Graduation should be a time for celebration. Craig Tucker has his cap askew atop his head, gown lazily draped across the desk chair in his room. Everyone else is partying, the end of one chapter. And here he is with a menthol cigarette between two long fingers as his feet dangle from the roof of his childhood home. He exhales the fumes out into crisp mountain air. Watches as it curls and fades into the environment.
Craig's not above partying, but he aches for something just a bit plainer tonight. Boring and safe. So he finds solace in a too big sweater and streetlight illuminating him in the dark of his town. It's eerie quiet for such a night. Craig looks down at his phone, sees that he has been tagged in an excess of photos. Some bad phone quality snapshots and some done with more professional equipment. His profile picture has been the same for as long as he could remember. Some stupid picture of his cat, pumpkin clad in a fuzzy sweater. Eyes closed in slumber, nestled into Craig's blankets.
It's when snow begins to dance downwards, landing on Craig's bare knees that he decides to climb back in through the window of the attic. The window closes shut with a groan, squeaky and echoing throughout the confines of the dimly lit room. Craig climbs down from the stairs that lead up to the quiet walls. As soon as he steps away from it he is hit with the sound of music.
Turn the radio on and lay you down too, I can be the one for you
Craig tries to pass Tricia's room with no intent to pry into her business. Though any hopes of escaping to his own privacy is shot down when the door swings open and she quickly grabs onto his wrist. Making any hopes of escape come to a halt.
"Craig, come on." She says, annoyance laced into her nasal voice. Craig blinks at her, eyes falling down to where her manicured nails are digging into his tan flesh. It's such a contrast because she is so pale with red hair, freckles. While he is darker all around. Tan skin and dark hair. Green eyes while she has blue. The same thing that remains is that they have the same damn freckles and awkward limbs. Tricia's splattering of freckles is more prominent. Kissing her face, neck, arms and chest. They're all over, while Craig's is a sprinkling on his shoulders and hands. A few dotted across his face, though not as noticeable. They both have the same awkward, long limbs. Long fingers and legs and arms. It's a curse passed down from their mother.
Craig is pulled into Tricia's room to be greeted by two of the McCormick siblings. Karen and Kenny. He lets out a sigh, but Tricia still has him in her hold so he has no other choice but sit in between Kenny and Karen.
The smell of pot smoke lingers in the air. Craig's eyes dart to Karen who cradles a pipe in her dainty hands. At least if Craig is going to be around anyone he can get weed out of it. Karen looks up at him with her big blue eyes and passes the colorful pipe to him. Craig pulls out his lighter and flicks the little wheel to it, the flame flares up. He puts it close to the kush set up in the bowl, puts his finger where it needs to be. Then takes a hit.
"Why am I here." Craig pries after holding the smoke in for a few seconds. He exhales it, his eyes on Tricia. Seldom does Tricia actually want his company, especially if Karen is around. He knows it probably has something to do with Kenny, but he avoids the others gaze.
It's odd because although Karen and Tricia were such good friends, Craig and Kenny don't fuck with each other much anymore. They used to be close. Key word, used to. There was never any real reasoning why they weren't anymore other than the fact that they grew apart with the changing of high school. South Park and North Park district combined into one by the time they reached the end of middle school. When Craig stepped into his high school for the first time there was a crowd of faces, familiar and new. He just stuck by Clyde and Tweek. Though Craig seldom was seen these days with Tweek at school since they broke up, he still found himself with a coffee mug at his families shop. The heat would transfer from the drink to Craig's winter bitten flesh. He'd pick at pastries while Tweek would holler about conspiracy theories. It wasn't often, and the frequency of the visits decreased drastically the last few months.
Craig lays back on Tricia's bed, letting the high sink in. His cap is on his lap, he forgot it was even in his hold. Craig's gaze falls on the ceiling.
"Kenny was wondering if you'd join us to go skinny dipping." Tricia vocalizes, finally. Craig knew she waited until he was buzzed to ask. She does this quite often, when she wants something she'll get Craig high and send him out to get food or take her places. Craig always complies, not so much to pacify Tricia who has quite the temper.
More because while he's under the influence there is something peaceful about driving around South Park.
It's usually late nights Tricia puts Craig in these predicaments. The world seems at ease with the soft white swirling down and the town silent. Dimly lit streets and the crunching of snow underneath tire.
However, getting butt naked in front of his sister, her friend and Kenny doesn't seem to put any sort of comfort into his head. Craig lets out a long suffering sigh.
