Please, I don't want to...
Catching a brief glance of the present occupant on the seat beside me, and this state possibly resulting in him being the occupant of said seat during the following class, I voicelessly groaned as I met Devitt's habitual impassive stare.
No, please don't...just go away...
I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply as I felt my colleague's hip touching mine, almost unabashedly grinding against my shivering bones, and dared not to reopen them until I was quite confident that he had completely settled down.
Why did he torment me, or strictly speaking, why did his accidental, presumed amicable touch seem to leave burning scars on my flesh...
I couldn't suppress an uneasy hiss as I tried to deprive my thighs of the unintentional contact they received and shifted position anxiously.
With my eyes observing Jeremiah's body covertly, I was aware of the lascivious sensation erupting from its deep slumber, plaguing me, setting my soul alight...making me yearn for his touch...
Oh, Jeremiah...
Unfortunately I had not been able to deprive myself of the impending difficulties I was forced to encounter soon enough as a pupil of the St. Gall boarding school.
My unrestrainable thoughts, those dark elements erupting from my mind's abysmal caverns had inflicted my concentration and consequently my grades as well. My young confounded adolescent heart was in turmoil, unresisting desires awakening, obfuscating my thitherto pure and aspiring spirit.
Confusion...
I had found myself exposed to so many strangely beguiling allurements. The heat, the pressure...so many young and possibly adventurous bodies...and so little room...
...those prohibited sentiments...alluring, beckoning me to succumb to their sweet and forbidden promises...
Ah...
I earned myself a peculiar look of mild disinterest from Jeremiah as I flinched, trying to suppress an agonized hiss. Closing my eyes in a futile attempt to dispose of the ache, I blushed involuntarily.
No, not now...
Momentarily my left hand disappeared under the table in order to sooth my fragile spot furtively.
For weeks I attended my lessons just physically, my mind being unable to comprehend, to grasp what unknown and exotic sensations arose. My spirit baffled and astonished by the sins I had committed if not by word, at least by thought.
Instead of learning I spent my time fantasizing about his touch, his fingers caressing my limbs, philosophising about the presumed sensation his kiss would initiate...
Suddenly all subjects and themes I had once been fascinated by seemed insignificant, irrelevant distractions.
But soon enough I discovered what poor fate I had been afflicted with, for these alien and novel sensations had been negligible disturbances compared to the threatening pandemonium I unfortunately encountered shortly afterwards...
"Young du Pré?"
I did not even raise my head as my name was called and pulled my thoughts back to the miserable lecture instantly. Unable to reply or repeat the question asked I was punished by a few brutal but well aimed slaps at my hands, accompanied by my colleagues' snigger.
Over the past few weeks, my concentration had mutated into an inaccessible state of mind, therefore I was fortunate if my punishment contained of manually maltreatment only rather than of essays or beatings.
Unfortunately, I did not care...
The sheets had been the first issue. I had tried to hide them or in a futile attempt get rid of the unmistakable stains my body had emitted involuntarily during my sleep.
Evidently I had been found out, and consequently punished.
Only the accusations I had not been able to comprehend...
After class I had headed back to the dormitory without thinking, only a few steps separating me from my personal place of tranquillity, as my mind snapped back into reality, due to the dark figure blocking my way.
After innumerable restless nights I had spent panicking about this possibly alarming symptom my loins had suffered from, an appropriate term paraphrasing my distress had been discovered. Nocturnal emission.
I raised my gaze slightly, only to encounter the worried face of Father Ernest who shot me a pleading look, before disappearing hurriedly into the nearest aisle. Puzzled I entered the dormitory and sought refuge in my bed and eventually found the purifying slumber I had longed for.
Sometimes I wondered how miserable I must have looked, when I was sent to see the governing body of the school. I was transferred to another room coercively and contact with my colleagues had been prohibited until it was ascertained that the cause of my "unintentional discharge" was non-contagious.
And eventually I was sent to see a doctor...
The first sun rays woke me from my uneasy sleep. Routinely but fearful nonetheless I pulled away my blanked and inspected the, fortunately, still clean sheets as a relieved sigh escaped my lips.
I got out of bed immediately. I spent no time beyond the necessity of sleep in bed and took regular cold showers, as it had been unmistakably prescribed by the physician.
And I had obeyed, I had abode by his instructions, carrying them out conscientiously...fearfully.
It should have been for my own good, they had said. Stabilise my disquieting state of health. Curing my impurity...
During my brief but most of all arctic showers I had avoided my colleagues' company strictly. While being well aware that the obscure syndrome I suffered from seemed non-transmittable, I kept a certain distance for I could feel their curious glimpses, sensed their suspicious anticipation.
I hid it, I didn't want them to see...
In a futile attempt I had tried to secrete my oppression...
Spermatorrhoea, I had been diagnosed with.
A bizarre but most of all quite common disease, from which my nocturnal and unwilling discharges had originated from.
The doctor had simply tried to sooth me, but thereby failed to calm my insecurities. I had not understood all the words he had used, depicting my illness, neither had I been able to recall most of his explanations.
