No." He stated it in a way that Kate knew there was no negotiation. It also confirmed everything that Carly said. "We'll talk in the morning, why don't you go to bed?"
Kate simply and nodded and headed up the steps, stopping before she reached the top. She heard Sonny dialing someone's number. After a few seconds she heard his voice.
"Happy Birthday baby. I love you." He spoke with so much love that Kate couldn't stop the tears that came to her eyes. She would always be second. Carly was right, no one was ever going to replace the woman that was Brenda Barrett.