"No. No way in hell." Craig retorts I'm dry nasal. He goes to retreat to his room, only for Kenny to spin him right around. Gripping onto his long sleeve. Craig comes face to face with the other. On reflex he flips him off, brows furrowed.
"What the fuck." Craig spits out. Kenny is studying him, and he grins. It makes Craig annoyed and he pulls his sleeve out of Kenny's grip.
"I didn't take you to be a pussy, Craig." Kenny picks at him. He looks smug, comfortable where he sits next to Tricias's stuffed panda. Craig can hear Tricia and Karen let out a laugh at Kenny's comment.
"I'm not a pussy. I'm just not stupid." Craig starts. He crosses his arms, and stares with half lidded, hazel eyes down at Kenny.
"Where would we even go swimming? It's fucking freezing out." Craig finishes off. Kenny lets out a hum, digs in his pocket without beating his gaze. He digs around for something, then holds out his palm and there lies a key.
"Are you forgetting my brother coaches the swim team?" Kenny pries. Craig rolls his eyes. He did forget. He paid no attention to the fucking swim team, of all things. He briefly overheard Karen telling Tricia how they both moved in with Kevin and Shelly. Who have been married for a few years now. Apparently they were doing good for themselves and a decision was made for the younger siblings to live with Kevin.
"Whatever." Craig retorts. Kenny just nods his head, sitting in the fact that he won.
"Be prepared to strip down ladies and gentleman."
They stop at the dollar store first. Tricia is licking her lips rather excessively, whining about how she has the munchies. Craig makes a sharp turn into the parking lot. He taps his finger against the steering wheel as he waits for the two girls to grab their desired food. Craig hands Tricia a crinkled five dollar bill. Demanding Doritos if he has to endure the three of them for an extended amount of time.
They take rather long, Craig keeps his attention out at the empty parking spaces. The dirty snow piled up. One thing he's noticed from living in South Park is that they start off beautiful, all romances and dynamics of love driven human relationship. After awhile though, it turns to shit. Like piles of said dirt and snow in a parking lot.
There was evidence in every aspect of Craig's life. His biological fathers absence, his step fathers cheating, his grandmas yearning heart and his grandfathers ashes on the mantle of her fireplace.
Maybe that's why he hasn't dated anyone since Tweek. Their relationship was strange when you make that comparison. It's almost backwards, as if the shit piled up and was dirty. Than purified. Only to swirl back down to earth and turn back into shit.
They were better off friends. Craig still remembers the way it ended.
The radio spits out an 80's love ballad and Craig blinks and tries to get himself back to reality. Thinking like that is no good while high, it's seldom that Craig has anxiety while smoking these days. However, if he lets his mind wander his heart beats in his chest like a loud, steady drum. He takes a deep breath in. Holds. Exhales.
"You ok, dude?" Kenny questions. Craig forgot he was even in the car.
Craig's tongue darts out to moisten his lips. His face is numb, and he shouldn't focus on that. He does, though.
"I'm anxious as fuck." Craig retorts, honestly. It's the weed, Craig would never bluntly state that otherwise. It's a well reserved fact, his panic attacks and anxiety. Although it's rare for him to have them now, they do come.
"Oh, hey. Come on." Kenny says, he unbuckles his seat belt and climbs to the passenger side where Craig sits across from.
Craig's body is stiff, fingers curled around the steering wheel. Kenny rests his hand on top of Craig's.
"What can I do?" Kenny asks. Craig keeps taking those deep breaths, it feels so light, like he's not even breathing. Like there is barely any air escaping his lips. That makes him all the more nervous.
"I don't fucking know." Craig retorts sharply. He doesn't know why Kenny is being kind to him when less than thirty minutes ago he was calling him a pussy. Though it's not exactly positive, it shifts his attention. Craig's hazel eyes fall on Kenny while Kenny's blue eyes focus on Craig's countenance. Kenny's face dimly lit by the light of the store.
"Didn't you used to sing?" Kenny pries. Craig's brows furrow in frustration. He did. With Tweek, the whole put it down fiasco. Craig was even in chorus for a brief amount of time. He used to sing. It's weird for Kenny to ask.
"Yeah." Craig replies evenly. He can feel Kenny rubbing circles into his flesh with his thumb. It's comforting, oddly enough. When Kenny takes that hand away, Craig has a desire to grab it back. He doesn't though.
Kenny turns toward the radio. Craig watches as he fiddles with the controls, eventually turning up the music.
"I'm going to serenade you." Kenny says, expression serious. The beginning chords of Journeys "Faithfully" begin to start. Soft piano and guitar before the beginning lines pick up, Kenny grabs Craig's hands. Holds them in between his two palms. They're warm, and Craig's are numb. As soon as Kenny's hands make contact, he feels the heat. Soft flesh pressed against his own.
