Sirens.

The sound everyone either dreads, or hopes for. They're the thing you hear loudest when you're driving drunk, or crippled from a fall down the stairs at home. They're what you both never want to, and are relieved to hear. These sirens were my life. I worked with the life-saving sirens. Not the sirens of the law.

As a Paramedic with four years of experience, I sat at the hospital-based E.M.S. Station day in and day out, awaiting the radio calls to come in, sending the team of medical professionals rushing out to the ambulance to help save someone's life.

My job was a gruesome one. Being the first emergency service on the scene of things such as shootings or bad car accidents leaves a sickening feeling in your stomach for days to come and the nagging thought in the back of your head that those victims could have been you.

But I still worked my ass off to do what I do best. This is my story about the events that forever changed my life, and only make me work harder.

My name was (still is), Andelko Begovich. I was a 28 year old Croatian-born American citizen. I have dark brown eyes, short black hair, a beard kept close to my face, somewhat tanned skin, and quite a bit of body hair that's been compared to that of a carpet. I'm around 6'0", and decently muscular. I moved to the United States at the age of 20 to pursue a life away from an unaccepting family. I came out as a gay man at the age of 18, much to my family's chagrin. They were very disappointed and took every opportunity they could to make me miserable, and so, I left and started a new life in Los Angeles, California. I received my Paramedic education at UCLA, and was soon part of an amazing community of medical professionals.

I resided in Playa Del Rey, a primarily residential beachside community with somewhere around 10,000 people in it. I lived in a nice 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom condo that was just within my price range as a Paramedic, and perfect for my lifestyle. Even though I was only one man, I enjoyed the space, and I often times had a friend or two over for a night of rambling and drinking. I always had an agreement with them, though; if we were drunk, no one would leave. One person would crash on the couch, one person would sleep in my bed, and one person would sleep in the extra bed (though it didn't always end up like that. You'd be surprised how comfortable floors can be.).

As far as my work went, I loved my job, despite its extremely depressing lows. I pushed through the sadness on most days, and carried on with my bearded self.

xxxxxx

It was a warm summer, with many people going down to the beaches all along the coast to spend time in the sun, tanning themselves, or rather for some, turning themselves as brightly colored as lobsters. I myself wasn't intending on going to the beach that day, but EMS was called in for a young man who was rescued from drowning by a lifeguard. He had lost consciousness and his breathing was very shallow, so naturally, the lifeguard called us in and we picked up the early-twenties guy. We got him stable and into the ER rather quickly; something we were proficient at. We told the receiving ER Nurses what had happened, and they took the man on their way.

I caught the eye of a tan-skinned man with dark hair and stunning eyes; a nurse by the name of Alexianos Kirzigian. He was a great guy, as far as I knew. We'd crossed paths many times transferring patients, and I'd often wanted to stop and chat with the modest-looking man, but never had the time. I was always running around in the ambulance, or too exhausted at home to do anything.

Regardless, I was always struck by his eyes. They were intense; they showed his caring about every patient that came in. I wondered if everyone had that look in their eyes as a medical professional, but some people just didn't seem so passionate.

As Alexianos whisked away the patient to a room, I returned to the ambulance. The ambulance crew and I sanitized the area, then went back into the only relaxing part of our day; sitting around and waiting for the next call.

Sure enough we were called out and about throughout the day, but eventually my shift came to a close. I said a quick goodbye to my friends at the EMS station, then began my drive home. It was my weekend off; I would probably head to the beach and relax or invite a friend or two over for some drinks. Maybe both?

I pondered as I drove and when I got to my condo I walked in, just to flop down on the black leather couch in my living room with a heavy sigh. Finally, relaxation. After a few moments, I motivated myself to get up and go down the hall to my bedroom, and into my bathroom. I smelled like sweat and various other things I'd come in contact with over the day (I didn't want to guess what they were).

So I stripped out of my work clothes and hopped in the shower, letting the water slide down my body and soak into my hair. I closed my eyes and let out a relaxed breath. I almost nodded off standing there under the warmth of the water, nearly giving myself a heart attack of course, but I occupied myself with washing my body and hair so that I'd stay awake. When I finished up, I got out and dried myself off, then throwing the towel to hang on the shower curtain bar.

I threw on a pair of red and white checkered boxer briefs, a pair of red plaid pajama pants, and a white tank top, before heading to the living room and starting a futile search for my cell phone, which I didn't seem to remember where I'd set it down.

I reaching into the cracks of the cushions of my couch and looked in every nook and cranny, but still couldn't find the newfangled device anywhere. I swear, it was hiding from me. Thankfully though, it began to ring, and I found it back in the bedroom, where I swore I'd checked, but apparently my vision had deceived me.