Apparently this unique disease succeeded in draining my body of some kind of natural virile energy or oomph. According to his diagnosis I was drained through my nocturnal emission, for this energy seemed to rise from my loins. A lack of this virile fluid may cause nausea, restlessness alongside anxiety and was believed to cause infertility.
Due to the delicacy of this matter desperate measures were taken in order to ensure my full recovery.
An extraordinary cure selected...
The few hours my leisure time had reduced itself to I spent reading, seeking refuge in old and mainly theological tomes. Despite Father Ernest's admonishing glance he shot me every time he encountered me leafing through some books in solitude, I took great pleasure in being alone.
At least he was certain about my incapability of doing something indecent.
The books offered me the distraction I had longed for, occupying my mind with deep thesis concerning man's fugaciousness.
And encouraging my spirit to disregard suppressed sensations I had developed towards a certain colleague.
I flinched and cursed my impure thoughts, my left hand disappearing involuntarily into my garment.
In a futile attempt I tried calming my incensed heart and failed at soothing the swollen area between my thighs. Just thinking about him, remembering his warm smile, his soft touch, his heated body has he been taking a shower...
No
Panic-stricken I closed my eyes, attempting to repress my devious longings as I had been taught...
Pater noster, qui es in caelis:
sanctificetur nomen tuum...
"Alexandre?"
The book snapping shut guiltily in my lap, I met Jeremiah's bewildered gaze as his head appeared at the edge of my bunk bed.
He shot me an agitated look as I climbed down hastily, sitting down on his bed in silence.
He wanted to talk, quite obviously, and I sat beside him listening without understanding. I could not control it; I was incapable of taking my eyes off his tempting body.
If our gazes met, I blushed involuntarily.
I tried, oh how I tried to listen, but the urge was stronger. No longer felt I able to restrain it, was not capable of fighting back the pressure building up inside of me. I succumbed.
And at agonizing slowly pace I felt the denticulated ring cutting into my flesh.
...et ne nos inducas in tentationem...
A Pollutions ring, as the doctor had explained.
A metallic filigree, its serrated annular complex giving the impression of some kind of prehistoric spring trap.
I had been rather shocked, when he had told which part of my anatomy this device would be affixed to.
Drastic, yes the doctor had explained, but nonetheless necessary. My involuntary nocturnal self-abuse would cease, for any subsultus in my loins would trigger an agonizing pricking sensation induced by the ring's barbs cutting into my flesh. Within days the irritation on this fragile and sensitive area would decline, he had promised ensuring maximum protection without restriction. Alas, the swelling had decreased, but still I had been unable to find a good night's rest without waking up once or twice due to the pollutions ring subjugating my love-stricken loins.
I had spent hours in the pitch black environment of the dormitory voicelessly groaning or hissing in pain, saying prayers to cast out my desperation or...crying. It had been hard to hide it, to let no one see...
To my own misfortune my groin became more and more restless, especially under pressure.
And I had been exposed to pressure quite regularly...
I blinked, my subconsciousness screaming at me due to the unexpected change in Jeremiah's tone of voice. But it would not suffice in retrieving my mind entangled in its own thoughts.
Touch...
With his hand brushing carefully over my shivering thigh, I gasped alerted as reality was victorious over my crude thoughts.
Gripping the book firmly, I saw out of the corner of my eyes curiosity glistening in his gaze. His spirit exploring alien terrain, taking in new and until now unknown emotions.
My eyes shut involuntarily, as I felt his tender but nonetheless greedy fingers conquering my abdominal region.
No, stop...please.
Stunned and overwhelmed by these experiences I had merely encountered in my lewdest dreams, I sat there immobile, letting my senses become engulfed by his shy caresses. I swallowed as his hand reached for my loins, caressing my unresisting flesh through the soft fabric of my clothes.
Unable to bite back an unbridled moan, induced by his lascivious touch I buried my blushing face in his locks.
I moaned unashamedly as his manual delight induced crystalline shocks electrifying my vertebra, tantalising my composure and encouraging me to succumb to this sweet infamy.
"Alexandre" he whispered my name softly as I sunk my teeth playfully into his neck.
My bites seemed to excite him, for he grew more and more impatient as he guided his demanding hands over my thighs and my now divested abdomen.
Without biding for my consent he forced his lips on mine, sucking and licking his way into my oral cavity. Involuntarily my hand disappeared into my garment, trying in a futile attempt to prevent the awakening of my loins. I flinched as my fingers touched the fragile but most of all sharp metal carelessly but it had already been too late.
Horrified I encountered my slowly erecting phallus as the serrated outer ring of the jugum penis bored itself into my genitals.
I winced and gasped for air, thereby pulling away from Jeremiahs salacious kiss.
I was quite aware of the irritated and rather interrogatory look he shot me as I rubbed my throbbing groin tenderly. Fortunately I didn't had to prevent his curious fingers from touching my secretly oppressed loins, for the door to the dormitory was forced open abruptly, making our until now devotedly bodies sitting up straight almost instantly, our heads turning to meet the possibly accusing glance of the intruding Father Ernest.