"Highway run..." Kenny starts. This is when it starts to register that Kenny isn't shitting him. Craig blinks. But a smile begins to form on his lips.
"Please don't" Craig chokes out between laughter. He does though, Kenny continues right on. He hits each note, eyes focused on Craig as he belts each lyric.
"I'm forever youuuurs! Faithfully..." eventually it comes to an end with Kenny kissing Craig's knuckles. Craig's eyelids hang low and his tummy is a fire. Kenny pushes strands of black hair away from green eyes as the door to van slides open.
"Are y'all gay?" Tricia screams. Kenny kisses Craig's cheek and lets his hold of the other go. Craig watches in a daze as Kenny climbs into the back seat again.
"Fuck yeah. You know me, loving the birds and the bees." Kenny says as he leans back into the seat of the car. Craig blinks and turns back to the parking lot. His hands rest again on the steering wheel. He can't fathom how Kenny could look at him like he just did and be such a fucking pig. It's not like it matters anyways, Craig was having a moment of vulnerability and he guesses Kenny didn't want Craig to ruin their night.
Whatever the case, it helped Craig come back.
It won't happen again.
Karen, Tricia and Kenny all chatter amongst themselves as Craig closes the distance between the dollar store and the school.
It's a short lived ride, everything in South Park is so close together that they really could walk there. Cars were just convenient because of the temperature.
They pull up to the pool entrance. Its behind the school, a dumpster placed next to the door. It's surreal to know Craig won't be smoking here during lunch anymore. It was a quiet place to have some solitude. Craig would plop his ass down on the concrete and listen to bird song, nature noise. The goth kids often were around, but they kept their distance. It was quiet.
Craig parks and Karen gets out first. Her long mousey hair whips around with the wind. Craig clicks the lock button on his moms van. Kenny takes the lead to the entrance, pokes his key into its hole and turns. They are greeted to the smell of chlorine. The pool all set up for the summer training sessions.
Instantly Kenny's pants drop. He yanks his orange Parker up over his frame along with his T-shirt, kicks his shoes off and runs to jump right in. Tricia follows soon after while Karen shyly strips down to her bra and panties. Craig doesn't blame her. He himself stands there, already feeling nude although the only article of clothing he removed is his socks.
Karen soon follows after the other two, dipping her feet in before letting herself be submerged in the water.
Craig stands there with his bare feet resting on the flooring. He's got his hands stuffed in his shorts pockets. Watching everyone from a distance.
He's about to turn around to go back to the van when he feels a wet hand on his shoulder. Kenny spins him around, yet again, to face him. Craig raises his chin at Kenny, and Kenny tugs him towards the pool.
"I'm not going in there." Craig informs Kenny, he still tugs him closer, Craig doesn't want to budge. But Kenny is mighty strong. He may be a few inches shorter than Craig but what he lacks in height Kenny makes up for in width. He's not fat but soft. A little tummy and thick legs and arms.
Craig tries not to take in the others body. Tries not to stare.
Before he knows it he can't anyways, he's being pushed in the pool. His whole body is submerged in the water. He goes deeper towards the bottom when he fully comprehends what happened and starts to swim upwards. When Craig breaks the surface of water he takes in a sharp inhale. He's never been good at swimming or holding in his breath.
His clothes stick to him, damp and clinging to his thin frame. They're all laughing at Craig's expense and he raises his middle finger up at all of them. Legs kicking to keep himself afloat.
"Off! Off! Off!" They chant and Craig's rolls his eyes, he swims back to the edge of the pool and pulls himself out. Craig lets his feet rest in the water. Eventually their chanting dies down.
"God, you suck bro." Tricia flips him off. Karen is nodding her head in agreement. Kenny remains quiet though, his blue eyes stuck on Craig.
His gaze breaks away as Karen begins to climb on to his back. The three of them play around in the pool for a good while. Craig just sits there and is thankful he left his phone in the car. Bored without it, though.
Karen and Tricia are floating on their backs when Kenny climbs out. He shakes his wavy blond hair and it splashes Craig. Craig lets out a sigh, wrapping his arms around himself. It's fucking freezing.
"Hey girls, I think Craig and I are gonna head out, ok?" Kenny vocalizes. Craig looks up at him in confusion. Kenny's bare thighs press against Craig's damp shorts. Craig keeps his gaze on that. Steady and focused. Karen lets out a groan, her own eyes on the high ceiling of the pools room.