I answered the call with the ever so typical "Hello?", and was pleased to hear the voice of a longtime friend.

"Hey, Andy, I know it's late and you probably just got off work, but Alexianos and I don't feel like chilling at the apartment tonight. We're bombing the place for those damn bedbugs that keep coming back. I swear, we've tried everything to get rid of them, but it's just not working. Could we crash at your place?"

It was Tino; he was a musician, a singer and guitarist particularly. Popular locally, but he had yet to hit it big. He and Alexianos had an apartment together as far as I knew, though they insisted they were only friends from high school who kept close while Alexianos went to college. It was true, their dingy little shithole of an apartment was infested with bedbugs and probably a rat or three, and I questioned why Alexianos couldn't afford better, seeing as he was an ER Trauma Nurse and all, but I'd never actually been in close quarters with him long enough to ask him why. Tino sometimes chilled at my condo, but Alexianos never came with him, for whatever reason.

I'd met Tino when he'd played at a gay bar I'd gone to a few years back, and since then, we'd been pretty close. He was gay like me of course, considering how we'd met, but he had some Russian lover who was studying abroad in god knows where (which is ironic, considering Tino is Finnish. Can someone say Winter War?). Believe me, I would have love to date the guy, but he was taken.

"Yeah, sure. Just come in when you get here. The door is unlocked." I responded to the younger male.

"Alright. Thanks a lot, Andy."

"No problem. See you when you get here."

I hung up the phone and returned to my couch, sliding slightly due to the lack of friction on a leather couch and having to readjust my position, but getting comfortable after a few minutes. I found myself drifting off into sleep, but I was awakened with my second near-heart attack of the night when Tino came in, the opening of the door startling me. I stood up and sighed.

"You scared me half to death. Jesus, Tino." I said, chuckling. Tino laughed.

"Sorry, Andy! Didn't mean to." He apologized, setting a bag of what I presumed to be clothes against the wall. Alexianos came in and shut the door behind him, also setting a bag down. He smiled modestly.

"I don't think I've ever come with Tino over here." He noted, standing awkwardly, obviously trying to figure out how to settle into the new environment.

"I don't see why you haven't. I don't bite a lot. Just ask Tino, he knows." I joked, smirking.

Tino grinned. "Oh I know, baby." He joked in return, winking. We laughed and Alex chuckled.

"That was a joke, right?" He asked, slightly confused. I pat his shoulder, laughing lightheartedly.

"Yes, it was a joke. I'm the most single man on the planet, and have been since the day I came out." I remarked before stepping away. "So, I'm probably going to go to bed. Alex, don't be a stranger. Raid my fridge, do whatever. Tino will probably do it, at least for my beer. I don't really care. It's my weekend off and I am so going to the beach tomorrow. Want to join me, you guys?"

"I'm actually going to be headed to San Fran tomorrow for a good gig. Well-paying one, might be my ticket out of that shitty apartment." Tino replied. I nodded.

"And you, Alex?"

"I'll join you." He smiled.

"Alright. Sounds great, Tino, if you leave for San Fran before I wake up; good luck. Goodnight guys." With that, I headed to my bedroom and lay down, burying myself in the blankets and rather quickly passing out.

In the morning, I slowly opened my eyes as the sun beamed down through my bedroom window just to burn my retinas, and then quickly rolled over, blinking away the sleep and sighing a bit. I was warm and comfy and I didn't exactly feel like moving. Eventually I willed myself to get up. I went to my bathroom and brushed my teeth and combed what hair there was to comb on my head (I probably had more to comb on my chest than I did on my head, now that I thought about it), then went to my dresser next to my bed and pulled out a pair of swim shorts. I set them aside, then took off my pajama pants and underwear, slipping on the black trunks. I walked out of my bedroom and walked down the hall to the living room, seeing Alexianos sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee. He was already dressed and ready for the beach.

"Helped yourself to some coffee, I see. Good." I said, smiling. Alex smiled back.

"Tino made it before he left. I had no idea where anything was in the kitchen, but he seemed to."

"Yeah, Tino's been here more than once. That brings the question; why don't you ever come with him?"

"I'm either working, or cleaning up the apartment, or visiting my sister in Glendale. She has a brain tumor; a cancer… She was treated for it as a child and they thought she was cured but it came back last year and now… Now we can't do anything but let it happen. There's no way to treat it anymore, since it's advanced through her spinal fluid into her spine and… It's terrible, but my sister and I promised not to let her go alone. My sister lives with her right now, and I do everything I can to be there."

"Oh Alex… I'm so sorry…" I sat down next to the Armenian man and placed a hand on his back. Judging by the tears that formed in his eyes as he spoke of his dying mother, I knew it was tough for him to be here, away from the one he cared about most.

