A/N:

Claw: Hello. Well, I wrote this story all by myself, without Blondie's help. Hehe. I have never really written angst, so please review and tell me what you think. Flames are fine with me. I wrote this, because I was thinking about April and I decided that I don't like her, because someone who gives their boyfriend AIDS and then leaves him seems like the kind of people I don't like. (I think suicide is really really dumb.) Anyway, I thought about how Roger would feel and this is what I came up with.

April did about as much bad to me as Mimi did good. I honestly thought she was the one for me. I truly thought that I was in love. But, as you know, thoughts can be deceiving.

I thought I was finding passion, however I was just setting the stage of my life. Setting the stage of disaster.

I met April when I was high. Not a chemical induced high, but the kind of high that you get when everything is going just as planed. I was high off life.

I never fell in love with her, I think it was love of the powder, not the girl.

When I think back now, I realized that April was exactly what Mimi was not, a coward. When our lives were put at stake, she knew she couldn't live with this, even if the results of her "saving herself" hurt me more then they hurt her. When she cut her wrists did she even think about me?

Mimi stays strong, she lives to the fullest no mater what. Mimi is a lot braver then the both of us. She knows she has to face the hard cold facts and deal with the unfairness of life.

April didn't only infect me with disease, she also infected me with fear. She taught me to run, escape, leave, when life gets hard. It's what I did when Mimi was close to death.

April had lured me in the game with drugs, artificial happiness, her smile, and lust. Just when her game went haywire, she left. She left life and left me with it.

I have one thanks for April…….without her I might of never met Mimi.

Mimi came into my life when I most needed her, and unlike April she stayed through the good and bad. She helped clean all the wounds and punctures that April created.

Mimi isn't just a replacement, she is the one and only. She is my soul mate. I wouldn't trade her for all the money in the world. I can't say the same thing about April. Would I have given up April if I knew what she would bring? I would be lying if I answered yes or no. the answer is undefined. Without April, Mimi wouldn't have ever came into my life. April was a part of the working of two soul mates meeting, just as those thugs were for Angel and Collins. I guess you have to lose some to win some.

When April died, what I was looking for wasn't just one good song, it was a lover, a true lover.

April is gone and I'm actually think I'm glad, because she wouldn't know who to deal with life besides the false illusion of happiness that drugs bring.

It doesn't seem to bug me now, Mimi fixed the numbness that April caused. I still miss her, but as a friend and nothing more. We were never meant to be forever. I guess this is just another story of another man facing the fate that lead him to multiple bad things and something good.

I can't really say more….besides, most of my memories of April are just a clouded haze of powder and fiery red hair.