"Really? Craig is so rubbing off on you." Karen vocalizes, Ruby remains oddly quiet at this. Her blue orbs flick from the two of them. Kenny to Craig, then back again.
"Whatever" she finally vocalizes. She kicks her feet to swim away from them, Karen following soon after. Kenny picks himself up. Standing and reaching a hand out to Craig. Craig accepts it, his hands hot and sweaty. Kenny's are still cool.
Kenny picks his shirt up, a little white T-shirt with some band logo on it. He pulls it over his head, when it's fully covering his torso he stops. He turns to look at Craig. Who's keeping his attention away from Kenny, anywhere but him.
Craig is freezing and his arms are wrapped around his thin frame. He quivers gently. Clothes still damp.
Kenny throws his pants at Craig. They're bright orange, sticking out like a sore thumb. Craig clumsily catches them. They're rough in texture, worn down. Little holes here and there.
"Come on, give me your pants." Kenny demands. Craig stares at him, expression blank. He can tell Kenny is serious. With hesitation Craig curls his fingers around the waistband of his short. He pulls them down and they pool around his ankles. For some reason, he doesn't let his gaze leave Kenny's as he lifts his feet to get completely out of his shorts. There is something in the way that Kenny is looking at him that Craig can't seem to break from.
His eyes are bloodshot and his eyelids hang low. They're blue and his pupils are blown. Kenny is illuminated in a blueish glow from the pool. Craig can't help but notice the little stubbles of hair on his chin. His parted lips and the little bead of water rolling down from his temple.
Kenny passes Craig his parka as he begins to put Craig's clothes on. He keeps his T-shirt. So Craigs torso is bare underneath the confines of the jacket. The orange parka is way too big on Craig. It's warm, though.
Kenny takes the lead out of the building first. It has stopped snowing and it's quiet. Crickets chirp their mating calls and raccoons shuffle through garbage.
Craig goes to close the distance between the car and himself when he again feels himself being spun around. He doesn't have time to comprehend what is happening before he is being pushed against the closed door of the pool and Kenny's lips are on his.
Craig freezes at first. Heart a rapid drum in his ears. He should push Kenny away. He doesn't. Instead what he does is stupid, impulsive. He kisses back. Lips moving against Kenny's, his hands act on their own accord to soft blond waves. Fingers curling into the tresses. Kenny's lips make a trail to Craig's neck where he begins to suck at the exposed flesh. He bites and sucks at the skin. Craig can't help but let out a moan. His neck is so sensitive, especially where Kenny is aiming for. Right behind his ear, the space between neck and shoulder. It falls from his lips before he can stop himself.
Kenny hands are gripping into Craig's hips. Slipping under the orange jacket to feel the bare flesh beneath. Craig is shaking with need at the attention. It's been so long since anyone's kissed him. Let alone took the lead of dominance.
When Kenny is satisfied with himself, he pulls away. He reaches his hand out to touch at the bruises forming on Craig's neck.
"I couldn't help myself." Kenny vocalizes. Craig is in a daze, attention at the empty school parking lot behind Kenny. His breathing is heavy, fingers still tangled in Kenny's hair. His skin prickles and yearns at the feeling of Kenny touching it.
"I fucked everyone I wanted at this school. Everyone but you." Craig does look at him now. He can't find anything to say, he's shocked still.
"I'm not going to force you" Kenny reassures. He pulls away. Letting his roaming hands fall to his sides. Craig watches Kenny's fingers twitch, and he feels his own fidget.
"But think about it." Kenny finishes. His expression changes from one of seriousness back to playful. A big, gap toothed grin. Teeth yellow and crooked. It's one of the only things about Kenny that isn't outwardly beautiful. Craig can't help but think there is something still quite charming about Kenny's smile, though.
Kenny goes to open the passenger side of the mini van. Resting his feet on the dashboard. Craig takes in a deep breath. Tries to catch his composure before hopping into the drivers side. He avoids looking at Kenny as he starts up the car. Fiddles with the radio and keeps his attentions strictly on the road. The ride is quiet, just the radio and Kenny singing along to the music.
Craig drops Kenny off at his brothers apartment. Watches the others retreating frame. His green eyes stay stuck on the front door even as it closes behind Kenny.
Eventually Craig pulls his gaze away from the apartment. Looks down at his lap when he realizes he's wearing Kenny's clothes still. They smell sweet, like laundry detergent. It's weird because Kenny always used to smell like cigarettes and body odor when they were kids.
Craig pulls the parka tighter around his frame, lifting the hood up. It's cold, and the jacket it warm.