retelling of the last part of chapter 122 and what happens after
Disclaimer: I do not own Akatsuki no Yona nor the characters.
(However I would like to own Hak for myself. Lol. Who doesn't?)
Warning: fluff fest.
Note: Edited Chapter 1
This was posted before chapter 123. I loved chapter 123, and I don't see the need to change it. This was just a product of my frustration while I was waiting for the release of the chapter.
"I'm back"
Yona whispered to herself as she stared at the folds of the tent above her. 3 days have passed since she came back. She's tired and worn out from everything. But she just couldn't sleep. She turned her head to look at Yun. He's curled up and sleeping peacefully beside her.
Few more attempts to sleep and she soon gave up. She crawled out of the tent, trying to be as quiet as possible with every move.
Lots of things have been stirring in her mind. The nadai issue, the kingdom's current state, her recent experiences -she could still feel small waves of panic upon recalling the sight of Lily nearly dying. She wondered how she's doing – she made a mental note of checking up on her some time soon.
Her heart dropped as she felt a pang in her chest as her thoughts drifted to the "little reunion" she had with Soo Won and Hak. A memory resurfaced. A memory of them and how they used to be. A faint thought, an impossible wish of things they could have been together.
How did it end up like this?
The pain of the hunger, the beatings, the maltreatment, the wounds – she recalled, they all seemed nothing compared to the ache she felt about the three of them and how they are now.
Knowing that drowning herself in these thoughts would not help, she shoved the thoughts away as she walked towards the larger tent where the others are sleeping. She found comfort in thinking that she's no longer too far away from them. Yun, Kija, Shin ah, Jae ha, Zeno and Hak, she had missed them all so much. Their company, laughter, shared feelings, even their mere presence- they're all somewhat have become her home.
She quietly knelt forward, pushed aside the tent's flaps and peeked inside. Shin ah was sleeping on his side, back turned against Kija. Zeno was in between Kija and Jae ha, hugging Kija's arm, and locking Jae ha's leg with his. It all seemed normal. Except Hak wasn't there.
Hak… maybe it's his turn to keep watch
She released the flaps and stood up.
Hak hasn't talked to her. He did say it's good that she's back but they've never really talked like she expected. He hasn't scolded her. He hasn't teased her. It was clear that she missed him. And he's been… well, distant. He was avoiding her and it hurt her –more than she'd like to admit.
Her eyes trailed off toward the woods in search for signs of him. Absentmindedly, she started walking, eyes still looking for him.
Why she felt this way needed no explanation. It only made sense because he was Hak. He's been by her side ever since. He was her friend. Her companion. The most important person in her life… Whether there's something else that she felt towards him that confused her, it didn't matter. Feeling that he's drifted away from her was enough reason for her to feel this way.
"Princess? What's wrong?" His voice almost made her jump. She turned towards the source of the voice and he was there. "Why are you up at this hour?"
Hak
She didn't answer.
"Does your leg hurt?"
"I want to touch you" she blurted out.
"…What?" Hak stared in confusion. Was he hearing things? Was he THAT tired?
As she approached her, he reassured himself that he wasn't hallucinating.
"Hak."
"Yes, Princess Yona?" He sounded like a soldier addressing his royal highness.
She remembered being the one asking him to call her princess but never had it felt this distant. The formality stung her. And she had no use for formality right now.
"Why are you so distant?"
He froze, not knowing how to answer.
She's really here. Shit. What do I do?
Stubborn as he was, he knew that this is a case where he wouldn't be able to get out of. Ever since Yona was back, he's been on edge. He's distanced himself. He reminded himself that he couldn't lose control again. He almost did when he first saw her the day she came back. He remembered that moment when everything suddenly fell silent and she was all he could see. Relief, Anger, Worry, and happiness all welled up inside him in a battle making, him lose his senses for a moment. And just before it fully consumed him, he was able to stop himself from pushing her down and ravaging her like the senseless animal he was. So no, that can't happen again.
"What do you mean, hime? I'm right here" he knew exactly what she meant
"No, Hak. I mean, you FEEL distant. You were closer before… I think."
He didn't say anything or rather, he didn't know what to say.
"I figured you'd be scolding me after what happened. Do 'weird things'. Say stuff like you want to 'tie me up' or be annoyingly close. You would get angry. You would get over protective… I thought we've grown closer" She tried her best not so sound emotional and be casual instead, but her eyes starting to feel hot.
He kept silent for a moment. He couldn't take this any longer. This woman didn't know what she's doing to him and she's dancing on his last nerve of self-control.
"Princess, you should go back and sleep. Don't trouble yourself thinking of such things. Plus, Yun would be worried if he finds you're not ther- -"
Her hand was clutching on the hem of his robe. When did she get so close?
"Hak"
Her lavender eyes found his dark sapphire ones, For a moment, he felt even more vulnerable and scared. Her voice was regal and commanding but her eyes were wet and blazed with frustration. … and he was falling even more in love.
"What did I do to make you hate me so much?" she was being irrational. 'hate' was a little bit over the edge. She should have been more careful but the words just poured out of her.
She didn't have the time to change it.
He snapped.
With one swift movement, she found herself suddenly trapped between him and a tree, his arms planted against the tree on both her sides, his tall figure towering over her small frame.
He looked angry.
