Pete and Claudia tiptoed up the B&B stairs. Of late they'd become the Warehouse matchmakers and advisors, which had made them insufferably pleased with themselves.
Tonight their victim was Helena Wells, in relation to Myka Bering. And while their advice had taken several days to implement, today was the grand finale.
Nothing could possibly go wrong.
The door was ajar. Success. Pete and Claudia edged it slightly more open and stood back to watch.
Helena was perched on Myka's bed.
"I've never precisely done anything romantic," she said, hands wrapped in the fabric of her pajama bottoms. "Especially not the literature. Melodramatic sop, all of it. But, er, the relationships especially not."
"I know, Helena." Myka clasped her pillow to her chest, wet hair dripping down her face. "We don't have to go over this again."
"Well, you see, I've been researching. Pete and Claudia helped me."
"Oh no."
Pete stuck his tongue out.
"So you don't want to hear?" Helena gave a face like a drenched kitten.
"I— Fine, fine, Helena. I'd love to hear." Myka gave a sigh and a smile.
There had been a thorough conference about this moment. It was a momentous occasion, after all. But finally, they had decided.
They had found the perfect Disney song for H.G. and Myka.
It had taken a long time to get to that point, of course. It had started with H.G. sulking on the couch, not even touching her cookies. Pete and Claudia had come bringing ice cream.
"Is this about Myka?" asked Claudia, handing Pete the chocolate syrup.
"Nonsense. Why would it be about Myka?" Helena curled up with her ice cream.
"Well, because you two are kinda really really gay," said Pete.
"Really gay," agreed Claudia, "And that's coming from gay central herself."
"Just because we're both gay doesn't mean we're gay together."
"You could be," pointed out Claudia.
"That's ridiculous. Myka has much better judgment than that."
"Come on, H.G. I know you went kinda evil and tried to kill us all once, but we're your friends now. You can tell us."
"Yeah," said Claudia, mouth full of ice cream, "I mean, I told you all about-"
"You didn't tell me!"
"Tell you what?"
Helena sighed deeply. "I have notoriously bad judgment when it comes to affairs anyway."
Pete and Claudia exchanged a glance. "Who you think you're kidding?" they sung in unison. "She's the Earth and heaven to you! Try to keep it hidden; honey we can see right through you! Girl, you can't conceal it, we know how you feel and who you're thinking of..."
"What are you doing?" Helena's face was pure bafflement.
"Singing about your undying love for Myka," Claudia said.
"I do not love Myka!"
"You keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling! Baby we're not buying, hun we saw you hit the ceiling!"
"You can't even sing in harmony."
"Face it like a grown-up! When you gonna own up that you've got, got, got it bad..."
"I will not say I'm in love!"
Clauda grinned. "Girl, don't be proud, it's OK you're in love..."
"I am not in love." Helena grabbed the blanket, curled up with her ice cream, and pouted.
"Look, H.G.," said Pete, "I've exhausted my singing Muse routine. I mean, I could go into the teapot thing but I don't think you'd appreciate being called a beast."
"I could be melodramatic and say I was one..." Helena buried her head as far under the blanket as she could and still eat ice cream. "My feelings for Myka, nonexistent as they are, are not the problem."
"You kinda didn't destroy the world because you couldn't kill her," Claudia pointed out.
"And gave her your super-cool grappler."
"You called her the person you know most."
"Well what am I bloody well supposed to do about it?"
Pete and Claudia once again exchanged glances.
"Well," said Pete, "If the Muses worked..."
Over the next week, they marathoned Disney. In the end, it was down to four songs. Pete was against "Love Is An Open Door" ("he's evil!"), "Part Of Your World" was deemed too short, and the perfect song was selected.
Helena took a deep breath. "I can show you the world," she sang softly. Leena had handled the voice training, saying she couldn't stand to hear Pete and Claudia in pain. "Shining, shimmering, splendid..."
"Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?" Myka's voice wavered, and she smiled.
"I can open your eyes..."
"Take you wonder by wonder..."
"Over, sideways, and under, on a magic carpet ride..."
Pete nudged Claudia.
"I can see what's happening..."
"And they don't have a clue!"
"They'll fall in love, and here's the bottom line..."
"Our trio's down to two."
A passing Jinks turned his head. "What trio?"
"Shh!"
"Unbelievable sights, indescribable feeling!" Helena and Myka were giggling as they sang together. "Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling through an endless diamond sky..."
"You guys were never a trio."
"Is this a regular congregation spot for you or..." asked Artie, on the steps.
Claudia raised her eyebrows. "Shh."
"The sweet caress of twilight," continued Pete, "there's magic everywhere!"
"And with all this romantic atmosphere..."
"Disaster's in the air," Jinks and Artie chorused along with them.
"I'm like a shooting star, I've come so far, what are you guys DOING?"
Myka strode to the door, threw a pillow at Pete, and slammed it.
"Show's over," Artie said, "Go to bed!"
A moment later, the muffled sound of singing coming from Myka's room, Pete and Claudia turned to each other.
"And if they fall in love tonight..."
"It can be assumed..."
"Their carefree days with us are history..."
"In short our pals are doomed..."
They grinned and went to bed.
"A whole new world." Myka grabbed Helena's hand. "That's where we'll be." They drew closer. "A thrilling place, a wondrous place... for you and me..."
They kissed.
It is another story that, oblivious, Pete and Claudia sang "Kiss The Girl" at breakfast for days afterwards.