"No, it's not your fault. It's no one's fault. You and I both know how these things work, being medical professionals and all… It's not fair, but we can't change it. That's why my sister and I are working so hard to be there for her and make her happy before she goes. Why live in misery in your last day? Why… Why not try to be as happy as possible while you still can be, you know? It's why I don't let myself get depressed about it. It's hard, because she's my mother and I love her so much, but she knows I love her, and she'll know that when she passes. And I hope that makes her happy."

I almost found myself tearing up at the man's compassion for his mother, and his will to be happy and make others feel the same. People always said there's a light in the darkness, and Alexianos may as well have been a spotlight in Hollywood sank into the darkest of oceans. I couldn't do anything but lean over and hug the tan-skinned man, and smile a bit when he wrapped his arms around me, returning the friendly gesture. For some reason, I felt my heart pound in my chest when I felt his hands on my back, but I shrugged it off in my head and let go of him.

He smiled a bit at me. "Well, enough of that for now. Are you ready to go to the beach?"

I nodded my head and stood up. "Yeah, just let me grab some towels and we'll head down. You've been on this beach before, right?"

"No, actually, as shocking as that is. Tino has though, I'm sure." Alex chuckled.

"He's been drunk on the beach so many times… I tell him not to, but he's Finnish. He'll do what he pleases, when he pleases, and likely be drunk and not remember a thing in the morning." I joked as I went into the hall and opened the closet. I grabbed two towels (both checkered like the Croatian flag; are you feeling my sense of pride yet?)

"Tell me about it. I live with the guy." Alex responded as I walked back into the room. I grabbed a backpack that I usually took to the beach from beside the couch (a lovely little thing I set there to trip myself over every day), and put the towels and a few beers inside while snatching my house keys and a pair of white-rimmed, black-lensed aviator sunglasses from the kitchen counter.

"Alright, let's go."

Alex and I headed out the door and began our walk down Playa Del Rey's not-so-spacious streets towards the beach, which at this time in the morning, wasn't half as crowded as it would be. We both slipped off our shoes before we went onto the sand, and I relished in the feeling of the sand between my toes. It was a hot, beautiful day, and the only thing that was here to bother anyone was the sounds of the planes going in and out of the Los Angeles International Airport, which was seated right beside Playa Del Rey, so when you were getting your lobster tan on, you could watch the planes come and go. I found it cool, rather than annoying, seeing that I lived here and loved this place to death, but tourists who stopped by complained sometimes; not that tourists stopped by here much regardless. They flocked to Hollywood and whatnot to try to catch a glimpse of rare and exotic celebrities in their natural habitat.

As we walked we talked about whatever came to mind, and we settled down on our towels and enjoyed a few beers. I took off my tank top and Alexianos made a comment about how hairy I was.

"That's a lot of hair. You couldn't get burned if you tried; it's natural sunblock!" He joked. I laughed and playfully punched his arm.

"You know you're jealous!" I grinned and he smirked.

"Nah. I have enough problems growing hair, let alone maintaining it. Seriously, this soul patch is all my face can muster. It wimps out on a beard. I've tried. I look like a teen who just hit puberty who has yet to learn how to shave."

"I actually haven't shaved my beard in a long time. Hard to remember what I look like clean shaven." I mused, taking a drink of my beer. Alexianos was great company, and as he took of his t-shirt to reveal his lightly toned chest and stomach, it made it even more evident how much I liked this man.

"What? Never seen a guy take off his shirt?"

"Well, I have, but… You have a nice body, Alex." I complimented, hoping not to sound creepy. "You work out or something?"

"Not all the time, but I stay fit. You don't look too bad yourself." He smiled, and I could have sworn that I heard a slight bit of flirtatiousness in his tone. Maybe it was me just hoping for things, but this man was certainly beautiful inside and out.

"Ah, don't flatter me. I've actually gained weight since I started working so much." I pat my stomach. I wasn't too bad at all, but I wasn't quite as spry and youthfully strong as I'd been in previous years. "Not too shabby though."

"Maybe we could work out together. I go to the gym Wednesdays and Saturdays when I'm not doing my thing in the ER."

"That'd be great. Are we going to take gym mirror selfies?" I joked, grinning.

Alex laughed. "Hey, I'll admit, I've taken a few. We should take one right now, make our coworkers jealous."

"I think it'll just make Tino jealous, actually." I said as Alex pulled out his phone. We scooched closer together and grinned at the camera as he took the photo. He posted it to Facebook saying he was at Playa Del Rey's beach with me, and it was only a few moments before his phone rang. Alex answered it with it on speakerphone.

"Hey Alfred."