Thankfully he objurgated us only for being late for evensong, punished Jeremiah and me with a slap in the face and wandered off again.
The swelling between my thighs did not cease as I got dressed and hurried after my colleague to the school's chapel. Neither did it on my way there.
For the first time I was grateful about the dark environment of this old and mouldy masonry, for my agitated area of impurity had stayed undiscovered by my colleagues' gazes.
Forced to skip supper due to the current embarrassing circumstance, I went straight to bed, my mind in turmoil due to the throbbing ache between my legs.
I prayed, I castigated myself and cried for forgiveness, as the shameful pressure in my nether regions became unbearable.
Not even a cold shower, performed out of pure desperation, succeeded in soothing the tantalizing ache the pollutions ring forced my sinful flesh to undergo.
I had tried removing it, but had only achieved to cut my by now bleeding fingers repeatedly, for the enlacing ring suffocating my virility deteriorated my misery.
This particular device ensuring my abstemiousness had inflicted if not cut off the blood circulation in my nether regions. The "embrace" of my virile limb had become so painfully tight, that the thereby trapped blood would not drain.
At the irregular rhythm my uneasy heart was beating, I felt the metal tighten around my fragile spot, cutting my skin, sinking its "teeth" into my flesh until they drew blood.
This night I found no sleep at all, tormented by my aching genitals, sending stinging shocks through my bones at the rhythm of my unfortunate heart.
I cried the whole night through until there were no mo tears left to be shed. And in the silence of the night I prayed desperately.
My fellow colleagues had perceived my miserable condition in the morning, but did not encounter the origin of my distress, for I concealed it.
The educators were informed that I had already skipped supper and was feeling unwell and with their agreement I omitted today's terms and stayed in bed.
Father Eugene visited me twice, but I refused to tell him about my hurt and its origin and was punished for my disobedience by a slap in the face.
So every time I was aware of someone entering the dormitory I pretended to be asleep.
In my desperation my praying had ceased and I sought refuge in medical books, hopefully revealing alleviation for my hurt. No longer had I dared trying to open the metal ring engirding my painfully swollen virile limb for I feared the etiolating hurt emerging from mere fugitive touch.
I was at a loss, for the firm grip of my "silent oppressor" prevented the accumulated blood which caused my erection from flowing back, forcing this unnatural priapism to prolong.
My eyes snapped shut instantly as I perceived the creaking sound of the opening dormitory door. Furtively I tried to calm my breathing to anticipate the intruder's possible raising suspicion.
With my eyes still closed I could hear him approaching my bunk bed.
Then a hand touched my forehead amicably.
It was the soft, clandestine touch of a comrade, not the professional tactile contact to descry the body temperature.
As the hand caressed my cheek, fondly playing teasingly with my lips, I opened my eyes slowly to encounter Jeremiah looking at me dreamily.
Before I could have protested he had climbed up and was sitting beside me with crossed legs.
Commencing his amorous fondling once again, I evaded his gaze irritated and tried coiling up.
Not one word was spoken as he sat beside me, affectionately stroking my anguished body.
I felt weak and vulnerable. And as he laid down, wrapping his arms around me, embracing me devotedly, I could no longer suppress the susceptible feeling building up inside of me and started crying.
He kissed me, hugged me endearingly and stroked my hair.
And we didn't speak; we didn't need to, for he understood.
As the desperation abated, I guided his hands to my aching virile member, exposing myself to his touch. I flinched as he palpated the swollen spot a bit ruggedly. Unbelievingly he touched the pollutions ring repeatedly; still he did not seem able to grasp the idea of this punishment. He looked shocked but fascinated nonetheless.
Swiftly he had climbed down the ladder, reappearing only seconds later atop my maltreated body. Without further explanations but with craftsman like delicacy he oiled and turned the thereby loosening screw on top the jugum penis just enough to remove it from my aching genitals.
I gasped and growled voicelessly as the barbs relinquished my skin. Breathing in deeply I felt pressure releasing inside this delicate organ, felt the blood flow away, my erection dissolving.
An unbridled moan escaped my lips as I rolled onto my back relaxingly.
I felt Jeremiah's hand caressing my abdomen adventurously as his love-stricken gaze searched for mine.
I sat up until only inches remained between our faces pausing for a moment, taking in this overwhelming sensation.
As his hands explored my body further and disappeared under my garments I sealed his lips with a grateful kiss.
Thank you...
Author's note:
First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for reading this.
My story was inspired by some strange and rather gruesome medical device invented during the Victorian Era, which I came across on a fun-fact homepage: The Jugum Penis or Pollutions Ring.
During this time nocturnal emission was considered a sin but more importantly thought to be a sign of Spermatorrhea.
Therefore young men were forced into wearing these brutal metal spring traps in order to keep their souls (and mostly their sheets) pure.
The Jugum Penis or Pollutions Ring consisted of a smaller metal ring, into wich the penis was inserted, wich was connected to a bigger, denticulated metal ring.
If the penis would become erected and thereby enlarged, the phallus would make painful contact with the outer serrated ring.
Thank you for listening to the lecture and feel free to spill your thoughts.