A/N:: So, this is really important to me, because I have found myself in this situation twice, once as Stiles and once as Derek... I don't mean to offend anyone with any of the comments. Enjoy and Review xx
Stiles is sitting in front of Peter's laptop in the main room of Derek's loft, trying to figure out Beacon Hill's latest monster. He has been there for what feels like forever; sitting in the middle of the loft, an intense expression on his face.
Peter, who had originally been helping him out, gave up hours ago and decided to leave it to Stiles. Derek however, is finding it very hard to deal with the fact that he now has Stiles all to himself, even if they are in two different rooms.
Derek can hear Stiles sighing irritably from the next room. He has liked Stiles for a long time now, but has been attempting to hide it under an air of hate. Obviously, he has wondered if Stiles is gay, but so has everyone else, so Derek figures Stiles is just one of those people who seem really gay, but aren't actually. Derek considers that maybe Stiles is confused, and perhaps Derek can help him with that...
Time and time again, Derek thinks about telling Stiles how he feels about him, but every time, something almost like fear rises up inside him, choking him up and keeping him silent. But maybe tonight... they are alone after all, so there's no one to hear if it all goes badly. Derek can feel his heart beat speeding up at the thought of telling Stiles now, and he curses his body for showing such weaknesses.
Somewhere inside him Derek can imagine Peter smirking at him and asking, "What is there to lose?"
But that's just it! Another part of Derek knows exactly what he could lose if this goes badly. He could lose Stiles' trust and well; not friendship exactly, but whatever it is that they share between them. Derek doesn't want to lose that.
Even still, Derek stands up. He's not entirely sure what is making him do this, but he can't help but hope to feel relieved once Stiles knows.
Stiles hears someone enter the room but he doesn't even care. He has to figure this out. He knows he isn't anything special, just a human, but he still wants to help in any way possible. And if that means seemingly endless hours of research in a creepily bare loft with only Hales for company, so be it.
"Stiles," It's Derek. The Alpha has his elbows on the back of the couch where Stiles is sitting, watching over his shoulder.
Stiles grunts in acknowledgement. He honestly can't bring himself to say anything more, he's so out of it.
"Stiles, you need to stop, you've been at that for almost 10 hours." Derek says, still behind him, thankfully not yet moving the laptop away from him.
Again, Stiles just grunts. He doesn't for one second stop clicking away at the mouse, opening up anything and everything that could be a possible lead.
After a moment of deep calming breaths, Derek swipes the laptop from Stiles' grasp and takes it away, hearing Stile's adorably exasperated groans from behind him. Still, Stiles doesn't follow him so Derek takes that as a sign of the boy's weariness. When he comes back into the room, he sees that Stiles has moved position and is now lying horizontally on the sofa.
"Stiles." Derek says, trying to sound harsh, instead of insanely attracted to him. But the word just ends up making Derek sound as if he's pissed off. He supposes that will do.
Stiles moans, otherwise not moving. If Stiles could see him, Derek would have rolled his eyes and shoved the boy off the couch, but because he is safely out of his peripheral vision, Derek let his gaze soften and he felt this urge to run his hand through the boy's hair. But he holds back and takes a deep breath that fortunately sounds a bit like an annoyed sigh.
"Stiles, we need to talk." Derek says. He's not sure where that came from, but there's no way to take it back now. Here goes nothing... or everything.
Stiles opens his eyes lazily, wincing as he sits up to let Derek sit beside him. "'Kay..." he mumbles, rubbing his eyes and trying to stay awake.
"I realize this probably isn't the best time to tell you this, but Stiles..." Derek breaks off. He can't do this. Shit! He puts his head in his hands, God dammit! He has to stop this, he's making himself seem so weak.
"What's wrong?" Stiles asks, reaching out and touching the Alpha's shoulder comfortingly. Derek flinches slightly under Stiles' touch but tells himself to relax and to quit being so damn obvious! Not that being obvious will matter anymore.
"Stiles," he says. His voice sounds a million miles away, as if it's not really him saying it. "I love you."