"Hak, I didn't mean- -"
"Do you have ANY idea how much self-control I have to round up JUST to keep myself from pouncing on you? From the moment I saw you limping towards me the day you came back with Jae Ha and Zeno, I've been wrestling with the urge to take you in my arms and keep you to myself. I wanted to tie you up. I still do. The reason I've been distant is I'm scared. I'm scared of what I might do to you. I'm afraid I will have no self-control left in me, I might not be able to protect you from me and I won't be able to hold back. And you come running in here, alone, saying something about wanting to touch me…"
"- - -" she was out of words. His eyes was boring into hers and she was frozen.
"You really have no idea what you do to me, do you?" his voice was softer.
He slumped his head onto her shoulder.
"I don't hate you. I can't hate you, Yona. Even if you ordered me to. It's just damn impossible" a sense of defeat coated his voice
They both fell silent and they stayed that way for a while until she broke the silence.
"I- - I don't hate you too." She hid her eyes in his shoulders, leaning against him.
From her shoulders, he raised his head and leaned his forehead against hers.
"I was very worried, princess" he said it with reverence and endearment -the way he normally would rather than the distant formality he's been using recently.
She felt a wave of relief crashing down on her, along with a sting of guilt.
"… I'm sorry" She closed her eyes as she cried silently, trying to stop it with all her might. She wasn't sure if it was of the guilt from having him worry that much or of the feeling of being safe to finally break down or relief of having him closer -of the satisfied longing.
He pulled her into an embrace, burying his face in her hair. He ran his right hand in circular motions against her back to calm her down.
"It hurt"
"Your leg?"
"No, you idiot." More tears spilled from her eyes.
"Well sorry for being an idiot, Ohime-sama." He replied, trying to lighten up the mood to no avail. "I'm sorry" His voice was lulling her. He pulled his head away, rested his chin on top of her head.
"Idiot. You're an idiot" She clutches at the fabric of his clothes on his sides, as if making sure he wasn't going anywhere.
"I'm an idiot." He repeats it as his hands traveled to her face, his thumb traced his jawline, while his other fingers touched her neck. He kissed her forehead. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way"
"Hak…It hurts when you're distant"
He remembered why he shouldn't be this close to her. He was losing his sanity. Again. He couldn't remember when he stopped resisting it but he knew he's totally lost it. His other hand made its way to the back of her head.
A kiss in the forehead doesn't suffice now.
He tilted her head upwards. And from her forehead, his lips shifted to meet hers. His lips brushed against hers lightly as if she was something fragile.
He pulled away almost immediately, she looks at him with eyes filled with bewilderment.
An intense blush crept up to both their faces, and both looked away.
Hak cleared his throat.
"U-um ano… princess, Y-you should go back."
"Y-yeah Yun would be worried if he wakes up and sees I'm not there"
They were both rambling
"Yeah" he scratches the back of his head.
"I'll be going then!"
"Should I walk with you? Make sure you're- -"
"NO! I mean… no, I'm sure I'll be fine!"
She hurriedly turned towards the camp and started walking. Only she couldn't feel her legs and she fell forward with a yelp.
"Seriously!" Both simultaneously thought
He ended up having to walk with her back to the camp.
Everyone still seemed to be sleeping.
"I should go in now" Yona said, still looking away.
"Goodnight, princess."
Hak started to walk back to the woods when she called him
"Hak"
He stopped, not turning, knowing she couldn't look at him straight in the face right now
Staring down at her fingers, she continued, "Does this- what happened tonight… make it more difficult for you to be around me?"
He took a moment to reply.
"Yes"
She shot her eyes up at him and found him standing in front of her looking straight at her.
"It doesn't mean I'll stop being around you. I promise"
He bent down and kissed her forehead once again before leaving.
EXTRA:
"WHY IS YONA COVERED IN DIRT AND LEAVES?!"
A bishounen's voice could be heard in the entire campsite
"She fell and tripped last night because Hak kisse- -"
Jae ha was cut-off by a knee in his gut.
"What were you saying? Jae ha? Eh? Are you alright? Oi." Hak was helping him up like he didn't do anything to him
Jae coughed, "I said Hak kis- -" Hak's knee landed in his gut again
"You have to speak clearly, Jae Ha, we can't understand you" Kija commented from afar
"Zeno thinks so too!" Zeno added
"What was that?" Yun asked again
"I went out for some air last night. I fell and tripped on my way back" Yona explained, her face was red all over.
This is gonna be difficult alright.
A/N:
This is my first time (in a looong time) to write fics again.
This is my first try at Akatsuki no Yona
O mah god, somebody bring me flowers. Lol.
Soo… I've fixed some minor issues here.. some lines that I think would have been better than the last time. And yeah, my major focus on the editing was on Yona's part. I think she came off A LOT weak from last time. I tried to make her… less weak. Lol. I mean I thought she shouldn't be at all, considering her strong personality and all. I think I overlooked that a bit. So I'm sorry for that. (though nobody mentioned it, but I'm glad I realized that myself and went to correct it… however a bit pissed at myself because I didn't realize it earlier. Ugh)
And um.. shout out to one of my first reviewers of this chapter!
XXinsidemymindXX
OMG the part about hak's "hallucination"ACTUALLY HAPPENED in the manga! Hahaha When the chapter came out, I was like, freaking out. Welp. It was a proud moment for me. Lol.
Anyway, thank you for reading, I hope I didn't waste your time. I intended this to be a one-shot, but after writing it, I feel like I could make it a multi-chap. But I don't think I'll be developing a solid story line here, just a couple of one-shots fluff fest that may be interrelated.
Tell me what you think about the changes I've made, or if it's your first time reading it, I'd like to know your opinion
Reviews are appreciated.
Tell me what you think
Constructive criticisms are welcome. But please be nice. I'm sensitive. Lol