"You at Playa Del Ray?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Dude, I'll so see you there! Is it your day off?"

"Yeah, and Andelko's. You know, one of the EMTs?"

"Yeah, yeah I've seen him transferring patients. You hang with him?"

"Not until today, really. Tino brought me over to Andelko's because we're bombing the apartment for bugs. I couldn't stay there last night, and Tino needed the car to go to San Fran for a gig, so I couldn't go to mom's house. Andelko's a nice guy anyways, so he was fine with Tino and I both crashing there for the night, instead of just Tino."

"Ah, well, I just got off work and I'm not tired. Too much coffee or something, bro. I saw that you were at the beach when I was checking Facebook and I figured I'd see if you minded me joining you. Maybe I can get Arthur or Matt to come along."

"Sure, make it a party." Alexianos chuckled. "We'll be here a while. I'm sure you won't have a hard time finding us. Red and white checkered towels, and Andelko is pretty much a black carpet."

"That sounded racist."

"He has a lot of hair."

"Oh. Haha, that's awesome. Beards are awesome. Tell him I said that."

"I can hear you just fine, Alfred." I said, laughing. "Thanks."

"Yeah, you're welcome, dude. Compliments for all. If I could grow a beard I would, but blondes with beards don't look that great in my opinion. My bro grows one for the NHL playoffs; he looks so weird."

"I think beards are sexy, actually. Just depends on preferences." Alex said, chuckling. "Anyways, see you when you get here, Alfred."

"Yeah, see you there."

Alex hung up his phone and set it aside, smiling. "He's such a nutcase."

"A nurse as well, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, he works with me in the ER. His boyfriend is Dr. Kirkland, if you know who he is."

"Pediatrics, right?"

"Yeah. But Alfred is so American it hurts. He radiates red, white, and blue and probably shits free enterprise, but he's a good friend."

"I didn't know it was possible to shit capitalism. You learn something new every day."

When Alfred showed up with his boyfriend in tow, Alex practically threw a beer at the unsuspecting American and Alfred hardly had time to snatch it out of the air before it left a brown-bottle bruise on his face.

"Hey now, watch where you're throwing that. We're all of work and I doubt we want to turn this beach into an ER." Al remarked, grinning. He sat down in the sand, wearing a pair of American flag swim trunks, meanwhile his boyfriend sat beside him in a more conservative pair of blue ones, as well as a t-shirt.

"What's a little blood in the sand going to hurt? Wouldn't be the first time, I'm sure."

"Oh, don't even get me started. Tino cut his foot on a rock in the water, and walked all the way up to me when I was half asleep, trailing red as he went, shook me to wake me up and scared me half to death. Showed me his foot and I had to take him to the hospital to get it cleaned and stitched up."

"Oh damn, I remember that." Alexianos said, snapping his fingers. "He was limping around for two weeks after that."

We continued with our gruesome stories and our joked, Alfred eventually stating that Alexianos was right that I looked like a carpet, Arthur shushing him for being rude, Alexianos realizing that everyone gathered had a name that started in A, and so on so forth. Alex and I stayed on that beach until the evening came (aside from a few trips back to my condo for more beer, a few snacks, and some sunscreen).

When we went back to the condo as the sun was setting we were both pretty tipsy and it was a miracle we managed to find my house and get inside. I couldn't remember much but us laughing and drinking more, and eating some leftovers I had in my fridge. Beyond the infectious laughter and the gorgeous man I'd been hanging out with that entire day, it was all a blur.

There were some sensations I remembered when I awoke in the morning in my bed, curled up in the blankets, though my eyes still closed; a hand on my chest, a hand pulling at the short hair on my head, my swim trunks sliding down to my ankles, and seeing a perfect and tan body in front of me that was nowhere near my own.

I opened my eyes quickly and was horrified to see Alexianos curled up beside me. I gasped. "Oh my god… Oh my fucking god…" I pulled the blankets off of myself only to hate myself more when I figured out I was naked. I sat up, feeling sick to my stomach at the pain in my nether regions. This could not have happened. I could not have just given my virginity away to intoxication. Not like this. I'd have loved to have sex with the man, but it was drunk; there was no consent, there were no feelings but lust.

I covered my face with my hands, tears in my eyes, a headache pounding in my skull. I figured it was best if I woke Alexianos up and we figured this out as quickly as possible.

I reached over with shaking hands and shook him. "A-Alex? Alex, please wake up." My voice was trembling as much as I was. Alex stirred and then rolled over to look at me. He went wide eyed, then sat up, looking around.

"Andelko, what… What happened?" He seemed to be trying to gather information from the area and from himself, much like I had only seconds ago.

I frowned, biting my lip, tears falling from my eyes.

"Alex I… I-I think we had sex last night."