For some unknown reason Derek looks up to watch Stiles' reaction, and immediately regrets it. Stiles' eyes widen and he blinks confusedly and then his mouth drops open in surprise. For a moment no words come out but then there's a sort of squeak and Stiles closes his mouth, clears his throat and tries again.
"Ugh. Wow, okay. God." Stiles smiles and runs a nervous hand through his hair. "I did not see that coming." He gives a shaky laugh. Derek just stares at him sincerely, but inside he's cursing himself for nearly giving the poor kid a heart attack.
"Derek, I'm sorry, but I'm not actually gay." Stiles says. His expression is soft with concern for Derek and again Derek can't help but marvel at how selfless the boy is.
Derek nods as if this is okay. It's not though, not at all. But he can't tell Stiles this, knowing it will only make Stiles feel bad, even though it's not his fault. "I know," He tells Stiles, "I just thought you should know." he gives a half-hearted smile, hoping to make Stiles feel more comfortable. He can hear his human heart racing and feels guilty for being the cause of it.
Stiles cocks his head to the side and says softly, "I'm sorry Derek."
Derek groans inwardly, this is exactly what he didn't want to happen; for Stiles to start trying to make amends for something that isn't even his fault. "Stiles," Derek says, annoyed, shutting him up, "Stop. Don't be sorry. None of this is your fault, okay?"
Stiles shuts his mouth and stares at Derek for a moment. The werewolf seems to be struggling to keep a straight face. Right now his yes are wide and his mouth is fixed in a tight line.
"Can I help?" Stiles asks awkwardly. He doesn't like Derek back, but now that he understands why Derek is so mean to him he can allow himself not to be so afraid of him.
Derek rolls his eyes, "No, Stiles." Then he smirks, "Well, actually, if you want to quit being so unbelievably adorable, that might help." What?! Did he just say that? Why the hell did he say that? He has to get this under control.
Stiles looks surprised, "I'm adorable?" he asks.
"Stop it, Stiles," Derek groans.
"Stop what?" Stiles asks, confused.
"Being cute." Where the hell did that come from? Where is his mind filter? Agh! "Just- never mind. Don't worry about it. Don't change, okay? Forget everything I just told you." Derek says, dismissing the entire last five minutes/
Stiles holds up a hand to stop him, "Derek."
"What?" Derek demands, sounding way harsher than he'd meant to.
"Stop beating yourself up about this, okay? I don't like you back, but at least now I get why you're always so mean to me. I'm sorry I can't give you what you want but..." Stiles pauses and glances down at his lap. "Well, maybe we can be friends."
He glances at Derek who is staring at Stiles with a shocked expression. Stiles decides to backtrack quickly, "Or maybe you don't have friends, I don't know-"
"Friends would be good." Derek interrupts, silencing the frantic boy.
Stiles sighs, "Okay."
"Okay." Derek smiles shyly. He has absolutely no idea what the hell just happened but everything seems to be okay.
"Okay," Stiles repeats. He stands and Derek's stomach tightens, nope, so not good. "Hug it out?"
Derek nearly chokes. Stiles really has now idea how sweet he is. And as if hugging him would help any of this, or make it any easier. But still, he obliges. Not because a tiny part of him was totally taking advantage of this opportunity to hold Stiles, but to make Stiles happy. Derek nearly gags at the thought of how whipped Stiles has him, but he ignores all of that and hugs him.
"I'm gonna get going," Stiles gestures towards the exit. "But I guess I'll see you soon." The boy shrugs, a tiny smile on his lips.
"Be careful." Derek says casually as he watches Stiles wave goodbye. He doesn't miss it when Stiles nearly misses the step on the way out, as a result of Derek's comment, or the way his heart skipped a beat, but he chooses to ignore it- especially when Stiles turns to give Derek a little smile and says, "I'll try."
He slips out and closes the door but Derek hears him pause right outside and take a few deep breaths before leaving properly. Derek resists the urge to do something really stupid like howl, or smash something, and instead sits himself down on the stair case and thinks about this new beginning.
The End :)
Review?